All She Wanted (2) (33 page)

Charlie

After showering and eating—yes, I made
myself a ham sandwich—I sat down at the piano. I couldn’t remember the last
time I had played. With all that had gone on, it felt lower on the scale of
importance now. Camille and her brother had dropped my car off yesterday, along
with my music binder. I ran my hand across the front of it before turning to my
unfinished composition. I stared at the blank lines and spaces at the end, and
suddenly, I knew the notes to fill it.

I poured my heart into that melody
until there was nothing left inside it. Every last hope, every last thought,
every last dream it held, I played, note by note. And just like that, the piece
that had challenged me the most, the piece that had avoided an ending for so
long, was finished.

I picked up my pencil, scribbling the
notes down with lightening speed so I wouldn’t forget them—ever.

And then I added a simple title, which
was anything but simple:
BRIGGS.

The only thing waiting to be written in
our future was an ending.

Briggs

I pulled up to Charlie’s house,
overcome by the reality of the moment that lay ahead. After waiting so long, it
hardly felt real. I knocked lightly on the front door, but like countless times
in the past, there was no answer. I was certain she was either asleep or playing
the piano. I cracked the door and listened. Sure enough, the sounds of heaven
met my ears.

I wanted to rush in and beg her to hear
me out before she had the chance to erupt again, but more than that, I wanted
to give her the ability to choose.

This decision needed to be hers alone.

When I saw her phone sitting on the
coffee table, I had an idea. I was in and out in just under a minute.

Charlie

I reached for my keys on the table and
picked up my phone, scrolling through my missed texts.
I’m not bringing you a Coke, dad.
And then I saw it. I blinked over
and over again, trying to understand how and when Briggs had gotten to my
phone.

Truth
or Dare:
If you choose to
accept this dare, I promise to give you nothing but the truth. I’ll be on a
bench near the pond on the south side of the hospital at 7 tonight. Please
come. We need to talk.

Thirty
minutes.
I grabbed my jacket
and scarf, and headed out to my car.

It was time to have this conversation;
it was time to complete our composition.

Briggs

I didn’t realize how nervous I was
until I saw her on the path, walking toward me. Her nose and cheeks were pink
from the chilly night air. She had her hands tucked into her red coat and a
thick scarf wrapped her neck. I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

She
came.

I walked toward her, unwilling to wait
another minute.

“Charlie, I-”

“Briggs, I-”

 
Apparently, I wasn’t the only who had
something to say.
 

Charlie looked up at me, her voice
soft. “May I speak,
please
?”

I nodded, noticing for the first time
the space she had placed between us—she stood just outside of my reach. A pang
hit the pit of my stomach, hoping that the distance was not as symbolic as my
mind was leading me to believe it was.

 
“I
came to tell you I’m sorry. You are not to blame for any of the decisions I
made, Briggs. I was cruel to suggest that you were. I hope you can forgive me-”
   

“Of course, Charlie-” I took a step
closer, reaching out for her hand as she slipped it away from my grasp while
retreating several steps back, leaving a wider gap between us.

Everything stopped in that moment—my
words, my breath, my heart.

 
Her eyes were full of silent torment, but she
held my gaze nonetheless. “There’s more I need to say to you.” She took a
breath, “Although I’m ashamed of how I treated you after all you’ve done for my
family this last week, I can’t do
this
anymore—I can’t do
us
anymore. I used
to believe that I could love you enough to stay your friend, but I don’t just
love you enough Briggs, I love you
too
much
.” She put her hand over her
heart, her voice strained with emotion, “I’ve been drowning in denial for too
long, and it’s time we finally say a
real
goodbye, it’s time we let each other go. I’ll never forget you, Briggs.
Goodbye.”

She turned away from me without another
word, walking quickly down the path. I had watched her leave one too many
times, and it wasn’t going down that way tonight.
 

Not again.

“I’m in love with you Charlie
Lexington!”

She stopped immediately as I jogged to
catch up with her.

“The first time you called me your
manny I was ruined, and I’ve loved you
too
much
ever since.” My heart pounded wildly as she faced me—the face of the
woman I wanted more than anything else in the world.

