After the Music (14 page)

She was crying openly, and Thorn's face Wad gone white. Absolutely white.

Her lower lip trembled and she fought for control. "This isn't much, is it?" She nodded toward the dress. "You wanted to show me up in front of your wealthy guests down there, and you did it, too. I don't have money to throw away on designer gowns. The clothes I wear are all secondhand, but I need to have them to perform in. Al says I'm the best bargain hunter around."

His eyes were fierce and the cigarette had to be burning his fingers, but he didn't even seem aware of it. He looked tormented. "I gave you that check..."

"I gave it to Al," she said wearily. "He's building a new wing for the hospital, a wing for disadvantaged children. The project we wanted your support for was a benefit to help build it. I endorsed the check and signed it over to him, to be donated in your name."

She turned away from his white face, which was drained of emotion, and life, and picked up her carryall. "As for the engagement, you'll find out soon enough that it was a sham, and why. Now go away, Mr. Thorndon the Third. Get out of my sight, before I get sick."

He stared at her, trying to find words. "I'll drive you home."

"No, you won't," she said sharply. "After what you did to me downstairs, you won't drive me anyplace. I'll walk."

"Sabina," he whispered in anguish.

"Congratulations, you won," she said, her hot eyes glaring at him. "Aren't you proud of yourself, oil baron?"

"No," he growled. "I'm ashamed." His eyes searched her face one last time before he turned and went out the door, closing it gently behind him. Sabina glanced around the room slowly and went out behind him.

She met Al and Jessica as she started down the staircase. "We'll drive you home," Al insisted. "I'm sorry. God, I'm so sorry!"

"Regrets don't accomplish anything, dear friend," she said with a wan smile. "Just get me out of here, please."

"I'll stay with you tonight," Jessica said firmly. "And no arguments. I won't leave you alone. Al, he may be your brother, but he's a monster."

"He's going to be a lonely one from now on," Al promised her. "We're getting married. All out in the open. And I'm forming my own company. We'll talk tomorrow. Thorn's really fixed things tonight."

Sabina didn't say a word. She was in love with Thorn, and he'd shown her graphically that he didn't give a damn about her. She wondered if the pain would ever stop. She felt eyes watching as she went out the door, but she didn't turn. She couldn't have borne the sight of him. She still cared. Damn him, she still loved him.

Chapter Seven

Jessica's pale eyes narrowed with concern as Sabina sat huddled in her gown and robe drinking the coffee they'd brewed.

"Are you going to be all right?" Jess asked, breaking Sabina's trance.

"Of course I am," Sabina said coldly.

Jess saw right through the mask behind the stiff lip and the determined rigidity. "You really love that man, don't you?"

Sabina took a slow breath and a sip of the hot black coffee. "He doesn't deserve to be loved."

"I'm tempted to agree," Jessica said, watching the taller girl. "But I got a look at his face as we were going out the door. If I were old Juan, I'd hide all the guns tonight."

"Did he look as if he might follow me home and shoot me as well?" Sabina laughed hollowly, but there was curiosity in the question, too. She looked up, searching Jessica's face. "Did he?"

"He looked as if he might blow his own brains out, if you want to know," she replied quietly. She wondered if she ought to tell her anguished friend the rest as well, that there had been a kind of loving anguish in Thorn's blue eyes.

"He'll get over it," Sabina said, leaning back in her chair wearily. "When he's had time to reason it out, he'll decide that it was all my fault and he'll pat himself on the back for his brilliance. He saved Al from me, you know."

"Al told him the truth." Jessica bit her lip. She hadn't meant to let that slip.

Sabina's face went stark white, her eyes as big as saucers. "And what did Thorn say?"

Jess shifted restlessly. "He didn't say anything, but Al had to call his dentist. Thorn knocked two teeth out."

"Then what?" Sabina asked.

"Thorn stormed off to his study and locked the door." Jessica sighed. "AI figured he deserved the punch, and I think I deserve one, too, for what we've done to you and Thorn with this stupid deception," she added tearfully. "If we'd had any idea..."

"Thorn and I live in different worlds," Sabina said quietly. "You mustn't blame yourselves. It would never have amounted to anything. I would have been just another notch on his belt."

Jessica shook her head. "I'm afraid not. If it had only been that, Sabina, he wouldn't have minded hurting you. Al said he was like a wounded bear. Even the ranch foreman wouldn't go near him. He went to Al, and that was a first."

