All the Broken Pieces (16 page)

“Relax,” he whispered, placing his hand over hers. “You’re making me nervous.”

“It’s just that…they’re usually not… But sometimes when it comes to work stuff, my mom seems—”

Mom entered the room, carrying steaming platters, Dad following behind her, his hands full as well. They set the food on the table and took their seats. The first few minutes of the meal ticked by with little conversation; Liv couldn’t tell for sure, but she thought that Mom was probably giving Dad the silent treatment, and in return, he was keeping his mouth shut to avoid making her angrier.

Oh my gosh, this is so uncomfortable. I shouldn’t have asked Spencer to stay for dinner.
A spike of panic tore through her.
Or told him to ask about Minnesota.
She’d gotten so caught up listening to music and being close to Spencer that she’d forgotten they’d made a plan. A plan that was a really bad idea now that Mom was so pissed off. She turned to whisper to him to abandon it, but then Mom spoke up.

“So Spencer,” she said. “Olivia told you about the accident she was in and all the surgeries she had to have.” Mom hadn’t exactly been happy that he knew, but Liv was worried it would come up and confessed that Spencer knew about the accident.

“She told me a little about it, yes,” Spencer said. “She also mentioned that after she recovered, you guys moved here pretty quickly. I’m surprised you wanted to leave Minnesota behind for Arizona. Especially the Mayo Clinic.” He looked at Dad. “I hear that hospital is hard to get into, since it’s one of the top in the nation. I’d think you’d be bored at the dinky clinic here after working there.”

“Practicing at a big hospital can be very taxing.” Dad placed a hand over Mom’s, and to Liv’s surprise, Mom didn’t pull away. “Victoria and I felt it would be better for our family to move here so she could take some time off, I could work normal hours, and Olivia could continue her recovery in a smaller, safer community.” He smiled at Mom. “It’s been one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.”

What. The. Hell.

No weirdness. Totally calm. Nothing like when she asked about the move.

Spencer glanced over, giving her a
want me to keep going?
look. She felt stupid and frustrated and totally confused.

Maybe I really am going crazy.
Paranoia was listed as a symptom for both bipolar disorder and schizophrenia.

“Now, back to what I was saying about Olivia.” Mom leveled her gaze on Spencer. “Obviously, she has to be careful.”

Liv wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. “Mom, we don’t need to get into this. He knows about all that stuff. We’ll be careful.”

Dad opened his mouth like he was going to say something, but Mom shot him a look and he returned his attention to the food. Apparently their warm fuzzy moment with holding hands and talking about their wonderful move was over.

“She’s already been in one car accident,” Mom continued in that stern, on-a-mission tone. “Her recovery was a long process and she has to take medication on a daily basis. If you’re going to be spending time with her, I think you should be aware that not only does she need to be careful about germs and what she eats, but also that drinking or drugs could be extremely hazardous to her health.”

The temperature in the room was rising by the second.
After being lectured by Mom, he’s never going to want to go anywhere with me again. And let’s not forget the fact that I asked him to interrogate my parents and they passed with flying colors.

Spencer set down his fork and looked across the table at Mom. “I understand, Mrs. Stein, and whenever she’s with me, I’ll take care of her.”

Mom studied him for a torturous, heart-attack-inducing eternity. Then her expression softened and a small smile touched her lips. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.”

Liv was glad to hear it, too. But her joy faded as she wondered if Spencer only looked at her as a good friend. One who needed to be taken care of.

I didn’t want to believe Sabrina, but Keira pretty much confirmed what she said. If he
was
interested, he would’ve made a move by now.

A heaviness centered in her chest. Because she’d been hoping for so much more than chivalry.

…

Liv picked up Spencer’s iPod off the coffee table. She wadded up the headphones and handed it to him, along with his notebook that held the list. “311 aside, I enjoyed the rest of the music.”

“You’re going to like them one day.” Spencer dumped his stuff in his backpack and zipped it up. “Just give it time.”

“Only if you admit you like Katy Perry.” She held up her fingers and pinched them together. “Just a little bit.”

“Never going to happen.”

Liv opened the front door. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.” Leaving the door ajar, she took a few steps outside with him. “Thanks for being cool about this. Coming over to dinner and meeting my parents.”
And please tell me it’s because you want to be more than just friends.

“Honestly, I was a little worried, but it was fine. And dinner was good. But tomorrow, we’re working on your coordination—as safely as possible, of course. I don’t want your mom coming after me.”

