Ain't No Wifey 2 (7 page)

              “Like you can reach my face. Calm down ain’t shit happening with her.” I tried to pull her in my arms but she resisted.

              “I’ll make you sit on the floor, I bet that much.” She walked out the room. I picked up my phone to see a picture of a pregnant stomach and the caption “your baby boy”. I slapped my hand on my forehead and looked down at the floor.

              “You really don’t like me huh,” I said, speaking in reference to the devil.

13

Kareema

             
Two weeks had passed since I’d been in Miami. I didn’t get a chance to run into Sasha yet but best believe I was following her ass. By chance, I happened to hear a couple of groupies talking about a show that was filming here. I asked about it and they didn’t want to give me no information. When the two stuck up bitches left, the fat hair stylist told me about the show. I immediately called some agents and got the ball rolling to get a spot on the show. Now here I was sitting in the office, ready to sign my contract. Hasn’t God been good?

“Can I offer you some water, coffee, or tea?” the receptionist offered. I looked around the empty boardroom before I answered her ass.

              “Tea, milk and two sugars,” I politely replied. She went to go get my tea while I sat and waited again.

              I pulled my phone out and scrolled through my Facebook. I waited for another hour before my meeting started and my tea was bought to me. Two men and a woman walked into the room with dress suits on and folders.

              Good morning Ms. Blois,” he started. The other two followed suit.

              “Good morning, took y’all long enough. Why set a meeting for 9 am when you’re just now starting at 10 am,” I snapped. I was beyond irritated at their lack of consideration.

              “Very well, let’s get this started. My apology Ms.Blois,” he apologized and shuffled through his papers. The lady stood up and took stage.

              “Look, Kareema, we don’t need you, you need us. So, let’s get this straight. Your agent called me and set this up; it wasn’t the other way around. We’re offering you a spot on our new reality show
The real ex’s of Miami.
We are prepared to offer you a fifty thousand dollar advance and pay you twenty grand every episode. We film twelve episodes a season. Your agent sent over your backstory and who your child’s father is. We love the works of Donovan Jackson. We would like to extend the invitation for his new wife and her sister to join, seeing all the drama that has been in tabloids about them lately.” She sat down and handed me the contract.

              “Uh, I don’t know if they would want to be involved.” Getting Donovan and Milan to agree would be like pulling teeth and I didn’t know Minka personally to extend that invitation to her.

              “If you can that would be great. We would also like to get a few shots of you and your daughter’s father this season; I suggest you make it happen,Kareema. Do you need time to look over the contract?” she asked, sitting back down and looking me in the eyes.

              “Nope.” I signed the contract and she handed me a prepaid debit card with my money on it already.

              “Let me explain how our payroll works, we place the money on the card after each episode. We do not do checks or wire money into accounts. That card is your life so if you lose it, you lose your money. Thank you for your time and we will be contacting you in a week for filming. Do you have a makeup artist or hairstylist for this season? If you don’t I suggest you get one.” She stood up and left the room dismissing me.

*

I sat under the hair dryer getting my hair done again. I received a call shortly after I left their office, that I would be filming tomorrow morning. I needed to find a place because that hotel I was occupying wouldn’t be it. Tina, the fat stylist who told me the information I needed took me from under the dryer. She sat me down and unrolled my hair; my hair came past my shoulders. I knew once I filmed, there would be a million niggas knocking down my door.

              “How did the contract signing go? Did they meet your demands?” Tina unrolled my hair and spritzed it with hairspray. Little did she know I didn’t have any. If they offered my ass a hundred dollars per show I would have taken it.

              “Hell, yeah. Why wouldn’t they? Look at me, you can’t be serious…. They asked me if I had a make-up artist and hairstylist, so since you helped me I’m helping you.” She squealed and hugged me.  She did good work but needed to fix her own self up.

              “Thank you so much, Kareema. This means a lot to me, I won’t let you down.”

