Alexander & Rebecca (Royals of Valleria #1) (8 page)

“It’s important to me,” he said and fixed his unwavering gaze upon her again.

She shifted in her seat as she reached for the wine; perhaps a few sips would brighten the flush on her face. “Just some of his comments and actions.”

“What actions?” he asked deceptively soft.

She shrugged. “It was nothing.”

“If it had been nothing, you would have mentioned it already. Did he try something with you?”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” she said and took a long drink of wine.

“Yes, you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be so evasive.”

“It was nothing other teenage girls didn’t also deal with.” She sighed as she put down the glass. “I’m not comfortable discussing things like this with you. Less than an hour ago, you were someone else to me.”

“I wasn’t someone else. I was just someone who meant something else to you an hour ago. I’m very pleased, however, to know that I now mean something different to you,” he finished with a smug smile.

“There’s just no reasoning with you,” she said before taking a bite of food. She didn’t taste the delicate flavors of the sauce or the unique flavor of the homemade pasta; all she tasted was cardboard and her own fear of the conversation.

“Tell me what other teenage girls had to deal with. You can understand that Cat and my sisters never had such concerns.”

Rebecca chuckled. “As if they would tell you if they did.”

A storm flew through his eyes. “Are you telling me that men have tried things with my sisters?”

Oh, dear. “All I’m saying is that, under normal circumstances, a man will try anything to get a woman into bed. If that woman happens to be royalty, then they’ll just be more discreet about it. I did
not
say that any men have been successful.”

“Were they unsuccessful with you or my sisters?”

“I can’t answer for your sisters.”

“Then answer for yourself.”

“My date that evening was unsuccessful.”

“Elaborate.”

She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Why don’t you elaborate on your first date? Or the first time you were with a woman?” she asked, unable to use the word ‘sex’ around him. As it was, she was sure her face was bright red.

A devious smile slid across his face as he picked up his wineglass. “I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours.”

“You first.”

“No, you first. Elaborate on what that boy did to you.”

Exasperated, she said, “He didn’t do anything. He wanted to sleep with me but I wasn’t ready for that, so he took me home after the night was over. End of story.”

“Was that so difficult to say?” he asked before taking a drink.

Instead of answering, she said, “Your turn.”

He put down his glass and his fingers circled around the rim as he spoke. “I was fifteen when I had my first date. It had been arranged by my parents and the prime minister of Italy, who had a daughter near me in age. We attended the state dinner together, and barely spoke through two hours and a stiff dance.”

“Sounds awful.”

“It wasn’t so bad.”

“I meant for her. What if that had been her first date, too? First dates mean more to women than men.”

“There we disagree. Our first date has been something I’ve been looking forward to for quite some time; tonight means a lot to me.”

When she didn’t say anything, he continued. “The first time I had sex with a woman, I was eighteen,” he started, and smiled when a blush spread across her cheek. He wondered what else might make her blush. “Another state dinner with the same Italian prime minister. This time, his daughter and I found much more to discuss.”

“I’m sure,” she mumbled.

“We’d both grown up in that time between state dinners, and we both understood, at least to some degree, the pressure and burdens on the other. It was her first time, too, and we fumbled through it quite nicely.”

“I see,” she said, staring into her wineglass. Is that how her first time would be? Would she just fumble through it, too? Alexander would want an experienced woman for his wife, not a virgin in her thirties. She had never thought that she would reach this age and still be inexperienced; it had just happened. She had been on hundreds of dates it seemed like, but the men had only wanted her body when she was younger, and access to her political position when she was older. No one had ever wanted
her
.

“Where did you go?”

“Hmm?” she asked as she looked up into inquisitive eyes.

“What were you remembering?” he asked as his hand picked up hers.

“Nothing important.”

“Were you remembering your own first time? You can tell me about it. I might have the man killed afterwards, but that’s no reason not to share,” he said with a smile.

Rebecca huffed a laugh and tried to remove her hand, which stayed infuriatingly clasped in his tight hold. “It’s nothing.”

“Tell me.”

Her emotions had been on a whirlwind tonight. From believing she had no hope with Alex, to almost believing that she might. Would this push the balance in the other direction? “Let me ask you some questions first.”

He gave her an assessing look, before he said, “All right. Ask away, but I reserve the right to ask my question again.”

Rebecca nodded. “How many women have you been with?”

“Ten.”

Lower than she’d thought, but it meant he was much more experienced than her or any of her friends. “Have you ever had any relationships? The press never picked up anything, but that doesn’t mean anything.”

