After Midnight (11 page)

In the summer the lodge used the course, as well. It was one of the many year-round attractions that made Park City so perfect for families. But today she wasn’t thinking about the fact that she had a job. Today she was thinking about her flaws. Her own shortcomings, and why other people had been able to get back on the snow and she hadn’t. Her coach had sent one of his newest talents to meet with her over the Christmas break, and she suspected he’d meant it to motivate her, but all it had done was make it even harder for her to get back out there.

She wasn’t young and untried. She had broken two world records and still held one of them. But she was afraid that was all in her past. It was hard to stare at your life when you were almost thirty and think that the best may have already happened. She’d always looked to each New Year as a chance to do better, to achieve more.

She saw Carter chatting with Nate Pearson, one of the guys who ran the toboggan course. Nate had been on one of the US teams at the winter games last year, so it wasn’t surprising that he knew Carter.

“Hey, Lindsey,” Nate said, smirking. “Couldn’t believe it when this player said you were meeting him.”

Lindsey rolled her eyes. Well, what could she say in her defense? Carter
was
a player. That was why she was struggling so hard to make sure that she didn’t attach too much importance to their one night together. Maybe if she was able to keep it to just that one night it might be okay. They could flirt and tease each other outside the bedroom and she could pretend that nothing had changed between them. Even though she knew that everything had.

“You’re preaching to the choir, Nate. I know better than to get serious with a guy like Carter.”

“I’m standing right here, you know,” Carter said.

She winked at him. “I guess you are sort of charming and cute. That’s why all the girls like you.”

“We can’t all be the Ice Queen,” he muttered under his breath. “So are you ready for this?”

“Let me get you guys set up,” Nate said.

He walked away, leaving them alone for a minute, and Lindsey noticed that Carter looked a bit ticked off.

“You okay?”

“Yes,” he said after a long silence. “I just don’t like you thinking of me as a player. That’s not what I am with you.”

She smiled, because he sounded so sincere. “I don’t believe it’s something you get to choose. You are just naturally the kind of man that all women are drawn to.”

“Even you?” he asked.

Especially her. “Of course.”

11

C
ARTER
CHECKED
INTO
one of the residences at the resort that was away from the main building but still close enough that he could drop in when he needed to. It had been five days since he’d seen Lindsey and gone tobogganing with her. He’d contemplated buying a condo in Lindsey’s development. It would have been an investment, and he did like having his own place to stay. But he had opted not to. He didn’t want to push her too much. He’d been flying back and forth between professional engagements, his home in California and Park City.

He changed into some casual boarding clothes, grabbed his snowboard and headed out. He was dying to get on the slopes. He’d taken a few runs over the past few days. Not tricked-out ones as he did on the half-pipe but runs down the mountain. God, there was nothing like that feeling as he barreled down it.

He was almost to the ski lifts when he stopped and thought about Lindsey again. As if she was ever far from his mind. He knew she loved skiing the way he did snowboarding. So he went to the rental shop, stowed his board and got himself a pair of skis. He’d tried skiing maybe twice and decided he’d liked the solidness of the board beneath his feet better.

But he was going to have to sacrifice that to make sure Lindsey knew he was serious about helping her. He’d signed up for her afternoon lesson, which had already started, so he had to hurry to join the group.

He saw the look on her face when he showed up.

She forced a smile onto her face, saying, “Looks like we have a star in our midst. This is world champ Carter Shaw.”

The kids all turned in his direction, and one boy, who was about eight, grinned up at him. “I wanted to snowboard, but my mom said no.”

“Mom said you had to do the same thing as me and Kylie.” The girl who spoke looked about two years older than the boy and, if he had to guess, Carter would have said she was his sister.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“I like snowboarding but I’m a novice at skiing,” he said to the kid. “We can learn together.”

“Cool. I’m Jackson,” the boy replied.

“Jackson, do you want to show Carter what we’ve learned so far?” Lindsey asked.

“Sure.”

Jackson was an enthusiastic teacher for someone who wasn’t sure he wanted to learn how to ski. For the duration of the class, he was Carter’s shadow. Not that he minded. He followed the kid and caught up with him.

When they were all set to take their first runs down the very small slope they’d been practicing on, Carter noticed that Lindsey looked a little pale.

Was she going to ski?

Jackson went first and looked over at him, showing off a bit as he slid down the slope and fell on his backside. One of his sisters rushed over to help him up but he pushed her hands away.

“I’m fine.”

Carter used his poles and skied over to Jackson. “Dude, you did great.”

“I didn’t. I fell.”

“Everyone falls,” Lindsey said. “I crashed big time. The key is getting back up.”

