All In (11 page)

Cass just let her friend hold her, allowing the tears to dry up on their own. She pushed away as she started to cough, needing the honey in her tea to soothe her sore throat.

“Please don’t be mad,” Cass pleaded, looking over the top of her mug.

Lo laughed. “I can’t say I’m not angry, but not at you.”

“I could’ve walked away. I let it happen, and it’s up to me to put an end to it. Even if it means losing him.”

Lo’s laughter died, and she made Cass look her in the eye. “You’ll do no such thing!”

“Lo! I have to. This is Maddox. He was married to gorgeous. Every woman he dates oozes hot sex. They’re beautiful. He’s not looking for commitment to a mousy, anxiety riddled, average woman. Hell, he’s not looking for commitment, no matter how much he says otherwise.”

“I’m going to kill you right now. You are not mousy. You’re gorgeous. You’re curvy, and look at those things,” she waved her hand over Cass’ chest. “Hell if every woman in the office doesn’t stare at them in envy. Anxiety riddled? Yes, but only over this shit, and I really think—and I can’t believe I’m saying this—Maddox may be the guy to make that go away.”

Cass shook her head. “It was only a pity fuck, Lo. Let’s keep our perspective.”

“You really are an idiot, you know.”

“Bitch!” Cass half-joked.

“Well, yes. But listen to me, dumbass. You and Maddox, well, you two have something most couples could never have. We all see the chemistry between the two of you. Why do you think I’m so hard on him? I know you feel it, and I know what it does to you. But I also know he feels it, too, which is what had me worried, because he’s so fucking blind to it. You don’t even notice how he leans into you, how he seeks you out in a room. You can’t see how he relaxes the moment you touch him, and how the banter between you two is so easy. It’s so much more than friendship, and you two idiots were just the last to know.”

“But, Lo, he’s not-“

“Of course he is. Maybe it took until now for him to realize it. Maybe it took you finally opening up and being vulnerable for him to get it. It’s about damn time you did that, too. We all joke about you being Frigid Bitch Queen, but it’s only because you’re always so strong ALL THE DAMN TIME. It’s about time someone got through to you, and I’m not sure anyone else but Maddox could.”

“I’m a mess, aren’t I?” Cass laughed, pulling away from Lo’s embrace.

“You always were,” Lo laughed with her.

“No one wants a mess.”

“Oh, girl. You’d be surprised how many men love to clean up disasters.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be a disaster.”

“Well, you should’ve thought about that earlier. Like when you were born.”

“Shut up.”

“You know I love you.”

“And I love you, too.”

“So, if you’re going to make that man crawl on his hands and knees, and you will, let’s get you into that dress.”

Cass laughed, and then stopped. Shit. She had to see him. In an hour. Shit.

“Deep breath, Cass. That dress will do all the talking for you. Promise.”

S
he’d been expecting it
, but the doorbell still made her jump. Lo had only been gone 15 minutes, and since then Cass had busied herself by wearing a path in the area rug with all her pacing back and forth.

What was she doing?

Her hand shook as she opened the door to a pair of startling blue eyes.

“Hi,” his deep voice resonated under her skin.

“Hi,” she blushed, unable to handle his gaze.

“May I come in?” His lips curved into a gentle smile.

Shit. “Of course,” she pulled the door open wider and motioned for him to step inside.

“These are for you.” He handed her a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Gerbera daisies. Her favorite.

“I’ll, um, go put these in water,” she smiled. “Thank you,” she remembered her manners as she went into the kitchen to hunt down a vase. As she arranged the flowers in the glass container, she watched Maddox take in the room. She’d never had Maddox over, and he seemed such a large presence in her small apartment.

“This your family?” Maddox asked, pointing to a framed photo on the fireplace.

“Yeah, my parents, grandparents, and younger sister,” she set the flowers on the coffee table. “We took it at my grandparents’ cabin a few years ago, before my grandfather passed away.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, coming to stand next to her. She could feel the heat coming off of him, so she sidestepped him to find her shoes.

“No need. It was a few years ago, and he lived a long and wonderful life,” she reached down to grab her sandals.

