All We Know Is Falling: Fall With Me: Volume One

“And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time.

I want what's yours and I want what's mine.

I want you

But I'm not giving in this time.”

-Goodbye to You, by Michelle Branch

“Just go for it,” My sister tried convincing me. Like she had been. For the last hour…

I scooted the shot glass back across the table to her. “I’m good,” I said for the tenth time.

She threw back the clear blue liquid and slammed the glass back down. “Square,” she said and made the shape with her fingers.

“I have no interest in turning into an alchy at seventeen, Hadley,” I sighed to her. She’d just turned twenty-one and she hadn’t stopped celebrating since the clock struck midnight on her birthday. It was a Hell of a bender.

“Shh,” she waved her hand. “It might loosen ya up. But I bet that’s what you’re scared of. Sooo uptight,” she took another shot of the raspberry flavored Vodka.

“I’m not uptight,” I snapped. She arched a black eyebrow at me. My nose scrunched up and I knew I’d been bested. “Shut up,” I tried to say without laughing.

Hadley poured out two more shots and pushed another at me. I didn’t take it, of course. I never did. I had far too much experience and knowledge about human corruption to take part in any of it. It held no interest for me.

“Hadley,” I heard our mother sigh in her thick Irish accent. Her wild orange hair was tied back in an attempt to tame it, and her amber eyes were narrowed at my sister. “Quit trying to make Aurora drink with you. She’s pure. And that’s entertaining in and of itself. Don’t ruin the anomaly.”

I laughed and Hadley stuck her tongue out at her when Mom turned her back to put the groceries on the kitchen counter.

“I saw that,” Mom said and Hadley’s pale green eyes bugged out. “And there’s more stuff in the car. You girls want to go get it?”

We both rose from the table and crossed our kitchen, then went into the massive living room and out the front door.

Our house was quite large. Mom had a lot of money thanks to her age. She just turned two-hundred and sixteen, so she’d saved up quite a bit. But she didn’t look a day over twenty-two. And that made things complicated.

Though she acted as our mother, she was in reality, our sister. None of us ever knew our mothers. But I was told that I came from Paris. And that was more than our biological father normally told the sibling he chose to raise us.

It was what he always did. The three of us were the daughters of Lucifer. And we were only three of God knows how many. Mom said maybe a hundred or so. The numbers change so much. Apparently some of our siblings like to go around killing the ones that have more power.

Thankfully, neither of us had too much more than what all antichrists get. The basics being, teleportation—using Hell itself as a weigh station—slight mind control. Nothing major, but we can go unseen by humans just as long as we don’t make too much noise.

But often enough, that wasn’t all we got. We would sometimes get some traits from our father. Mom can change her appearance and look like someone completely different. Hadley could read auras. Size up peoples character. We could both sense other demons and what kind they were.

What I could do was slightly more difficult to live with. I could read auras too. But it was so much more than that. I could sense corruption and evil. I could feel it in my bones when I was near it. Sometimes when it was strong, I couldn’t shut it out of my head. I’d learned over the years to completely turn it off. Otherwise it was torture. Feeling all of the evil in the world was overwhelming.

I could also track it. If I focus I can feel a tug, sometimes accompanied by a light depending on the strength of the source. It can bring me to places that the sinful behavior is strong.

“Take this,” Hadley handed me a bottle of milk when we got to the car. “I’ve got this,” she smiled at the bag of cookies that she had in her hands. We got the rest of the groceries and went back to the kitchen.

Hadley sat at the table and started going to town on the cookies while Mom and I stared putting the food away.

“Just like your father,” Mom shook her head. She wasn’t referencing our actual father, but the man who acted as our father for our entire lives. The father that was now dead.

She dipped her head back over the chair so she could see us. “Daddy knew what the good stuff was,” she said with a full mouth.

“That he did,” I smiled. He used to sneak me cookies before dinner every day. Just two. Two for me and two for him. We’d hide in the laundry room so Mom wouldn’t find us.

I couldn’t believe he’d been gone for a year. It felt like yesterday that he was waiting for me in the living room when I came home from school. He’d ask me how my day was and we’d watch one of our shows together.

He was fifty when he and Mom got me. So I didn’t get as much time with him as I needed. I lost him too soon. But he was human.

And humans die on you.

That was what I learned from having to watch my father fade away. Humans don’t last. And sadly, we did. We aged to full maturity and then we stopped. We lived until something killed us. We were immortal. And that was the worst part of all of this.

My mother had been married before, three times total. And odds are she would get married again. She didn’t like being alone. I wasn’t sure how she found the strength to watch the people she loved die, and survive it. I didn’t think I ever could.

So I resigned myself to be alone. Until the day came where I would be lucky enough to fall in love with another immortal being. It wasn’t impossible, but the odds of it happening were slim. But I didn’t mind being alone. I had my family and that was enough for me.

We got all of the groceries put away and I glanced at the clock. I sighed when I saw how late it was.

“Don’t get the blues,” my sister said. “You still have a whole day left of summer.”

It wasn’t enough. But at least I only had one more year before I was done forever.

“Boo,” I said anyway. I sat down and put my knee sock clad feet up on a chair and held my hand out for a cookie. Hadley gave me six. “That’ll do.”

The phone rang and Mom picked it up and answered in the least annoyed tone she could manage. But she rolled her eyes when the lady on the phone spoke.