Carter looked at Lindsey, realizing again how brave she was. “It’s not easy to do, but I bet next time your run will be even better.”

Jackson nodded. Another kid called for Lindsey and she turned away to talk to the student. “Not everyone gets it the first time,” he told the boy.

“The other kids seem to,” Jackson grumbled.

“I’m going to let you in on a little secret, Jackson,” Carter said, leaning down to look the kid straight in the eye. “I’m a slow learner. I have to practice something ten times more than other people before I finally master it.”

“Really? But you’ve got gold medals and X-Energy girls hanging around you. Doesn’t seem like you have any problems,” Jackson said.

“Dude, those girls get paid to hang around me,” Carter replied, realizing that the women might attract older men to the sport but were sending the wrong message to younger ones. “There are a lot of things in life, not just skiing or snowboarding, that are hard. Some of them are going to be a breeze for you and other things will be a breeze for your friends or your sister and will take you longer to master.”

Carter put his poles in one hand and held his other out to Jackson. The kid reached up, and Carter pulled him to his feet. “I’m a little worried about my first run down the slope.”

“We can go together,” Jackson offered.

“Deal,” Carter said. He glanced over Jackson’s head and noticed Lindsey watching him. He winked at her.

She shook her head at him, but mouthed her thanks. “You guys ready to take your run?”

“We are,” Jackson said.

Carter stayed close to Jackson as they got to the top of the slope. Lindsey skied up next to them and smiled, but he noticed the tension around her mouth. He wondered if just being on the skis was rattling her.

“Give yourself a minute to look down the slope,” Lindsey said. “Remember where you fell?”

“Yeah.”

“This time in your mind picture yourself going straight past there,” she said.

“I will. Ready, Carter?”

“I am.”

Together they took off down the slope, and it didn’t really take Carter any time to adjust to having two skis under him instead of his snowboard. Lindsey had given them the basics, but more than that, just knowing the kid and Lindsey were watching was enough to make him want to do a little better.

The entire class was at the bottom of the small slope, and he looked back up at Lindsey. He was scared for her, and wondered if she’d be able to ski down it. But he saw her take a breath and come sailing down.

Her form was shaky to his eyes, but he’d seen her at her best, and today it was fear driving her—not the need to win. The smile on her face as she joined their little group, though... That was real.

* * *

T
HE
CLASS
BROKE
UP
and all the kids were reconnected with their parents. Jackson waved happily at Carter. Lindsey shook her head. Was there anyone who Carter
couldn’t
relate to?

She sat and took off her skis, and then stood there for a minute. Her first run in the better part of a year. It was a big deal and she didn’t downplay it. She’d been scared, but as usual letting Carter see any vulnerability had pushed her to just do it. And now she had. She was tempted to take another run. Down the little slope again? Or maybe something more moderate. Maybe one of the bunny slopes.

“Great class,” Carter said, coming up to her.

“Yeah? Well, you were certainly a big hit. What are you even doing here?” she asked. “Ski lessons? Just doesn’t seem to be your style.”

“When are you going to learn that I don’t fit the little mold you keep trying to shove me into?” he asked. “I’m here because if I’m going to lead a team with skiers on it, I have to at least be able to participate in a few of their events.”

“Crap. Do you think I’ll have to snowboard?” she asked. She didn’t even want to begin to think about that. Not now. “I might give it a go on one of those indoor places. It’s all virtual.”

“I’ve seen them. In fact, I have one that is branded in my name,” he said.

She laughed. Of course he did. That was really a Carter sort of thing. From the beginning he’d took to the press and to advertising as though born to it. He was photogenic, that went without saying, but he also really liked the spotlight. Almost as much as he liked snowboarding—or at least that was the impression she’d always had.

“Well, then, I guess you know what I’m talking about.”

“I do,” he said. “The kids in your class were great, by the way.”

“You caught a good class. Some of them aren’t so great. Jackson sure took to you.” Lindsey looked up at him. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you were really encouraging.”

“Shocked you, didn’t it?” he asked with a rueful grin. “Don’t let the word get out or all my rivalries will look like shams.”

“As one of your biggest adversaries, I’d never let the cat out of the bag.” She studied him for a long moment. “Have you ever thought about coaching?”

“It’s really not my thing. I mean, helping Jackson over a learning curve is one thing, but day in, day out, keeping up that kind of energy... I’m not sure I could do it.”

That was too bad. He’d sounded as though he really got the difficulties that came along with participating in a sport. Well, duh. She shook her head.

“I saw that look on your face after the run. You liked it, didn’t you?” he asked.

“Sort of. When I got to the bottom, I was elated that I’d done it. But if you and the class hadn’t been at the bottom, I might have walked away.”