“Where are we going?” she asked, trying to swim through the thick awkwardness in the room. His eyes followed her movement as she fixed the strap across her ankle. When she struggled with the second buckle, he knelt down next to her.

“Marceaux,” he breathed, his fingers brushing her leg as he fastened the strap for her. Cass’ body smoldered at the touch.

“Well,” she tried to catch her breath, “We should probably go.”

“Mmm, we have a few minutes,” he told her, his hand massaging her leg as his lips met hers. Cass couldn’t hold back the moan. Oh, God, she wanted him. His kisses just set her on fire. She opened her mouth and his tongue stroked hers. She reached around and snaked her fingers through his hair.

“Maddox,” she whispered as his lips found the side of her neck, causing her body to arch into him. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen.

“Mmm, yeah. Dinner,” he grumbled as he pulled away. “Come on,” he sighed, helping her up.

* * *

C
ass’ hands shook
as she grabbed her purse, and she focused her attention on not letting her legs turn completely to jelly. She grabbed her keys, and knowing she’d never get them in the lock, she preset the lock from the inside and closed the door.

“So, Marceaux?” she asked, trying hard to be normal.

“Well, I know how you love steak, and the restaurant is pretty well renowned for their surf and turf.” He opened the door and let her in.

“Well, as long as we get there alive, I’m sure I’ll enjoy it,” she teased.

“Are you saying something is wrong with my driving, Cassidy Moore? I’m insulted.”

“Not at all. Just telling you I value my life, and I’m putting it in your hands right now. I’m not sure if I’m just woefully hungry or terribly stupid.”

“Both,” he grinned, starting up the car. “But I’m not going to let anything happen to you. Not now. Not ever,” he said, and Cass knew he wasn’t just talking about his ridiculously bad driving. She pushed the lump in her throat back and turned her eyes toward the road, though she wasn’t sure that was such a good idea, either.

Her heart was in her stomach by the time they made it to the restaurant, and she was still shaky when Maddox handed over his keys to the valet—at least this time it wasn’t because he kissed her. She was just grateful to have survived.

All relief faded, though, when he placed his hand on her back and led her through the doors to the restaurant.

Marceaux was the definition of simple elegance. The restaurant was defined by two things: mouth watering food and privacy for the patrons. There was no seeing other people eating. There was just you and the food. It wasn’t like those “eat in the dark” places, though. Instead there were circular, tufted booths whose backs were so tall you didn’t see anyone but the server.

Yet Cass was missing most of the decor, because all she could concentrate on was Maddox’s touch and the fact that this was the perfect place for him to let her down easy. Even if she started to cry, no one would see her. Unless she started screaming, which he knew she wouldn’t, no one would hear. He’d tell her that he wasn’t ready for commitment and they were better off as friends. Maybe friends with benefits, considering the kiss before they’d left, but still. There was no way he’d want more, at least not with her.

She scooted into the booth, careful to make sure the determined-to-ride-up-on-her dress covered her bits and pieces. Maddox scooted in next to her and whispered in her ear, “I told you I wanted to see leg,” and pulled her hands away from her belligerent hemline. Her sex pulsed at the whisper, and she internally told herself off. Stupid hormones.

“The special tonight is a rare Japanese Wagyu with a tosa joyu sauce paired with a Moonstruck Vines Shiraz,” the waiter explained as he set the menus in front of them.

“We’ll start with a bottle of the Shiraz and your fried mac and cheese,” Maddox told him, never taking his eyes off of Cass. She shifted, uncomfortable with the intense attention.

The waiter nodded and walked away.

“Fried mac and cheese?” Cass asked, her voice a little shaky as Maddox kept stroking her leg.

“Mmmm, yeah. Comfort food. It’s a specialty here.”

“You take women here a lot?”

He stopped stroking her leg. “No, Cass. I don’t,” his voice turned cold.

“Mad-“

“Cass, before the waiter comes back, listen to me. I’m not here out of routine. I’m not taking you down the same path as every other woman I’ve dated. I won’t do that to you. I don’t want to do that to either of us. I-“

The waiter’s arrival interrupted whatever it was that Maddox was going to say next, and he squeezed her leg before going through the motions of swirling, sniffing, and sipping the wine before the waiter would pour. It gave Cass a moment to get her head together.