"All those people," Sabina said under her breath, closing her eyes. "All those exclusive people, knowing everything about me." She shuddered. "I don't know how I stood there and said those things to him."

"I was so proud of you," Jessica said. "So proud! You were every inch a lady, and it was Thorn who was getting the killing glances, darling, not you. No one's ever beaten him before."

Perhaps she'd beaten him, but at what cost? "Everyone will know now," she said dully. "We'll never get another job. I'll have to leave the band-"

"Stop that!" Jessica said firmly. "I won't let you feel sorry for yourself. You're just not the type."

"I could turn into the type right now," Sabina laughed bitterly.

"Can I fix you something to eat?"

"I'd like Thorn's heart, fried," she said with pure malice. "Yes, I imagine so. How about some steamed liver, instead?"

Sabina laughed in spite of herself. "No. I don't want any= thing" She huddled closer in her robe. "Al was terrific, wasn't he?"

"Absolutely." Jessica's eyes warmed. "That was the first time he's ever stood up to Thorn, you know. I don't think it will be the last, despite the loss of his teeth. He didn't duck. He said he figured Thorn had the right."

Sabina hardly heard her. Her mind was drifting in and out of the past, shivering with the force of the memories. For years, she'd fought to suppress them. Now they wouldn't be suppressed anymore.

The phone rang and Sabina stiffened.

Jessica soothed her. "It's probably Al." She got up and answered it. "Hello?" Her face went rigid, and she started to speak, but whoever was on the other end apparently said something that got her attention. She paused, glancing warily at Sabina. "Yes. Yes, I think so." She bit her lip. "I don't know if she'll listen, but I'll tell her. Yes. Yes. Good night."

She put down the receiver and turned. "Thorn," she said quietly.

Sabina's eyes grew as hard as diamonds. She averted her face.

"He wanted to make sure you had someone with you tonight," Jessica said, feeling the way. "He..." She hesitated. "He sounded odd."

"I don't care," Sabina said brutally. "I'll never care again. Let's get some sleep."

Jessica watched her friend walk out of the room. Sabina was too hurt right now to listen, but if his voice was any indication, Thorn was hurting, too. That concern had been real. Perhaps he hadn't quite realized it himself, yet, but he'd destroyed the one thing of value in his life. Sabina had gotten closer to him than anyone else, and he'd lashed out at her with a fury. Al had said that. But the cruelty had backfired. It had cost him dearly. Jessica felt like a traitor to admit it, but she felt sorry for her future brother-in-law. Sabina and Thorn were so alike, both trapped in shells of their own making, keeping the world at bay so that it couldn't hurt them. She shook her head sadly and went to bed. Long after she had lain down, she heard Sabina's sobs.

At and Jessica were married early Monday morning. It turned out to be more of an ordeal than Sabina had expected. She'd thought that, under the circumstances, At would get one of his employees to stand up with him, but when she got to the small church, Thorn was there.

Sabina, in a neat beige suit, hesitated at the back pew. Jessica, in an oyster-colored street-length dress, came to meet her.

"He won't bother you," Jessica said gently. "Al made him promise."

Tears threatened to overflow Sabina's eyes. She was still vulnerable, afraid of what he could do to her right now. She hesitated. "I almost didn't come," she confessed softly. "I...Dennis, our road manager, got an offer this morning for a gig at a fabulously well-known club in New York City. Right out of the blue, at a fantastic salary. We jumped at it, of course. We needed the job really bad, and I'm...not known in New York. She choked on the words.

"Nobody will know!" Jessica said firmly. "For heaven's sake, those people aren't going to run to the nearest newspaper and have it all dragged out on the front page! Even Thorn wouldn't do that to you!"

"Wouldn't he?" Sabina asked unsteadily. She stared at his back in the dark business suit he was wearing, at the dark hair that her fingers had stroked. So they'd dulled his fangs, had they? She still felt savaged, and her pride was in tatters. The humiliation he'd heaped on her was fresh enough to burn. She'd stood up to him before, and she wasn't going to run. But her heart pounded wildly with every step she took with Jessica to the front of the small church, where the minister, Al and Thorn waited.

