Afraid (16 page)

‘No, I’m shattered,’ Jeff admitted. ‘I need to make an early start on looking for a place tomorrow. And I want to call in at the police station to see if there’s any news on Skye.’

Flooded with guilt at the mention of his missing daughter, Shirley gave him an apologetic look. ‘Oh, God, I totally forgot to ask about that. Have you heard anything yet?’

Jeff shook his head and sighed. ‘I’m actually starting to wonder if they’re deliberately keeping me out of the loop because social services are involved.’

‘Social services?’ Shirley gave him a questioning look.

‘The police called them in,’ Jeff explained, remembering that they hadn’t really spoken about what had actually happened that night. ‘A social worker came to see me in hospital and took my key so she could pick up some of Skye’s stuff from the house. She got me to sign some forms while she was there, agreeing to let them look after Skye,’ he went on bitterly. ‘It was supposed to be a voluntary arrangement, but the bitch shifted the goal posts while I was laid up and applied for a protection order, so now I’m going to have to fight to get Skye back –
if
they find her.’

Once he’d started, he couldn’t seem to stop and Shirley listened in silence as he poured out the whole story. Sad by the time he’d finished, she said, ‘I’m so sorry. I had no idea things were so bad.’

‘Worst thing is, it’s my fault,’ Jeff murmured, thoroughly drained by now. ‘I knew Andrea was in a bad way, but I let her get to me and that was stupid. I should have just kept my mouth shut and made her start taking her tabs again, then none of this would have happened.’

‘Maybe not this time,’ Shirley said softly. ‘But I’ve got to admit I kind of agree with what that copper said. I know you don’t really like talking about Andrea, so I only know a fraction of what goes on day to day; but even
I
can tell that she’s got a serious problem. And if she could do that to you, what’s to say it wouldn’t be Skye next time?’

‘No.’ Jeff shook his head adamantly. ‘She’d never hurt Skye.’

‘She already did, when she hit her in the face with that ashtray,’ Shirley reminded him.

Annoyed with himself for having told her about that, because it made Andrea sound like an out-of-control monster, Jeff said, ‘That was an accident. We thought Skye was asleep and didn’t hear her coming downstairs. Nothing like that has ever happened since.’

Shirley could see that he was struggling and gave him an understanding smile. ‘I’m not bad-mouthing Andrea, I’m just saying it’s something you need to think about. She might get better now, but there’s always a chance that she’ll get ill again, and you have to be prepared for that – for Skye’s sake, if not your own. The good thing is, the police and social services must have dealt with thousands of cases like this, so they’ll know it’s not your fault and they won’t take Skye away from you permanently.’

‘You reckon?’ Jeff gave a derisive snort. ‘You haven’t heard the way they’ve been talking to me, or seen the way they keep looking at me, like I’m some kind of lowlife.’

‘I’m sure they don’t think that,’ Shirley said kindly. ‘They’re just trying to look out for Skye.’

‘Maybe,’ Jeff conceded bitterly. ‘But who’s looking out for her now they’ve lost her?’

Shirley instinctively reached for his hand when she saw the pain in his eyes, and said, ‘I know this must be tearing you apart, but I honestly think she’ll be fine, wherever she is. If she’s anything like her dad, she’ll be a strong, sensible girl who knows how to take care of herself. And, as bad as it sounds, if something awful had happened, I’m sure you’d have heard by now. It’s not like America, where kids go missing and never turn up again. This is a tiny country, and there are CCTV cameras everywhere these days. She’ll be spotted soon and brought home, you’ll see.’

‘I hope so,’ Jeff murmured. Then, squeezing her hand, he said, ‘Thanks, love. I needed to hear that.’

‘Any time,’ Shirley said sincerely.

Aware that there was really nothing more to be said on the subject for now, they said goodnight and went to their separate beds. But as tired as Jeff had been before their chat, it took him an age to get to sleep. He
had
been worried that something bad must have happened to Skye, so Shirley’s words had given him a little comfort, because the police would definitely have told him by now if Skye had turned up at a hospital, or – God forbid – if a body had been found. So no news was definitely good news, he supposed. But he still wanted to know where she was, and wouldn’t be able to rest until she was found.

11

‘Big girls don’t cry … bi-ig gi-irls, they don’t—’

Skye abruptly stopped singing when the music died, and groaned when she realised that she had drained the Walkman’s batteries.

