Ain't No Angel (20 page)

The reverend’s bushy eyebrows scrunched together. “I saw him arrive with you, and he appeared completely happy. You must be doing something right.”

Laney sucked in a deep breath. “Please, send me home. I don’t want to be here any more.” Somehow she choked the words from her mouth. She did want to be here, but she couldn’t stay. What did she need to do to convince the old man that he needed to send her home?

“Mrs. Monroe, I –”

“Don’t call me that,” she snapped. “My name is Laney Goodman. I’m not married to Tyler. You know that.” This fairy tale had to end now, before her heart was crushed even more.

The reverend shook his head, the wrinkles in his forehead furrowing even deeper. He chuckled. “Of course you are married to him. You both signed the certificate, and it’s been properly filed.”

“I don’t belong here.” Laney’s voice rose in a frantic plea. She grabbed the reverend’s hand.

The old man’s face grew serious. “You can’t tell me you enjoy your old life better. Is Tyler not treating you well? Are you not enjoying the horses?”

“Of course I am,” she hissed. “Tyler treats me . . . no one has ever treated me the way he treats me.”

Laney glanced at the ground, and raked her teeth over her lower lip. She blinked back the stinging in her eyes. Memories of Tyler’s touch, the concerned look in his eyes one moment, then the heated stares he sent her way at other times, tore her to pieces.

“Then I don’t see the problem. He looks to be completely smitten with you. In fact, if I’m not mistaken—”

“That’s why you need to send me back now,” Laney interrupted.
Before my heart shatters even more.  

The reverend continued to shake his head. “Without your task completed, you’ll return to your old life, Laney.”

“I don’t care.” Laney clutched at his hand, and stared into his blue eyes.

“You’d rather go back to the life you’ve led up until now, possibly prostitute yourself? You have a good life here. I thought . . . I thought I had made a good match. This is my first attempt at bringing two people together, two people who deserve a chance at love and happiness, and you’re telling me you’re not interested?” The stunned look on his wide-eyed face, the hint of anger, confused her. What was he even talking about?

“Don’t you understand? I’m going to hurt Tyler when I do go back. Yes, I can see that he cares for me, but I can’t do to him what his mother did to his father.

The reverend clasped her hand in his. “Then don’t, Miss Goodman.” His blue eyes reflected in the light coming from the street.

“What, you mean, stay here?”  She laughed. “I can’t do that. Sooner or later, Tyler is going to get tired of me. I can’t stay in the past. I can’t even boil a pot of water in this time, Reverend. I’m not meant to be here.” Trying to convince the reverend didn’t seem as daunting as trying to convince herself with those words.

“But you just said he would be heartbroken if you left. Why would you think he’s going to abandon you?” The old man’s eyebrows furrowed, and he shook his head, complete incomprehension written on his face.

Laney paused. She sounded irrational, even in her own mind. She inhaled a long breath, and voiced her deepest fears. “Because everyone in my life has abandoned me at some point.” Laney paced in front of the reverend. She wiped the back of her hand across her face.  “No one ever stays around for the long haul. Every time I start to care about a guy, I end up getting burned in the end. It’ll be the same with Tyler.”

“You’re not being fair to him, Miss Goodman.”

Laney’s eyes narrowed. “You never intended to send me back, did you? You wanted me to stay here all along. You lied to me. Send me back to the future, Reverend.” She choked out the words. Panic gripped at her chest.
Tyler is different.

The old man’s blue eyes stared at her in disbelief. “Perhaps I was mistaken yet again,” he said in a whisper. He shook his head. “I will never fathom human emotions. I did not make this decision to send you to Tyler lightly, Miss Goodman. I was so sure that you and he were a perfect match.”

A perfect match? Laney blinked back tears. In her experience, there was no such thing, at least not for her.

“Well, you’re wrong,” she said, steeling her heart. She swallowed back the lump in her throat.

Doubt nagged at her at the reverend’s words. What if she and Tyler were a perfect match? She wanted to believe it was true. She’d never wanted to believe anything more desperately in her life. But what if he turned out like all the others in the end? No one was ever going to save her. She would always be on her own.

 None of her foster families had ever cared enough to do any more than put a roof over her head in order to collect the checks the state paid them for keeping her. Her own mother had made no effort to clean herself up in order to get her back. When Tyler grew tired of her, she’d be stuck here, alone and abandoned yet again, but in a different century.

Could she even learn to live in this time? The thought that she could make a life with Tyler had crossed her mind on more than one occasion. Obviously the reverend knew things, and had powers she didn’t even want to contemplate. If the reverend had sent her here to stay with Tyler, was it worth risking another heartbreak to find out if she was meant to be with him?

“You were correct, Miss Goodman,” the old man said with a quiet sigh. “I brought you here with the hopes that you would want to remain in this time. I was so sure that you and Tyler would fall in love. You have completed your assignment where Tyler is concerned. He was a man who didn’t want to trust a woman, a man who didn’t want to love anyone. You have changed his mind about that, and in a very short amount of time, I might add. He is completely taken with you. I only wish I could understand what is required to help you overcome your fear of abandonment.”

He turned away from her and headed for the street. Laney rushed after him.

