Alice-Miranda at the Palace 11 (16 page)

‘Right, where shall we go first?' Mrs Marmalade asked as the children finished their breakfasts.

‘Why don't we just wander along the corridor and see where we end up?' Alice-Miranda suggested.

The rest of the children nodded.

Marian Marmalade pinched her nose. ‘That sounds a little … haphazard,' she said.

‘Oh, Mrs Marmalade –' Lucas walked up to the woman and offered her his arm – ‘half the fun is not knowing where you might end up.'

The old woman felt a tickly buzz in the corner of her lips. ‘Well, if you say so.'

Lucas turned and winked at his friends behind him.

Jacinta rolled her eyes and the girls giggled.

Marjorie Plunkett sat down opposite Thornton Thripp in Her Majesty's private study. ‘We've received another letter,' she said, holding up a plastic sleeve.

‘Are you any closer to finding out who's responsible?' Her Majesty asked as she pulled a pair of white gloves from the top of her desk drawer and put them on.

‘We may have a DNA sample from one of the envelopes,' Marjorie replied.

‘What?' Thornton raised his eyebrows.

Marjorie shook her head. ‘I'd rather not say more until we've had time to run some further tests.'

‘I don't believe there's any reason to withhold information from Her Majesty,' Thornton bristled.

‘Quite honestly, I would prefer not to speculate,'
Marjorie replied with a sharp edge to her voice. ‘It's not helpful.'

‘Agreed.' Queen Georgiana pulled the letter from the sleeve, laying it on the table. She looked at the note. A deep furrow of lines crisscrossed her forehead. ‘What's this nonsense?'

Her Majesty frowned. ‘Well, for one thing, they can't spell, and thank heavens they've stopped that ridiculous rhyming nonsense.'

‘Yes,' Marjorie said, pursing her lips. ‘At least there's no reference to Alice-Miranda this time.'

‘What do you think, Thripp?' The Queen looked at her chief advisor.

‘Perhaps it's Freddy.' The man's eyes widened. ‘He's keen to get rid of you, isn't he? “Time to hand over the reigns” sounds like a play on words. Silver could be a reference to your silver jubilee.'

‘That's preposterous,' Marjorie retorted.

Queen Georgiana glared. ‘I know my son is a lot of things, Thripp, but I doubt he would go to these
lengths to get me to relinquish the crown. He may be a buffoon but he's a good-hearted one. And, despite my misgivings, I know he will make a suitable king one day.'

Thripp's eye twitched. ‘Yes, of course, Ma'am.'

Marjorie Plunkett clasped her hands together. ‘I'm confident we'll find the perpetrator very soon.'

‘Really?' Thornton said. His eye seemed even twitchier.

‘Everyone makes mistakes, and I'm sure whoever is responsible for the letters will trip up sooner or later,' Marjorie said.

Thornton nodded. ‘We can only hope.'

‘On a related topic, what are you doing today, Thripp?' Queen Georgiana asked. ‘I thought you could help me entertain the children for a while.'

Thornton hesitated. ‘I really don't have time …' he began.

The Queen arched an eyebrow. ‘We've just had the jubilee, and as far as I know there's nothing too pressing on your plate at the moment.'

Thornton's shoulders slumped. He knew when he was defeated.

‘Wonderful! Let's find Mrs Marmalade and the children.' Her Majesty pushed her chair out and
stood up. The others were quickly on their feet too. ‘Goodbye, Marjorie, and thank you for taking the lead on this – I wouldn't want anyone other than the Chief of SPLOD in charge of the investigation. Come along, Thornton.'

The man followed Her Majesty out of the room.

Marjorie Plunkett returned the letter to its plastic sleeve and slipped it down the side of her oversized handbag. She noticed the face of her watch light up and pressed the button on the side to answer. ‘What do you have for me, Fi?'

‘Good morning, ma'am. I've run those tests you asked for,' Fiona replied.

‘And?' Marjorie hoped this was the breakthrough they were looking for. Fi had been confident that there were traces of saliva on the last envelope.

‘Nothing, ma'am,' Fi replied.

‘Nothing! Are you sure?' Marjorie's earpiece exploded with the harsh crackling of static. The woman's eyes crossed and she almost leapt out of her skin. ‘What on earth was that?' Marjorie demanded.

The line went dead.

Marjorie frowned. Nothing like that had ever happened before, and she didn't have a good feeling
about it. She needed to get back to headquarters as quickly as she could.

The children and Mrs Marmalade wound their way through several rooms, ogling the incredible architecture and opulent furnishings. To Sep's great delight, the boy had located a first edition of Charles Dickens's
A Christmas Carol
in the library, and Mrs Marmalade had found the lad a pair of gloves so that he could examine the book more closely. The rest of the children had taken turns pushing each other on the giant ladder that snaked around the bookshelves on rails.

Upon leaving the library, the group found themselves in an enormous gallery that showcased the best artists of every generation. There was barely a space between each painting.

‘How many artworks does Her Majesty own?' Lucas asked as he admired a stunning Monet.