She had to give Maddox a break. She was pushing him, asking about other women, but it was a habit she’d developed ages ago when she realized she had a little crush on him. Asking about his dates, his girlfriends, or any woman really, served to remind her that he couldn’t be his. It kept their relationship firmly placed in the “just friends” category.

Even if he was going to break her heart tonight, it was still Maddox, and she didn’t want to let him go. As much as she knew their relationship would never be the same, maybe they could preserve something. Anything. Anything would be better than nothing, right?

She glanced over at the man sitting next to her, and he smiled. Oh, he was glorious. The light of the candle was a flickering reflection in his eyes, he licked his full lips, and she placed her hand on top of his strong fingers.

No, anything wasn’t better than nothing. Her heart sank. She couldn’t go back to denying herself anymore. She’d had a taste, and she wanted more.

“We’ll have the center cut filet surf and turf with the king crab, not the lobster. Medium rare for us both. And a side of green beans,” Maddox ordered, and the waiter once again disappeared from view.

“What if I didn’t want surf and turf?” she asked, falling back into her teasing mode without thinking. It felt good, comfortable.

“Since when do you deny yourself surf and turf?” he lifted an eyebrow.

She pursed her lips. “Never. But still-“

“Don’t do that,” he leaned forward, and Cass could smell the wine on his breath. His lips brushed hers, and he pulled her in close. “Too kissable,” he whispered before taking her mouth.

“Maddox,” she pushed him away after several minutes of losing herself in his kisses.

“Cass, please,” he stopped stroking her leg and just held her hand. “I want this. I want what’s between us now. I was an idiot for so long. But I want this. I want you.”

She looked him in the eyes, his pleading blue eyes.

She should be crying by now, but the sheer honesty in his admission stunned her into silence.

“Say something,” he whispered, and Cass noticed how his confidence wavered. His shoulders sunk a little, and he bit his lip.

“I-,” she stumbled. What did you say to something like this? He didn’t say he loved her. Hell, if he wanted to scare her off, that was what he should have said. But he wanted this. Was it just for now? Could she handle that?

She placed her hand on his face, so smooth and well-shaved. There was no shaking, no worry. She was sure. “I want this, too.”

A wide grin crossed his face, making Cass realize she was way more trouble than she imagined. She wanted to make him smile like that all the time. His eyes danced and his whole face lit up—she’d caused that.

She smiled back.

“Well, one bottle of Shiraz might not be enough. We might need some champagne.”

“Well, bubbles couldn’t make your driving any worse,” she laughed.

* * *

A
bottle
of bubbles and half a bottle of shiraz later, Cass could barely make her way to the cab. She was such a lightweight. She wasn’t the only one struggling, though. Maddox talked to the valet, and they said it was okay to leave the car in the garage overnight. It would cost him an extra $50, but that was nothing compared to the trouble he could cause driving under the influence.

It was quite the influence.

“The dinner was amazing,” Cass smiled, enjoying how their fingers were playing with one another.

“I could tell, with all that moaning. Never thought I’d be competing with a steak.”

“Well, you already were King Crab,” she teased.

“Yes, with powerful pinschers,” he pinched her leg, then her waist as she squirmed and giggled.

“I love your giggles,” he breathed into her neck.

“Mmmm, well, bubbles bring out my effervescence,” she murmured as he kissed behind her ear.

His hand traveled from her knee toward the hem of her skirt, when she pushed it back. The restaurant had called a nice, black limo, but the barrier was down, and she didn’t want to be
that
couple.

Couple.

Shit.

Were they a couple?

Oh, God, never mind. His teeth pulled on her earlobe and she forgot all about her panic. Damn, his kisses were good. No. No kisses. Driver. Yes, there was a driver, and he could see.

And she was no exhibitionist.

“Maddox,” she breathed.

“Mhmmm,” he hummed against her collarbone, and her thoughts started to go fuzzy.

Get a grip.

“Driver,” she whispered in his ear.

He sighed and sat back, a naughty blush on his cheeks.

The driver needed to speed this up. It was taking everything she had not to jump him right then and there.