After the Loving (9 page)

“Did I…? Uh…yeah…I did. It, uh…”

Velma couldn’t help casting a glance at Russ, who succumbed to the mirth he felt and let the laughter pour out of him.

Telford cocked his head in Russ’s direction. “What on earth? Well, I never…”

“No need to be shocked,” Henry said. “He’s been doing that lately. Darned near frightened the devil out of me first time I heard it.”

In spite of the needling, Russ couldn’t seem to stop laughing. Tara capped it when she said to Telford, “Now that you’re my dad, Mr. Russ is my best friend.”

“What about Grant?” Henry asked her.

“I like to be with Grant, ’cause he’s my friend, but I love Mr. Russ.”

Velma saw the expression of humility on Russ’s face. What a complicated man! Tough as he was, his tenderness went deep. At the astonished expressions on Telford’s and Alexis’s faces, Velma intervened. “Explanation is simple. As long as he had Telford for competition, Russ didn’t stand a chance. Let’s go inside before I freeze.”

She stood near the bottom of the stairs and watched as Telford lifted Alexis and carried her up the stairs to his room. She glanced at Henry, whose gaze had fixed itself on her as if he waited for her to acknowledge the validity of one of his pronouncements. She shook her head, denying it, but he had said the love Telford and Alexis showed for each other would shock her into acknowledging what she needed and didn’t have. She looked away from him, blinking back a tear, and her glance fell on Russ, who stared at her with such hunger that she grabbed her chest as if to slow her heartbeat.

To save face, she grabbed Tara’s hand and started toward the rooms Alexis had shared with her child. “Your mummy and dad will be down here in a few minutes, so practice your music so you can play for them.”

Velma closed her eyes and let the notes of Brahms “Lullaby” float over her. Lost in the music, she nearly jumped from the chair when familiar lips closed over hers, warm, sweet and loving.

“Russ,” she whispered as her fingers clung to his shirt. “Please don’t do things like this to me. You’re not even ready to find out whether we’ve got anything going for us. I—”

His lips cut off her words. When he stopped kissing her, she looked up at him, not doubting that her face represented a big question mark.

“I couldn’t help it,” he said. “I felt what you felt, and I needed what you needed. Let’s walk out into the hall.” They left the room, but the music followed them.

“You’re right. I haven’t decided where I’m headed, but neither have you. And I haven’t decided because it will be written in stone when I do. If I tell you something, you can put your life on it. I can say this much— You’re important to me, and I won’t knowingly do anything to hurt you.”

She appreciated his words, but they didn’t satisfy her.
“When I catered that gala celebrating the Harrington brothers’ success as builders, I sat at a table with you, your two brothers and the women you brought with you, plus Adam Roundtree, Wayne Banks and their wives. All the men were your type, and all the women except me were beautiful, tall and had flawless figures. You associate with those men and others like them. It’s like a club of successful men and their women. I can’t convince myself that I belong there or that you want me, too. If that’s what’s holding you back, believe me, a few kisses do not obligate a man. At least not to me.”

He grabbed her shoulders. “When in hell did you get this fixation on how you look, and what a washout you are? I could have taken any of several women to that gala. I took you, and I was not doing you or Alexis a favor. I was doing what pleased me. You can be so sweet, so convivial, charming and loving, and then you can say something like that to me. It’s getting to be painful.”

“I’m sorry, Russ. You can’t understand, because you’re the equal of your brothers in every way and in some respects you’re their better.”

“It seems that way to you, perhaps, but you didn’t grow up in the shadow of Drake Harrington. From the time he could crawl, the word he heard most often from strangers and neighbors was
cute
. He smiled and whatever he wanted, he got it. After our father died, Telford and I both catered to Drake’s every wish. Women, old and young, raved over him. He could grin and get anything he wanted. He still can.”