Behind her on his blanket, Bernie sighed as if to say
Thank God for that
, and she smiled as she peeled off her rubber gloves. She hadn’t known any of the songs when Tom had given her Jade’s old Walkman and Four Seasons CD after finding them in the bedroom cupboard. But after being bored out of her skull without a TV to watch, she’d been playing the album non-stop as she cleaned the house and now knew every song by heart. She thought she sounded great singing along, but Bernie obviously didn’t agree.

Skye brushed her damp hair out of her eyes with the back of her hand now, and gazed around the kitchen. Determined to earn her keep in case Tom thought she was sponging off him and chucked her out, she had set herself the task of cleaning the house from top to bottom. This was the last room on her list, and it was proving to be the hardest by far. It had taken all morning just to clear the mess off the ledges, and she’d been on her hands and knees ever since, trying to scrub through the thick layer of ingrained dirt and grease that seemed to be coating everything. There was still a way to go before it would be as clean as she wanted it to be, but it would have to wait until tomorrow because Tom would be home from work in a couple of hours. She needed to decide what they were having for dinner and then take a quick bath to rid herself of the smell of bleach.

After putting the cleaning equipment away, Skye took Bernie’s lead off the hook behind the door. She had never made the mistake of letting him out on his own again after that first time, but she saw no harm in
taking
him out. Tom didn’t know about it, and she had no intention of telling him since he’d as good as forbidden her to pay the dog any attention. Bernie was a guard dog, he’d said, and if she softened him up by making a fuss of him he wouldn’t protect her if the police came or someone broke in. That thought terrified her, but she still couldn’t bring herself to ignore the poor animal.

Used to their new routine, Bernie trotted over to her and sat patiently at her feet as she clipped the lead to his collar before reaching for the key that she kept hidden inside an old clock. Tom had confiscated the first one she’d found, but he didn’t know about the other one she’d found in a drawer a few days later. It had taken her a good week to pluck up the courage to use it, because she’d been scared that he might come home early again and catch her. But she knew the sound of his car by now and was sure that she could get back inside before he got anywhere near the house.

Confident that nobody would spot her, because she’d been here for several weeks now and hadn’t seen a single soul apart from Tom, Skye stepped outside and led Bernie around to the back of the house. The sun was high, and she raised her face to soak up its warmth as Bernie snuffled around. The nastier smells of the countryside no longer bothered her, and she smiled as she picked up the sweet scent of the wild flowers that had started to spring up in the long grass. Her parents had only ever lived in high-rise flats, or terraced houses with tiny backyards, so she’d never had the luxury of sunbathing in an actual garden before. She wished she could spend a whole day out here but she knew that would be a risk too far, so these few stolen minutes would have to do.

When Tom arrived home that evening, Skye had re-hidden the key and wiped up the muddy paw-prints before taking her bath and getting changed. Unaware that she had been outside, he smiled when he saw that she was wearing his favourite pink dress and had tied her hair up in bunches – just how he liked it.

‘Smells good,’ he said, dropping the bags he was carrying onto the table and coming up behind her as she waited for their microwave dinners to finish heating. ‘What we having?’

‘Chicken Korma,’ she told him, grimacing when he planted a wet kiss on her neck.

She could feel the hardness of his penis pressing against her buttocks and prayed that he wasn’t about to demand sex. It wasn’t so bad at night after a couple of cups of wine because the alcohol went straight to her head and stopped her from feeling anything, and the darkness meant that she didn’t have to see his face while he was doing it – or he hers. She still found it strange that she could never remember anything the following morning, but if the confusion blocked her from remembering the gory details she could live with it.

‘I lit the fire,’ she told him now, wriggling free of his grasp when the microwave pinged. ‘Why don’t you go and sit down while I plate up. I’ll fetch it in for you.’

‘In a minute,’ Tom said. ‘I’ve got something for you.’

‘Oh?’ Hoping that it wasn’t another dress, Skye lifted the hot cartons out of the microwave and laid them on the ledge before turning to face him. His taste in clothes was awful, and she hated the new wardrobe he’d bought her after throwing her jeans away. She’d never been one for wearing dresses and skirts, but the ones he’d chosen were particularly flouncy and – it had to be said – childish-looking. She’d have died of shame if any of her old friends were to see her in them.

