Allie's War Season Four (112 page)

Something in the look felt like a real threat that time.

Then Revik turned, and he was walking back down the pier without looking back.

His light felt completely shielded now, closed up tighter than a vault.

I hadn’t felt him like that in a long time, either. Well, apart from when we were on a job, and then I wasn’t usually the one being shut out.

Once he was out of earshot, I didn’t wait. Walking directly up to the door of the guardhouse, I blocked it unabiguously, holding either edge of the open doorway with white-knuckled hands. I stared unapologetically at the green and violet-eyed seer who stood inside, not bothering to hide my scan that time, or to be particularly polite about it.

“All right,” I said. “Explain.”

“My name is Dalejem, mistress. I––”

“I got that much out of Balidor,” I said, cutting him off. “Your name means nothing to me, brother...and I suspect you already know that’s not what I’m asking you.” I bit my lip, fighting to calm my voice. “Who are you...really?”

“I did not lie to you. I am one of the Children of the Bridge.”

“Which means...what? Precisely?”

The older seer exhaled, running a hand through his long, dark hair. “We are an old sect, Esteemed Sister,” he said, his voice slightly less guarded. “I was not aware of them at all until I was chosen to be a member. That occurred several decades ago now, in my three hundredth year. I was in the Adhipan prior to that, which is how I know brother Balidor.”

“And who is your leader?” I said, widening my stance slightly.

He only looked at me.

“Really?” I said. “We’re going to play this game?”

“I cannot tell you that, Esteemed Sister. I am sorry, but I cannot.”

I fought to read it off his light, but couldn’t. I was beginning to think he had help with the shielding, but even if he did, he was still good at it. Annoyingly good.

“Then you probably won’t be surprised that I can’t trust you,” I said.

Dalejem’s eyes met mine, right before he exhaled, shaking his head, once. “No, sister, I am not surprised. However, I would think you could trust your husband...and brother Balidor.”

I fought back a harder flush of rage, unsuccessfully.

I bit my lip, but my silence didn’t last long, either.

“You probably shouldn’t be invoking my marital relationship right now, brother,” I said, my voice lower, and a lot colder. “...Or telling me whether and how I should trust my husband. Unless you really want some body part of yours broken...or perhaps removed.”

I saw his eyes flinch.

To his credit, the infiltrator’s mask didn’t waver apart from that, though.

Definitely Adhipan training.

“You must do as you see fit, Esteemed Sister,” he said then, his voice neutral.

“Really?” I said, still having to fight to keep the fury out of my voice. “Must I? Well, perhaps you can tell me this. Why is my husband having to tell you to keep your hands off him, brother? What makes you think you can touch
any
bonded mate inappropriately...much less mine?”

Silence fell on the darkened guardhouse.

“Well?” I said. “You were doing so well. A few things you said just now actually made sense. Don’t lose your nerve now.”

He started to make the respectful sign of the Bridge, but that only pissed me off more.

“Don’t give me that obsequious crap,” I snapped, gripping the doorway tighter. “If you’re such a big follower of mine, you should know I’m not fond of bullshit games...especially from someone who’s already given me a pretty solid reason to dislike them.”

Pausing on that, I made my voice unambiguous once more.

“Answer the question,” I said. “How do you know Revik?”

He flinched openly that time, and my skin flushed with heat when I realized it was because I’d used Revik’s given name.

“Are you going to answer me...?” I began angrily.

“It is not for me to say...” he cut in, his voice hesitant again.

“Then who should I ask, brother?” I gestured sharply with a hand, indicating the small guardhouse. “Is there someone
else
in here who asked for a private moment with
Syrimne d’ Gaos
, just so they could put their hands on him?”

There was a silence.

The seer didn’t drop his gaze.

“I meant you should probably talk to your husband,” he said then, his voice more gentle.

I fought with how to answer that, and found I couldn’t. Shock sparked through my light. Shock, or maybe rage, I honestly couldn’t tell anymore. I found myself remembering what Revik had said to this seer, what I’d practically walked in on in those few seconds.

That anger worsened when I remembered Revik trying to pull me away from this same piece of shit seer, almost like he was trying to protect him.

Swallowing, Dalejem averted his eyes.

In those few seconds, I saw color rise to his cheeks, too.

I was about to try again, when he looked back at me, meeting my gaze directly once more, his green and violet eyes suddenly grave. His expression and light held significantly less evasion that time, too, to the extent that I found myself holding his stare.

“I humbly apologize, Esteemed Sister,” Dalejem said, his voice low and openly apologetic. “...Truly. I implore you to forgive me for what you inadvertantly witnessed. I just...” He hesitated again, coloring more as he shook his head, averting his gaze. “I forgot myself, sister. There is no excuse. I would never intentionally harm you...or the Sword. I meant it, when I claimed to serve you above all others...even above him. I meant it with all of my heart, Esteemed Sister...”

