Authors: Galia Ryan
Tags: #bdsm, #london, #submissive, #alpha male, #chat room
Alice was weighing up her options. Leave now, though if she did, it would spell out defeat in vivid neon lights. Or stay a little longer.
It didn't need to go as far as dinner.
Besides which, he was very attractive.
“
I'm Alice.”
“
Equally fitting.”
“
In what way?”
“
Alice. The girl who went down the rabbit hole.”
A
t first Alice was dismayed by the wooden tables and guttering candles in coloured jam-jars. But she was soon drawn into the ambiance, and even better, wowed by the food.
“
Oh my God, this is just divine,” she sighed, licking and sucking at her greasy fingers before reaching down for her napkin.
“
I told you it was good here. Grab another rib.” He was already rearranging the platters and sliding another in her direction. “The jerk chicken here is the best for miles. Take it from one who knows.”
In spite of her reservationsâand there were still plentyâAlice had to admit she hadn't enjoyed herself quite so much in a long time. As they ate, they talked, though not of the important things, such as the website and what lay behind their meeting. For as soon as her probing got a little too close, he'd turn the conversation back to more general topics, such as music she might have listened to or films she might have seen. The usual first-date stuff. Alice didn't care. In fact, the relief was overwhelming. Had she been asked, she would have said that surprisingly enough she was having a great time. That is, until the last of the cast-iron serving dishes was finally pushed aside. Little more than discarded bones and smears of leftover sauce remained on their plates. Dropping his napkin on the table, Gabe leaned back to drape an arm over the back of a neighbouring chair.
“
So, Alice. What next?”
Alice's heart missed a beat. Not yet. Not so soon. She wasn't ready. Toying with her wine glass, she went for delaying tactics.
“
I don't understand.”
“
Dessert?”
His grin was infuriating.
“
I will if you will,” she retorted, as furious with herself as she was with him. Reaching for the menu, she concentrated on the selection.
The most frustrating part of the entire evening was that after two hours of attentive and amusing conversation, she still knew nothing about him. Zero. Nada. Other than the fact that he appeared to frequent a website extolling the delights of domination and submission, of course. But as for anything else? It seemed that despite her best efforts, he intended to remain an enigma.
“
What are you thinking?” he asked.
“
If you must know, it was about tonight, and how it hasn't quite turned out as I expected.”
“
No?”
She shook her head.
“
Disappointed?”
“
Far from it.”
“
Then we must do it again sometime.”
Clearly she'd not met his expectations; otherwise he'd have invited her back to continue the night in his bed, wouldn't he?
“
Why that website?” she said, turning her head a little to hold his gaze.
“
Why not?”
“
It might be considered a little unusual.”
“
Yet you were there.”
“
Does it represent who you are? Or what you believe in?” she pressed.
“
You would have to find that out for yourself.”
Alice's smile barely flickered. “Do you ever give a straight answer?”
“
Occasionally.” He leaned forward, placed his elbows on the table.
He was close enough to touch her, if he wanted.
And she wanted him to.
“
Perhaps I was looking for you.”
Alice knew if she wasn't careful she would drown in that gaze and never surface again.
“
It frightens me,” she admitted, and needing a distraction reached for the jam jar and candle and pulled it towards her.
“
What frightens you? The idea of relinquishing control?”
His voice was surprisingly gentle.
“
I guess.”
She was staring into the flame.
“
And yet here you are.”
“
Crazy, isn't it.”
Beckoning a passing waiter, Gabe wangled a pen and a business card from the restaurant.
“
This is my number,” he said, scribbling on the back of the card. “Call me. But,” he withdrew the offered card an inch or so, “if you do, then everything from that moment on will be on my terms.”
Suddenly the air was alive with tension. It buzzed and throbbed inside Alice's head. White noise cancelling out everything else.
But she was tired. Drained, even.
“
I'm not sure I'm that woman,” she said sadly, turning back to the candle flame.
“
Take a risk, Alice. Step into the unknown.”
He tucked the card into her hand.
T
he following day, Alice threw herself into her work, and in particular to producing the new set of variables requested by the operations team. That kept her busy until mid-afternoon, but from then on it was downhill, and for the first time in as long she could remember, she left the building ahead of five o'clock.
Things didn't get any better back at her apartment. Moriarty had chosen that very week to go adventuring and still hadn't returned. Not that she was worried, since he was a creature of habit, and once he'd tired of exploring dark corners, he'd be back and with the expectation of food. But she could have done with the distraction of having him around. Instead she was the one who prowled. Sipping her Shirazâthe very same one that should have been a prelude to a night of passion with Danielâshe went over to her favourite spot by the window and stared out. Then she went into the kitchen to open the fridge. She wasn't hungry, but had the shelves held anything for her to nibble on, she probably would have done so.
Shutting the door with a sigh, she leaned back on it. She wondered whether to sort through her laundry. Then she plonked down on the sofa, and after lifting a cushion or two, found the remote control and flicked through the extravagance of reality television shows, all of which left her cold, and the equal excess of third-rate crime shows. Even the documentary on an archaeological find that had the scientific world spinning couldn't hold her interest.
