Aftershocks (16 page)

“I can’t listen to that song,” I said, shaking my head as the images flooded my brain. I couldn’t stop them.

“O-kay,” Connor said, most likely thinking I was nuts.

“Aren’t there songs that remind you of something that you’d rather forget?” I asked. Connor nodded. “Wel, that’s one of mine.”

“Okay.”

Connor didn’t ask me anymore questions, and for that I was grateful, but my mood was definitely soured by what had just happened.

He only let me stew in my thoughts for a few minutes before his hand reached out to tickle the bottom of my foot. I jerked it away instinctively and looked up at him. The playful menacing look was back on his face.

We were locked in a staring contest for a few seconds before Connor grabbed my leg and puled me toward him. Then he attacked me, tickling me until I couldn’t breathe, his hands flying over my stomach, making me gasp and laugh, as my shirt inched up, so my bare stomach was exposed.

I was squirming and screaming, as I tried to pul out of his grasp when my elbow flew out and landed right on his mouth. Al I felt was solid contact and knew that I hit him hard.

“Ow! Dammit,” Connor said, releasing me immediately, his hand flying to his face.

I landed on my bed, turned around and stood up, so I could see if he was okay. “I’m sorry,” I said breathlessly. His eyes were watering and he was blinking profusely, but he wasn’t crying. It was more like I’d knocked him so hard it made his eyes tear up. When he puled his hands away, I could see his lip was busted. Blood was pooling near the split skin, and there was definitely some sweling.

“Shit, that hurts,” he said, sitting down on my bed. I handed him a tissue to blot the blood.

I sat down next to him, feeling terrible and not sure what do to for him. “Do you want some ice?” I asked, not sure if it would help.

Connor shook his head. “I’m fine, but damn. See if I tickle you again.” He tried to smile but winced halfway through.

“I’m sorry,” I said again, feeling helpless. The blood was lessening as he dabbed at his lip, but it was definitely puffy. “You’re lip’s kind of swolen. Maybe if you lay back on the bed, the blood wil be puled away – like with gravity or something.”

He looked at me like I was nuts. “I’m not sure that’s how it works,” he said. “Are you sure you’re passing physics?” He made fun of me but lay down anyway.

I handed him a cold soda can which he placed over his lip and the tissue. He looked semi-ridiculous, so of course I grabbed my phone and took a picture.

“Ah, that’s gorgeous. Now I wil get to see this every time you cal me.” I sat cross-legged, and looked down at him.

“You’re hilarious,” he said, but it came out muffled under the can and the tissue.

“So, you have a birthday coming up?” I asked, not sure if I should feel hurt that he hadn’t told me.

He nodded. “Yeah. Friday.” Then he moved the can and the tissue from his lip and looked at me intensely for a few seconds before saying, “Come here.”

I looked at him skepticaly, wondering if he was going to kiss me again and at the same time wondering how much that would hurt him.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, come here,” he said. “Lean toward me for a sec.”

“Okay,” I said in questioning tone, but I was secretly thriled. Ever since he’d kissed me a few weeks before I’d wondered if he was going to do it again. I leaned my face toward his, until we were six inches apart. He would have to meet me the rest of the way.

For the few second that we were face to face, I drank in his hazel eyes as they stared intensely into mine then watched as they shifted to my cheek. He reached out, touched a spot below my eye. I felt electricity shoot through my body from his brief touch and imagined him moving his hand down to cup my face. I then pictured him slowly moving his lips to meet mine. He startled me when he puled his finger back quickly and revealed that he had one of my eyelashes on the tip of it.

“Sorry, that was bugging me.”

“Oh, thanks,” I mumbled, as my face flushed crimson from the embarrassment of my thoughts. It was stupid of me to even think that he would want to kiss me.

“No problem,” he said, settling back against the bed, putting the can back on his lip.

Suddenly it felt very hot in my room, and I needed to escape. “I’m going to get you some ice,” I said, needing an excuse to go downstairs and colect myself.

“Okay, thanks,” he said, removing the can and touching his lip with his finger. He was probably finaly realizing it was swolen. The soda can wasn’t doing much.

