All About the Duke (The Dukes' Club Book 4) (12 page)

Her smile had dimmed and a worried expression creased the fine lines of her forehead. “It’s about Alfred, isn’t it?”

He gaped. “Have you taken to reading the tea leaves you spoon out?”

She tsked. “Don’t be ridiculous. I’ve been thinking on it all night and this morning.” She folded her worn hands. “You know, don’t you?”

Nicholas winced, but he wasn’t quite ready to expose Alfred if what he supposedly knew wasn’t what Mrs. Thackery knew. “Can you be more specific?”

“Specific?” she huffed. “I ought to deny you sweets for a year. You knew Alfie wasn’t what. . . You do know, don’t you?”

He sighed. “That he is a she?”

She pinned him with a disappointed stare. “Indeed, Nicky.”

The use of the intimate version of his first name told him he was in for it. She only called him Nicky when exceptionally irritated or feeling very affectionate.

“How could you do it, my boy?” she asked, her voice low with recrimination.

“I don’t quite know,” he confessed. “It was meant to just be a diversion. A bit of fun. . .”

Mrs. Thackery frowned. “I know you’re a man, but I had thought you more honorable than that.”

It was true. Usually he was. He didn’t despoil debutants or ruin people’s lives. He was far from a saint, enjoying pleasure as often as he may, but he didn’t hurt people. Somehow, Alfred had awoken in him a willingness to do anything to have what he wanted.

Suddenly, he was quite disgusted with himself. “It got out of hand.”

“Out of hand?” she echoed. “You’ve taken that young lady into your room. You’ve slept together in the same chamber. You’ve been
alone
with her. She’s ruined.”

“Only if someone finds out.”

“Finds out?” She threw up her hands then smacked them against her apron as she stared him down. “Everyone knows!”

He blinked. He hadn’t considered that his young lady’s ruse might be entirely ineffectual. “That Alfred is, well, not an Alfred?”

“For a supposedly intelligent and high and mighty duke, you are acting the dunce. If I was able to deduce it and you were, how many others might have their suspicions? And the servant’s hall is agog with your latest project. I warned you not to take her as your personal servant.”

He scowled, unwilling to be entirely taken to task. “But you didn’t say why. You simply said, ‘
leave Alfie in the stables’
. I do believe those were your exact words.”

“I was trying to protect you both. From what you tell me now, you may have already known. You never would have asked Alfie to be your servant if she’d been a he, now would you?”

He folded his arms over his chest, tempted to deny it, but he couldn’t. The moment he started lying to Mrs. Thackery was the day he was an entirely lost cause.

“Fine. I knew,” he admitted. “She fascinated me.”

“So, you felt it perfectly acceptable to ruin a young woman for your own amusement?”

“Yes,” he said through gritted teeth, feeling another wave of self-disgust. “No. Not exactly. I didn’t think beyond the moment, if you must know.”

In truth, there were things that he did away from Rothton that he never gave a second thought about. After all, Mrs. Thackery would never know about them. This time. . . This time, he’d made a damned muddle. “Look, I know I’ve done wrong but Alfred is not a child. She knew the risks of her situation.”

Mrs. Thackery folded her arms over her pressed, white apron. “And you took advantage.”

“I know,” he said so quietly, he wondered if he’d actually spoken.

Mrs. Thackery narrowed her eyes. “You do.”

He looked askance. He felt guilt for maneuvering her into close quarters with him but once she’d known he knew her true sex, he had not done anything she hadn’t wished. In fact, she’d downright demanded.

Nicholas refused to feel guilt on that score. Somehow, he felt that he’d done the right thing there. But now, he had to keep doing the right thing.

“It was what she wished,” he finally admitted, shocked he could say such a thing to the woman who had raised him.

An exasperated cry burst from Mrs. Thackery’s lips and she threw her arms into the air. “It doesn’t matter if she did or didn’t wish it. She’s ruined. However, I am glad to hear you’re not an entire rogue.”

“Just a bit of one?” he teased, hating that Mrs. Thackery was saying what he already knew. He’d made a dreaded error with Alfred. No matter what, she was ruined. . . The simple act of keeping a lady in a room alone with himself meant such a thing. And he didn’t ruin young maidens. It was simply beyond the pale. Even for the likes of him. And there was something else driving his actions. In all his life, he’d never been drawn to a single soul the way he was drawn to Alfred.