How could he make her see his point? “Look. What I’m saying is that he got the girls when he wasn’t old enough to date. In college, he was a poster boy. But I do not resent or envy my brother. I love Drake, and I know that no matter where in the world I am, if I let him know I need him, he’ll
drop everything—no matter how important—and come to me at once. I’m proud of him and of the man he has made of himself. I thank Henry for keeping Drake grounded, and for being a father to my brothers and me. He treated the three of us exactly the same, without exception.

“Velma, you are wrong to envy your sister. Love her and love yourself. Telford and Drake are closer to each other than either of them is to me, but they love me as much as they love each other. Let it go. It’s weighing you down.”

She put a hand on his arm, more to establish intimacy than to detain him. “I don’t envy Alexis, and even though I’m not quite two years her senior, I always took care of her, because our mother wasn’t a nurturer. I don’t expect to be like her, but I want to be proud of the way I look. She’s the model to which I aspire.”

“Try not to let it take over. By the way, prepare to be the subject of conversation at dinner tonight.”

“I thought the newlyweds would have that honor. Why me?”

“Because you’ll have poached chicken or fish, and everybody else will have a decent meal.”

She gazed up at him, a plaintive expression on her face. “You won’t deride me, so I’ll have at least one ally.”

He could feel the grin spreading over his face. “Hadn’t you better first find out what that will cost you?”

“You mean your support?”

“That’s exactly what I mean. If you want me to take sides against my family…” He let the idea hang.

She laid her head to one side and narrowed her left eye. “Shoot your best shot, and we’ll see what I come up with.”

“Keep me supplied with roast pork and that fancy dessert—what was it?… Oh, yes, crème Courvoisier—that you said was fit for a king.”

“Make it convenient, and I will.”

He’d walked right into that one. Her eyes widened when he said, “I can do that. You bet I can.”

She seemed unsure as to their bargain, so he took pleasure in explaining it. “You agreed to cook those two dishes if I made it convenient. That’s the bargain.”

“Good. I’ll decide when you’ve made it convenient.”

Walking back toward the living room, he said, “If you think you’re going to wiggle out of making me two of the best dishes I ever tasted, get real. It won’t happen.”

Telford ducked out of the kitchen carrying a package of cheddar cheese sticks and stopped when he saw them.

“Tara’s practicing for your inspection,” Velma said.

“Yes. I hear her, and I can hardly believe she plays so well. I’ll get down there in a few minutes. I see you two are getting along well. I had hoped you would.”

“Yeah,” Russ said. “As if the one thing that will make me happy is to have other people plan my life. You mean well, but butt out.”

“Gotcha,” Telford said. “I’m a little overwhelmed right now. Would you mind waiting until tomorrow to bring me up-to-date on things here?”

“Fine with me. At supper, I’ll be interested in how you answer Tara’s question about whether you found out what a honeymoon is.” The thought brought a burst of laughter from him, and he leaned against the stair railing and let it flow.

“This is something I’m going to have to get used to, and you or somebody is going to explain to me how this bodyshaking laughter of yours has come about. In the thirty-four years of your life, your biggest laugh was a grudging grin. How’d it happen, man?”

“Long story, and if I tell you about it, I’ll crack up all over again.”

Telford’s eyebrows shot up. “Enough said. I’m beginning to see the light, brother. Be back soon as I take these to Alexis. She’s hungry.”

At supper that night, after Telford said grace, Russ looked around the table at his new family. And there was a newness about it, though the cast had not changed. Alexis was now his sister-in-law and Tara his niece-in-law and he had a more secure feeling about the love he had invested in both of them. Drake should be there, he thought, to complete the circle.

“Now you can tell where you went on yer honeymoon,” Henry said, after taking in a few spoons of hot leek soup. “I know you musta told Russ, but he never lets a secret slip out of him. Where’d you go?”

“Honolulu, and everything about it was perfect,” Telford said, his gaze lingering lovingly on his wife.

“It was pure paradise,” Alexis added. “I’m still pinching myself.”

“I’m going to answer it,” Tara said, when the telephone rang. “Hello. This is Tara speaking.” Telford’s eyebrow shot up as if to acknowledge that the child had matured in ways other than height and piano playing.