When I returned a few minutes later with a towel wrapped in ice, I handed it to him and lay down next to him. My eyes focused on the ridges in the ceiling overhead as I felt Connor move. When I looked up, he was propped up on his elbow, the ice against his lip. He was staring down at me.

“Why didn’t you tel me about your birthday?” I asked, my eyes focusing in on his.

“Because you didn’t ask me.”

I roled my eyes. “Yeah, because I randomly would think to ask if your birthday was this week. Nice try.”

He shrugged. “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. It’s just another day.”

“It’s a big deal to me. I’d like to celebrate with you.”

“I’m guess I’m just not someone who likes to make a big deal out of my birthday. I’m sure my dad wil take me out to dinner this weekend. I just want to do something low-key anyway.”

“Wel, you’re dating Alexis Blaine, so you probably should have known that you wouldn’t get off that easy. She’l use any excuse to throw a party.”

“I know. Truthfuly, I’m not too excited about it, but if it makes her happy, I’l go along with it.”

We were silent for a few minutes.

“You know what would make my birthday great?” he asked.

“What’s that?”

“If you came to the party.”

Oh no. That will not work.

“Connor, do you honestly think Alexis wil want me at her house,” I asked.

“Abbs, you’re my friend. I want you there. It doesn’t matter what she wants.”

I shook my head. “It’s going to cause problems, and you know it.”

“Abby, this is
my
party. I want you there. End of story. Do you think Alexis wil listen when I tel her I don’t want a hundred people at my party or a keg or Jel-O shots? No, she won’t, so if she wants to throw me a huge blowout, then she gets to accept that you’re coming.”

I sighed. “Connor, are you seriously wiling to risk your relationship for me to be at some party?”

“It’s my birthday party – it’s not just some party – and it won’t risk anything. She’s just being overly dramatic today. We’re fine.”

Oh what great news!

“It’s my birthday wish. Wil you go – for me?”

He said it in such a cute voice that there was no way I could say no. Damn him. His freaking birthday wish! I realy wished I knew what he was thinking when he said stuff like that.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah. I want you there. You don’t have to drink if you don’t feel like it. I won’t either, if it wil make you more comfortable.”

“That’s not why I don’t go to parties, Connor. I may not be the lush that everyone thinks I am, but I’m not above getting drunk at a party. Besides, it’s your birthday. You can’t not drink.”

“Actualy, it’s my birthday, so I can pretty much do whatever I want,” he justified. “Please say you’l go.” He took the towel away from his lip, and I could see the sweling had gone down some, but his lip was stil puffy.

How could I say no? I’d damaged him.

“Okay, if you want me there, I’l be there. Consider it a consolation for me taking away your ability to kiss for the next week. Alexis won’t be happy about that.”

I wondered how he planned to explain to her how his had gotten busted.

“Thank you,” Connor said, ignoring my barb.

He set the ice between us, reached out and took my hand, lacing our fingers together. His index finger tickled my palm, causing little tingles to go up my arm and down into my stomach. My heart was racing, but I was trying my best to conceal it and not let my breath quicken along with it.

His eyes connected with mine, but he didn’t move, and neither did I. I just looked up at him wondering what he was going to do next.

When he said he had to go since it was past five, I sighed. I knew it had been too good to be true.

Connor sat up, ran his fingers through his hair and looked around for his worn Michigan hat that he’d been wearing when he came over.

Looking as if it had seen much better days, it had somehow found its way onto my nightstand. I reached over, grabbed it and planted it on his head. He in turn leaned over, kissed me on the cheek and was up and at the door before I could recover from his lips touching my bare skin so close to my mouth.

It was October 19th – one year to the date of when my whole world had nearly caved in. I tried to push away the memories of everything that had transpired that night as I sat on my bed in my bra and underwear, shivering. The fight with Alexis, Wyatt’s phone cals that I didn’t answer, his desperate phone messages I heard too late, racing to his house when he wouldn’t answer his phone, banging on the front door to wake up anyone who was home, his blurry-eyed mother looking at me like I was crazy as I tore past her up to Wyatt’s room and ultimately finding him in the bathtub – the images flooded my memory al at once, reminding me of the sheer terror I’d faced the moment I’d burst into the bathroom and realized what he’d done.