“I promised you total honesty and I meant it. I mentioned I never had a girlfriend before, and that was true. No relationships. The women I’ve known, make no mistake, I’ve respected them and treated them with respect. I made it clear I couldn’t give them more than what I could, and I made my expectations clear before we were together. I enjoyed my time with them, and they with me, but I never considered a relationship with anybody but you.”

“I just don’t understand why you never gave any hint to your feelings before, and why you’ve suddenly decided to pursue me now.”

“I didn’t decide to pursue you now. It’s true that the feelings I have for you never really went away; they grew more complex and I just buried them. I decided to pursue you just over eight months ago, and tonight was just the first chance that I had to act upon it.”

“Eight months?”

“Yes. Eight months ago, you attended the Christmas Ball. You were beautiful, stunning in your rich red and gold dress. I had almost accepted my feelings for you before then but, when I saw you, there was no use denying it anymore. I wanted to dance with you, to take you into my arms and hold you close. However, you had come with a date, just as I had, and it wouldn’t have looked appropriate. Not with all the press there.”

“I didn’t even think you’d noticed me except for when I greeted you and your family.”

“As I said before, I was very good at hiding how I felt for you. Though it became difficult that night when that cretin you were with couldn’t keep his hands off of you.”

Rebecca chuckled at his irritated expression. “We were dancing most of the night. It is hard to dance and not touch.”

“As if that’s a valid excuse. Anyway, I tried to find a moment, a night for us, like tonight, but you were always so busy with Cat’s schedule and I couldn’t get away because of my own. When the opportunity came up tonight, I seized it. I know it seems sudden, but it’s not, not to me. I hope with a little more time, you’ll realize that.”

Rebecca gazed at their joined hands. His hand felt warm and strong around hers. “I’m trying. That’s all I can do.”

He brought her hand to his lips for a brief kiss. “That’s all I want, at least for now. Now then, I’m asking my question again. Please tell me what was troubling you earlier.”

Rebecca sighed. It seemed only fair to provide him with her truth, as he had done the same. “I’m not as experienced as you are,” she said and felt his hand squeeze hers.

“Explain.”

She took a drink to fortify herself first. “I’ve been with less men than you have.”

His mouth was a thin line. “Well, I haven’t been with any men, so unless you’ve been with less than zero you’ll have to elaborate.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Stop evading the question.”

“I just think you’ll be upset when I tell you, so I’d rather not say anything else.”

“I think you should just let me decide what to be angry about. Though I promise to keep a cool head, and I don’t make promises lightly. You should know that about me.”

Though she believed him, it didn’t make it any easier to say the embarrassing words. “I-I’m a virgin.”

For the first time in her life, she saw Alexander with a shocked face. Eyes wide and mouth parted, and his hand tightened on hers. “What did you say?”

“I’m not going to repeat it,” she said and took another drink. Good God. She’d just told the crown prince of Valleria that she was a virgin. Where was a rock to bury yourself under when you needed it?

“You’ve never been with anyone? No one? But we’re the same age.”

“I know,” she said as she put down her wineglass and tried unsuccessfully to pull her hand away again. After a few more tugs, he finally released her and she stood and fled the room towards the front door of the office suite.

He caught up to her barely a moment later, and stood behind her, placing his hands on her arms and rubbing softly. “You’re very much mistaken if you think I find that news upsetting. If anything, I’m even more attracted to you and I didn’t think that was possible.”

“What?” she said as she spun around to face him. His face held a small smile but his eyes smoldered. “What?”

He pulled her against him and wrapped his arms around her. “Knowing you’re untouched, God, it’s arousing.”

“It is?”

“Oh, yes. I want to take you right here and claim you for my own, like I’m some uncivilized caveman.” When she stiffened in his arms, he said, “But I won’t.”

She had to admit that she felt a little disappointed, though it didn’t make sense to her logical mind.

“I will, however, do this,” he said before his lips fell hers. This kiss was different than the one before. It was just as powerful, just as masterful, but it meant something different. It
felt
different.

Before, she had been a confused woman kissing Prince Alexander, future king. Now, she was a little less confused woman kissing Alex, the man who would be king one day. There was a sense of understanding between the two of them, though Rebecca still didn’t know how far they’d go.

For now, she just enjoyed him and this moment. As she buried her hands in his hair, she tasted the meal and the wine on his lips and tongue, and wondered if he tasted it on hers. Somehow, they ended up on the couch in a waiting area, and she slid seamlessly under him while they continued kissing. With her eyes closed, she felt one of his hands tangle in her hair, while the other caressed her bare leg and slid underneath her skirt.

Anticipation of where his hand may go drew both arousal and fear within her. No matter what they had shared tonight, she still wasn’t sure if she was ready for that next step.