              I nodded my head. I only used her ass because she was cheap and wouldn’t be smart enough to increase her prices once she got the exposure from the show. Her ass would still charge me the hood prices and I could pocket my money and use her dumb ass. I leaned back in the chair and closed my eyes. I had one more visit to make and that was Sasha’s ass. Too bad I would have to make the hour trip to her. I’d probably get Tina to drive me.

14

Juelz

             
“Yo, when you gonna wash my clothes? I need to be out,” I yelled to Kola.

              “Nigga, I’ve been cooking, cleaning and taking care our damn daughter. You’ve been out the damn rehab and been on nothing but my damn nerves,” she replied, with her hands on her hip.

              “Kola, shut the fuck up and bring me my damn clothes. I got a flight to catch in two hours and I need my damn clothes.” I waved her ass off. She was forever getting on my damn nerves and if I had a choice, her place would be the last place I would be caught in. But, as luck would have it, I was released from the rehabilitation center without a dollar to my name. Agent Ramez refused to hand me any money in my hands; all my expenses would be taken care of by him.

              Kola got her lazy ass up and switched into the kitchen, where the washer and dryer were. I could hear her mumbling shit under her breath. I didn’t care as long as her black ass was washing my clothes. I got out the bed and stretched my body. It been a couple months since I had some pussy let’s just say, Kola was my victim.

              My mind was on Minka and Ashley; they did something that was unforgettable. That night in the parking garage, I didn’t know Ashley would shoot and try to kill me. The doctors said I was lucky to be alive after an incident like that. I lost my speech and mobility; I had to learn everything all over again like a newborn. There was a time they called the preacher in because they didn’t think I would make it through the night. I proved them motherfuckers wrong and now I am here.

              “Baby, I got your clothes washing, you want something to eat?” Kola asked, she always had a way with disrupting my thought process.

              “Yeah, hook me up some chicken and French fries. Run down to the store and get me an orange soda, too,” I demanded. She rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath. I waved her ass off and observed my face. I still had some swelling in my head and some scars from the many procedures I had to endure. While being treated in the rehab I built a whole new mentality: fuck the world. Ashley and Minka hadn’t seen anything yet, and when they did no one would see it coming.

*

              Wherever Minka was, I was sure Ashley was sure to follow. Her ass always had a way of being so far up Minka’s ass she couldn’t think straight. The reason we couldn’t work out was strictly because Ashley had to know Minka’s opinion on everything. I’m surprised she didn’t call Minka and get sex tips since her sex game was so damn weak. Bitch couldn’t fuck to save her life. Now Minka could fuck and suck the skin off your dick. She’d have your ass crawled up sucking your thumb when she was done with ya. That was probably why she was back with her fat ass man. I stayed caught up on everything Minka did.

              Ashley wasn’t in the tabloids at all. Why would her basic ass be anyway? She was always Robin to Minka’s Batman.  Nobody gave a fuck about Robin. Robin didn’t have any movies made after him. Shit, the last movie I saw with Batman, Robin’s ass wasn’t even in it. Last I read, she was in Miami living life like she and her best friend didn’t just try to take mine. The only reason I knew Ashley’s location was because the dumb bitch still kept in contact with my mama. She and my son were jet setting in London with that fake ass singer/ rapper. 

              I sat on the edge of the crusty ass hotel bed and put my hands in my head. Ramez didn’t know I took the flight to Miami. He thought whoever had this done was affiliated with the Moore brothers or should I say Moore brother. He was getting impatient because time was ticking and Kirk would be released for lack of evidence. If he thought I was about to risk my life again so he could avenge the death of his brother, he had another thing coming.

              Minka and Ashley was on my mind so much, it made my dick hard thinking about them. I didn’t want them serve a day in jail, I did want them to serve eternity in hell. I got the hell out of New York as fast I could. After I finished with Minka and Ashley, I had a man down here in little Haiti that would hook me up with a boat ride to Haiti. And from there I planned on flying to Aruba. By that time, Ramez would have all authorities on me and I would be already in another country living it up.

