All That Glitters (29 page)

Honestly, I had no idea trying so hard not to try hard could be so physically and mentally
exhausting
.

Fresh connections are made in the brain every time you form a new memory. Mine is now so stuffed full of new names and facts and conversations about body parts of celebrities I’ve never heard of before that I think I may have just run out of space.

“Of course I would
really
love to,” I say politely, rubbing my eyes. “But do you mind if I come another time instead? I’ve got such a huge amount on this weekend.”

Sleeping. Reading. Catching up on homework. Eating biscuits in my penguin pyjamas, hopefully with Nat, and watching documentaries about insects in case anything has changed in the last five days.

“See you on Monday?” I add with a little wave, and start wandering sleepily towards home.

Ananya’s voice cuts through the air like a sword.

“Oh. Right. So it’s like
that
, is it?”

I stop in confusion, and turn round slowly. “Huh?”

“We get it. It’s
fine
, Harriet,” she says with her arms crossed. “You’ve obviously got more
important
things to do than hang out with us now. We
totally
understand.”

“
Yeah
,” Liv agrees, folding hers too
.
“I mean, I thought we were a
gang
, but if you’re too
busy
, Harriet, then just let us know. We wouldn’t want to be
in the way
.”

The words are nice, but something about the way they’re saying them doesn’t quite match. An unpleasant memory from last year is beginning to niggle at the back of my brain: one I killed and buried quite a long time ago.

At least, I thought I had.

“It’s not that at all,” I stammer, face starting to get hot. “I just haven’t done any work this week and I’m really tired and there’s a lot to—”

“No no,” Ananya interrupts, holding up her hand. “No need to explain, Harriet. You’ve got
so
much on, now you’re a
celebrity
. I’m sure you have much
better
things to do than spend quality time with
us
.”

And there it is.

With that word –
better –
the memory comes tumbling forward: out of my frontal lobes, through my hippocampus and straight into the middle of my forehead where it sits, flicking me hard with its fingers.

You really think you’re better than everyone else, don’t you? Who here hates Harriet Manners?

Put your hands up.

My entire body has suddenly gone cold, as if I’ve plunged myself headfirst into the freezer.

No.

No no
no
. Not again.

I can’t do this again. Not again not again not again not again not again not again not again …

It suddenly feels like all my hard work over the last ten days is unravelling and I don’t know why, or how to stop it. I must have deviated from the list, somehow. And now they seem to think I don’t want to spend time with them …

And it’s really
not
that
.

I’m having
fun
. I’m just
tired
, that’s all.

But as I stare at Ananya and Liv’s tense faces, it suddenly hits me that there is no time off from this plan. If I’m not extremely careful, the old Harriet Manners will return, and one by one all the hands that have come down are going to start going straight back up again.

Until finally I’m right back where I was last year, except worse.

Because this time it’ll be all my fault.

And I’ll know it.

“Umm …” I say, desperately trying to think. My brain is jittering around: picking up ideas and putting them down again. “Could we maybe do something awesome together next week? A … museum visit? An … art exhibition?” They’re still staring at me. “A … little gathering or something?”

They glance at each other.

“OhmyGodohmyGodohmyGod,” Liv squeaks, lobbing herself at me again. “
Really?
Doyou
mean
itIcan’tbelieveit you’rethebestwillyoureallythrowusa
party
?”

Huh? Where did a
party
come from
?
I meant tea and biscuits. Maybe a slice of chocolate cake.

“Well, I—”

“OhmyGodohmyGodHarriethowareyousoamazing howdoyou
live
tellmesoIcanbreatheyourairandabsorb yourpowersandliveinyourmagickingdom
forever
.”

“Wait,” Liv blinks a few times. “Was that me?”

We all turn round simultaneously to see a pretty blonde girl, perched comfortably on a bollard behind us in silence. Like a hawk: the powerful kind with a pointy beak and muscular legs and a habit of tearing unsuspecting rabbits into pieces.

I haven’t seen Alexa once all week. I’d almost forgotten she was in my year: that’s how utterly invisible she’s been.

She’s not invisible any more.

And as she unsheathes her talons and looks at us steadily, I have a horrible feeling she’s about to destroy everything.

n the 1970s, a man called Michael Lotito ate an entire aeroplane. Bit by bit, he chewed through every part of a Cessna 150: glass, metal, engine, leather and tyres. It took him two years but he finally swallowed all of it.