“Eeeeow. Mr. Drake. My mummy and my dad are here. They just came back, and I’m playing Brahms, and Mr. Russ has been taking me places. Where are you?” Her giggles wafted through the otherwise silent room. “Barbady? Are you coming home tomorrow? Oh! When are you coming home?” She looked at Telford. “He’s not coming home tomorrow.”

Telford got up, passed the phone to each person who spoke with Drake, while Russ mused over his decision to leave the warmth of his family. He shrugged to shake himself out of the melancholia. He’d made up his mind, and he wouldn’t change it.

“Did you find out what’s a honeymoon, Dad?” Tara asked Telford. “Is it in Hon…olu?”

“Honolulu,” he corrected. “A honeymoon is the time when people who just got married go away together to…er…have fun all by themselves.”

“Oh. Can’t you have fun here?”

Russ wouldn’t have laughed, at least not as hard, if Velma hadn’t looked at him, wrinkled her nose and winked. Even Tara stared at him while he struggled without success to control the laughter.

“Russ, I’ve never known you to laugh with such gusto,” Alexis said. “Your eyes light up and your whole face sparkles. It’s delightful to watch.”

“It must be a religious conversion,” Telford said. “Beats all I ever saw.”

“That ain’t the only thing changed around here,” Henry said. “Velma’s given up eating, and is living on air and poached chicken. The two of ’em are having a strange effect on each other. No telling what would have happened if you’d stayed any longer. When Drake gets back, he’ll think he’s in the wrong place.”

They bantered amiably throughout dinner, and he knew he would miss supper time with them most of all. It occurred to him that none of them would believe the mental anguish he was experiencing in anticipation of his move.

The next morning, along with Telford at breakfast, he told him his plans. “It’s time I went out on my own, Telford. I love this house and everybody who lives in it, but if I stay here, nothing in my life will change. You and Alexis need privacy to solidify your marriage, and I want you to succeed more than anything. I will hate being away from Tara and not watching her grow. She is such a loving child.” He glanced away to shield his emotions, but he knew he hadn’t succeeded when Telford’s hand closed over his.

“You had responsibility for her, and she took your heart. She did that to me twenty minutes after I looked down at her for the first time. I can’t advise you. This is your home. If you move away, you can always come back and claim your room. It’ll be here for you. This might not sit well with Alexis.”

“I know, but I’ve made up my mind. You ought to know that I had to take Tara to the hospital a couple of days after you left. She swallowed something her mother uses for mixing colors. Seems Tara thought it was a chocolate bar and tried to spit it out after she tasted it, but didn’t quite manage. I’m sorry about that.

“I took her to Frederick General, and they pumped her stomach, let her rest for a couple of hours and released her. Before I left, I went up to see Uncle Fentress.”

“How was he?”

“Not good. I’ll get back there sometime this week. We’re his only guests, so—”

“I’ll get over there, too. Maybe he’d like to see our wedding pictures and some scenes from Honolulu. You don’t want me to ask, but I’m going to anyway— What about Velma?”

“She means something to me, and we click in some important respects, but…well, I’m not there yet.”

“You’ll be careful with her, I hope.”

“Of course I will.”

“H
ow did you and Russ get on?” Alexis asked Velma as they sat together in Velma’s room after breakfast on Alexis’s first full day back at home. “He seems so different, so relaxed, even outgoing, and he intercepted Tara as Telford was about to take her to school, picked her up and hugged and kissed her. She plastered his face with kisses. I was ready to faint.”

“He’s been taking stock of his life, I guess,” she told her sister. “I thought I was responsible for Tara while you were gone, but he immediately assumed the role of head of the house and responsibility for all of us, especially Tara. They became very close.”

“Oh, I knew he’d take charge in Telford’s absence. He’s always done that, but there’s more. I’ll never get used to his robust laughter.”

“It began when we were on the way home after taking you and Telford to the airport.” She related her escapade
in the roadside restaurant. “He laughed till I got worried. I think he discovered that he liked it.”