The water had been so red I was sure he was dead. The crying, the panic, the sirens, the speeding ambulance, the police asking me questions I couldn’t answer. My chest ached as I remembered it al too vividly. Jack sitting next to me in the hospital waiting room as we waited to hear if Wyatt would be okay, holding me when I couldn’t stop crying and was shaking so badly I could barely breathe. It was al a blur that melded together in a nightmare I wished I could erase from al of our pasts.

Then the relief, more tears and realizing the magnitude of what had almost happened. Then the anger at Wyatt, at his parents, at Alexis, at the assholes who teased him instead of standing by him – it hit me al at once. Jack and I had sat in the waiting room of the hospital until the next morning when we were alowed to see Wyatt, and when we finaly did, he looked so pale and smal and so scared that al I wanted to do was hug him and make the pain go away. It had been one of the longest nights of my life, and it could have ended so differently. In that moment, I knew what it was like to feel pure hatred and true despair. It was a mix of the worst feelings I could ever remember, and they were haunting me al over again.

I took a deep breath, reminding myself that everything had turned out okay. It had taken time and distance and a lot of therapy, but Wyatt was fine. He’d survived and was even stronger because of it. Stil, I couldn’t help hate Alexis. It was her fault Wyatt’s secret got out.

He tried to take his life because of what she had done.

Now I was going to her house for a party she was hosting. The irony of the situation couldn’t have been more apparent. If it hadn’t been Connor’s birthday party, I would have bailed, but I couldn’t do that. I promised him I would be there.

He had told Alexis I was coming so she knew. She had even promised she would be nice, told him she didn’t harbor any negative feelings for me and just couldn’t understand why we couldn’t put the past behind us and be friends. She was such an effing liar, but it didn’t matter. Regardless of how she felt, and what she said, I needed to focus on Connor. It was his birthday, and we were going to celebrate.

For him, I would keep my hatred and loathing of Alexis in check.

Technicaly, we’d celebrated his actual birthday the day before with brownies sundaes after school before he had an early dinner with Alexis. Then we’d hung out together at the footbal game. I’d given him his gift when he’d picked me up for the game – a University of Michigan hat to replace the ratty one he wore al the time. I was secretly hoping he’d end up at Michigan when was al said and done.

Alexis had planned Connor’s birthday bash for Saturday night, instead of on his birthday, since her parents were out of town for the weekend. He was coming over so we could drive together. He swore we would have fun, but I knew Alexis would have her claws in him the moment we arrived. Thankfuly Luke and Nicky would be there after they closed the store down, so I would only have to suck it up for an hour before I could hang out with them.

I tried to force my negative thoughts out of my mind, not wanting Connor to know anything was wrong, as I dressed in a loose fitting plum sweater, skinny jeans and my brown riding boots. I wore my hair down, played up my eyes and put on some sheer lip gloss. I smiled at my reflection in the mirror just as the doorbel rang downstairs, and my smile grew wider as I ran down to meet Connor

“Happy Birthday!” I cheered, as I opened the door, feeling the dread slip away in his presence.

“Wow,” he breathed, his eyes moving up and down my body, coming to a stop as they locked onto mine. He smiled his trademark smirk at me that made me feel shy al of a sudden. He was seriously checking me out. “And, it’s not even my birthday anymore.”

“You like?” In a surge of confidence, and an effort to play sexy if that’s what he was seeing, I put my arms out and twirled around, loving the fact that he was eying me like a piece of candy.

“Yeah, you look great,” he said, in a sort of mesmerized way that I just wanted to bottle up.

I could say the same about him. He had on dark rinse jeans and a light blue button-down over a gray fitted tee. He had a sort of sexy J.

Crew thing going on, and I had the urge to grab on to the ends of his shirt, pul him into the house and close the door – shutting out the world altogether. But I couldn’t do that. I had to go to a party that I didn’t want to go to where I would probably spend my night sipping a beer until it was warm, talking to Luke, dodging people I didn’t like and wishing Connor was with us. But he would no doubt be with Alexis – his girlfriend.