“You have a pretty fucked-up way of showing it, brother,” I said.

I wasn’t done, but he headed me off again, his voice and light gentle once more.

“I know.” He held up his hands, his eyes still pleading. “I am sorry. Truly. Please accept my apology...and know that I will accept any retribution you see fit.”

I let out a humorless snort.

Even so, I couldn’t shake it off.

I couldn’t even make sense of what was wrong with me, not in a way I could put into words apart from the obvious. I fought to control my mind and light, to think through what he was saying, what I felt off him, what I’d felt off Revik...what I thought I would even accomplish at this point by continuing to bully and interrogate this complete stranger.

It hit me that I was shaking.

I was actually shaking, and I could tell by the strange flares in the darkness as I stared at him that my eyes were starting to glow again, too.

I didn’t know if it was all anger, but anger was definitely the part I was feeling the most clearly. Rage, really...so much that I was having trouble holding eye contact with him, especially standing this close. Some part of me wanted to shake him, to force him to tell me who the hell he was, what he wanted from Revik, how they knew each other, why he was really here.

Why the hell he’d been
touching
him.

I realized suddenly that I needed to walk away.

I needed to walk away from this.

Now.

Stepping out of the doorway, I let go of the edges of the doorframe, still fighting to control my light, to extract it from his. I didn’t look at him when I next spoke. Even so, the sound of my own voice surprised me, if only because I barely recognized it.

“Stay the fuck away from him,” I said, my voice low.

I didn’t bother to threaten him out loud, but the subtext was definitely there, and I wasn’t the only one who heard it. That time, it sickened me a little. I didn’t look at the other seer’s face long enough to gauge his reaction, however.

I also didn’t wait for him to answer.

Instead I turned my back on him, just like Revik had done a few moments prior. I didn’t look back as I began to walk.

Making my way rapidly back down the pier, I wrapped my arms almost painfully around my own chest, and fought to shut down my light, at least until I could think straight again. I tried not think about the fact that I’d just flipped out.

Like really flipped out.

Maybe worse than I had in as long as I cared to remember.

Even less than the flipping out itself, though, did I want to think about
why
I’d flipped out, or what I’d seen in Revik’s face or in his light in those few seconds after he’d felt me there, watching him argue with a seer he’d never even mentioned to me before.

I also tried not to think about the fact that I would probably flip out again, as soon as I got my husband alone where I could turn the full force of my crazy on him.

7

JEALOUS

IT DIDN’T FEEL like I was talking to that other seer for very long.

Even so, when I reached the end of the pier, only Balidor stood there.

He looked at me warily, as if wondering what I’d done.

I didn’t feel him relax until a few seconds later...right around the same time I felt Dalejem leave the guardhouse and walk down the pier towards the shore. I didn’t turn to look, but I felt Balidor’s light shift, even as the seer moved away. I felt a pulse of relief off of Balidor’s light, too, tangible enough that I snorted.

“What?” I said, my voice still harder than it probably should have been. “Did you really think I’d snapped his neck, ‘Dor?”

Balidor’s gaze stopped following what must have been Dalejem, although I didn’t look over my shoulder to confirm it that time, either.

I watched as Balidor thought about my words.

He smiled slightly as he did, then clicked under his breath, looking back at me.

“I’ll admit, the thought crossed my mind, Esteemed Sister,” he murmured, sounding sincere enough to make me bristle a little.

A smile still tugged at the edges of his mouth, but it didn’t touch his eyes. Those same gray eyes flickered over me in the pause after he spoke, and suddenly he dropped the formal, Adhipan leader guy character he normally wore. He turned back into the man I knew, the one I’d been friends with once. The one I was still friends with, come to think of it, even if we hardly ever got a chance to talk in a real way anymore.

“I’ve never seen you like this,” he said. “Are you all right, Allie?”

Something about the pure sincerity in the question and the thread of worry behind it caused me to exhale in a near-sigh. Rubbing my face with one hand, I sighed again, still fighting to calm down, although I felt some of my anger already deflating.

“I don’t know,” I admitted. “That didn’t help. You know...with this other...you know, crap...” Biting my lip, I stared down at the wooden pier by my feet, trying to put that larger feeling into words. “I’m talking apart from that joker,” I added, motioning vaguely behind me. “I’m talking about the List seers disappearing. I’m talking about Revik’s light. I’m talking about Lily, and Shadow...and Cass. I feel hunted, ‘Dor...”

Feeling what might have been the beginnings of a joke off him, I looked up, cutting him off with my eyes, words and light.

“...More than usual,” I added, sharper. “We’re falling behind again. Shadow’s getting ahead of us. Unless you just believe in bad luck.”

Balidor’s expression grew thoughtful. I could feel him wanting to speak. I felt him hesitating on words, as if trying to decide what to say...right before he let go of whatever it was, his eyes returning to the other end of the dock.