Thorn turned as she came down the aisle. He watched her with an intensity that almost tripped her up. His face was pale and drawn. There were deep, harsh shadows under his haunted blue eyes. So you can't sleep either, she thought coldly. Good! I'm glad you can't sleep!

She edged around him without actually meeting his searching gaze and stood on the other side of Jessica for the brief ceremony. All through it, as the minister spoke the age-old words, she felt her heart aching for what she might have had with Thorn in another time, another place. Tears blurred her vision of the minister and she bit her lip to keep the tears at bay. As he spoke the words "with my body, I thee worship," her eyes went helplessly, involuntarily to Thorn, and found him staring at her. She quickly dropped her gaze to the carpeted floor.

Thorn, she whispered silently. Thorn! How much he must have hated her, to be so cruel. His conscience was bothering him. He was guilt-ridden, but she had to remember that it was only that. He'd never cared. He'd only wanted her. And now he pitied her. Her eyes closed. That hurt the most, that all he felt was pity. She'd rather have his contempt.

It was all over in minutes. Al kissed Jessica with gusto, and then turned to be congratulated by the minister and Thorn. Sabina brushed Jessica's flushed cheek with cool lips and grinned at her.

"Be happy," she said softly.

"We'll see you soon, when we're back from Nassau."

"Not unless you don't go at all," Sabina said with a forced laugh, aware of Thorn's deep, slow voice behind her. "The band and I have to leave for New York tonight. We'll be at the club for two weeks, and Dennis said something about a video we may film there. Some agent heard us in Savannah and thinks we may have video appeal, how about that?"

"Things are looking up," Jessica grinned. "I'm so glad for you."

Sabina nodded. "Yes, I'm looking forward to it."

Jessica stared at her uneasily. Sabina was as pale as Thorn, and she seemed subdued, haunted. Of course, Thorn's presence here was enough to do that to her.

"I thought you still had a week to go at the club here," Jessica said under her breath.

Sabina shifted from one foot to the other. "Al let us out of it, with no argument from the other partner," she said, refusing even to say Thorn's name.

"Where can I write to you?" Jessica asked.

"Send it to the apartment house, in care of Mr. Rafferty," Sabina said, her voice dull and lackluster. "He said he'd hold my mail for me until I got back. I packed this morning."

The two women embraced warmly and Sabina turned to kiss Al, gently and with genuine affection. "Congratulations, pal," she said with a hint of her old brightness. "Take good care of my best friend, will you?"

"You bet," Al said. He looked radiant, but his green eyes were narrow with concern. "Take care of yourself, you hear?"

"Of course."

He kissed her cheek. "Thanks. I'm only beginning to realize just how much Jess and I really owe you for today," he added quietly.

"Just be happy. See you," she said with a forced grin. She turned, trying to get past Thorn without speaking, but he wouldn't move. Al and Jessica discreetly moved off with the minister, deserting her. She clutched her purse convulsively and stared at his striped tie.

"Well?" she asked tightly.

His quiet, darkened eyes studied her, memorized her. His hands slid into his pockets. "I'd like an hour with you_"

"I don't have an hour. I don't have five seconds for you, oil baron," she said curtly.

"I expected that you'd react that way. Maybe I can condense it. I didn't know the truth. Does that count for anything?"

She finally lifted her eyes and had to fight not to throw herself into his arms. He looked and sounded genuinely sorry. But if she'd hoped for more than a surface regret, it wasn't there. Or he was hiding it well.

"Should it?" she asked. "You savaged me!" Her lower lip trembled, and he looked violent for an instant. "I never told anyone about my past, not a soul, except Jessica!"

His face hardened. "Didn't anyone ever tell you it's dangerous to keep secrets? I tried to make you give the ring back without going that far, but you wouldn't do it."

"I couldn't," she returned hotly. "I'd promised to divert you until they could get married."

He ran a rough hand through his dark hair. "Al could have leveled with me at the outset! I like Jessica, I always have. I wouldn't have fought him if I'd known he was that much in love with her."

"He was afraid of you," she said, her voice short. "He said you'd put an end to it. They're the only friends I've ever had, so I agreed to help them. I wanted to pay you back for the way you'd treated me...." She had to stop as the rage threatened to choke her. She could barely see the shadow that darkened his eyes. "And you...trying to buy me for the night-" She laughed shakily. "My whole childhood was one long procession of men with money. You can't imagine how I hate rich men and desperate women who let themselves be bought!"