“Maybe,” Alexis said. “But he’s always been a loner, not out of step, but not quite in tune with his brothers. Cynical and serious. Something happened, and I pray it was you.”

“He lit a fire in me, all right. Honey, in that man’s arms is heaven and hell, ecstasy and pure torture. All he has to do is touch me, and I’m ready to incinerate, but he’s got the self-control of an anointed saint.”

“So it hasn’t gone all the way?”

She shook her head. “I’m not sure I want it to. He won’t even tell me how he feels about me, but he behaves as if he cares a lot.”

“Well, if you can’t resist him, stay out of his way. Give him some work to do.”

“I just got a call from my real-estate agent in Baltimore, and if I like the town house he found for me, I’ll be leaving here very soon. I’m also looking to settle my business in Baltimore. It’s gotten too big to handle with a laptop and cell phone.”

“Wonderful. That means we can see each other more often, and at least I’ll know where you are. When you come back next time, the guest room will be where my quarters were, and Tara will have the room you’re in. Telford is going to put her piano in it.”

“Can I borrow your car? I need to get started for Baltimore.”

“Sure. First, you’re going to tell me what prompted your new eating and dress habits.”

“Russ, Henry and Lydia. Russ and Henry told me they hated my caftans, and that I looked best in the kind of dress—you know, fitted—that I wore at your wedding. They needled me till I bought some dresses like this one, and some casual clothes. If I had a nice slim figure, maybe Russ
wouldn’t be so reluctant to develop a real relationship with me. I went on a diet for a week and gained three pounds, so I went to see Lydia, and she prescribed a diet. I’m hungry all the time, and I’ve lost half a pound.”

“Back up there,” Alexis said. “Did Russ suggest that he didn’t like the way you look?”

“No. He discouraged me from worrying about my weight. In fact, I think the subject annoyed him. But I want to be proud of my appearance.”

“I didn’t know you felt this way.”

She sat down beside Alexis and draped an arm around her shoulder. “I never talked about it. But when I saw how you looked in your wedding gown and the way Telford adored you, I wanted to look like that. I started wearing the caftans to hide my figure.”

“Do you like yourself in the dress you’re wearing?”

“I confess I do. It’s fitted, but it looks nice. I’m not changing for anyone but myself.”

“As long as you’re happy. My car keys are hanging behind—”

“They’re in my handbag.”

“Okay. Drive carefully, and try to get back before dark.”

The telephone rang as she passed it in the hall, and she stopped to answer it. “Hello. Harrington residence.”

“Hello,” a Southern male voice said and, remembering Dolphe Andrews’s thick Southern drawl, she was immediately apprehensive. “Is Russ there?”

“Just a minute. I’ll call him.”

“Velma? Is this Velma?”

“This is Velma. Please hold on while I call Russ.”

“Wait a minute. This is Dolphe. I want a straight answer. Is there any chance you and I could get together?”

“Are you serious? I thought you and Russ were friends.”

“He didn’t say there was anything between you, and you didn’t come right out and say it.”

She bristled at his effrontery; Henry told him and she confirmed it. “Mr. Andrews, if I kiss a man, I do not kiss his friend the minute his back is turned.”

“Give me that.” He had the phone in his hand before she realized he was in the vicinity. “Dolphe, this is Russ. Man, what’s the matter with you? She said she’s not interested.” She watched him grind his teeth as he listened. “I let her speak for herself, but if that isn’t enough for you, I’ll enforce her wishes, and you know it.”

His fingers worried the curls on the back of his head, and he looked at her. “You want to say something to him?”

“Yes,” she said, and reached for the receiver. “Grow up, Mr. Andrews.”

She dropped the receiver on the table and headed for the kitchen to speak with Henry. “Can I bring you anything from the Lexington Market? I’m going to Baltimore now.”

“You sure can. I want three pounds of good country-rope sausage, sage sausage. Tel’s back now, and that’s all he wants for breakfast—that, grits, biscuits and scrambled eggs. And bring a gallon of milk. Thanks.”

