Chelsea, surprisingly, had risen from bed and walked over to Jenna's bottom bunk in her pink-feathered night slippers that her mom had just sent her. She went back to her bed proudly because she had just scored a new handful of Nerds.
“You want some?” she asked Alyssa, thrusting her hand toward Alyssa's face. Alyssa turned the other way, which was the smart thing to do. If Alyssa had said yes, Chelsea would've yanked her hand away. The girls could handle Chelsea because at least her behavior was predictable.
“You want some?” Chelsea asked, shoving the Nerds in Alex's face next.
Alex didn't appreciate the interruption. She was busy thinking and pretending to write her letter. She tried to ignore Chelsea, but it didn't work.
“I
said
,” Chelsea repeated, “would you like some?”
Alex tried to be as casual and distracted as she could when she gave her usual answer, “No, thank you.” She started scribbling words onto her sheet of paper energetically. She wanted to look inspired so no one would dare break her train of thought. No one would have, eitherâno one except Chelsea.
“What? Are you watching your weight?” Chelsea said, heading back to her own bed again and dragging her pink slippers. Under her breath, she added, “Maybe you're like one of those girls in the sappy teen magazine articles with an eating disorder.”
The rest of the bunk gasped, especially Brynn. Alex knew it was because Chelsea had been brazen enough to verbalize what everyone else had been thinking all summer long. Everyone wondered why she didn't partake during bunk parties, but Chelsea was the only one rude enough to actually bring it up.
“Maybe you should mind your business,” Brynn said to Chelsea in defense of her friend. Alex thought Brynn would sneak over to talk about it, but much to Alex's relief, she didn't. Instead, Brynn whispered something to Sarah. At that moment, Alex felt so weird, so out of touch with everyone.
“Well, okay then,” Chelsea said. “Hey, everyone, maybe we should try to be as slim and trim and perfect as Alex,” she added as Brynn shot her a dirty look. Alex clasped her pen so tightly that she thought it might snap in half. She poked a hole through her letter by accident. She wanted to scream, to rip Chelsea's slippers to shreds. But mostly, she just hoped that no one could tell how fed up she was getting of everyone wondering what was wrong.
“Just ignore her,” Valerie interrupted.
So that's what Alex did, for the moment at least. Staying quiet was easier this time. Infuriated and nervous, she thought about how she had been born with a petite Korean body like her mother's. She thought about eating and how much it terrified her. Since food was definitely an issue for her these days, she had diverted more energy than ever to working out. Alex felt more powerful when she had strong muscles, quick running reflexes, and expert soccer abilities. She was willing to do anything to have those skills. She focused on those thoughts, trying not to think about what Chelsea had just said.
But Alex could barely stand it. She was ready to shout at Chelsea, to tell her what a witch she was for always getting into other people's business and making a big deal about herself. And Chelsea wasn't the only one who would feel Alex's wrath. Alex was ready to tell her whole bunk to just cheer up. She held herself back and got her thoughts organized. Alex never spoke without getting it together first. Her mom and dad had taught her to be smooth and cool and collected, and most of the time, that's exactly what Alex was. But then, with the Nerds fresh on her mind and Chelsea right there in her face, Alex just about explodedâuntil Julie, their counselor, and Marissa, their counselor in training (CIT)âarrived in the bunk after their staff meeting.
“Lights out!” Julie yelled. Surely, she'd heard the commotion and that's why she had butted inâit seemed like Julie was always coming to the rescue.
Alex was thankful. In her heart, she had wanted to lose it on everyone. But her mind knew better. Starting something with the whole rest of her bunkâgirls she loved, well, most of the timeâwas a disaster waiting to happen. Alex looked up and noticed that all eyes were on her. She hoped they hadn't been able to tell that she was about to lose her temper. Alex's skin turned redder and redderânow because she was angry and embarrassed. Before anyone could say another word, Valerie got out of bed and flicked the lights off fastâit was like she'd been reading Alex's mind. The tension in the room went from thick and gloomy to just plain tired and cranky.
Chelsea threw herself against her pillow, seemingly disappointed that she hadn't been able to get Alex, or anyone else, stirred up. Then, the twelve girls in 3C went back to whispering about whatever they whispered about when the room was dark.
“Final electives!” Julie yelled the next morning. Each girl needed to pick her last two free-choice activities for the very last two weeks at Camp Lakeview.
Only two more weeks!
Alex thought. Part of her was happy that it was almost over. She couldn't wait to see her parents and her friends from home again. But part of her was so sad, too.
Alex huddled with Brynn to make the big decision. Brynn was such a drama queen, and Alex preferred to have her drama on a theater or television screen. Even though they were so different, their friendship workedâwell, most of the time. Brynn created action and excitement, while Alex kept the two of them on time and grounded. Alex admired Brynn's free spirit. Because of her, Alex rarely got bored.
“I have to take drama, of course,” Brynn said. “Then I think I'll take nature.”
“I have to take sports, of course,” Alex answered, laughing. “Then I'll take . . . it's a secret.”
“Tell me!” Brynn begged. “Best friends tell each other everything.”
“It won't be a secret if I tell you,” Alex said, poking and tickling Brynn so she wouldn't get mad at her for not telling.
“Puh-
leeeeeease
!?” Brynn said, this time using the full range of her booming voice. Alex couldn't help it. She caved.
“Okay, okay. Is there any chance I could talk you into taking ceramics with me? Puh-
leeeeeease
!?!” Alex added, making Brynn laugh again. She wished she and Brynn could finally have an activity together. After all, there was no way Alex could take dramaâshe considered herself allergic to the stage spotlight. She preferred to shine on the soccer field.
