After Forever Ends (39 page)

She seemed to relax a bit, “It’s not Alexander that’s the problem. It’s all just been so fast. Like, he’s got those dark eyes that look right through you, but in a good way. It’s hard to know what he’s thinking, though.”

“Actually, Alex is very easy to read. When he’s affectionate and funny, he’s in a good mood. When he’s stormy and brooding, he’s set off about something. If it’s you, he’ll let you know, otherwise just let him be set off. He’ll cool down. And when he’s quiet, he’s feeling snowed under and he’s looking for a cave to go hide in where he can be by himself and let the feeling pass him by. Alexander is really quite simple. All you need to know is when to love him and when to leave him alone.”

Melissa either wasn’t listening or had missed the point, “How am I supposed to know that if he doesn’t tell me? He’s so intense all the time and then he goes off with Oliver!”

“They do everything together, Melissa. You can’t get jealous. There’s no competing with Oliver in Alexander’s mind, just like I can’t compete with Alex in Oliver’s. Those two are twin souls as well as twin brothers. They‘re tight as a dog with two tails.”

“I’m not jealous of Oliver!” Despite what she said, she seemed very threatened, “It’s just that I don’t like being alone! I can’t handle it! I’m used to having lots of people all around me all the time! Sometimes, though,” She was whining now, “I just want Alex and nobody else, but he’s always busy!”

“He’s trying to build a career,” She was really annoying me. I was not sure at all of what she was playing at. She just seemed jealous and needy to me. Not at all the kind of woman Alexander required. “I promise all he’s doing he’s doing for you. Have you told him you feel like this?”

“No, he should know he can’t just leave me alone!”

“He’s a man, Melissa. You’re lucky he can read a book. He certainly can’t read your mind.” I paused. I really didn’t like her, but I wanted to help her for Alex’s sake. “You know, Alex has always needed a lot of space. He gets claustrophobic when he’s crowded and he goes off alone. You have to trust that he’ll come back. He will.”

“Well, do you blame me for worrying? He’s my husband! I don’t know where he goes or what he does! You said yourself lots of girls have tried to get him,” Her voice was rising, “How do I know they’re not still trying? He’s so handsome! We run into women all the time and he knows every one of them by their name!”

“It’s a small area,” I mumbled.

“And some man made a comment about me nailing Alexander down! He said he never thought he’d see him married, he thought that someone would kill him over their wife or girlfriend first! What am I supposed to think?”

I hesitated on responding to that one, “Alex was…” How was I going to put it? “Not quick to settle on any woman for a while. He…” Oh, I wished Oliver was there! “Dated quite a lot,” I finished uncertainly.

“I bet he did! You’re married to his twin! You know how sexy he is!”

“They’re beautiful boys,” I agreed, “Inside and out. Alexander has his faults, Melissa, but he’s loyal to those he loves. He knows a lot of people, but, really, he keeps a small circle…”

She wasn’t listening to a thing I was saying, “Well, why wouldn’t they be trying? Oh my God! All my girlfriends at home wanted him! The way he talks! Well, maybe you’re used to that accent, but…Oh, my God!”

“We’re in Wales,” I was thinking that she was one of the stupidest people I had ever met, “He doesn’t have an accent here.”

She just kept talking. “When I met him, I fell in love with him like immediately. I was over the moon. I couldn’t believe a guy like that would choose me! I’d never been so excited about anything in my life. It was so perfect, Silvia! He was thoughtful and romantic and he listened to me when I talked…”

Wow, I thought, Alex really does love her. I was ready to shove one of Duncan's chew toys into her gob just to shut her up.

“And then,” She suddenly sounded very sad, “I missed my period.” She looked at her hands and shook her head, “I couldn’t believe it. I didn’t call him for a week, even though he was blowing up my phone. I thought for sure he’d freak out, you know? I figured he’d drop me and go running back to Wales, but he was so calm. He was like, ‘OK, so we’re pregnant! I was going to ask you to marry me anyway! Didn’t plan it like this, but all right!’ He wasn’t even fazed. I’m still fazed. I mean, I love him, but this all just happened so fast.”

There was an uneasy silence. “Their dad always says make your holiday choices and pack a lunch,” I said quietly. I really did want to comfort her. She seemed so hurt. It was like trying to reach out to an injured animal that you were almost certain had the inclination to bite you for your effort.

