Allie's War Season Four (179 page)

Not like everyone didn’t look at Cass now and then.

Revik had looked at her.

Forcing that thought out of my head as my pain abruptly worsened, I started to pull away from Revik himself, almost subconsciously that time, but he tightened his grip on my shoulder, holding me against him. I let him hold me, willing that other pain to dissipate, to unravel around me as I let the echo of those thoughts fade.

I focused on Jaden again, somewhere in that.

Feeling the sexual desire emanating off his light in the next handful of seconds, I realized he might be misconstruing my stare, and averted my eyes. Even so, I couldn’t avoid the rest of what I’d felt in those few seconds. The truth was, a lot more of Jaden’s sexual desire felt aimed at me, specifically, than I really wanted to think about. I could feel it there even now. I also realized it had been there for weeks, far more than I’d been letting myself notice in a real way, despite Revik’s occasional snide comment.

I didn’t let myself look at Jorag at all. Or Dalejem. Or Jon.

I still felt things off all of their lights that I wished I hadn’t.

It hit me suddenly that my parents had been in the room, too. Even as I thought about them, though, I realized I couldn’t feel them anymore. Before I could stop myself, I looked over at where they’d been seated next to Balidor and Tarsi. Both chairs were empty.

I stared at the empty chairs, and felt a profound relief.

Revik held me tighter.
Yeah, your father left. Kali followed him.

He sounded relieved, too. He also sounded nervous, I noticed.

It hit me in those few seconds that he was afraid of my father.

Meaning my biological father, Uye.

The thought might have been funny under different circumstances, but instead it only brought back another flush of anger. I found myself remembering us sitting together on that beach, and the fact that Uye’s protectiveness hadn’t been aimed at me so much as his wife. I definitely didn’t get the sense that it was Kali he didn’t trust in that equation.

I felt a pulse of heat off Revik at that, but I pushed it away.

That’s not true anymore,
Revik sent anyway, ignoring my attempts to push him off.
It may have been true once, but it’s not now. He’s worried about you now, Allie.

I didn’t answer.

I found my eyes shift towards where Dalejem had been sitting, and found that he had left, too. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that, either. All of these people walking out, because they hated the idea of Revik touching me.

My own damned husband.

Allie...
Revik sent it softly, blowing heat at me.
Allie, I love you. I adore you, wife. More than anything. None of that matters to me, I swear it. I only care about your father because I strongly suspect
you
will care, once you get over being so angry at them.

Forcing myself to exhale, I nodded. Even though I shoved aside the thing he’d said about Uye, I could feel the glimmer of truth there.

I felt it around Kali, too, and stopped, blanking my mind.

Yeah,
Revik sent with a sigh.
I know it is her you are really mad at.

I didn’t answer that, either. My eyes remained on the group in front of me. I felt a near hostility coming off my own light, even as I caught glimpses of eyes avoiding mine.

I didn’t feel anything off of Wreg, really.

Jon felt deeply embarrassed, though, and like he was wishing he’d left, too.

Even Varlan’s light had a charge to it that I’d never seen in him before. That charge bled through his normally impenetrable shield, which was something in and of itself. Like with a few of the female seers, most of that charge seemed to be aimed at Revik. Even as I fought a pale stab of jealousy from watching the older seer check out my husband, I saw Varlan’s attention linger briefly on Raddi, too, who sat on the other side of the brushed steel table.

Then again, Raddi was also pretty hot.

Feeling a dart of anger off Revik, I glanced up at him, smiling in spite of myself. Feeling his lack of returning humor, I merged my light deeper into his, closing my eyes and feeling his whole arm and body tense when it made both of our pain worse.

You can’t seriously be worried,
I chided him.

He pressed a not-subtle erection against the small of my back.

You’re really going to check out another male right now, wife?
His words sent more pain through my light, maybe because I felt the heat behind that sharper edge, or maybe because he held me tighter, pressing his cock against me more deliberately.
Right in front of me? That seems like a good idea to you? Really?

I clicked at him from inside my mind, half in humor as I fought to hold my light, to keep it marginally separate from his. To pretend this was normal, maybe. That this was just us, flirting, being our normal crazy kind of possessive.

Even as I thought it, I nudged him with my arm.

For the gods’ sake,
I sent, still soft.
I don’t think you need to worry. I can barely stand to be in the same room with you, husband.

