Aliens for Breakfast (5 page)

“Dorf! What are you doing?” cried Henry.

Dorf ignored him. His eyes turned bright purple. “More!” he gasped. He poured pepper flakes down his throat. “More!” The snaps on his cowboy shirt popped open. His chest was bright red. It started to steam. Henry jumped away. So did Richard. Now Dorf’s eyes were bulging. He finished off the box and his skin went from red to purple. Then his hair started burning. It smelled horrible.

“Yikes!” said Richard. He grabbed Henry. They backed away toward the door.

Dorf began bubbling and popping. His clothes fell to the floor in a smoking heap. He stopped looking like a boy and started to look like a blob of live Silly Putty. Then he sprouted tentacles. There were dozens of them. They thrashed on the floor, making a loud hissing noise.

Richard felt something on his neck. He jumped. It was only Aric. He had climbed on Richard’s shoulder to watch.

A horrible cry filled the bathroom. “You got me!” screamed Dorf. “Two more hours, and I would have started dividing. My clones would
have been all over your planet like ants on a candy bar! And then all you pathetic Earthlings would have been our slaves!” His tentacles flopped on the white floor.

“I hate to lose!” Dorf wailed at Richard. “I hope you flunk math and history. I hope you fail science and art and social studies and English and gym!”

Then he blew up.

8
.

It had been a great day. Dorf was gone. Earth was saved. Richard had stopped melting. And he and Henry were friends again. In fact, now that Dorf was gone, everyone in Richard’s class seemed a little friendlier. Richard didn’t know why. It sure wasn’t because anyone knew he’d saved the world.

The amazing thing was that no one even remembered Dorf anymore. Except for Henry. He was coming over later to spend the night. Richard planned to tell him all about the Dranes then.

The only bad thing about the day was that Aric was leaving.

“Can’t you stick around for a while and hang out at the mall?” asked Richard. School was over, and he and Aric were back home. In a few minutes the Interspace Brigade was going to beam Aric back to Ganoob. He was leaving from the same place where he had landed—the Bickerstaff kitchen table.

“Sorry, the universe calls. Those Dranes never sleep,” said Aric. “By the way, if you ever want to join the Brigade, just let me know.”

“Would I get to fly around at light speed and blast monsters?” asked Richard. “Or wear a shiny red-and-blue uniform?”

“Mostly you have to travel fourth class in things like cereal boxes. And they make you wear baggy overalls, to blend in,” sighed Aric.

“Oh,” said Richard. That sounded almost as bad as school.

“The work is okay, though,” added Aric. “Every now and then you run into a really brave freedom fighter. Someone who risks his life to save the world. That is truly satisfying.”

It sounded like Aric was paying him a compliment. But Richard wasn’t sure. “You mean me?” he asked.

“Absolutely.”

“Wow. Thanks.” He blushed. Then he asked, “Will I ever see you again?”

“Usually we do not go to a planet unless it is under attack,” said Aric. “But sometimes we can work in a short stopover.”

“That would be great! We could go to Mutant Splendor. And Pizza World. Just like old times.”

“I would like that,” said Aric. “And if you are ever near Ganoob, drop in. You would love Ingbar. Even if she is a girl Ganoobian.”

Richard’s heart sank. He knew he could never visit Ganoob. It was hard enough visiting his grandmother in California. But he managed to smile. “Sounds good. I’ll try. Meanwhile, maybe you could send me a postcard sometime?”

“Maybe. Or maybe I will send you something else.” By now Aric was standing on the salt shaker waiting for the Ganoobian transport beam. Suddenly he began to fade like a TV picture in a thunderstorm. “Goodbye,
Richard. Thank you.” He waved.

“ ’Bye, Aric. I’ll miss you,” said Richard. Then the alien was gone, and Richard started to cry.

The next morning Richard woke up suddenly. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. Henry opened his eyes at the same moment. He sat up too.

“Wow, Richard,” he said. “I just had the most amazing dream. I don’t know if it was all that stuff you told me about Aric, or what. But I dreamed I saw all these funny little pink creatures. They were bouncing up and down together in a big circle.”

“Me too!” said Richard. “I had the same dream! Did you see two of them, sort of floating in the middle of the circle? Looking really,
really
happy?”

“Yeah. I wonder what was going on?” Henry yawned and got out of bed. He started to get dressed just as Mrs. Bickerstaff knocked on the door. “Rise and shine, boys!” she called. “Time to get up.”

“I bet I know,” said Richard. “I think it was
Aric’s homecoming. And that was Ingbar with him in the circle.” He smiled. “They sure looked like they were having a great time.”

Richard opened his closet door. There on the floor was a brand-new black satin baseball jacket. On its back, in big gold letters, were the words “Interspace Brigade.”

Richard picked it up and put it on. It was
really
cool. There was a note in one of the pockets.

“Thanks again,” it said. “Wear this and have a pizza for me! See you, Aric.”

J
ONATHAN
E
TRA
was a humorist, playwright, and journalist, as well as a children’s book author. He lived in New York City until his untimely death in 1991.

S
TEPHANIE
S
PINNER
is a children’s book editor and writer. She lives in New York City and has always wanted to go to Ganoob.

S
TEVE
B
JÖRKMAN
is an illustrator whose work often appears in magazines. He notes, “I have been drawing ever since I was a kid. I was often reprimanded for doodling in class and now find it a great relief to do a drawing without having to hide it from the teacher.” Steve Björkman lives in Irvine, California.