All Who Dream (Letting Go) (5 page)

I didn’t
know how long I watched him, but apparently it was long enough for
Pippy
to take notice.

Her laugh
jolted me back into reality.

 
“You ready to go?” she asked.

 
“Oh, sure.”
I turned
my head, trying to pretend I was looking at something else—or better yet,
someone
else.

Who am I kidding?
I was a horrible
actress.

As I bent
to retrieve my bag from under the table, I was suddenly aware of the
broad-shouldered man who stood behind me. My pulse quickened.

“Was the
day a success?” Jackson asked.

Cody
skittered past me, holding
Pippy’s
hand as he chatted
away toward the exit door. Though the room was filled with people conversing,
my ears were tuned-in to his voice.

I gulped.
“Yes. I’m shocked with how many women showed up.” I smiled. “It was really
amazing.”

The
corner of his mouth curled slightly, but before my stomach could react with an
acrobatic flip, Jackson turned sharply, and exited the building.

I
followed, feeling more like an unwanted puppy than the up and coming author
Pinkerton had painted me to be.

Stepping
out into the sunlight, I watched as Jackson bent and spoke to Cody. I couldn’t
quite make out his words, but in response, Cody let out a rapid fire of
factoids.

Sue
Bolan, the adoption author, tapped me on my shoulder to ask me about my
signings and fans. I pried my eyes from Jackson and Cody, and gave Sue my
undivided attention as we discussed the highlights of the bookstore—that is,
until her ride pulled up a few minutes later.

Turning
my attention toward Cody once again, I saw it—a sight that nearly caused my
knees to liquefy.

A smile
.

Jackson
Ross was smiling at Cody. And it was exquisite.

Cody giggled
as Jackson caught my eye. He sobered immediately.

 
“There’s Walt!” Cody said.

I tore my
gaze from the brooding man in front of me just in time to see Walt pull up.

 
“Will you be riding back with us to the
apartments, Mr. Ross?”
Pippy
asked him.

He
glanced at me before his eyes landed on
Pippy
once
more. “No.”

And
that’s when the thought hit me—like a brick to the chest.

Feeling
like an idiot, I addressed Mr. Ross, “Oh gosh, you probably need your driver
back! Cody and I are perfectly fine to take a taxi—it’s no problem at all. I’m
sorry for any inconvenience we may have caused you.”

Pippy
opened her mouth, but Mr. Ross put a hand on her
shoulder, not a word escaped before he nodded toward me.
 

“Don’t be
late to dinner.”
 

By the
time I comprehended his words he’d already climbed into a yellow cab. Seconds
later, he was but a blur in a sea of buttery traffic. It dawned on me then what
had just taken place.

Other
than issuing orders, the man had practically stared right through me! One
minute he seemed to despise my very presence, while the next he seemed to not
even know I was there.
 

For all
the years that I had begged God to make me invisible, all the years I had
prayed to slide under the radar by the one man to whom I had so stupidly bound my
life…being ignored was the antithesis of what I wanted now. I wanted to be
noticed—by Jackson Ross no less.

Why do I even care what he thinks?

I slid into
the backseat of the car before I allowed myself to answer.

I did not
enjoy primping. It was one thing to get ready for a day of book signing, but it
was something else altogether to get ready for a night of introductions and
first impressions at a formal dinner party. After I slipped into my red dress
and heels, I took careful steps to pin my hair up and darken my makeup
application by a shade—the way Rosie had shown me. I topped off preparations
with red lipstick. Not fire engine red; Audrey Hepburn red.

“Whoa, Mom!
You look really different!” Cody exclaimed as I
walked into the living space. He sat on the couch in khaki pants and a blue
button-down shirt.

I was
really starting to hate the word
different
.
I scrunched my face at him.

“Like
really pretty
,” he said, beaming.

My heart
melted into a puddle.

“Well,
I’m quite lucky to be escorted by the most handsome man in New York tonight.” I
winked at him.

“Who?
Mr. Ross?” he asked, wide-eyed.

I almost
choked on the air I sucked in.

“No—you!
You crazy boy.”
I laughed,
ignoring the knot forming in my stomach.

“Oh.
Right.”

He took
my hand as we walked out the door. I shook my head, grounding myself. If only I
could escape the anxiety that was taking up residence in my core.

When
Pippy
called to confirm Walt would pick us up as planned,
she said she had to stay back and finish up some last minute work but planned
to meet us at the event a bit later.

No
mention of Mr. Ross.

As the
evening was young, the sky was still bright. I studied the city from my window
in the car. Maybe the shopping outing tomorrow might include some sort of tour.
Apart from Cody’s fact drills, I knew next to nothing about New York and was
anxious to see it. The sounds, the sights, the smells were all so foreign to
anything I knew. Though Dallas was a major U.S. city, it was nothing like this.
New York was its own unique breed.

We pulled
up to a beautiful building that seemed to be inspired by French-Colonial
architecture. Everything felt rich, elegant and luxurious.

We checked
our names on the guest list then entered the opulent foyer. Cody linked arms
with me like a gentleman, and together we walked toward the banquet hall.

Pippy
had said this dinner would be full of upper
management at Pinkerton, along with their affiliates. I wasn’t expecting a
large crowd, but again I was proven wrong. The room was swimming with
bodies—all dressed to the nines. I patted Cody’s linked arm, reassuring him this
party was going to fine. Really, it was me who needed that reassurance.

Within
thirty seconds of stepping into the extravagant space, filled with crystal
chandeliers and beautifully-set tables, a tall, attractive man with dark,
spikey hair approached us.

 
“You must be Pinkerton’s secret weapon—Angela
Flores, I presume? I’ve heard so much about you. Dee and I go way back.”