‘I believe there are about one hundred and fifty thousand pieces in the royal collection. Paintings, sculptures and the like,' Mrs Marmalade replied. She was quite enjoying her role as tour guide. ‘Not just here, of course.'

‘That's amazing,' Sloane gasped.

‘Greedy, more like it,' Caprice muttered.

Sloane glared at the girl.

The children followed Mrs Marmalade through the gallery and into a vast sitting room where there were at least four separate areas laid out with couches as well as funny little love seats, a grand piano and a sideboard that took up the length of one wall. The rich gold wallpaper lit up the room and a glittering chandelier dominated the panelled ceiling.

‘Everything is so gorgeous,' Jacinta said as she twirled into the room. ‘Does Aunty Gee own any ugly furniture?'

Mrs Marmalade thought for a moment then smiled. ‘Yes, there have been more than a few pieces relegated to the attics over the years.'

‘Attics!' Millie's eyes bulged. ‘Can we go up there?'

There was a murmur of agreement from all of the children. Suddenly, claws skittered on the floor-boards as Archie and Petunia raced into the room ahead of their mistress.

‘Did I hear you ask whether you can see the attics, Millie?' Her Majesty asked.

The child nodded.

‘I don't see why not.' Queen Georgiana bustled over to the children with Thornton Thripp behind her.

The man stiffened. ‘There are far more interesting things to look at than those dusty rooms full of household detritus,' Thornton said.

‘Come now, Thripp, I haven't been up there in years – and they were one of my favourite places to explore as a child. There's a whole room full of clothes too! I'd almost forgotten about them but I used to love trying things on and parading around the palace.'

‘Could we play dress-ups, Aunty Gee?' Alice-Miranda asked excitedly.

The woman reached out and took Alice-Miranda by the hand. ‘Yes, let's!' she said with a grin.

The children followed Alice-Miranda and Queen Georgiana out of the sitting room and down a long corridor. They soon arrived in the front entrance hall, where they climbed the stairs and Aunty Gee led the children to the right, down another long hall.

‘Here we are,' Queen Georgiana announced, coming to a stop in front of an ornate wall. There were birds of all descriptions carved into the timber, from tiny blue jays and wrens, to owls and other birds of prey.

‘Is it a secret passage?' Jacinta whispered to Alice-Miranda, her eyes wide.

Aunty Gee reached out and poked a peacock in the eye. There was a loud click and the wall pivoted.

‘Cool!' Millie exclaimed.

Even Caprice seemed impressed.

Queen Georgiana reached inside and flicked a switch. A dim glow lit the space. The group followed Her Majesty up a narrow staircase to another
landing, where there was a narrow passageway with doors leading off on either side.

‘In the early days, before the servants' quarters were extended and incorporated downstairs, these rooms used to be bedrooms,' the Queen explained. ‘But they've been receptacles for all manner of cast-offs since I was a girl.'

Her Majesty pushed open the first door on the left and poked her head inside.

‘Come and have a look,' she said, beckoning the children to join her.

‘What's all this?' Jacinta breathed. Her eyes tried to take in all the shelves weighed down by ancient relics.

Lucas picked up a metal helmet and jammed it on his head. ‘Ow! That's uncomfortable.'

‘There's some chain mail and armour in the dress-up room, Lucas. Would you like to see yourself as a knight?' Aunty Gee asked.

‘A knight in shining armour.' The words were out of Jacinta's mouth before she had time to stop them. The girl's cheeks lit up in embarrassment.

Caprice rolled her eyes. ‘Gross.'

The other kids giggled and so did Aunty Gee.

‘Jacinta,' Her Majesty whispered, ‘I knew I was
going to marry my Leopold when we were children. I suppose you just have to hope that Lucas feels the same way when you're old enough.'

From the other side of the room, the boy turned and smiled, and Jacinta's heart fluttered.

In one corner, a full suit of armour stood guard over a horde of weaponry. There were swords and axes and several long chains with spiky metal balls on the end.

Millie pointed at the instrument of torture. ‘What's that horrible thing called?'

‘It's a flail,' Aunty Gee replied. ‘Said to be the most ghastly ancient weapon of war.'

Millie picked it up and struggled under its weight. ‘I can see why. Imagine getting this stuck in your head.'

‘Be careful, dear. You don't want to catch yourself on one of those spikes,' Mrs Marmalade warned.

‘Where did it all come from?' Sep asked.

‘It's been here for as long as I can remember,' Her Majesty replied, running her hands along a row of handmade arrows. ‘My father told me that it was dug up on a battlefield not far from here. The best preserved pieces went to the museum but there was so much of it a whole stack ended up at the palace.
There's never enough room to display everything, and I suspect that the country might be a little bit cross with me if I just had a jumble sale to get rid of it all. It belongs to everyone, really.'

The children spent a few more minutes investigating the gruesome cache before Queen Georgiana suggested they move on and have a look in some of the other rooms.

‘Where's Thripp?' Her Majesty asked as they walked back into the hallway.

‘He dashed off a few moments ago saying something about an urgent phone call,' Mrs Marmalade replied.

Her Majesty shook her head. ‘That man really does need to learn to loosen up a bit.'