“I’m not as fragile as she makes me out to be, you know.” She lifted her chin and put conviction into her voice. “I can take care of myself.”

One corner of his mouth turned up. “Yeah, I can tell by how you act whenever you think you might be bleeding.” He put his hand on her shoulder. “But don’t worry, the last thing I’d call you is fragile.”

She didn’t know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

He gave her shoulder a light squeeze. “I’m glad you gave me a chance even though I was a jerk. Being a loner kind of sucked.”

“Well, you weren’t a complete jerk. You did help me gather my papers on the first day of school.” She took a tentative step toward him. “And everything after that has more than made up for the beginning.”

He leaned closer, his lips moving toward hers. Her heart raced, and she automatically leaned into him.

Then he gave her a hug so short she didn’t even know if it counted, and he stepped back. “See you tomorrow.”

Before she could get out a word or try to put together what had just happened, he was halfway down the sidewalk. She’d been so sure he was going to kiss her, but she didn’t have enough experience to know for sure. His feelings toward her were a mystery; the ache she felt as he drove away, on the other hand, told her all she needed to know about how much she cared about him.

22

Liv sat at the edge of the pool, her feet dangling in the water. “Stick to where you can touch,” she said to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth splashed her. “Come get in with me.”

“I’m working on my tan. Stop splashing.”

“You’re working on getting Andrew’s attention.”

Liv leaned toward Elizabeth. “Shh. Not so loud.” She shook her head. “I should’ve never let you come with me.”

“Then you’d just be the sad girl who came to spy on the lifeguard all alone.”

“That’s already who I am. You’re way too noisy to be a good confidante.”

“Is that how you treat your friends?” Elizabeth asked. “No wonder you don’t have any.”

Liv kicked her foot, sending water over Elizabeth. She laughed as Elizabeth shrieked.

“Oh, look how cute,” a snide voice said.

Even before she turned, she knew it would be Jackie. As always, Amy and Sarah were standing with her.

Jackie tucked her blue stripe of hair behind her jewel-and-ring-adorned ear. “The snitch has no friends so she has to hang out with her little sister. How pathetic.”

It wasn’t like she’d called the cops or reported Jackie’s drug use; she’d simply told her that she wasn’t going to take part in something that could ruin her future. Jackie had been calling her a snitch ever since.

Jackie glanced up at the lifeguard tower, where Andrew sat, looking cute as usual. “You still thinking you have a shot with him? That he’ll want to go out with a snitch?”

Sick and tired of Jackie and all her crap, Liv stood. “You’re the pathetic one. You think you’re cool because you party? If I had a personality like yours, I’d probably need to get wasted all the time, too.”

Jackie sighed. “It’s exhausting always having to listen to you preach about purpose and change and how we should try to make a difference in the world.” She stepped closer. “That’s why you didn’t have friends before I let you join my group, and why you won’t ever have any again. It’s also why Andrew will never go for you.”

Jackie tilted her chin toward Andrew. “He’s into girls who know how to have a good time.” A cruel smile curved her lips. “I showed him one last night while you were sitting at home with your family.”

“You’re such a liar,” Liv said.

“Andrew!” Jackie yelled. When he looked their way, she waved. He grinned. The kind of grin she’d been hoping all day to get from him. Jackie looked back at her. “Gotta go. Unlike you, I have a life.”

Jackie and her followers walked away. Mom had always taught her to stand up for herself; she failed to mention that sometimes making the right decision ends up making your life a living hell.

I can’t believe I used to be friends with her.

Feeling depressed, she turned to tell Elizabeth it was time to head home.

But she wasn’t where she’d been a minute ago.

“Elizabeth?!” Panic tore through her as she looked around. Her heart beat faster and faster as she searched the edges of the pool and still didn’t find her sister.

Crouching down, she peered into the water again. Then she saw the pale skin and dark hair, arms and legs thrashing under the water. Sheer black horror took hold of her. Gaze on Elizabeth, she dove in. She gripped her sister around the waist and pulled her out of the pool.

Elizabeth sputtered and coughed.

“Are you okay?” Liv asked, wiping Elizabeth’s hair off her face.

Elizabeth coughed again. “I slipped, then I couldn’t get up, and I thought I was going to die.”

“I’m so sorry. I just turned for a minute.”

Andrew ran up and squatted across from Elizabeth. “Are you okay?”

Liv shoved him. “You should stop flirting with girls and pay attention to the pool. She could’ve drowned.”

