Alice-Miranda at Sea (5 page)

B
ack on the
Octavia
, family and friends were catching up, nattering about this and that. There was still no sign of Jacinta's parents so Alice-Miranda asked her mother if it was all right for her and the other children to explore the ship. Hopefully they would come across them during their sightseeing.

‘You'll have to check with Aunty Gee, darling,' Cecelia replied. ‘It's her ship after all, and some places might be off-limits.'

Alice-Miranda found Aunty Gee chatting with her granny, Valentina Highton-Smith.

‘Hello Aunty Gee, hello Granny.' She executed a perfect curtsy.

‘There you are, darling girl,' Granny Valentina replied. ‘How are you enjoying the ship?'

‘It's wonderful,' Alice-Miranda beamed. ‘Aunty Gee, I've come to ask you a question.'

‘Yes, what is it, dear?' The older woman leaned forward. Tiny flecks of powder sat in the smile lines which had taken up permanent residence on Aunty Gee's face.

‘May we have a proper look around the ship, please?' Alice-Miranda gazed up with her brown eyes as big as saucers. ‘I promise we won't touch anything we shouldn't and we won't get in anyone's way.'

‘Aren't you just the most precious child for asking?' Aunty Gee beamed at Granny Valentina. ‘Of course, Alice-Miranda, you can explore wherever you like, my dear – perhaps except the engine room – I fear it might be a little dangerous down there. Otherwise, just make sure that you turn up on time for meals and the ship is yours for the whole voyage. And who are you going to do your sightseeing with?'

Alice-Miranda beckoned to the other children who were milling about behind Granny Bert and her beautiful granddaughter Daisy, who often helped Cecelia out at home.

‘Aunty Gee, do you remember my good friend, Millie?' Millie stepped forward and curtsied as awkwardly as she had the first time she'd met Aunty Gee at Highton Hall.

‘Dear, I'd remember that curtsy anywhere. You thought I was Mrs Oliver's sister,' Aunty Gee replied. ‘And look at dear Dolly over there today – it's no wonder you thought we were related. I'd say she's more my twin than anyone else on earth.'

Millie's paprika freckles looked like they'd just caught fire and she managed a small grin.

‘And this is my friend Jacinta Headlington-Bear,' Alice-Miranda urged Jacinta forward.

‘You're the gymnast, aren't you?' Aunty Gee asked.

Jacinta beamed, thrilled to be remembered.

‘And you know Lucas, Uncle Lawrence's son.' Lucas stepped forward. Aunty Gee held out her hand, which Lucas gently took in his, then bowed.

‘Oh, you little charmer. Just like your father.' Aunty Gee blushed.

‘And this is Sep Sykes. He's Lucas's room mate at Fayle,' Alice-Miranda said. Sep hung back a little until Millie gave him an enthusiastic shove forward, causing him to bump into Aunty Gee.

‘I am so sorry, Your Majesty.' Sep wanted to dissolve into the floor.

Aunty Gee waved her hand. ‘Oh don't be silly, lad. That's nothing compared to the treatment I get from those grandchildren of mine. Regard me like a hobby horse, climbing all over me, they do. It's lovely to meet you, Sep. Welcome aboard the
Octavia
.'

‘Alice-Miranda,' her mother called. ‘Are you going to take Annie and Poppy with you, too?'

‘I haven't seen them,' Alice-Miranda replied.

‘Oh, I know where they are, dear,' Granny Valentina piped up. ‘I saw Lady Sarah and Lord Robert taking the girls to their suite. You know Sarah suffers terribly with seasickness. It's awfully strange – poor girl turns green on arrival – I've seen it before. But after a day or so she seems to get her sea legs and she's fine. Robert mentioned that the youngsters were feeling peaky too so it must be in the genes.'

‘Oh,' Alice-Miranda frowned. ‘I hope they feel better soon.'

‘Well, off you go,' Aunty Gee waved. ‘Have a wonderful time and don't take any nonsense from the crew. They're a scurrilous lot.' She winked at Admiral Harding who was within earshot talking to Hugh and Lawrence.

Alice-Miranda, Millie, Jacinta, Lucas and Sep gathered together in the corner of the deck.

‘Where will we go first?' Lucas asked the group.

‘Maybe Admiral Harding will have a plan of the ship we can borrow,' Sep suggested.

‘It's much more fun exploring without one,' Millie replied. ‘Besides, the
Octavia
's not that huge, is she?'