My hands are starting to sweat, but I’m somehow managing to keep my face composed.

After all, I’ve had more than eleven years of Alexa now. As Lotito proved, you can get through anything with enough practice and a decent set of teeth.

Be brave, Harriet.

“So,” Alexa says smoothly, smiling as I push my shoulders back as far as I can get them and lift my chin, “how goes Project Reinvent Harriet Manners? Is she everything you hoped she’d be and more?”

Ananya and Liv take a step forward until they’re standing on either side of me, like identical bookends. “Of course she is. We just totally
love
her.”

“Harriet’s the
best
.”

“
Isn’t
she just?” Alexa says, her cat-smile curving a little more. “Hasn’t this last week been
so much fun
? I’ve
loved
watching Harriet transform into an icon right in front of my very eyes. It’s like a Disney film or something.”

My stomach suddenly feels like it’s full of aeroplane too. What does
that
mean? Has Alexa been watching me the whole time?

Ugh. It feels a bit like pulling off a shoe and then discovering an enormous cockroach has been sitting inside it for the last six hours.

“Yeah, well, whatever,” Liv says stiffly, putting her hands on her hips. “Harriet’s having a
party.
A
big
party. An
amazing
party.”

“Yup,” Ananya says coolly, staring at her fingernails. “And guess what, Lexi?
You can’t come
.”

OK: tea and biscuits is rapidly spiralling out of control.

“A big
party
?” Alexa says, hopping off the bollard. “Really? That sounds like such a
brilliant
idea. I bet you really blow everyone away. You’ve always had such an incredible imagination.”

I stare at her in amazement.

I know it seems crazy, but it sounds like she really, genuinely means it.
Could
she mean it? Maybe an entire week of being ostracised has made Alexa realise how I’ve felt for the last six years. Maybe this is her way of making amends.

I’d have preferred a traditional apology – maybe a handwritten card with a dolphin on the front – but I’ll take what I can get.

In a flush of hope, I step forward.

“Alexa. It’s more of a … gathering, really. But if you want to come, then … you can. You’re invited. I’d really like you there.”

That last bit isn’t true at all, but baby steps.

“Harriet,” she says, breaking into a wide smile. “I would
love
to come. Thank you
so
much for inviting me. Let’s try and put the past behind us, shall we? It’s time we moved on, don’t you think?”

Alexa kisses my stunned cheek.

“This is
so exciting
,” she whispers into my ear. “I am
beside myself
with anticipation.” Then she gives us all a little wave and saunters down the road, swinging her bag jauntily behind her.

I watch her walk away in bewilderment.

OK … Did my lifelong nemesis and arch-enemy just
kiss
me?

“Well,” Ananya says grumpily when Alexa is finally out of earshot. “I don’t see why you had to invite
her
. But I guess it’s your party, so you can do what you want.”

“Lexi won’t come,” Liv says confidently. “She always says she will and then she never does.”

An old, bright-purple car stops outside the school and India’s head pokes out of the driver’s seat. “Are you getting in or what, BANANA? I draw the line at being your private chauffeur service.”

Wow. India must already be seventeen and she can drive: no
wonder
she has such an air of distinction and gravitas.

Also, she matched her car to her hair.

That is
so freaking cool.

“Coming, Indy!” Ananya calls, waving. Then she turns to me. “This is
so
brilliant, Retty. You’re too good to us, you know that?”

“Eeeeeep!” Liv squeaks, chewing on the end of her ponytail.

“Iwon’tbeabletosleepIcanalreadyfeelitohmygoshwhat amIgoingto—”

“
GET IN THE CAR, MUPPET!
Liv too if she wants,” India shouts, slamming hard on the horn four times. “Are you coming as well, Harriet?”

I shake my head apologetically, and India nods and turns back to fiddle with the radio. Ananya and Liv give me a hug that threatens to permanently change the shape of my windpipe, then climb into the back of the car still chattering excitedly and drive away.

At which point the sixth form door opens and a familiar fluffy head appears, pauses for a few seconds and starts charging in the opposite direction.

So I take a deep breath, tug my satchel on to both my shoulders and begin racing after the only person in the year who
hasn’t
spoken to me in the last five days.

Toby Pilgrim.

mouse’s tail is precisely as long as its body.