“I saw her right before you dove in.” Andrew put his hand on her shoulder. “You did a good job getting her out.” He returned his attention to Elizabeth. “Feeling better?”

She coughed again, nodded, and looked at Liv. “Are you going to say something or should I?”

“Thanks for your help, Andrew, even though you were too late.” Liv eased Elizabeth to her feet and wrapped a towel across her shoulders. She put her arm around her little sister, thinking she’d never take her for granted again, and headed toward the locker rooms.

Elizabeth shook her head. “You finally had your chance and you yelled at him.”

“That’s because I found out he’s an idiot. Besides, you’re more important.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Elizabeth’s puzzled expression caused her to add, “Plus, he and Jackie have something going on. There’s no reason to chase after a guy who’s obviously not into me.”

Elizabeth put her arm around Liv’s waist. “Any guy who doesn’t see how great you are is an idiot.”

“Thanks. I needed to hear that.” She sighed. “You know, you’re very mature for your age.”

“That’s because I hang out with you. And since we’re being honest, I got that line off a movie I saw on TV the other day.”

“Well, it works.”

“I may be little, but I got your back.”

Liv grinned. “I got yours, too, sis.”

…

Liv smiled as she opened her eyes.
My sister can be a pain, but she always comes through when I need her the most.

But then the last of her dream evaporated, bringing the painful reminder that Elizabeth was just a figment of her imagination.

Unfortunately, the building headache and the hollow feeling in her chest weren’t.

Liv showered, dressed, and went downstairs, following her typical morning routine. Mom already had breakfast out—oatmeal and orange juice today. She told her good morning as she stuck two pieces of bread in the toaster.

Ask her about your sister.

I can’t. I don’t have a sister.

Liv picked up her spoon. Her fist clenched, the handle digging into her palm.
You know something’s not right. Stop hiding from the truth and ask her!
The voice echoed through her head, making it impossible to ignore. It was the voice that usually preached about being smart and bold and independent, but it had never had such strong control over her before. Her fingers wouldn’t uncurl, like her body had decided not to budge until she confronted Mom.

The toast popped up, and Mom grabbed it and placed it on a plate.

Liv licked her dry lips. “Why didn’t you guys ever have another kid?” It was one of those questions that was rude to ask, she knew, but it was also rude to lie to someone with no memory.

Mom dropped the plate. It clattered against the counter and fell into the sink. From the crashing noise she knew it had broken.

“Oh, drat,” Mom said, her voice shaky as she peered into the sink. “I better clean up this mess.”

Liv was on her feet before she knew she was going to stand.
Don’t let her ignore the question.
“Well? Why?”

Mom leaned her hands against the counter and her shoulders slowly deflated. “I told you that the doctor said we couldn’t… It’s a miracle we have you. That’s enough for me. For me and for your father.”

“You never thought of adopting?”

Still, Mom wouldn’t look at her.

“Mom. Come on. We must have talked about this before the accident. I want to know more about our family.”

“I’m happy with the family I have now. Aren’t your father and I good enough?”

Guilt mixed in with determination, and she faltered now that the voice wasn’t driving her forward and her body seemed to be her own again. “Of course you are. I just…” She didn’t know how to finish, so she let the words hang in the air.

“You’re going to be late if you don’t hurry.” Mom took Liv’s pillbox off the counter, dumped Wednesday’s contents into her hand, and extended them to her.

Liv hesitated, looking at the mix of shapes and colors. She recalled one of the first dreams she’d had with Elizabeth, when there’d been a similar pillbox on the dresser. She’d taken the assortment Mom was holding as long as she could remember, never questioning exactly what they were for.

In researching mental diseases, it talked about medications. Maybe some of these pills were supposed to treat bipolar disorder or schizophrenia.
If they are, they’re so not working.

“What’s this gray pill for?”

“It’s Neoral,” Mom said. “Your immunosuppressant.”

“So it would suppress my immune system? I thought my immune system was already weak.”

“It helps after surgery, with… It’s important to take.”

“What about this red-and-yellow one?”

“It’s an antibiotic. To help with the weakened immune system.”

“And this circular white one?”

Mom sighed. “We don’t have time to go over all your medications right now, Olivia. Just take them and finish your breakfast.”

“But—”

“But nothing. You better be ready to go in five minutes, or you’ll be grounded, and that means no spending time with Spencer or anyone else.” Mom stormed out of the kitchen, leaving the shards and toast in the sink.

It was unlike her to leave a mess.

The evading, though…

Mom was a pro at that.