‘Close your eyes,’ Tom ordered, smiling mysteriously.

Skye did as she’d been told and listened as he rustled around in one of the plastic bags he’d brought in. Confused when he told her to open her eyes and she saw that he was kneeling in front of her, her eyes widened when she saw the small box in his hand containing a ring with a blue stone surrounded by tiny diamonds.

‘Skye Benson,’ he said, gazing up into her eyes. ‘Will you do me the honour of being my wife?’

This was the very last thing Skye had ever expected, and she didn’t know quite how to respond. ‘But I’m not old enough,’ she reminded him when she found her voice.

‘Don’t worry, I’ll wait for you,’ Tom said, grinning as he stood up and pulled her into his arms. ‘I told you we’d be together for ever, and I meant it. I just had to know that you’d say yes if I asked. You
are
saying yes, aren’t you?’

Skye swallowed deeply when he peered down into her eyes. She did like him, but she’d been a little wary of him since he’d caught her outside and gone mad that day, so the thought of being married to him for ever and ever unnerved her.

‘What’s wrong?’ Tom demanded, a note of irritation creeping into his voice. ‘You don’t look very excited for someone who’s just been proposed to.’

‘I am,’ Skye lied, scared that he might think she was being ungrateful. ‘I just don’t know how we’d manage it. I’d have to leave the house, and someone might recognise me and tell the police.’

‘No one’s going to see you,’ Tom assured her, plucking the ring out of the box and sliding it onto her finger as if it were a done deal. ‘No one from Manchester, anyway. We’re going to Gretna Green.’

‘Where’s that?’

‘Somewhere where people can get married without anyone sticking their noses in. We just have to apply for a copy of your birth certificate and wait till you turn sixteen, then fill the car with petrol and go. And once you’ve got my name, you’ll never have to worry about going to prison because no one will know who you used to be.’

Skye bit her lip and gazed down at her ring. It was lovely, and she was flattered that Tom had spent so much money on her because no one had ever bought her anything so precious before. But a little voice in her head was telling her that it was all happening too fast.

‘I’ve got another surprise for you,’ Tom said suddenly. ‘Jade’s coming with us; she’s going to be your bridesmaid.’

‘Really?’ Skye jerked her head up at this. ‘Wow, that’s great. I’ve been dying to meet her.’

‘She’s dying to meet you, too,’ said Tom. ‘You’re her best friend, and she misses talking to you.’

‘I miss that too,’ Skye murmured.

In truth, she missed quite a lot of things about her old life. As badly as they had treated her, she still got a bit tearful whenever she thought about her mum and dad. And she even missed Hayley, despite having learned that the girl had never really liked her. Several times over the last few weeks, when Tom had been at work and the boredom of being stuck in the house on her own had threatened to overwhelm her, she had fantasised about going home. Not to stay, because she knew that couldn’t happen; just to see everyone from a distance. She had actually made it as far as the gate on a couple of occasions, but the fear of being arrested and spending the rest of her life in jail had always sent her scurrying back to the house.

‘This wasn’t quite the reaction I was expecting,’ Tom complained, frowning again as he watched the troubled thoughts flit through Skye’s eyes. ‘Me and Jade have been planning this for weeks, so the least you could do is look happy about it.’

‘Sorry,’ Skye apologised. ‘I’m just a bit shocked.’

‘Are you sure that’s all it is?’ Tom demanded. ‘Only, if you don’t want to marry me, there’s no point making me and Jade go to all this trouble to make it perfect for you, is there?’

Skye knew she had upset him, and tried quickly to make amends. ‘Course I want to marry you,’ she lied, forcing a smile. ‘I can’t wait.’

‘I hope you mean that,’ Tom muttered sulkily. ‘’Cos I’ve put my neck on the line for you, and so has Jade.’

‘I know,’ Skye murmured.

‘Yeah, well, forget about it.’ Tom abruptly let go of her and pulled his cigarettes out of his pocket.

Unsure what he’d meant, Skye felt a thrill of apprehension course through her. Forget about what? The misunderstanding, or the wedding?

‘Reheat that while I get changed,’ Tom ordered after lighting his smoke, nodding towards the food that was still sitting on the ledge. ‘And hurry up, ’cos I’m starving. It’s all right for you, lounging around all day doing nothing, but I’ve had a tough day.’