“Oh, Nicky, you can’t keep going on like this. It’s making you dreadfully unhappy. ”

He was silent for a long moment. “I quite like my life.”

“Do you?” she challenged. “Then why are you here now? Discussing your rotten behavior with me? I am not your conscience.”

A sad smile tilted his lips. “Aren’t you?”

“No.” She dropped her hands to her sides but there was no air of defeat about her stoic person. “You already know what must be done.”

“What if she’s the daughter of a baker?” he asked, just for good measure, wondering if Mrs. T would follow him in his new determination.

Mrs. Thackery arched a silvery brow. “That one? Hardly.”

“You never should have let me take her up to my chambers,” he said, but a rueful smile was playing at his mouth now. Truth be told, he was damned glad she had said nothing because it meant that, finally, a certain aspect of his life was to be settled.

“
Let
, my boy? When have I ever let you do anything? You wanted this and now you have it. Either do the right thing or don’t. But know if you do the wrong thing, I shall be deeply disappointed and despairing of you.”

“The wrong thing?” he quipped. He’d been doing the wrong thing for ages but he could well and truly say he’d never done irreparable damage to anyone. Ruining a young woman would end that. And when it came to Alfred, he knew he’d never do the wrong thing again. She was simply too remarkable.

He waggled his brows at Mrs. T. “And be denied your pastries from now until death?”

“Do be serious,” she sighed.

“Well, then,” he said, amazed how his life had changed so quickly and all from one impulsive act. “I suppose we should prepare the staff for the future duchess.”

“She’s quite the character.” Mrs. Thackery gave a satisfied nod. “Just what the Roth dukedom needs.”

“Are you suggesting that I am boring?”

“My good lord, no. But after thirteen dukes in one descending line, blood such as hers is a welcome thing.”

Nicholas smiled. So it was. So it was.

A
llegra stretched and smiled. Oh she felt delicious and strangely sore. Her eyes snapped open and she halted mid-stretch. Once again, she was in Nicholas’ bed. Only this time something had happened there.

Several somethings and she’d loved every single happening.

Staring up at the arched ceiling, she tucked the bed linen around her and considered how strange life could be. Just a few months ago she was on a path well plodded by thousands of other young women. Now, she was so far off that beaten path she couldn’t even glimpse it.

This was what it was to be free.

A smile pulled at her lips again. Everything she had done, the chances she had taken, the life she’d walked away from? For this? It had been worth it. She was her own woman now. She could choose. Unlike her sister, Allegra would never have to fear giving way to someone else’s dictates.

By ensuring she was no longer a perfect, innocent young lady, she was no longer marriageable and she’d shared the bed of an absolutely glorious man in the bargain.

Her luck seemed so rich it almost felt impossible that it should ever give out now. Perhaps all the pain after Juliana’s death was being repaid? Her own choice to abandon her old life was being rewarded. For since she slipped out into the night those weeks ago, instead of destruction and misery as all young women were told would happen to them if they left the bosom of their families, she felt truly happy.

The door swung open and Nicholas entered with a tray in hand.

She sat, keeping the linen around her. A blush stung her cheeks. For all her boldness, this was still all new. How did one speak to their lover the first morning after?

He smiled but there was less of his usual boldness about his person.

She tucked a wild lock of hair behind her ear wondering who’d speak first.

He neared the bed and stood. . . For several moments.

It was so odd seeing him at unease. In fact, she never would have thought that the Duke of Roth was capable of such a thing. At last, she pointed to the tray. “Is that for me?”

He glanced at the item in his hands and cleared his throat. “It is.”

“I’m famished,” she confessed, her stomach suddenly growling to give weight to her words.

Nicholas laughed his deep rumbly laugh. “I thought you might be.”

He placed the tray on the bed.

Steam laced up from the small pot of tea and buttered toast sat in silver containers ready to be covered in marmalade from the crystal pot beside the tea. She snatched a slice of toast and the small knife for jam.

Still, Nicholas stood.

