Read Alistair Grim's Odditorium Online

Authors: Gregory Funaro

Tags: #Juvenile Fiction, #Fantasy & Magic, #Action & Adventure, #General, #Science & Technology

Alistair Grim's Odditorium (34 page)

BOOK: Alistair Grim's Odditorium
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“Pshaw. That’s what family’s for, and you’re part of our family now, aren’t you?”

I looked down at my shoes.

“What is it, Grubb?”

“Begging your pardon, miss, but it’s not my place to talk to you about it.”

“Why not? If you can’t tell your family things, to whom can you tell them?”

“I suppose you’re right, miss.”

“Well, then?”

“Well, miss. While you were stuck in that sphere, Prince Nightshade told me about Mr. Grim and Elizabeth O’Grady.”

“Oh,” Cleona said, looking away. “I see.”

“Then it’s true what the prince said? Mr. Grim built the Odditorium to travel to the Land of the Dead and bring back her spirit?”

“Yes,” Cleona said quietly. “I’m afraid it is.”

“And you agreed to help him, miss?”

“Well, of course. After all, he helped me, didn’t he?”

“Helped
you
, miss?”

“Yes, Grubb. Although we banshees can foretell the death of a person to whom we’re attached, we cannot tell exactly how or when it will happen. And even if we could, supernatural law
dictates that we are not allowed to interfere. If we do, we are doomed to walk the earth in anguish for eternity, and without a family to whom we may attach ourselves. Have you ever heard the wind
wail on a dark and stormy night?”

“Yes, I have.”

“Those are the cries of banshees who have broken our sacred law of noninterference.”

“Good heavens,” I said, swallowing hard. “So—if I’m following you correctly, miss—are you saying you tried to interfere with the death of Elizabeth
O’Grady?”

“I tried, yes. I was still a novice back then, and had only recently been attached to her family. And when I started wailing, I didn’t even know which of the O’Gradys it was
for until I saw Elizabeth standing atop that cliff. It was impetuous of me, I know, but before I could think twice about it, I dove into the water after her.”

“You mean, she threw herself from the cliff?”

“Threw herself from the cliff and drowned.”

“But the sea—you can’t fly over water.”

“Not for long, no. And struggle as I did, I could not save her before I had to go back to land. But, you see, even though I failed, the fact that I tried to save Elizabeth from drowning
was enough for the banshee elders to cast me out. And so there I was, roaming the earth in anguish, until Alistair Grim saved me.”

“How did he save you?”

“He found my silver comb.”

“Your comb?”

“All banshees have hair like mine, and so they always carry a silver comb tucked in their robes. I lost my comb when I tried to save Elizabeth, and Uncle later discovered it snagged in her
petticoats. Most people would have thought it just a silver comb, but not Alistair Grim. He knew the legend of the O’Grady banshees, and concluded that the comb must belong to one of
them.”

“But how did Mr. Grim save you from your banishment?”

Cleona smiling knowingly. “Alistair Grim: inventor, fortune hunter…and some say, mad sorcerer.”

“You mean he used his magic, don’t you.”

“That’s right, Grubb. He used my comb and a magical spell to draw me out of banishment and attach me to his family. You see, back then, there was no Odditorium. But still, I thought
the least I could do was help him bring back Elizabeth.”

“From the Land of the Dead, you mean?”

“It didn’t start out that way,” Cleona said. “About ten years ago, Uncle originally built a machine to transfer my spirit energy into a dead body—Nigel was his
first successful experiment with that. But Elizabeth O’Grady had been dead for two years at that point. And when Uncle realized she wouldn’t come back to him as she was in life, he
built the Odditorium so that her spirit could live with him here.”

“The magic paint. If he took Elizabeth someplace that wasn’t protected, the doom dogs would snatch her spirit back to the Land of the Dead.”

“That’s right, Grubb.”

“But why did Elizabeth run away from Mr. Grim in the first place?”

“I don’t know. Uncle never told me. However, everything he has done here at the Odditorium has been out of love for her. After all, love is the most powerful Odditoria of them all,
is it not?”

“I suppose it is, miss.”

“Grubb?” Nigel called from somewhere. “Are you still there, Grubb?”

I gazed round, and Cleona pointed to the talkback beside the door.

“Yes, Nigel,” I said, flicking the switch. “I’m here.”

“On your way down, would you mind seeing what’s keeping the boss? He won’t answer on the talkback, and Mrs. Pinch is growing impatient.”

“Yes, Nigel. I’m on my way now.”

I flicked off the talkback and turned back to Cleona. “Thank you for telling me all this, miss.”

“You’re welcome, Grubb. As far as I’m concerned, there shall be no secrets between us. Agreed?”

“Agreed, miss.”

“However,” Cleona said, smiling, “I can’t promise there shall be no tricks.”

“Neither can I, miss,” I said, smiling back. “Which is why, being Mr. Grim’s apprentice, I think it best not to tell you where your comb is at present.”

“You mean, you know where Uncle hid it?” Cleona asked, amazed.

“Maybe I do and maybe I don’t. Either way, I should think the trick’s on
you,
miss.”