In Baltimore, she went with her real-estate agent to look at the town house, but as they drove in her car, she experienced neither eagerness to see the house, nor excitement at the prospect of finally owning her own home.

“Most people can hardly contain themselves when they go to look at a house, but you’re behaving as if you’re barely interested.”

She turned into the street and slowed down when she saw a squad car. “I don’t count my money until it’s in my hand.”

“You’re gonna like this one,” he said.

And she did. She parked in front of the gray brick
structure, similar in design to several others, but of a different color. “This is it,” he said. “Two floors, two-thirds of a basement and a large plot out back.”

She got out of the car and stared up at the house. The kitchen—large, airy and ultramodern—sealed it for her. Large living room, dining room, pantry and bath on the first floor, plus three bedrooms and three baths on the second floor. She would use the smaller bedroom for her office. After checking the finished basement and the closets, she told the agent, “I’d like my friend, an architect, to check the building.”

“Fine. Who is he and where can I reach him?”

“Russell Harrington. He’ll call you.”

“One of the Harrington brothers, the building company?” She nodded. “I’ll be delighted to meet him.”

“If he approves, I’ll take it.”

She drove the agent back to his office and headed for the Lexington Market to shop for Henry but, unable to contain her excitement about the possibility of owning the house, she dialed Russ’s cell phone number.

“Russ Harrington. What can I do for you?”

“Hi, Russ. This is Velma.” She told him about the house. “Will you inspect it for me?”

“Of course. I’ll do it tomorrow. You like it?”

“Oh, Russ. I love it. I’ll be so unhappy if you find anything wrong with it.”

“Scratch that. You’ll be happy if I find anything wrong with it, because the builder will repair it before you put your money down. Got that?”

Realizing that he would steer her properly, she thanked him and relaxed. “Now, all you need to do is find a house or an apartment.”

“Right. I want an apartment, so I don’t have to worry about outside upkeep or protecting the place when I’m
traveling. I’m glad you like it so much, Velma. By the way, where are you?”

“In Baltimore. Where are you?”

“In Frederick. Drive carefully on the way home.”

“You, too. Bye.”

“We’ll sleep in your room tonight,” Telford said to Alexis at lunch, “because I don’t want Tara down there alone.”

“Right.” She told him of Velma’s plans, and her eyes widened when she learned that Russ intended to move.

“There’s plenty of room for him. I don’t like thinking that I’ve broken up this wonderful family. Is he staying with the firm?”

“Definitely. I think he’s looking toward a family of his own, maybe not immediately, but he wants to stand on his feet, run his own household, direct his own life. He has always walked alone, although he walked along with us. He’s, well…he’s independent, a natural loner. But whatever he does, he has my support, and whenever he comes back here, his room will be waiting for him.”

“I hope you made him understand that.”

“He does, and he appreciates it.”

“What do you make of these…er…changes in him? This ebullience and…well, his attachment to Tara?”

He fingered his chin and remembered that his father used to do that. “Velma. Whether he knows it or not, she’s inside of him. As for Tara, she was in trouble and he feared for her life. That’s an experience guaranteed to teach you what a person means to you.”

Alexis seemed doubtful. “Velma said they were holding hands earlier than that, even before our plane landed in Honolulu. Now, Tara says you’re not her best friend because you’re her dad, so Russ is her best friend.”

“What about Grant?”

Her eyes sparkled in that way he loved so much. “What five-year-old can compete with Russ Harrington?”

Like a day dawning, her face flowered into an expression of awareness. “I think we should leave Russ and Velma to heaven. Apparently independently of each other, they decided to move to Baltimore, so I have a hunch they’re destined to be together.”

He allowed himself a hearty laugh. “I think Russ has that hunch, too, and that’s why he’s fighting his feelings.”

“You did that at first,” she said, glancing at him from beneath lowered lashes.

“Not any more than you did,” he reminded her. “Maybe it’s a good sign. By the way, what will we do about Bennie? She’s supposed to work a full day three times a week, but when I’m here, she comes at nine, spends the next hour and a half in the kitchen eating the breakfast Henry cooks for her, and she’s ready to leave at three.”