‘No,' Alice-Miranda agreed. ‘Mummy said that the
Octavia
is not nearly as big as some of the other liners. I think there's accommodation for around 300 guests with another 250 crew.'

Sep raised his eyebrows. ‘Still, it's not exactly a row boat.'

Built just on thirty years ago, to exacting standards, the Royal Yacht
Octavia
was a sublime example of the best quality craftsmanship, from her polished decks to the maple wood panelling that lined the inside passageways. A recent refurbishment had ensured that she was still state-of-the-art. There was a main dining room and two smaller areas for more casual eating, an oak-panelled library with crystal chandeliers and a stunning drawing room, complete with grand piano, comfy couches and a cabinet full of glittering jewelled Fabergé eggs – apparently a gift from the last Tsar of Russia to Aunty Gee's grandmother many years ago. The grandest room on the ship was the ballroom, which could accommodate all 300 guests and had an enormous dance floor. This would play host to several events on the voyage, including a Bollywood theme night and a pre-wedding formal dinner and, of course, the wedding itself, which would take place on the last night of the cruise.

On the upper decks there were opulent apartment-like suites, with an entrance hall, sitting room, bedroom, full bathroom and a balcony, while the suites on the lower levels were slightly smaller and not quite as luxurious.

‘Is there a pool?' Jacinta asked.

‘I think so,' Alice-Miranda nodded. ‘Mummy said it was on the upper deck and it's fully enclosed with glass – so we can still swim if the weather turns.'

‘I expect that's where I'm most likely to find my mother,' Jacinta decided.

‘Well, come on, let's go and see.' And with that Millie led the charge up a narrow flight of stairs.

A
n hour later the children were quite lost. They'd seen the upper and middle decks, found the pool but not Jacinta's mother, and now downstairs was proving more of a labyrinth than they'd imagined.

‘I wonder what's through there?' said Alice-Miranda. The children pushed open an ornate set of double doors and emerged into the most splendid ballroom. It was encased in highly polished burr walnut panelling, with a vast parquetry floor, and sparkling chandeliers. Alice-Miranda found herself imagining what it would look like for Aunt Charlotte and Lawrence's wedding.

‘Wow, this is some room,' Lucas marvelled. In the far corner a man with a gravity-defying brown afro hairstyle emerged from a side storeroom, carrying a music stand in each hand.

Alice-Miranda led her friends towards him. The man was humming to himself and seemed unaware of their approach. As they drew closer Alice-Miranda could hear tinny music as well as the humming and realised that underneath all that hair the man must have been wearing earphones.

‘Excuse me. Hello.' She tapped him on the arm. The man leapt sideways, startled by the ambush. He dropped the two stands, which clattered to the floor.

‘You scared me half to death,' he breathed, pulling the earphones from his ears and switching off his player. ‘What did you do that for?'

‘I'm terribly sorry, sir. I didn't mean to alarm you. My name's Alice-Miranda Highton-Smith- Kennington-Jones and I'm very pleased to meet you.' She held out her hand.

‘Well, I couldn't say the same. What are you doing in here?' the man asked as he stared at Alice-Miranda and her friends, ignoring her outstretched hand.

‘Well, we've been exploring all over the ship and now we're a little bit lost. These are my friends Millie and Jacinta and Lucas and Septimus, but you can call him Sep.'

The man frowned. ‘Well there's nothing for you to see in here. Just a big empty ballroom, that's all.'

‘Do you have a name, sir?' Alice-Miranda asked.

‘Of course.' He stared at her. ‘It's Alex. Now you'd better run along. Don't want your parents to worry, do you?'

‘Oh, they're not worried at all. And we checked with Aunty Gee and she said that we could go exploring anywhere we liked,' Alice-Miranda replied.

‘Really?' he glowered.

‘What's through there?' Millie asked, pointing at the doorway from which the man had emerged.

‘Just a storeroom,' Alex answered.

‘Do you need a hand?' Lucas asked, looking at the music stands.

‘Are you setting up for the band?' said Alice-Miranda. ‘We could help you.'

‘Yes, for rehearsal, but I don't need any help. The others will be along soon.' Alex wasn't used to children and he didn't appreciate the persistence of this lot.

‘Are you
in
the band with Mr Morrison?' Alice-Miranda asked. ‘What do you play?'

The man gave a half-nod and said, ‘Saxophone.'

‘I love the saxophone. It's got such a smooth sound,' Alice-Miranda smiled.