She stood up, went over to her desk, and picked up her mobile phone. And placed it back down again.
What had he said? If she called, after that it would all be on his terms.
She had no intention of letting himâor anyone else for that matterâcontrol her.
Picking up the phone again, she looked at the darkened screen. Of course, he might be out. Worse, he might be with someone else. Wasn't that what his lifestyle was all about? Men dictating when and where they would have sex, and women complying? He probably had a whole stable lined up and waiting.
Yet the idea didn't seem to sit with the little she knew about him, for in the restaurant he had come across as a fairly decent guy. And not only that, after walking her to the tube station and seeing her to the turnstile, he'd stood in front of her and tilted up her chin to place his lips on hers. It was a kiss like no otherâgentle, yet all consuming. As if he had already taken charge of her. He didn't embrace her, didn't pull her towards him. Only their lips touched.
And then it was over, and he was gone.
But wasn't the world full of women who'd been taken in by just such a first date?
Putting the mobile down once more, she turned and went into the kitchen to wash out her glass.
She really didn't need the hassle. Far better she found another Danielâsomeone who only made demands on her time.
Boring
, said the little voice.
Shut up
, she replied.
A
lice didn't find it easy to sleep. She tossed and turned, and dragged on the covers before pushing them away again. Even her pillow was given a pounding.
A little after midnight, she gave in.
“
Hi, it's Alice. You said to call.” She was trying to keep her tone light, hoping she didn't sound too cringe-worthy. “Is it too late to talk?”
“
No. Not too late at all.”
His voice sounded deeper than she recalled, and the words just a little bit slurred, leading her to guess she'd woken him.
“
I don't want to intrude.”
“
I'm alone, if that's what you mean.”
“
I'm sorry if I've caught you in bed. I just thought â¦.”
She heard a rustle and guessed he'd turned over, probably to lie on his back. He'd have adjusted the sheets, dragging them up and over his chest. Cool crisp cotton on warm skin. One arm would be crooked behind his head, the underside of the forearm pale, the bicep bulging and taut and drawing the eye down to the dark hollow of his armpit.
“
Can't sleep?” he asked.
“
No.”
“
Busy day?”
“
Yeah.”
“
Have you tried hot milk?”
“
You sound like someone's grandmother,” she laughed.
“
Nothing wrong with the old remedies.”
“
Mother knows best, and all that.”
She was quiet for a moment.
“
So how does it work?” she said eventually.
“
I take it you don't mean the hot milk.”
“
No.”
“
There's no instruction book, Alice. It's not a one size fits all scenario.”
“
So how do you know if it's what you want?”
“
You try it.”
“
And what if it's a terrible mistake?”
“
Then you walk away. Just like any other relationship.”
“
I'm still not convinced.”
“
You have to want it, to give it your all, or you will be setting yourself up to fail.”
“
Fail at what?”
“
Being a woman.”
Alice clenched her teeth. Okay, she might be coming around to the idea of bondage games, perhaps even a bit of light discipline if that was what turned him on, but not mind games.
“
I
am
a woman. Just not one prepared to let a man walk all over her,” she replied.
“
Sweet Alice. You are a woman, and a very desirable one. But you're also trying a little too hard to be a man.”
“
You're wrong.”
Was he?
her inner voice asked Wasn't she firmly on the path set out for her in high school? First-class grades, and then a degree in a field that would lead to even higher achievements and a six-figure income? Work hard, play hard, and rely only on yourself. That was her slogan. But was it enough anymore?
“
I'll call you some other time,” she said.
U
nusual for her, Alice was already ticking off the days until the weekend. Not that she had any plans, but she was becoming increasingly snappy and nitpicked not just her own work, but also that of others. She needed time out. Needed to get away and recharge her batteries.
In the meantime, though, it all came down to the fact she hadn't had a decent fuck in ages, and while she could always attend to herselfâand didâthere was nothing like a screaming, roaring, cock-induced orgasm to make her feel on top of the world. But other than Gabeâand he was discounted on principleâthere was an embarrassing lack of candidates.
It was just after nine in the evening, not too late. Maybe the time had come to take charge of the situation. After all, he did tick all the other boxes, so why not try and get a little closer and see if he came up with the goods? They were both adults, and it was not as if either of them was looking for a deep and meaningful relationship. And if in the end he really couldn't cope with her unwillingness to submit, well too bad.
“
Hi,” she said breezily when he picked up.
“
Hi yourself.”
“
Busy?”
“
No.”
Dropping down onto the sofa, she stretched out full length.
“
Look, I enjoyed the other night,” she said.
“
Me too.”
“
Want to do it again?”
Now he laughed. “You're asking me out on a date?”
“
I guess I am,” she said. “Does it go against your male sensibilities?”
“
Not at all. I'm flattered.”
“
In that caseâ”
“
Why don't you call a cab?” he interrupted.
“
Pardon?”
“
Call a cab. I'll give you the address.”
Well
, said the voice in her head.
So much for being in charge
.