“I know. She doesn’t work long enough to clean all of the venetian blinds.”

“I’ll shake her up,” he said. “I’ve known for a long while that she’s more interested in Henry than she is in doing her work. If she can build a fire under him, I’ll genuflect every time I’m near her.”

At about that time, Henry was also weighing on Russ’s mind as he wavered between building a house of his own near Henry’s cottage and setting it up the hill near the warehouse. He almost preferred having it near Henry’s place, but was certain that Henry wouldn’t like it. He bought some flowers, the
Maryland Journal
and a box of chocolates and drove to the Frederick General to visit his uncle. More than once, he had thought how pleasant it would have been to have an uncle with whom to share thoughts, problems and dreams when he was growing up.

He parked, went inside, got a visitor’s pass and went up to his uncle’s room. “I never know what to bring you,” he said. “How’s it going today?”

“Good as you could expect.” He looked at the chocolates. “The doctor said I shouldn’t eat too many sweets, but I figure that at this point in my life, I can eat anything I can swallow. I’ll live three days or a week less. Thanks for the chocolates. I always had a weakness for ’em. Sit down, won’t you. You think the Ravens will win the Superbowl?”

He stared at the pale, fragile man, his age-induced blackness highlighted by the white sheets and pillow cases that surrounded him. And then he laughed. It rolled out of him, and still he laughed. After a few minutes, he looked at Fentress Sparkman. First time he ever saw a smile on the old man’s face.

“Rang your bell with that one, did I?” Fentress asked him. “And I’m glad to know you weren’t born solemn and straight-faced.”

“I’m beginning to think I’ve had a reputation for either solemnity or piousness. I hope nobody thought me pious.”

Fentress laughed aloud and raised himself up a bit. “You won’t remember too much about your father, but you’re more like him than your brothers are. Not so much in looks, but you got his disposition. He had tough guts and whatever he told you was like law. You’ll go far, Russ. He wasn’t the one carrying the grudge that separated us all his lifetime. I was, and when I see how you and your brothers have accepted me, I’m not a bit proud of myself.”

“That’s water under the bridge, Uncle Fentress. I don’t believe in living in the past.”

“You’re right—it’s a waste of your life. That was a fine-looking woman you brought here last week. She’s got class.”

“Thanks. Tell me, what do you know about my mother?
When I needed her, I couldn’t depend on her, here one day, gone the next. She came back permanently after Dad died, but I no longer cared whether she stayed or went.”

He looked in the distance and shook his head as he remembered. “First time I heard of a black girl having a coming-out party was when Etta Clark’s family threw that shindig for her. Spent more money on that party than I had the first twenty-five years of my life. She went after your daddy because his father had money—money and status that he denied me, his illegitimate son. I was envious, but not for long. She soon found marriage wasn’t the parties and games she thought and took off. I guess she didn’t grow up, but don’t blame her, Russ. She lived as she was raised.”

They talked for more than two hours. “I’ll get back soon as I can,” Russ said. “Telford and his wife returned yesterday, but Drake is in Barbados till the middle of February.”

“I know. He came to see me the day before he left. I don’t deserve the contentment I have these last days of my life, but I do thank you and your brothers for this peace of mind.”

He gazed down at the man who brought back to him memories of the father he’d loved so much. “If you think of anything you need, call me.”

With washed-out, teary eyes, Fentress Sparkman thanked his nephew, the one who had moved closest to his heart. “Not much chance of that, but thank you.”

He went to a toy shop to find something for Tara, and saw in the display window a toy grand piano with a little figurine of a black girl sitting on the stool in front of it. He looked under it, saw a key and wound it. Immediately, the little girl began playing “Songs My Mother Taught Me.” He bought it in spite of its hefty price and listened to the remainder of the songs: “Summer Time,” “The Waltz You Saved for Me,” “I Hope You Dance,” and “Singing in the
Rain.” Something for everyone, he thought, and wished he’d bought one for Velma.