“Just take drama with me,” Brynn said. “I'll help you! It would be so cool. You never knowâyou might be a star.”
“No,” Alex answered, knowing full well that she might as well be in drama since she'd be helping Brynn with her lines like she always did. That's how it had always been between the two friends. “No, no, and no,” Alex added. “Come on, do ceramics this once.”
“I love you, Alex, but you can't ask me to give up my whole entire life for you,” Brynn said, kind of teasing, kind of not.
Alex sighed. “All right,” she said. There was no point in trying to change her mind. Brynn was just excited for her big play after allâthis year's production of
Peter Pan
was going to be a blast!
The other girls from the bunk flocked to Julie's sign-up clipboard. Julie was always smiling, and everyone loved her. It didn't even bother her to get bum-rushed by a gaggle of excited girls. While Alex waited patiently for the mob to clear, she heard Jenna ask to be in photography with her brother Adam again. Alex was happy to see they were getting along better. Jenna'd had a rough spot a few weeks ago when she pulled a crazy prank, letting all of the animals free to howl and poop and cry during the camp social. Jenna had temporarily lost her brain, but thankfully, it seemed to have found its way back into her head. Grace and Brynn signed up for drama, and they vowed to be partners so Grace wouldn't end up with a bully like Gaby again. Natalie and Alyssa asked to be on the newspaper together, and Val, always the independent one, signed up for woodworking.
“You just want to be with the boys!” Chelsea teased Val. The boys were a divisive issue for some of the girls. Jenna and Alex were on the anti-boy, anti-flirting side, while some of the others were starting to have crushes. Alex couldn't understand why boys were so important. Her friends were talking about them, walking around with them, and worrying about what they did or didn't do. Alex thought it was just easier to be friends with themâjust friendsâso they didn't take any time away from her already jam-packed life. She had a lot of guy friendsâshe loved playing soccer with Theodore Cantor and Andre Derstein back homeâbut that didn't mean she wanted to
hold hands
with either of them. In fact, the idea creeped her out. Alex figured she was lucky she felt that way. Her parents were so conservative that she knew she wouldn't be allowed to date until she was at least thirty.
“Oh, yeah, the boys,” Valerie said. “I'm not stupid,” she added, flipping her long cornrows into Chelsea's face. Alex knew that Val was just playing along, though. Val was really good at woodworking, whether half the boys happened to be in that class or not. She'd already made a cutting board, a lamp, and a carved plaque with an elephant on it that hung on her bunk. Valerie had the funkiest jewelry and decorations and clothes. Alex was always admiring her stuff in their bunk. She felt like her own choice of decorâplain navy sheets that matched her mostly navy and white outfitsâwere getting totally boring.
Thinking about trying new, artsy things, Alex got excited again. She had told Grace that arts and crafts were smelly and boring just a few weeks ago, but she didn't feel that way anymore. It was time to try something other than sports. Alex had been inspired by the Ninja Supertwins book she was readingâone of the twins is an awesome sculptorâand by her friend Bridgette from home who had signed up for painting class at the local art museum. Alex had been in a funk latelyâshe hoped a change of pace would help. So when the other girls had made their picks, Alex made her move.
“Here comes young Mia Hamm,” Julie said, making Alex smile, not to mention blush. “So, what'll it be?”
“Ceramics, please,” she answered, moving her knapsackâthe one she
always
carriedâto the opposite shoulder. Alex had seen the necklaces some girls had made in the last session. They were these shiny, round beads that hung from a leather strap. Alex knew her mother, an art teacher, would love to have one. Her mother would be so happy to get a necklace from Alex, too, since Alex was rarely interested in noncompetitive activities. Alex had always known she was a little bit more like her dad, a litigations lawyer who lived for trials that put the bad guys in jail.
“You want ceramics?” Julie asked, totally surprised. She'd known Alex for years, and when she put Alex in arts and crafts three years ago, Alex had cried. (Alex was still embarrassed about that, but she figured she was only eight years old then!)
“Hey, I may be an old dog,” Alex started, “but I can still learn a few new tricks.”
“I think that's so awesome of you!” Julie said, paying close attention to how Alex felt. Julie always paid close attention to everyone, and that's what made her so special. Julie could have five girls screaming in her ear all at once, and each girl would still know that Julie was listening to her. Alex saw Julie as a role model. She could totally see herself becoming a counselor at Lakeview one day.
“Wait, um, Alex,” Julie called a few seconds later. “Could you please do me a favor?”
“Sure, anything,” Alex said. Julie's face was wrinkled and unsmiling, and that made Alex worry.
“I can't believe I have to tell you this, but . . . hmmm . . . ceramics is full, and I would've saved you a spot, but I just didn't have a clue you'd pick an arts activity,” Julie said. “I feel so bad about this, Alex.”
“Um, well,” Alex replied, her hopes sinking into the hungry part of her stomach. “Okay,” she added. She mentally kicked herself for not putting ceramics on her free-choice list that Julie kept earlier.
It's my own fault,
she thought. It seemed like she was always missing out on things because she just didn't speak up in time. She could've been the captain of her soccer team back homeâshe was the best player on her fifth-grade teamâif she had just said that she was interested. She hadn't, so one of her teammates got the role.
“But I can put you in woodworking,” Julie said.
Alex's faced dropped. She imagined splinters and nails and difficult projectsâand way too many boys. Julie patted Alex's back and started to smile.
“Come on,” Julie said. “It's so creative. It really is. You can still try new things in there. I absolutely promise that you will have fun.”
“Do I have any other choice?” Alex asked.