“Huh?” Her eyes flashed back to me.

“It means you can make plans, but you usually take the scenic route to see them through.”

“Ya think?” She laughed, but not as if it were funny, “I never thought within a month of graduating the culinary academy I’d…number one, be married…number two, be pregnant…and number three, most of all, I never thought I’d be living in Wales! I didn’t even know where Wales was!”

“Did you think he’d stay in the States?” I asked her seriously. I knew Alexander well enough to know he would never live that far from Oliver. Not for long anyway.

“He said he wanted to go back and I knew eventually we would. I guess I just thought it would be down the road or it would be like six months here, six months there.”

“Did he tell you it would be like that?”

“No. He told me that he had to go home as soon as he got his degree and his visa was up. I just didn’t think he meant it. I thought he’d want to stay for at least awhile. At least until the baby was born.”

“Alexander is usually pretty clear with his intentions,” I sighed, “But I can sympathize. You are very far from your home.”

“Ya think?”

I really wished she’d stop saying that. “It seemed a long way from Scotland when I came to Wales. And the Welsh are unique. The Welsh are…very Welsh. You don’t know what that means unless you come here.” I sat back and thought for a minute, “I imagine that you feel very much out of your comfort zone. But you married Alexander. He should be your home.” She began to cry. I knew I had said the wrong thing, but I was not sure why it had been wrong. “It’s OK, Melissa. It seems even with Alex you’re quite lonely…”

“I love him so much! I want to be with him, but I’m homesick already and I’ve only been here a month!” She sobbed, “Oliver has been very nice and Alex’s parents have been very nice…everyone’s been very nice, but this place…like, it’s not home. You all speak English, but it’s not English! I can’t understand half of what anybody’s talking about! Alexander talks about a going up a wooden gwelly and I don’t know he wants to go to bed! So I just sit there like a jerk! And I’m supposed to be a chef, but chips are crisps and fries are chips and prawns are shrimp! All I want is a bag of sour cream and onion potato chips and all I can find are shrimp flavoured ones! Gross! And all the food looks the same, but tastes different! I can’t get anything to taste right! Even chocolate tastes like crap here! And the other night Alexander took me out to dinner and they had peanut sauce on the plate with my meat! I almost puked!” She was obviously very frustrated, “And, like, I buy the shampoo I buy at home, but it smells weird. And I can’t drive! I’m always on the wrong side of the road! I feel like a moron!”

“You’re not a moron. You’re an American. We all expect you to be backwards. There are a lot of American tourists who come here and drive down the wrong side of the path, no one’s shocked by you doing it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. And not one of us you’ve met speaks the Queen’s English,” I told her. I was trying to be soothing, but at the same time I didn’t comprehend how she could not understand that when you’re married your husband is your home. For whatever reason Duncan chose that moment to snarl at a shadow on the wall. I tapped his shoulder to get him to stop as I continued, “And not one of us speaks American, either. You’re in Wales dealing with Welshmen. It’s a completely different lingo. I had to learn it, too, but you have to understand that to us, it’s you who sounds strange. We just all have to be patient.”

“That’s just it! I don’t fit in!”

“You fit in with Alexander.” I suggested desperately.

“I miss my mom!” She wailed.

“Have you called your mum?” I handed her a tea towel to wipe her eyes. “Have you told her how you feel?”

She nodded. “Yes. She and my sister are flying out in a few weeks when she can get time off of work.”

“Well, that’ll be lovely!”

“They’re excited,” It seemed to cheer her up just a bit, “They’ve never been to Europe.”

“Wales is very beautiful. Powys is breathtaking in spots. Oliver took me to see secret places when we were younger, places that aren’t in the tour books. Alexander knows them and I’m sure he will take you there as well. ”

“Alexander said he’d take us to England, too, and Scotland if we want to go,” She looked at me hopefully, “He says we can drive there.”

“You’re not far from England where you’re sitting right now. You could walk to it if you were determined enough. A little more than two hours’ drive will get you to London. The English countryside is quite lovely. And Scotland is a hop, but not a terrible one. I’m biased, but Scotland is amazing. You’ll have a wonderful time! You can ferry to Ireland like!” I still almost felt bad for her, but for some reason I couldn’t quite get there. Duncan growled again, “Listen, Mel, I know how lonely it feels to be in a new place and know no one really, but you’ll find friends. And you already have a best friend in your husband. You two are doing all right?”

