Alexander Outland: Space Pirate (33 page)

“Why?” I couldn’t believe that Slinkie would have been considered to fit into any form of lower class, but who knew how a planet based on birds and birdbrains really worked. “It doesn’t sound insulting.”

“It’s not.” Tanner laughed. “It’s restricted as a compliment, not as an insult.”

“So, only the greatest looking women get named Seraphime. Got
it. What’s the problem?”

Slinkie was still upset, but she looked flattered. “Nap, you’re really a featherbrain sometimes.” She sighed. “It’s not based on looks. It’s based on… lineage.”

“Tanner, either tell them or let me. We have better things to do than draw this anticlimax out.” The Governor sounded ready to knock some heads. I didn’t want to see the attempt—the chances of me laughing were too high, and it seemed like we were going for tense and solemn.

“Fine, sorry sir. Seraphime is a name associated with Aviatian royalty. You may recall, a few years ago, there was a huge interplanetary manhunt. Well, womanhunt, really. Because the youngest member of the Aviatian Royal Family had disappeared?”

“Vaguely.” Hadn’t concerned me, didn’t care.

“Oh, I remember,” Randolph said. “Everyone was upset, she was kidnapped right before her wedding or something.”

“She wasn’t kidnapped,” Slinkie snapped. “Did you take a look at the atrocity they had set to marry me—” She slammed her mouth shut.

Reality dawned. “You’re Princess Seraphime?” My Slinkie? A princess? Looks-wise, sure, though I usually considered royalty to be just this side of barking. Clearly they ran to better genetics on Aviatus.

“He was a disgusting dodo and almost as old as the Governor! I was not going to hang around to get married off because it was convenient.”

“No argument coming from me.” I pondered. “How did you escape and stay hidden?”

Everyone, including Randolph, gave me a look that said I was an idiot. Tanner answered. “Well, as far as our intelligence network was able to ascertain, she hooked up with a space pirate who doesn’t base out of any particular planet.”

“When was Slinkie with some space pirate I don’t know about?”

“Never, Nap.” Slinkie started to laugh. “And this is why my cover was never going to get blown. Until the hatchling showed up,” she
added with a snarl for Tanner.

“Oh, it’ll get blown in a nanosecond as soon as the de Chance crew from Aviatus sees you, Princess.” Tanner looked at me. He was also laughing. “Nap, you moron, she hooked up with you. She jumped a lot of ships, found the one where she fit in, and she stuck around. It’s taken years for us to figure out who she was crewing with.”

A different light dawned. “That’s why you were heading to Runilio. To intercept us.” I could tell from his expression I was right. Might be stupid about Slinkie but not about self-preservation. “But how would you know?”

He coughed. “That order for magma you were trying fill? I originated it.”

The Governor gave him a sharp look. “We took that order from the Ipsita Company, but it came through Janz the Butcher.”

Tanner shrugged. “Yes, it did. And it took several months to get to Janz and a few more to get to Ipsita and then to all of you. I told you—I’ve been doing this a long time.”

“How did you figure we wouldn’t fill the order on Thurge?”

“Once I knew who Princess Seraphime was hiding with, I did extensive research. Your, ah, way with the ladies wasn’t exactly hidden information. It’s not hard to remind women of the guy who loved and left them.”

“You’re the reason we’re in this mess?”

“No. Slinkie’s the reason you’re in this mess.” Tanner didn’t sound accusatory. He was also, as I thought about it, probably right.

“I’m not going back.” Slinkie’s voice was very calm. “I’d truly rather die.”

“Like I’d let anyone take you where you didn’t want to go?” This earned me a fast shot of the dove-look. Slinkie liked me possessive and protective. Check. I was good with that.

Tanner shrugged. “Should we survive this particular encounter? All your father really wants to know is that you’re alive and well.”

“He knows.”

“No, he doesn’t.”

“How long have you known?”

“A couple of years.”

“Then that’s how long my father’s known, isn’t it?”

Tanner sighed. “No. I haven’t told him. I haven’t told anyone.” Slinkie looked at him, the shock obvious. “What do you mean? Why not?”

