All About Me (15 page)

I pause, composing myself.
“
Anyway, I just wanted to get this off my chest. India, I have been in love with you since the moment I saw you outside the classroom in Gargle, and I can
’
t keep pretending that I don
’
t feel anything. I
’
m beating myself up that I wasn
’
t the first one to take a step. The years went by and you went through a lot. Then you came to Braxton to start over and I made your life very difficult, spreading rumours and using pranks to crash you. I
’
m sorry that I
’
d made a bet over your heart. That was beyond stupid and cruel. Only after I realised what I
’
d lost could I see what kind of monster I had become. Right now I deeply regret that something like that even crossed my mind. Please, everyone who is going to watch this, please help me convince her that I
’
m worth another shot. Let
’
s start from friendship, that
’
s it. I want you to trust me again. Every day I wake up and I want to change the past. No one else matters to me like you do. You
’
re my shining star and I don
’
t have any desire to steal your light. I want you to light up my day. Just friendship, that
’
s all I
’
m asking for.
”

Right, this is a little over the top, but I think the message should help me a lot. I switch off the camera and start playing with some editing. When it comes to romance, I
’
m here to rock her world. Two hours later my apology video is ready. Then, without showing it to anyone, I post it in on YouTube. Underneath I write this comment.

Share it. Help me to regain the trust of the girl that I care about.

The video goes to Facebook and a few other social media sites. I sit back and wait for the results. One way or another, India is going to watch it. In a week her mother and sister are coming to Braxton. Evans is in the way and I haven
’
t thought about what I
’
m going to do with him yet. When the evening comes I decide not to check the video and just go to sleep. The rest is up to fate.

Chapter Fourteen
 

Trick and treats.

Present:
India

“
You have to see this! I wouldn
’
t show it to you but this is actually really sad,
”
Dora says barging into my room out of nowhere. She
’
s holding her laptop in her hands.
‘
And I bet Jacob had something to do with it.
”

She places the laptop in front of me and clicks on a video ranting something about an apology, Oliver and other women. Shortly after that Oliver
’
s face comes up on the screen and my stomach churns.

“
Hey, India, This is me again, the guy that you hate so much. Since you don
’
t even want to look at me anymore
…

I want to start shouting; I want to tell her to get this fucking thing off my bed. I don
’
t want to watch Oliver or listen to his messages. Dora should know this. I
’
m done with his shit!

“
Just watch it until the end.
”
she insists.

At first Oliver apologises to all the girls he
’
s hurt, and
then the message becomes more
personal he
tells me that it
’
s me he loves. Blah, blah, blah it
’
s the same thing over and over.

Dora is laughing hysterically until the end of the video.

“
Are you seeing that twat?! He thinks you
’
ll go running back to him because he
’
s apologised, yet again!
”

I wipe the sweat off my forehead and exhale deeply feeling anxious.

“
I need to be alone Dor, this video doesn
’
t mean anything to me.
”
I say barely hearing my own voice. She places her hands on her hips shaking her head with distaste.

“
And can you believe Jacob is still friends with him?! I mean come on. We are together, so he should cut all the ties with Oliver,
”

I don
’
t know what
’
s got into Dora tonight, but I
’
m not in the mood to listen to what she thinks about Oliver and his cruelty. Dora leaves, going back to the living room and I
’
m left on my own. A few minutes later I hear her talking to Jacob on the phone. I flop back on the bed covering my hands on my face. I never believed Oliver could do something like this even after I
’
d heard him apologise to his ex girlfriend at the party. I wish I could believe him and go back to what we had before but he
’
s torn my heart to pieces and nothing will ever be the same again.

I
’
m over him. We are over.

Present:
Oliver

In the morning I check my channel and discover that my video has been watched a couple of thousand times. Some girls leave really nice comments wishing me good luck. Others are letting me know that I
’
ve been an arsehole, but they
’
ve moved on. There is also some abuse, but at that point I don
’
t care. My Facebook profile is filled with share notifications. India has blocked me, but maybe she watched it. Evans will probably get furious with me again. At the end of the day, I
’
m not trying to steal India away from him. She is his and I
’
m looking just to be around her.