“Will you join me?” she asked, wondering what had happened to the terribly confident man in the early hours while she was sleeping. There was a seriousness to him at this moment that she’d never quite seen and suddenly her hunger dimmed.

Slowly, he sat on the bed, across from her. Carefully he poured out a cup of tea and handed it to her.

“Will I need it?” she asked, forcing herself to laugh.

“I don’t know. It all depends.”

“Goodness. You’re making me quite nervous and I didn’t think I could ever be more nervous than I was last night.”

He smiled, a quick smile. “Yes, well about last night. . .”

Her hand tightened around the tea cup as she took in his face. It wasn’t at all what she had imagined. She’d thought he would come in full of his usual playful charm, take her in his arms, kiss her, and perhaps make love to her again. Instead, he was sitting across from her, back ramrod straight and not a bit of roguishness about him.

“Alfred—“

“Just a moment. From your countenance, I do think I need a sip.”

When he didn’t laugh or give her one of his slow smiles, she knew that the luck she’d just so reveled in was about to run out. Quickly, she sipped her tea, barely noting the robust flavor then nodded. “Last night?”

“It was marvelous.”

She let out a relieved sigh. “It was, wasn’t it?”

A gentle smile curved his lips. “It was so marvelous that I’d like to have another.”

She raised her tea cup to him, her ominous feeling dissipating somewhat. “Thank goodness. So should I.”

“And another.”

A laugh bubbled past her lips. “It sounds as if you’ve several nights planned. Shall my education greatly increase then?”

“I should like to have all the nights of the rest of your life.”

She blinked. The words lingered in the air and as their meaning took hold, she wished she could shove them back again.   “As your mistress?” she asked desperately, for surely that was all he could mean. He was a duke after all. . . And yet, from his grave countenance, he didn’t seem like a fellow proposing an affair.

“No. I should like you to be my wife.”

She lowered her tea cup to the tray, all the joy she’d felt just moments ago slipping away. This wasn’t supposed to happen. For goodness sake, he was a rake! How could he be proposing?   “You have no idea who I am,” she protested. “And. . . And. . . you’re a man of the world. Surely you don’t propose to all the young women-“

“I ruin?”

Allegra paused. “Have you ruined many?”

“Only one.”

A shuddering sigh escaped her. She was the one. That explained it. The Duke of Roth, man of pleasure, was a fraud. In fact, he was a man of honor and, of course, he’d been the man she’d given her innocence to. She should admire him. Really. And she did except it went against all her hopes and plans.

“That’s very kind of you, Your Grace, to be so concerned. But you mustn’t.”

“I am,” he said, his rich voice full of determination. “I am deeply concerned.”

How could she explain without revealing who she was? Now, it was more important than ever that he not learn her identity. The last thing she needed was him racing off to speak with her father.

So, she put down her uneaten toast and brushed the crumbs from her fingers. “Would it shock you if I said I was grateful to be ruined?”

“Nothing about you would shock me. But tell me why.”

She couldn’t help her grudging smile. Apparently, Nicholas understood her to some degree if she couldn’t shock him and, yet, she was fairly certain she could if she were to tell him the whole truth. Something she would never do. “I made a vow never to marry and now, you and I have ensured that I am no longer marriageable.”

“Is that why you were so eager to—“

“No!” she protested. “I truly wished to be with you and to know what it was like. However, I won’t pretend that I am not most happy with the result. In fact, I thank you. No man would have me now.”

“Except me,” he countered.

“Apparently, except you,” she acknowledged. “But, Your Grace—“

“Nicholas.”

“Nicholas. I won’t have
you
. Or anyone,” she added quickly. “Like you, though it may not seem so, I am a person of honor and I will not my break vow.”

“So, you will force me to part with my honor? Is that it?”

“N-no,” she hurried. “I should hate for you to feel as if you’ve done wrongly. You’ve offered to remedy the situation, a most honorable thing. And I have refused you.”

“Yes,” he said blankly. “So, you have.”

Suddenly, a shadow settled over her heart. Where was his relief? Surely a man like Nicholas didn’t wish to be shackled with an unwanted partner? She was giving him the perfect out. And yet, he didn’t seem pleased.

“What if I told you that beyond honor, I think you would make a splendid duchess?”