 “I can’t believe you lied to me,” Laney said between clenched teeth. She wanted to be angry. She didn’t want to focus on the old man’s words that Tyler was in love with her.  “You promised me a position on a horse farm if I did what you asked. Now you’re saying you had no intention of sending me back home.” The old man’s actions proved that everyone lied to her, that no one could be trusted.

“I didn’t lie to you, Miss Goodman. Staying here in the past, married to Tyler, you would be living on a prosperous horse farm. You would be living the kind of life, with the kind of man, that you’ve dreamed of for so long.”

Laney laughed bitterly. “That’s not what you led me to believe, and you know it.”
He’s right, dammit! Why are you arguing with him?

“I’ve brought two young people together who have both been leery of finding happiness due to their pasts. It appears as if you have cured Mr. Monroe of his problem. It doesn’t appear as if you are ready to believe that there is a good man out there for you. What is required for you to allow those walls you’ve built around yourself to crumble?”

Laney ignored his words. He was right. She was too afraid of yet another heartbreak. She’d cured Tyler of his fears of commitment? Reverend Johnson believed that Tyler was in love with her. Was he correct? She gritted her teeth.
You want to stay with Tyler
.
You love him.

The reverend continued walking until he reached the street. The light from the oil lanterns that illuminated the boardwalk flickered warmly. Up ahead, laughter and piano music drifted from the saloon. He stepped onto the wooden walk, and turned to face her. Laney bit her lower lip. The look on his face told her he wasn’t going to budge on his decision.

He sighed deeply. “If you still wish to go home after you’ve cured the horse, I will send you back to your time, Laney. All I ask is that you give it a few more weeks.”

He’s giving you what you want
. Her heart raced. Why did it not make her happy, then? The reverend said that Tyler loved her. Gabe had hinted that Tyler was in love with her. Could she give up everything she knew, her old life, and live here in the past? With the guy she’d fallen completely in love with?

“A couple of weeks? And you’ll send me home?” she choked out.

“Yes, Miss Goodman. I’ll send you home, if that’s what you really want. But I warn you now. Once you’ve completed your assignment here, if I send you back to your time, I won’t be able to bring you back if you decide to change your mind.” He searched her face, then smiled. “You’d best get back to the party, before you are missed.”

The reverend turned and walked away before she could say another word. Laney swiped her hand over her face, pushing back some of her loose hair. Slowly, she turned to head back the way she came. This meeting with the reverend certainly hadn’t played out the way she’d hoped. If he had agreed to send her back immediately, there might have been a slim chance that she’d get over Tyler. She laughed. It was far too late for that already.

Laney inhaled deeply. Was it time to stop running? Tyler was her dream come true. Would it be so wrong to stay with him? Tears welled up in her eyes. She loved him.

Deep down, you know the reverend is right. You want to stay with Tyler. You want to stay in this time, regardless that you haven’t got a clue about how things are done. You can learn. Maybe it’s time you set aside your fears, Laney.

Tyler was so different from all those other guys. He treated her with such respect, it made her chest hurt just thinking about it. The thought that he might have fallen in love with her, like everyone seemed to think, scared her beyond anything she could imagine.

With a determined lift of her chin, she wrapped her shawl more firmly around her, gathered a handful of her skirt, and stepped off the boardwalk to head back toward the livery. She scurried up the street toward the light coming from the festivities, when she nearly collided with another body that materialized out of the dark. Her hand flew to her mouth to muffle her startled scream.

“Oh, my goodness, I’m so sorry. Are you all right?” A soft, raspy voice greeted Laney.

She stepped away from the person she’d collided with. “Yes, fine.” Laney blinked as an unexpected jolt of dizziness swept over her. Her head pounded where the colt had struck her. Apparently, she wasn’t completely healed from that injury.

“Beg your pardon, ma’am,” the other woman said again, and tried to scurry past her. She hastily pulled her shawl up over her bare shoulder. Laney caught sight of the woman’s flimsy dress, if it could even be called that. She wore no more than a fancy corset, and a plain light-colored skirt. A huge black set of feathers bobbed behind her head. She glanced up and met Laney’s eyes, and Laney held her breath. She’d seen that look before . . . in her own eyes.

“Is everything all right?” Laney asked slowly, her eyes darting to the girl’s clothes, then back to her face.

“Yes, ma’am. I need to get back to the saloon before I’m missed.” She tried to move past Laney.

“Wait. Are you sure you’re okay?” Laney took a step closer. Dirt streaked the girl’s face where obvious tears had run down her cheek.

“You really shouldn’t be talking to me,” the girl said with a quick laugh.

“And why not?” Laney challenged.

This could have been you, Laney
. That haunted look on this girl’s face had been her more than once, in fact. Her mind drifted back to the days she lived with the Sheldons, and her decision to finally run away.

“Who hurt you?” Laney said forcefully, and reached for the girl’s arm. Anger flooded her. This girl couldn’t be more than eighteen, and she’d sold herself into a life of prostitution.

The girl stared at her with wide eyes. She laughed bitterly. “Some men can get a little rough, but I ain’t hurt.”

Laney ground her teeth. “What’s your name?” she asked softly. She held the girl’s gaze, waiting for an answer.

“Alice,” she finally said. “And I need to get goin’.”

She pulled her arm away. Laney reluctantly let the girl go. She stared after her as she darted up the boardwalk and finally disappeared inside the saloon.