“I don’t think so. You’ve turned a corner, Linds. You’re not walking away from anything anymore.”

He was right—she wasn’t. She didn’t know how she was going to take a big run, but from now on she wasn’t going to let her fear dominate her. She’d sort of turned a corner, and she knew exactly who to thank for it.

The only problem she could see was that she’d sort of tried shoving him out of her life, but here he was again. He was one determined fellow, as her granny would say.

“Why do you keep showing up?”

“Why do you keep pushing me away?” he countered. “That’s the real question. What is it about me that makes you do that?”

She could feel the heat rising to her cheeks. “I just need to sort through my stuff. And this job... I have to make some decisions, and I’ve always believed the best time to get involved with a man—”

“Wait. Are you actually contemplating getting involved with me? I thought I was your dirty secret. Your booty call.”

She shook her head in exasperation. “I don’t know why I try to talk to you. You look like a normal human being but inside you’re just one big ass.”

“I am. I really am,” he said. “But let’s both agree that you have been treating me as though I have the plague.”

“You like to exaggerate, don’t you?”

“Just a tad.” A wicked gleam flared in his eyes. “Seriously, you
are
thinking of a relationship?”

“I don’t know. Not now,” she said, but that was her own pride talking. She knew that she was infatuated with him. She’d typed his name into internet search engines, read every article on him and spent hours looking at pictures of him. Especially the one of him for the famous underwear designer. It’d be dumb to pretend she wasn’t already attached to him in some way.

“I can be too much,” he admitted. “But it’s only when I’m nervous. When I was a kid, before I found snowboarding, I used to drive my nanny crazy. Sometimes she’d have to take a day off just to keep me in line.”

That was interesting. “How’d that work?”

“I wanted her to come back. She was my companion whenever we travelled and I was homeschooled for a while so I missed her.”

“Why were you homeschooled?”

“I was a late reader,” he said. “Isn’t it funny how there is a PC term for anything that’s wrong with you?”

“I bet you were too physical to actually sit still and read,” she said. “Nothing wrong with that. And I’ll take PC over Ice Queen any day. I can’t believe Bradley called me that.”

“Well, it is sort of what the media calls you. But if you want me to defend your honor, I’ll challenge him on the slopes and humiliate him for you,” Carter said, reaching out and tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. “Just say the word.”

“I think we’re good,” she said with an uneasy laugh. She noticed that it was starting to get a little dark and she knew it was time to go, but she didn’t want to leave Carter. Not in the punch-drunk-love way but more in a tired-of-spending-all-her-nights-alone way.

* * *

C
HASING
HER
WASN
’
T
working exactly the way he’d planned, but Carter wasn’t going to argue with the results. Who knew that skiing would be the thing to bring them closer? In a way, that made perfect sense to him because it was the sport that had always been between them and it still was.

She’d been so focused on her skiing when they’d first met and now that she couldn’t ski anymore... Well, that hadn’t brought them any closer together.

“A group of people from Thunderbolt are in town and hitting a few of the bars tonight. Want to come?” he asked.

She gave him a long, level look. “Dang it. That’s on my resolutions list. I guess I’m going to have to.”

He knew she hadn’t put
bar crawl
on her list. It was the exact opposite of everything he knew to be true about Lindsey, but he also guessed she was tired of the space between them. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part. He wanted her to need him.

Almost as much as he wanted her in his bed.

“I’ll pick you up at eight,” he said. He knew he should go, but instead he reached for her skis and put them over his shoulder with his own. “I have to return these...unless you want to take another run.”

“I was actually thinking about it. But I have to do it on my own.”

“I get it,” he said. “Let me trade these skis for my board and I’ll catch a ride up with you and then meet you at the bottom?”

She chewed her lower lip. For a minute he understood what she’d been trying to say to him earlier. She wasn’t in any position to think clearly about her future. In a way that was why he thought he had to strike now. She wasn’t going to want him when everything in her life was neatly sorted into boxes. He wasn’t going to fit, but he did now.

“Okay. Where’s your board?”

“I left it with your staff. Someone named Jeff,” Carter informed her as they walked to the main ski-rental building.

“He is a huge fan,” Lindsey teased. “He probably set up an altar and lit a candle around it.”

Carter had to laugh. “I doubt it.”

“I don’t. He talks about you and the half-pipe all the time. I guess your latest stunt has really gotten him. He’d probably love some pointers.”

It always floored him when he heard someone talking about his accomplishments as though they were special. He wasn’t being funny, but the stuff he did came naturally to him and always seemed just that little bit not good enough. “Maybe I’ll see if he wants to meet up.”

“He’d love that,” Lindsey said as they entered the building. Unfortunately the kid wasn’t there.