 
“What did you just say?” She whispered the
question; her eyes were huge with shock.

“Charlie, you are everything I
want
, and yet nothing I deserve. All the
months I’ve waited for this moment have proven only one thing to be true over
and over again. I am hopelessly, miserably, and so out-of-my-mind desperately
in love with you.” I cupped her face, warming her cheeks with my hands.

Though her face still held the look of
utter disbelief, she didn’t flinch at my touch.

“You’ve...you’ve loved me for months?”

“Many.”

“I don’t understand, Briggs, you said-”

“I know, Shortcake,” I shook my head.
“Until you, I never believed I would fall in love, much less desire a future
with a woman long-term, but you changed all that for me. I wanted to tell you
how I felt Charlie—
believe
me I did,
but I needed to do it the right way, for you. When I told your dad my feelings
for you last spring, I wasn’t sure I would ever get his blessing…until tonight.
I never wanted to hurt you or confuse you—I only wanted to love you in the way
you deserve to be loved.”

She opened her mouth twice before any
sound came out, “My dad? You waited all this time for
his
blessing
?”

I smiled in response to her squeaky
voice and leaned in close, “Yes, but I don’t think I can wait one more second
to do this.” I pressed my lips to hers, claiming her mouth with mine as my
hands moved from her face to her hair. She wrapped her arms around my neck as
our kiss deepened. This kiss was worth every minute of agony I had struggled to
endure over the last eight months, and by the way Charlie was kissing me back,
I hoped she felt the same way.

As we broke apart Charlie laughed,
breathlessly. “I just can’t believe it...”

“Believe it,” I said pulling her close
again, and kissing her temple. “And whatever this means for your dreams and
your future in music, I will support you, Charlie. I don’t want you to give
anything up for me.” I wrapped my arms around her.

She shook her head, “I’ve learned
something recently: Dreams are as fluid as time. If they don’t adapt with us,
they fail to remain. I used to think I couldn’t live without piano, until I
thought I was going to have to live without you. There was no comparison to
which sacrifice would be worse—all my dreams are meaningless if you’re not in
them. I love you, Briggs.”

I kissed her again. “I love you, and
you don’t have to worry…I’m not going anywhere.”

I tightened my grip as she said, “Do I
have your word on that?”

“Shortcake, you have my heart, I hope
that ranks higher on that screwy point system of yours.”

She laughed, “Oh it does…no doubt.”

Charlie

I put my hand on my hip and stared at
my dad, “I can’t believe he talked to you eight months ago?”

He pushed himself upright, sitting with
his back against the headboard.

There was a huge part of me that wanted
to be furious with him. All this time he was the one who had held the key to
end my misery, and yet, the last hour I had spent with Briggs had easily been
the best minutes of my life. My emotions were in a tug-of-war.

“Come here, sugar.” I went to him,
sitting down on the edge of his bed as he took my hand in his.

“The day you came to live with us—the
day you became my daughter, I vowed I would protect you at all costs. I made it
my life’s mission to keep you safe, to push you toward a path that would lead
you far away from heartache’s door.” He stopped, clearing his throat before
continuing, “But you did get hurt again, Charlie…and I felt like I had failed
you.”

I knew instantly he was referring to
Alex.

“Daddy, I brought that heartache upon
myself. You and mom did your best to warn me, but I was still the one who
chose, and I chose wrong,” I whispered, feeling my throat thicken with emotion.

Tears pooled in his eyes. I had never
seen my dad cry until this moment.

“When Briggs came to me, I was scared
for you, Charlie. I didn’t want to lose you again, or watch you throw your
dreams away. I have loved Briggs like a son for years, and though I never
doubted he was a good man, I did doubt the timing of it. You had just been
through so much, but now, as I look at you, I can hardly believe how much
you’ve grown over this last year. And I have never been more proud of you than
I am right now. I love you, sugar.”

I watched two tears roll down his
cheeks, and my heart warmed with love for him.

Just outside the door was the man who
was my future, but sitting here in front of me, was the man who had redeemed my
past. I hugged him.