              “Yo,” I answered the phone; it was Kola’s ass. I hadn’t been gone a damn week and she was already on my nerves.

              “When are you coming back, Ju? That detective came over here today asking about you. He said if I didn’t give up where you are I’m going to do jail time… I’m not fitting to do jail time Juelz, where are you?” I laughed in the phone and slammed my phone on the floor, smashing it with my size thirteen boot.

              Bitch thought I was telling her where I was going, she as wrong as the little girl she had calling me daddy. That little girl wasn’t my damn daughter; she was as black as the licorice and looked just like my homeboy. I guess I had to get another phone now; I also needed to get my hair cut and face shaped up. I headed out to do just that. I’ll probably find a bitch that I could lay up on. My money was running thin; I had about one more night in this crap house hotel.

15

Milan                           

“Baby, you would never guess who’s on the
Real Ex’s of Miami
?” I jumped on the bed and woke Donovan and his daughter up. They were both sleeping peacefully but I didn’t care. I had the tea and was ready to spill.

“Damn, Cookie. Can we talk about this later,” he mumbled and pulled the cover over his head. I was persistent and snatched it off his head. I woke Tavia up and carried her to the guest bedroom. I returned back to the room to Donovan sleeping again.

“Are you going to guess or keep sleeping?” I tapped him on his forehead. Before I was able to keep bothering him, he swooped me up in his arms and kissed me all over my face.

“Tell me, Cookie. Who’s going to be on the show?”

“Your baby mother is going to be on the show.” I snapped my tongue.

              “Let her ass be on the show, she still ain’t you. You live in this big ass house, fat rock on your finger and you drive two whips,” he retorted sitting up on the bed. Despite all he had just said, I knew it bothered him. Hell, it bothered me; I didn’t want her on TV bad mouthing my man. Not to mention, she wouldn’t hesitate to bring up his charge.

              “I think you need to call your lawyer and give that bitch a gag order about your charge before she films. That could hurt your business, clients and all.” I suggested, he nodded his head and leaned back towards me.

              “You right, that’s why I married you… let’s get up and ready so we can catch this flight, I’m ready for some vacation time.” He slapped my ass, as I went to get ready for our trip to Miami. 

*

“Minka, I hate that he has this charge. I mean I didn’t like he kept it from me but I’m going to be there for my husband. This bitch is trying to ruin him,” I huffed, while burping, Miya.             

“Did he talk to his lawyer? The gag order is a perfect idea. He will lose so much clientele from this charge.”

“That was the first thing he did, her ass should have got served by now. We paid extra to have the shit rushed. Enough about me, who’s this bitch I saw in the paper with Micah?”

“His ex-girlfriend who moved to Africa, her ass is back and keep trying to hangout with him. I’m trying to practice the good Lord’s virtues and have patience but the bitch keep trying me.” She took the baby from me and put her in the swing.

“No, Micah’s ass is trying you. You need to put that damn law down,” I said, looking at her with my infamous look.

“He knows better. Let’s drop the subject,” she advised. I knew the situation perturbed her. I hoped like hell Micah wasn’t being senseless.

I got up and went to fix Tavia and myself something to eat, she ran out the room with her iPad and iPod on. Donovan spared no expense when it came to Tavia. She was spoiled rotten because of him. She already had a playroom in our vacation house and we just arrived yesterday. Instead of trips to Saks and Niemen Marcus, it was in the Toys r us.

“I can’t believe you are a stepmother, you’re selfish as hell,” she continued.

              “I am not selfish, I just like everything to be about me.” We both burst out laughing. We knew I was selfish as hell.

              “You’re so stupid, guess who’s coming back?” she jumped up and down as I admired her ass. I needed to go see my plastic surgeon. It was natural and jiggled. Mine had a little jiggle but not as much as Minka’s. When I did mine I didn’t want it too loose. Yet, now I was having second thoughts, Minka’s ass was amazin-