“I’m a telepath, remember? I was already in active service when you ran off. I read your intended, well for the brief moment before my mind slammed shut on him. Not as bad as Nitin, but honestly, pretty close. I wouldn’t take a woman I despised back to him, let alone someone I like. And, yeah, if you go back, he’s still waiting for you.”

“All these years? I mean, Slinkie’s worth waiting for, but that seems a little over-committed, especially since she left him at the altar.”

The Governor sighed. “Sometimes, Alexander, you’re so simple and short-sighted. Miss Slinkie’s intended isn’t waiting for her out of love or even lust. He’s waiting because marrying into the Aviatian Royal Family is a very good thing. And he’s from a very needy planet.”

“You know?” Slinkie sounded surprised.

“My dear, I knew who you were the first time I laid eyes on you.”

Randolph coughed. “Me, too.”

Slinkie’s jaw dropped. I only managed to keep mine closed. “How? I mean, Randolph, you never said anything.”

He shrugged. “You didn’t want anyone to know. Saladine and I both figured it out, and it was obvious why you needed to hide. You were great with weapons, normally nice to be around, and Nap was in love with you. Seemed like good reasons to help you keep your secret identity, well, secret. What?” he asked in answer to the look I knew I was giving him.

“I don’t think you needed to say that out loud.”

“Nap, it’s really obvious you’re in love with Slinkie,” Tanner said.

Lionside nodded. “Nauseatingly obvious.”

“Even to me,” Audrey added.

“Do I need to chime in, or are you clear that I, needless to say, knew you were in love with her before you did?” The Governor was back to his translations. Nice to see that my love life rated so high on his interest meter.

“Nap, if it’s any consolation, I wasn’t sure.” Slinkie gave me the eagle-glare. “You sleeping with half the galaxy wasn’t exactly a tip-off.”

“Slink, I keep on telling you—I sleep with them because I can’t have you. If I now have you, why would I want any of them?”

“Why aren’t you calling me Princess Seraphime?” Said with curiosity, not pique.

I shrugged. “Aside from the fact that you don’t like it and don’t want to be Princess Seraphime any more?” She nodded. “Slinkie fits you.”

She stared at me for a few long moments. “You know there’s no money or power that comes along with fleeing royalty.”

“See, that’s why we’re in the business we’re in, Slink. Don’t need to marry into money if you’re capable of stealing all you need in the first place.”

I got the dove-look again. “You really don’t see this as any big deal?”

“No. I see it as a great reason for me to stick with my original plan.”

T
here was an appreciative pause before Lionside asked the inevitable question. “Just what is your original plan?”

“I want Audrey and Slinkie staying on board the
Sixty-Nine
, and I want all three of my women in hiding.”

“Three?” Tanner asked.

“Ships are female,” Randolph answered. “I agree with the idea, Nap, but how are we going to do it?”

“Hulky? You able to flash into this area?” A green grid placed itself next to Audrey’s slide show. “Good man. Okay, anywhere on this rock we can hide you and the girls? Until such time as we start screaming for you and the girls to come rescue us, that is?”

A variety of schematics flashed along. I got the impression Hulky was looking at and then dismissing options. Hulky finally settled on a schematic. Looked like a lot of lines to me. But there were no dots.

“Captain, I believe we would be able to hide the ship in the area denoted. However, I’m concerned that we would be easily tracked.”

“Oh, I doubt it.”

“Why not?” Tanner sounded worried. “I mean, even if we had a beacon calling to the armada, they’d know we had a ship here. How else did we get here?”

“See, that’s the thing. We’re not going to be here.” I got the group look of confusion and disbelief. Always nice to know my crew believed in me. “We’re going to fly over to Trennile Main and be dropped off. Audrey can pilot back here and hide. We’ll steal a ship and be up in the air before the de Chance Family Pirates show up.”

“You make that sound so simple.” Lionside sounded less than thrilled. “How in the world do you think we’ll get away with something like this so easily?”

“Well, it might not be easy but—” I was interrupted by a change in Hulky’s schematic. Instead of a grid, there was a circle within a circle, with two lines going out in a V from the top. I stared at it. “Um, Hulky? You trying to tell me something?”

Apparently he was, since the picture began flashing. It rang no bells.

“It’s a couple of circles attached to a couple of lines.” Slinkie sounded annoyed. “You know, that’s pretty useless as a clue.”