“Thank you,” Mom said. “I’m aware there is school Tuesday. Are you concerned that she won’t show up?” There was a pause from my mother while the lady assured her that she was calling all parents and guardians. “Yup, okay then. Thanks,” Mom hung up.

“What the fuck was that?” Hadley shoved another cookie in her mouth. “As if a single one of those little bastards isn’t hyperaware that school is just around the corner.”

Mom shrugged. “Happens when the school is small. They care more. For whatever reason.”

She was right, for a school in Southern California, it was pretty small. Maybe six hundred kids all together. I didn’t mind so much. I didn’t need people to socialize with.

“I’m her emergency contact too, right?” Hadley asked.

“Yup. As her aunt,” Mom almost frowned.

Us all being related but having to live with a lie tended to get a little difficult. Hadley looked too old for the lie about her being Mom’s daughter to be believable.

Lucifer took care of his children about as much as I though he might care to. He’d send money every two weeks to his kids over eighteen, extra to the ones who take care of his kids. And he’d take care of the paperwork when the time came to.

But he never does anything out of the kindness of his heart. It was all to keep the secret of our existence under wraps. The money was so we didn’t have to work. The less people we saw on a regular basis, the better the chances of no one noticing we don’t age. 

He’d changed up our family paperwork to say that Hadley was my mom’s sister. Before that, it just said she was her adopted daughter. She was Korean and it was too hard to come up with a believable lie on why an incredibly Irish woman and an African-American man had a Korean daughter. Other than the obvious.

But I looked pale enough to believe that I could be Irish. But the rest of me didn’t really fit with it. Like Hadley and our father, I had jet-black hair. It was almost down to my waist and hung in thick and wavy locks. Hadley’s was just a few inches shorter than mine.

And my eyes were crystal blue. Like no one in our family. I must have gotten them from the woman who gave birth to me. But I guess I’ll never know.

I personally, had only met our father once. There was a bit of an issue a while back with a soul of one of our siblings escaping Hell and stealing a few human bodies. Our father collected all of his children under eighteen and dropped us off to be taken care of by two demons. Those poor girls didn’t know what they were in for. All of the other demons on the planet were called down to Hell, including my mom and sister. Though the Fallen children weren’t made to go. Most of them didn’t know about other demons. You’d think they would catch on…

I found out about the existence of Made demons that day. Apparently there weren’t many and that was why almost no one knew about them. But they were demons that were once human. My father would turn them and make them immortal. They were mostly made to be employees that worked topside for him. According to the girls who watched us. Faith and Shiloh. Both mildly insane from what I gathered, but that might have had something to do with what was sprung on them. Though I got the impression that Faith was always insane.

I met another of our siblings then. His name was Walter and he was a little younger than me. But we kept each other company in the middle of all the chaos. He lived in Wales with his father but since we could teleport, we could meet up any time. It was mostly a matter of finding the time. We did spend some time together this summer. But that was over now that school was back. I hadn’t heard from him in a while though. He must be busy actually having a life and friends. Also trying to come to terms with the events that followed that soul escaping Hell. He was kidnapped, tortured. A long and sad tale.

Hadley gave me another handful of cookies before taking the rest of the box to her bedroom upstairs.

“Rude,” Mom set a hand on her hip. “That girl is the sole reason I have to take secret trips to the store.” She bent down to the turning cabinet and pulled out her hidden box of treats. She took out a snack cake and shook her head in Hadley’s direction.

I laughed.

After I made myself up a real dinner, I went back to my room. My happy place. It was covered in posters and full of books. It was a huge room. More than I’d ever need. But it was still the smallest room in the house. It even had a bathroom in it. That was quite nice.

I changed into my jammies. Bright green matching shorts and a tank top with a pattern that was dancing food at a barbeque. The little hamburgers, hotdogs, and sausages had thought bubbles that said ‘Nice to meat you’. Mom found them ridiculous but I loved them. 

I hopped on my bed and started at my stupid little addiction. I happen to have an unhealthy love for those games where they only give you five lives. I played on my tablet most of the time, but if I ran out of lives in all of my games, I’d switch over to my computer versions. Because I’m a sick, sick girl.

Once in a while I had a habit of screaming at the tablet when I died—just so it knows that it did wrong. And my family has told me that I cursed like a sailor. But that was only when I was mad at a game. None the less, I turned my music up loud so they wouldn’t hear the potential screams over it. I tend to disturb the neighbors.

According to the police.

After I was all done with my games, I put the tablet up to charge and got back into my bed. It was a queen sized, so I could stretch out fairly well. I was the shortest in the house, and I heard about it all the time. But I’m fine with that if it means I fit comfortably in a bed.

I don’t know why they were so cocky. We were all separated by two inches shortest to tallest. I was five-four. Hadley five-six, and Mom five eight. But that was nothing compared to my Dad. The one who raised me. He was six-four. Mom said when she first met him that was what she liked most about him. I guess the Flynn’s are into tall fellas. Hadley tended to go for tall people too.

I chose nothing.

I laid in bed for hours dreading what was waiting for me in the days to come. School was no fun for me. It got easier once I learned to turn off my powers, but before…it was Hellish. There was a lot of evil in a high school. People being cruel for the sake of being cruel. One more reason for me to stay away from humans. They only brought pain and misery.