“I love you too, Dad.”

I heard a soft knock just as our hug
released. Briggs stepped inside, smiling as our eyes met. My heart fluttered in
response.

Maybe life wasn’t a fairytale after all…maybe
it was better.

Briggs

The night I told Charlie I loved her
was the night my countdown began.

These past five months had meant dozens
of road trips to Austin, countless video chat hours, and a lot of long-winded
texts. And she was worth every minute.

I would have waited forever for
Charlie.

As I entered the auditorium with her
parents, my heart swelled with pride at the thought of her walking across that
stage. We took our seats, Chief patting me on the back as I scrubbed my hands
over my knees.

The countdown was finally over.

Tonight was it; tonight was the night I
would ask Charlie to be my future.

Several hundred students filed in, but
I didn’t see her. Even after the Dean’s welcome speech to the friends and family
of the graduates, I still had not zeroed-in on her strawberry locks, which were
usually quite easy for me to spot. When Dean Thomas took a step back from the
microphone and introduced Professor Wade, I re-focused my attention to the
podium.

He was Charlie’s favorite professor.

“It’s true that every one of my
students is talented, and each one of them can give an extraordinary
performance, but sometimes it’s not about either of those things. There is a
lot to be learned in music, lots to be practiced, memorized and understood, but
there is one thing we cannot teach: Passion. Passion can inspire, it can
transform, and it can create, but it
cannot
be learned in a classroom. I’ve been lucky enough to have a student who has
reminded me time and time again that music begins in the heart. Charlie
Lexington, can you please take the stage?”

What?
Charlie?

I looked at Chief who seemed equally as
befuddled. Charlie floated across the stage, her eyes focused on the piano
straight ahead, which sat off to the side, only she stopped several feel short
of it. Every hair on my neck stood at attention as she adjusted the microphone
on the podium.

I couldn’t breathe.

“Good evening, my name is Charlie Lexington.”
She paused, taking a deep breath before looking out into the crowd. “I was
extremely honored when Professor Wade asked me to play one of my compositions
tonight. But before I make myself at home on the piano, there are a few things
I’d like to share with you first. Like so many of us here, music has been a
constant companion to me, a source of strength, comfort and security—attributes
that were far from what I knew as a young child.

“I was five years old the first time I
heard the notes of a piano, yet I didn’t realize then just how significant that
moment was to my future. The memories I have of my early childhood are not
pretty, and they are not easy to talk about, but they are apart of me
nonetheless.

“The day that music found me, was the
same day my mama committed suicide—a day marked by abandonment, rejection and
fear. Every certainty in my life became uncertain and every known became
unknown. Yet, as lost as I was that day, I couldn’t let go of the sound I had
heard, a sound I’m now convinced was my light in the darkness.

“I didn’t understand all the trials I
would face, or the heartache I would experience due to my mama’s choice, but
God gave me a family who did. My parents—Max and Julie Lexington—are not only
responsible for taking me into their home and caring for me like their own, but
for cultivating my talent and passion as well. Their sacrifice, love and devotion
have been a constant example to me over the years, and the only reason I can
stand here today is because they refused to give up on me. I love you mom and
dad, thank you.”

The auditorium broke into applause at
her last statement, and then settled again, waiting for her next words.

“Music, like love, is a message from
the soul, a divine gift that we are to cherish, nurture and express. Tonight,
I’d like to do just that. The piece I’m going to play for you sat unfinished
for several years, waiting for such a message to be received.” Charlie’s eyes
roamed the audience until she found me. My heart stilled under her gaze. “It
finally has. Thank you Briggs, for loving me enough to wait.”
  

Tears welled in my eyes as she sat down
at the piano, the applause in the auditorium quieting when her hands moved to
the keys.

And then she played.

Every fiber inside me burned and pulled
and stretched as her song overtook the room. I had heard Charlie play dozens of
times before, but never like this. This melody was a story; I was reading her
heart, line by line. Every word, sentence and phrase matched what I felt for
her. By the time her last note resonated in the room, my cheeks were wet.

 
I couldn’t possibly love her more.