The boys downstairs are giving me hell, but I don
’
t sweat it over their snarky comments.

“
Man, I think you should leave her alone. She doesn
’
t want you,
”
says Jhonny, who is apparently a new expert in relationships.
“
That was a bit lame anyway. No one is going to sleep with you now.
”

Jacob arrives later with an uncertain look on his face.
“
She
’
s seen it, but didn
’
t say anything, before you ask,
”
he tells me with a heavy sigh.

A huge grin spreads over my face. She watched it, that
’
s the most important thing. In a few days my other plan is going to be set in motion.
  

On campus, I feel like some sort of celebrity getting all the looks and comments from people I never even met. India shows up later, holding hands with Evans. Dora is behind her, giving me the same sharp look as always. I think everyone in the canteen is holding their breath, waiting for her to do something. The waves of tension are making me feel like something might happen, something good. She focuses on her food without doing anything, and continues her hushed conversation with Evans. Everyone is looking at her. I continue to eat, literally forcing myself to swallow food. A few minutes later, Jacob arrives and slams down on the chair next to me, not even looking at Dora.

“
Dora fucked me over,
”
my mate says, looking like someone just sliced his heart with chain saw.

I look at Dora again, but she is talking to some tall guy, pretending she didn
’
t even see Jacob.

“
Fucked you over?
”

“
She ended it because of you.
”

I
’
ve lost my appetite now, so I push my plate away, raising my eyebrow.

“
What did I do this time?
”
 

“
The video. She gave me a fucking ultimatum: you or her and the rest of the miserable pack. She was serious this time around, so I told her that she was being unreasonable.
”

“
Listen, I
’
m flattered that you sided with me, but is this worth it? You love her, man, so maybe you should stop talking to me for little while.
”

He slams his hand on the table and a few people flinch, but Dora is a great actress. She laughs loudly, making Jacob even more pissed.

“
Fuck, no! This is not a relationship! She won
’
t dictate who I
’
m going to be friends with. It
’
s her problem. Besides, I was tired of monogamy.
”

This is getting more complicated than I originally anticipated. Then India kisses Evans, and I know that the video didn
’
t make much impact on her. He gives me a dare stare that says,
I
’
m
winning,
man,
and
what
are
you
going
to
do
about
that?

I stay calm until it
’
s time to move. My heart rate is slow and I force myself to get on with the rest of the day. That day is one of the hardest, because I feel like a fucked-up man-whore who just wants that one girl he can
’
t have.

***

I
’
m a monster without feelings. Some people tell me that I
’
m selfish, but today I genuinely feel like shit. Apparently, Evans
’
s mother is getting worse and he had to leave campus in order to take her to London. India
’
s competition is today. I got what I wanted
—
my rival is out of sight and the girl I want might finally allow me to talk to her.
 

I have to pick up Mrs. Gretel and little Josephine from the train station in an hour. Knowing what is going on with Evans, I have to play this cool. India is with another guy, and our day is going to be all about the conversation, nothing more and nothing less. I can
’
t fucking touch her or kiss her. I
need to be a mature
guy who isn
’
t a total douche. She has to make a decision to let me back in her life.

Jacob is miserable, even more than me. The breakup with Dora really got to him. She is already going out with someone else and doesn
’
t even look at him. In the past two days Jacob has been trying to attract some random girls, probably just to feel better about himself. Another problem arises: India wants to see her friend happy and I want to do something about it. It
’
s simple task. I need to help him to get Dora back. The girl hates me as much as India does, but I can
’
t just stand around and let my friend waste himself like that with some random girl.

Using my douche brother
’
s car, I arrive at the station exactly at nine in the morning. The competition starts at twelve, but my whole day has already been planned out. Fuck me, I
’
m nervous. Mrs. Gretel is going to kill me if she finds out what I
’
ve done to her daughter, so I prefer she not know.
 

The train is late just by a few minutes, but I
’
m relieved when they come out of the station looking excited about this. India is going to be ecstatic to see them, but pissed with me. It
’
s all about the dialog today.

“
Olie, hey, Olie!
”
Josephine shouts.

“
God, old Braxton central. I never knew that I would be here again. Did you know that this is where I met my husband?
”
says Mrs. Gretel with a smile.