‘Can we have a look in there?' Millie asked, already making her way towards the storeroom.

Before Alex had time to protest, Millie called out to her friends, ‘You should see this. There are so many instruments. This must be an enormous band.'

The children charged over to see what Millie was marvelling at.

‘I used to play the trumpet,' said Lucas, picking up a somewhat tatty leather case with a smiley face sticker on the side.

‘Put that down,' Alex demanded.

‘I was just going to have a look,' Lucas replied. ‘I wouldn't play it.'

‘No, you certainly will not! Put it down. Nobody's allowed to touch that case,' he snapped.

‘Okay, keep your hair on,' Lucas whispered as he placed the case back on the ground next to the forty or so others of various shapes and sizes.

Jacinta giggled.

‘Well, it's been nice to meet you, Mr Alex. I can't wait to see you in the band,' Alice-Miranda smiled.

‘The door's that way.' Alex pointed. His face was stony and his eyes had taken on a rather dark hue.

‘Come on,' Sep said. ‘Let's leave the man to do his work.'

‘Goodbye, Mr Alex,' said Alice-Miranda with a final smile before she skipped after her friends, who were already halfway out the door.

‘What is it with people on this ship?' Jacinta griped when the children were on the other side of the door.

‘What do you mean?' Alice-Miranda asked.

‘Well, Alex didn't exactly seem pleased to see us and I think Mr Winterstone hates us. And they've both got weird hair.'

‘That's silly. I'm sure Mr Alex was just busy and Mr Winterstone is perfectly lovely. I don't think many children come on board the
Octavia
. Maybe the staff just aren't used to having kids around,' Alice-Miranda said.

The children had exited the ballroom through a different door from the one they had gone in and found themselves in yet another unfamiliar passageway.

‘What do you think's through there?' Millie pointed at a door she hoped would lead them back upstairs.

‘Who knows? But there's no harm in looking.' Alice-Miranda led the group through the heavy metal door. A delicious smell wafted in the air, teasing the group's grumbling stomachs.

‘I think we must be somewhere near the kitchen,' said Jacinta.

‘Genius.' Lucas rolled his eyes. Jacinta thumped him gently on the arm in response.

‘Well, who's hungry?' Alice-Miranda asked. ‘Maybe we can get something to eat.'

The children followed a passageway lined on either side with giant refrigerators.

A young man with glassy eyes appeared from inside one of the cool rooms, carrying a box of lettuce. He didn't speak but pushed his way past the children through a clear plastic flap at the end of the corridor. The children could see into a galley kitchen, where several men were handling large knives and one appeared to be using a blowtorch.

‘It looks a bit crazy in there,' said Sep. He didn't like the thought of interrupting the chefs while they were busy
and
armed.

‘Kitchens are always like that,' Alice-Miranda reassured him. ‘We can just say hello and then perhaps someone can help us find our way back upstairs again.'

Alice-Miranda poked her head around the plastic flap. ‘Hello,' she called. But no one paid her the slightest bit of attention. She pushed her way into the kitchen and motioned for her friends to follow.

Once inside, the children could see they were standing in a narrow passageway adjacent to the main part of the kitchen. Two men were furiously chopping rhubarb while another, the one with the blowtorch, was putting the finishing touches to some crème brûlées.

The children might as well have been invisible.

‘These guys are really focused.' Lucas looked around and wondered for a moment if the chefs were actually human.

‘Yes. Are you sure they're not robots?' Jacinta giggled.

‘Mind reader.' Lucas grinned – and Jacinta melted.

Further along, the passageway opened up into a full commercial kitchen – enormous by any standards and at least twice the size of Mrs Smith's space at Winchesterfield-Downsfordvale.

Alice-Miranda counted over twenty men, resplendent in their white uniforms and mushroom-shaped hats, all busily chopping and braising and whipping – apparently oblivious to their presence. It was a strange scene indeed. Alice-Miranda had been a guest in many a large kitchen in her seven and three-quarter years, but never had she seen anything quite like this.

She had a strange feeling about this place – and Alice-Miranda was usually right about her strange feelings. Something wasn't right. There was no noise, other than the sound of utensils.

‘You need to go,' a tiny voice whispered. Alice-Miranda looked around to see who had spoken.

‘Hello.' She smiled at a young man who was chopping onions. ‘My name is Alice-Miranda Highton-Smith-Kennington-Jones and I'm very pleased to meet you'

The chef looked at her and shook his head ever so slightly. ‘Miss, you must go – and take your friends with you,' he spoke through gritted teeth.