“We are!”

I looked her straight in the face. I didn’t care what Oliver said about her, she was a beautiful girl, even if I did agree her mouth was a bit fat and oddly shaped, “It’ll take some time, but we’ll be your family, too, soon enough, if you let us. And I know Alexander well enough to tell you that he’ll not hold you captive in Wales. Once you have that baby you’ll go back to the states often as you can manage the time and the tickets.”

She smiled. “I’m not miserable, really, I’m just…”

“Hormonally challenged?” I offered, “I can only imagine what you’re going through,” I looked down at her belly, “It’s OK, Melissa. That’s a Dickinson you’ve got growing inside you. One of those is enough to put anybody over the edge at times, much less two.”

“I’m glad you answered the phone,” Mel wiped her eyes, “I think I’d die if you didn’t.”

“You wouldn’t die,” I told her, “Alexander wouldn’t allow that.”

Melissa and I spent all day together that day. I showed her around the wood and answered her questions about the faerie circle and the elves that lived there. She seemed to be able to believe it easier than I had. Finally, I asked her the question that I had been dying to ask, “What does it feel like to have that baby in you?”

She rubbed her belly, “Crampy, mostly. It’s not like I can feel it move yet or anything. I don’t think so anyway. But I’m already showing.”

“I wasn’t,” I stared at the bulge under her hands, “I was further along as you when I lost mine, but I didn’t show at all. I’m built more sturdy than you.”

Her eyes were wide. “You’re not sturdy at all!” She said it as a reflex to avoid my comment, but it was unavoidable, “I’m sorry.”

“For what? I have a woman’s body. Even when I was a girl I had a woman’s body. I've always had curves. I’d rather eat every day anyway than suffer to wear a bikini.”

“No. That’s not what I meant. Alex told me what happened to your baby. I’m sorry.”

“It happens,” I looked to the spot on the ground where my daughter had died, “But it won’t to you. You’re going to have a happy, fat little baby. And I’ll be its Auntie Sil.”

“Yes, you will!”

“And I’ll look out for the muffin, too,” I said as I looked at the sky, “I know you’re wanting to go home to your husband now. I can tell by the look of you.”

“I am,” She agreed, “I’m getting tired.”

“Come on then. I’ll bring you to him,” I walked her to the car, shouting at Duncan to stay. He sat in the grass, looking extremely put out.

Melissa talked non-stop all the way back to their flat about nothing much at all. I nodded and smiled here and there and pretended to be watching the road while I did my best not to listen. As she exited the car, I stopped her, “Melissa! Wait a second!”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For loving Alexander enough to let him have his child. He’s a good man, Alexander. He’ll give you the moon for nigh a sixpence if you’re kind and loyal to him.”

“He is a good man,” She agreed.

“I want to be your friend, Melissa.”

“I want to be yours, too.”

“Good, now I want you to know something about me.”

“OK.”

“That man you married is a step away inside my heart from my own husband. He’s the only brother I’ve ever had and he’s my best friend. He’s very important to me.”

“I know that.”

“Good. And one more thing,” I looked her square in the face, “You’d better love him and treat him the way he deserves to be treated, because if you hurt him, I swear on my dead mother that I’ll murder you with my bare hands.” She flinched. “Do we have an understanding?”

Her eyes were bigger than I had ever seen human eyes become.

“Now go upstairs to your husband and be a good wife to him.”

She just stood there.

“Good night, Melissa.” I put the car in gear.

“Good night,” She finally managed to sputter.

I nodded and pulled away from the curb.

She was still standing on the garden path staring at the car when I drove away.

Nigel Jacob Dickinson was born at eleven eighteen in the morning on a fine and rainy autumn’s Tuesday in Newtown, Wales, United Kingdom. He was a right big baby, too, and he had a head full of dusty brown hair to boot. His mother came out of it no worse for the wear, making the statement, “That was nothing! I could do that again!” to which her mother in law quickly replied, “Mind your tongue!”

Alexander was beside himself. He’d take his son and hold him in his hands and just stare at him for hours. “He’s unbelievable,” Alex would say over and over again, “I can’t believe I had anything to do with this. He’s a miracle.”