Hulky scrambled the picture. I got the impression he was doing the electronic equivalent of heaving a huge sigh. A stick figure appeared, with the circles and lines superimposed over it.

“Oh! It’s a necklace.” Randolph, unsurprisingly, was the one to pick up the electronic charades.

“It wants us wearing necklaces?” Lionside sounded as confused as I felt.

Hulky drew a crude ship around the stick figure. “That the
Sixty-Nine
?” The picture flashed, so I took that as a yes. “Sorry, still no idea what you’re going for.”

More stick figures appeared. Two had ‘hair’. I counted—the stick figures corresponded to the number of us on the
Sixty-Nine
. Only the one was wearing a necklace.

“You want Nap to wear a necklace?” Randolph asked. The schematic flashed again. I was sure it was in frustration. The necklace grew larger. “Oh. He’s wearing a necklace?” The schematic flashed again, this time, clearly showing joy.

“I’m wearing a necklace?” I was? I pondered. Oh, right, I was. That
thing I’d taken from Nitin. I pulled it out. “Yeah, forgot about it.”

Randolph stared at it, eyes almost bugging out of his head. “Where did you get that?” His voice was hushed, like we were visiting a shrine to Weshria’s top god.

“Took it off of Nitin. Forgot about it. Why?”

“Could I see it?”

Couldn’t think of a reason why not. Took it off and tossed it over. Randolph looked panicked and almost fumbled the catch. “Don’t throw this, Nap. Ever again.” His hands shook. “I haven’t seen one of these in years.”

“What is it? And why can’t I throw it?” It wasn’t that great to look at and why should I care about preserving something of Nitin’s?

“Because this is one of the most rare things in the galaxy.” Randolph’s voice was shaking like his hands.

“Looks like an unimpressive decoration to me,” Lionside said. The rest of the crew, Audrey included, nodded.

The Governor deigned to take an interest. I saw him stiffen. “Randolph, has Alexander damaged it?”

“Not that I can tell.”

“Can you make more of them?”

“Now that I have a prototype? Yes, probably.”

“Excellent. Make it so and be sure to determine if you can create one that will work for the entire ship.”

“Good idea, Governor.”

They were off in their own little world. “Excuse me? What is that and why do you think I’m going to okay it being put on my ship?”

Randolph looked at me, eyes wide, still breathless. “It’s a matter-shifter. There are only a few in existence.”

Tanner and Lionside sucked in their breath. Slinkie, thankfully, spoke for both of us. “What does it do?”

Randolph managed a smile. “It allows you to shift matter wherever you want, whenever you want. If we’d had this, we could have just moved onto the
Sixty-Nine
and left without any of the other stuff we went through.”

Thudding silence hit again. Tanner broke it. “Ah, if Nap took it from Nitin, then we did have it.”

“We could have avoided the hazard suits and the sewer system?” Slinkie’s voice was back to creating space ice.

“We could have avoided blowing up the entire Herion Spaceport?” Lionside was matching her.

“Yes,” Randolph confirmed.

Everyone gave me the hairy eyeball. I shrugged. “Sure, we could have. But think of all the fun we’d have missed.”

“F
un?” Slinkie didn’t sound amused. “You call everything we went through fun?”

There was much crew grumbling. I shrugged. “I didn’t know what it was. We’re all alive and two of you, Tanner and Lionside, should be happy I had no idea what I was wearing. Or you’d both be on Herion and we’d be long gone.”

Tanner sighed. “Good point. How powerful is it?” he asked Randolph.

“Not sure. Audrey and I need to spend some time on it.”

“Do we have enough time?” I really didn’t want to engage the
Sixty-Nine
with the armada if I could help it.

“I think so. Excuse us.” Randolph wandered off to his part of the ship, aka the parts I rarely ventured into. That load of droppings that a captain knows every part of his ship is just that—a load. Captains who know every single part are captains who can’t find a Chief Engineer. Randolph was many things, but among them, he was the best CE out there. He didn’t tell me how to fly, I didn’t tell him how to keep us flying.

“Captain, I have uploaded the disc’s contents to the main computer. You can continue to view the pictures where it’s convenient.” Audrey trotted off after Randolph.

“I think I’ve seen enough. Tanner, Governor, you want them left up?”