Alice-Miranda glanced around the room. There didn't seem to be anyone in charge, which she thought very strange. There was always a head chef. They were often renowned for their bad tempers, but Alice-Miranda had met enough of them to know that they were mostly pussycats outside the kitchen. After all, she reasoned, cooking for hundreds of guests was probably about one of the most stressful jobs anyone could have.

‘Alice-Miranda, maybe we
should
just leave?' Millie suggested. She noticed that the longer they stayed, the redder the faces on the chefs became, as though the children's mere presence was raising the temperature in the room.

‘It's all right,' Alice-Miranda assured her friend. She turned to address the young chef who was still chopping onions. ‘Excuse me, sir, can you tell us who is in charge?'

The man sniffed. Moisture which had dammed in the corners of his eyes spilled over, streaming down his tanned cheeks.

‘Are you all right?' She reached into her pocket and handed him a clean tissue.

He motioned at the onions on the bench.

‘Oh, of course,' Alice-Miranda smiled. ‘I don't like chopping onions either. Mrs Oliver is working on a “no tears” variety at the moment but I don't know if she's made much progress yet.'

‘Come on, let's get out of here,' Lucas directed.

All at once there was a whooshing noise, like an approaching freight train. The chefs, already working at a rate of knots, seemed to flick their speed dials to ‘overdrive'.

Into the kitchen blew a tornado, through which a veritable giant emerged. At least six feet five inches tall, with shoulders the width of a doorway, a chiselled jaw, jet-black hair and eyes that looked like they could pierce steel, he surveyed the activity in front of him and proceeded to explode.

‘What iz that?' the titan roared at one young fellow who was whipping cream. His forefinger, the size of a pork sausage, plunged into the vat of frothy white liquid and flew back into his open mouth. ‘That . . . iz contaminated.' He picked up the bowl and promptly upended it on the young man's head.

He moved along the line. ‘And what are those?' he growled. The chef gulped. ‘Well? Tell me!' the giant commanded.

‘Prawns, chef,' the young man squeaked as he stared at a tub full of plump orange crustaceans.

‘Who bring prawns on board ship? I have list of banned foods. The Queen Georgiana iz allergic to all shellfish and crustaceans. You want me to kill Queen? Do you? Do you?' he demanded.

‘No, chef,' the young man trembled.

‘Well, take them and throw them overboard!'

By now Millie, Jacinta, Lucas and Sep had inched backwards around the corner into the narrow passageway where they were willing themselves to be invisible. Only Alice-Miranda stayed put.

The tyrant paced among the cooks, who had begun to resemble a row of trembling jellies.

‘That fish . . .' he roared, then picked up a large boning knife, plunging it into the chopping board and just missing the creature's head . . . ‘iz dead!'

‘Thank goodness for that,' Lucas smirked. The other children giggled.

‘What waz that?' the giant bellowed. ‘Who iz in my kitchen?'

‘Isn't that line from a fairytale?' Millie whispered.

‘Yes – and didn't those kids end up in an oven?' Sep gulped.

Alice-Miranda strode towards the colossus. ‘Hello, my name is Alice-Miranda Highton-Smith-Kennington-Jones and I'm very pleased to meet you.'

‘She's done for.' Lucas covered his eyes as his cousin-to-be reached out her tiny hand.

‘Who said that?' the giant replied.

‘Me, sir. Down here. You see, you're ever so tall and I'm really quite tiny so it would help if you looked down,' Alice-Miranda suggested.

The giant lowered his eyes. He raised his left paw to his forehead.

‘Oh no! He's going to crush her,' Millie squeaked.

Then he ran his fingers slowly through his hair.

‘What you doing in my kitchen?' he demanded.

‘Aunty Gee gave us permission to have a look around the ship and, well, we got a little bit lost and that's when we found the kitchen. Do you know from out in that corridor it smells like roasting meat and baking potatoes and the best of Mrs Oliver's cakes all rolled into one? My stomach almost did a backflip. I'm rather hungry after all our exploring. But I must say, sir, you have the quietest kitchen I've ever been in. Your chefs are very attentive.'

‘Aunty Gee, you zay she gave you run of ship. Who is Gee?' He looked perplexed.

‘Oh, you probably know her as Queen Georgiana. But I call her Aunty Gee. She's Mummy's and Aunt Charlotte's godmother and my Granny Valentina's best friend since nursery school,' Alice-Miranda explained.