“Why, you little—!” Cleona cried, but I didn’t hang around to hear the rest. I dashed laughing from the room and down the hall, bounded down the spiral staircase and
through the parlor, and came to a stop in the library doorway.

The wall behind Mr. Grim’s desk was still open, so I had a clear view of him out on the balcony. He stood with his back to me, shoulders hunched, his head tilted down as if he were looking
at something on his pipe organ.

“Mr. Grim?” I called tentatively.

But he did not respond.

As I approached him, all the questions that I’d never dare ask flooded my head at once. However, as I stepped out onto the balcony, I became aware of a bright light flashing up at Mr.
Grim’s face.

“Mr. Grim?” I called again.

He stiffened and lifted his head. And as he slowly turned, I spied the Lady in Black’s mirror in his hand. The glass was no longer dark, but fizzled and popped in a kaleidoscope of
swirling colors.

My eyes grew wide and my mouth fell open—when suddenly the mirror crackled and flashed, and in its glass I saw my own face staring back at me.

“What an odd mirror,” my reflection said, my voice hollow and distorted. “I should think the Lady in Black would have a hard time seeing herself.”

I heard Cleona giggle and saw myself spin around, and all at once I understood what I was witnessing. The mirror was somehow playing back the moment when I first discovered it in the library.
And just as I saw myself setting the mirror down on its box, the scene dissolved and the glass grew dark again.

I gazed up at Mr. Grim in disbelief, and imagine my surprise to find him weeping.

“It is you,” was all he said. “It is you.”

T
he odd was the ordinary at Alistair Grim’s. And so, I suppose it’s only natural that a lowly chimney sweep like yours truly should
wind up being the secret son of a distinguished inventor, fortune hunter, and purveyor of antiquities—not to mention a master sorcerer.

Indeed, Mr. Grim—begging your pardon,
my father
—welcomed me as his son with open arms. We had a lot of catching up to do, he said, but as is so often the case when on an
adventure, there was little time to get all gobby eyed about it.

Yes, I’m afraid there were many more secrets to be revealed in the days to come, not the least of which had to do with the Lady in Black’s mirror, the return of an old friend, and
the quest for more Odditoria.

And yet, if the word
Odditoria
, at once both singular and plural, is used to classify any object living, inanimate, or otherwise that is believed to possess magical powers, perhaps the
greatest secret I learned back then is that love truly is the most powerful Odditoria of them all.

You’ll have to take my word on that for now.

And who am I that you should do so?

Why I’m Grubb Grim, of course. Spelled like a worm that’s unhappy, but with a double
b
. However, as I’m sure you’ve guessed, I was anything
but
unhappy back
then. Come to think of it, I wouldn’t have traded my new life at the Odditorium for all the gold in the Lady of the Lake’s castle.

Good heavens! There I go getting ahead of myself again.

My apologies, but I’m afraid you’ll have to take my word on all that Lady of the Lake business too. At least for now. Father is calling. Time for my organ lesson, you see.

After all, if one is going to inherit the Odditorium, one must learn to fly it.

An intriguing turn of events, wouldn’t you agree?

Character List

Some folks in the North Country

Grubb:
Name spelled like the worm but with a double
b
, Grubb is twelve years old or thereabouts and the narrator of our story. A chimney sweep by trade, he can
also read a bit and count higher than his fingers and toes.

Mr. Smears:
Grubb’s brutal master, his favorite pastimes include drinking beer and knocking down Grubb for no reason in particular.

Mrs. Smears:
Gentle and kind, she died when Grubb was six or thereabouts.

Mr. Crumbsby:
A swindler and the proprietor of the Lamb’s Inn, he is fat, has red whiskers, and spoils his twin sons rotten.

Tom & Terrance Crumbsby:
Fat, redheaded devils like their father, the Crumbsby twins eat loads of jam and enjoy beating up Grubb when they catch him.

The Crumbsby Women:
Mrs. Crumbsby and her two daughters, Anne and Emily. They are very fond of Grubb and sneak him food when the others are not around.

Old Joe:
A donkey that sometimes shares its stable with Grubb.

A number of relevant persons in and around London

Alistair Grim:
Fortune hunter, purveyor of antiquities, and, some say, mad sorcerer. He is the inventor of the Odditorium, a house of mechanical wonders, and thus the
chap after whom our story is named.

Prince Nightshade:
Mr. Grim’s nemesis and antiquities rival, the self-proclaimed prince is an evil necromancer capable of absorbing magical power.

Nigel Stout:
Alistair Grim’s coachman and all-around right-hand man, he is big and bald and wears a pair of thick black goggles.

Mrs. Pinch:
Mr. Grim’s nearsighted housekeeper and cook.

Lord Dreary:
Mr. Grim’s business partner and longtime friend.

Kiyoko:
A fierce shinobi warrior and prisoner in Nightshade’s castle.

Judge Mortimer Hurst:
An enemy of Mr. Grim’s, he sentenced Nigel’s brother to hang a decade earlier.

Noah the Pickpocket:
A dapper thief about Grubb’s age.

Frog Eyes & Flat Nose:
His not-so-dapper mates.

And, of course, a few who are either dead or just talked about

BOOK: Alistair Grim's Odditorium
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