I laughed
softly. “Oh, I don’t know about that—Mr.?”

 
“
Vargus
.
Stewart
Vargus
. I’m the Chief Operating Officer at
Pinkerton,” he said, shaking my hand.

 
“Well it’s nice to meet you Mr.
Vargus
. This is my son, Cody.”

 
“It’s nice to meet you, partner,” he said to
Cody. “Let me introduce you to some folks and then we can find your table for
the evening.”

I’m not
sure how many people I met—but there was no earthly way I could remember all
the names and faces. Mr.
Vargus
escorted us
everywhere. He seemed friendly and eager to help me settle into the
crowd—unlike another certain person who’d made my acquaintance of late.
Finally, he led us to our table then kissed my hand gently before making his
way back to his own.

It was
then that I saw
Pippy
flitting across the floor in
her black stilettos, holding one edge of her long, emerald gown. How the girl
could move so quickly in heels that tall I had no idea. Her smile was
contagious as she found me.

 
“Hi! Wow, you look beautiful, Angie! I was
hoping someone would take you under their wing until I got here.” She looked
around briefly and then frowned.
“Although I
kinda
had someone else in mind for the job.”
Her
last words were mumbled, but I didn’t miss her meaning. Her face held an
unmistakable look of disappointment.

She noticed Jackson’s disdain for me, too,
then.

I
swallowed, my face burning with fresh humiliation.

Until her
statement, I was still holding onto a thread of hope that I was assuming too
much—making presumptions about Jackson based on my own experiences with the
opposite sex. But apparently I was spot on. Jackson Ross didn’t like me. And
the worst part was
,
he didn’t even
know
me! Suddenly, I thought of the
“feeling chart” we used in small group at
The
Refuge
. It took me only a millisecond to identify the emotion I was
currently experiencing: anger.

In my
head, a full-on toddler tantrum raged.
Pippy
smiled
apologetically. I hoped she wouldn’t make excuses for him—he was a big boy.
Thankfully, she pursed her lips together and turned to Cody instead.

 
“Cody, you will love this food—it is
scrumptious,”
Pippy
began. “Have you ever had
escargot?”

 
“
Ewww
…no
way.
I know what that is. You can’t trick me.” Cody scrunched up his
nose.

Pippy
laughed and threw her hands up in mock-surrender,
“Touché! I forgot what a smart boy your mom raised! She claimed you were very
bright. I guess she doesn’t lie.”

 
“Nope.
My mom
never
lies,” he said, smugly.

I kissed the
top of his head as my stomach rolled.

I lie to keep me safe

I lie to keep me sound

I lie even when there’s no one else around

I lie to make it better

I lie to make it right

I lie in the hope it won't turn into a fight

I lie when I'm scared

I lie when I'm hurt

I lie to avoid the flames though I'll still
be burnt

I lie when I'm sad

I lie when I'm weak

I lie just to prove I still have a voice
that speaks

I lie to be loved

I lie to protect

I lie to everyone I know yet they all
suspect

I saw him
during dinner.

Every
female in the room looked up when Jackson entered. An exotic-looking woman with
dark skin and even darker hair rose to greet him. She kissed him on each cheek
before escorting him to her table. Something hot burned in my chest as I pulled
my gaze away to glare at my cheesecake.

I
hated
cheesecake.

I took a
bite, willing myself to enjoy the flavor.

I did not
enjoy the flavor.

I jabbed
my fork into the creamy mound and took another bite.

 
“Miss Flores?”

Lifting my
eyes from the now massacred dessert, I found Stewart
Vargus
standing at my table. He looked from me to
Pippy
.

 
“Hello,
Pippy
,” he
said, nodding to her.

Pippy’s
gaze darted to the table that held Mr. Ross.
“Hey, Mr.
Vargus
.”

 
“May I have a word with you, Miss Flores?”
Stewart asked and offered me his hand.

I glanced
at
Pippy
. She seemed to be saying so much with her
eyes, but I understood none of it.

 
“I’ll stay here with Cody,” she said
hesitantly then turned to Cody and engaged him in conversation.

The next
thing I knew, I was standing up, and Stewart’s hand was on my lower back,
propelling me toward the far corner of the room. People were starting to rise
from their chairs and form small social circles again, but my attention was
focused on the unwanted touch that was burning a hole in my spine. I took two
steps to the side, and he dropped his hand immediately. I exhaled, feeling the
panic rush from my body.

 
“Miss Flores, I was hoping we could set up a
meeting at my office sometime during the next week. I can have my assistant
speak with
Pippy
to arrange it. I know you’re on a
fairly tight tour schedule, but I think there are a few things we should
discuss…about your book contract.”

 
“Oh? Can you be a tad more specific Mr.
Vargus
?”

Before he
could answer, my phone vibrated inside my clutch purse. Mr.
Vargus
gave a quick nod of his head, indicating I should check the caller. After a
quick glance at
Pippy
and Cody who were still at the
table looking at Cody’s iPad, I slid the phone out. I knew the area code but
not the number.

 
“May I?” I asked him.

 
“Certainly, I’ll be in contact,” Mr.
Vargus
said then walked away.

Slipping
into the hallway I answered the phone.

 
“Hello?”

 
“Is…is this Angela?” A shaky, female voice
asked on the other end.

 
“Yes, this is Angela. May I ask who’s
speaking?”

 
“This…this is Jenny. We met a few weeks ago at
The Refuge
.”

Her face
appeared instantly in my mind’s eye. I had spent nearly an hour listening to
her heartbreaking story last month. I remembered her well.

 
“Yes, hi, Jenny.
How
are you? Is something wrong, sweetheart?”

I walked
down the hall and through a door that led to an outside exit.