His pain coursed higher. His other arm slid around my waist, his hand gently caressing my side even as he murmured back into my light.

You were staring at Jaden...
he accused me quietly.

I softened my body against his.
You can’t be serious. You’re not really serious, are you?

I’m serious that you’re asking for another fucking spanking,
he sent, quieter still.
Maybe a harder one this time. Maybe with more than just my hand...

My pain abruptly worsened.

Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only seer in the room to have that reaction.

A few expressions shifted on the seers who still remained seated in front of us, pretty much right after Revik sent that last string of words.

I saw Balidor’s expression tighten, just before he averted his gaze, his face flushed down to his neck. I saw a faint smile touch Varlan’s lips, and what might have been Loki turning a darker shade of red even compared to what his face had looked like before. I felt Loki thinking about Gina then, thinking about her loudly, with visual aids, and I found myself thinking that she’d probably be in for a bit of a shock when he went to see her later today.

I clamped down even harder on the shield around me and Revik.

Regardless, I still felt my face and neck grow hotter as that pause stretched.

Of course, even in my embarrassment, my self-control didn’t exactly improve. I pressed deeper against Revik’s body, fighting the flush of pain that wound back through both of our lights. His hand tightened on my shoulder once I realized what I was doing and stopped. I felt more than saw him thinking about what he’d said, even as he tried to keep it out of his light, or at least away from where the others might feel it. He didn’t have a lot of success though. I felt his light slip out of control right before his aleimi wound even deeper into mine.

You still want to watch me give one of them head, wife?
he asked, his voice in my head softer still.
Because I think we might get a few volunteers if you asked now...

I didn’t answer, but felt my face flush up to the roots of my hair.

In the same set of seconds, I avoided a suddenly much more interested glance from Raddi, as well as a significantly less subtle one from Jorag.

Great. Now I could feel Raddi wanting Revik, too.

Even as I thought it, I found myself glancing at Tarsi for the first time, conscious of an even deeper embarrassment when I remembered that she was still sitting there, watching and listening to all of this. Being Revik’s only living relative and a sight mentor for me, Tarsi had always functioned as a kind of grandmotherly or great-aunt type figure for me.

Something about remembering an actual family member sitting there also reminded me of Jon, who now looked as bright red as Loki. The combination finally got me to pull my head together. For real, I mean.

No way in hell was I letting this turn into some kind of group sex thing with Jon and Tarsi here.

Behind me, Revik let out a low snort of humor.

He hadn’t been the only one to hear, that, either. Their eavesdropping ended up being a good thing that time, however. I heard Jax snort a laugh right after Revik did.

I saw Balidor smile and roll his eyes, too... and I saw Pagoj and Yumi do the same.

When I glanced around the room, I saw that humor reflected on a few other faces, including Tarsi’s... and Wreg’s.

Thank god,
I couldn’t help thinking.

At that, Wreg laughed aloud in his deep voice, which prompted Vik and Neela to join him, until the whole table more or less busted up.

I knew at least some of that was nerves and embarrassment, but I didn’t care. Anything to end the awkward silence that preceded it. Watching them all smile, I smiled back until I remembered that foreign presence I’d felt and tensed, feeling my throat tighten.

I decided to dive in before things got weird again.

“Well?” I said, fighting to keep my voice clear, and marginally commander-like. “Did you get anything off of that?”

Hearing a few more snickers, that time from my severe understatement and possibly my choice of words, I fought to smile, to turn things more deliberately humorous, and failed.

“I hope so,” I added with that fake smile. “...Because if not, we’d better do the next session in separate rooms.”

Seeing the exchanged looks around the table, I realized that had come out way wrong. I flushed, waving off my own words.

“...Or at least somewhere that we’re not in danger of killing anyone... or blowing up the ship,” I added, to clarify.

Instead of making them smile, or even shifting things into a more strategic and military tone, I felt all remaining humor dissipate at my words.

I also saw Varlan and Balidor both look at Tarsi, nearly at the same time.

She didn’t return their stares.

Instead, her clear eyes swiveled between mine and Revik’s. She made a vague, somehow dated gesture with one pale hand. That same hand––as well as the one resting on the table next to it, poking out of the loose sleeves of an embroidered blue and gold robe––looked strangely small to me all of a sudden. It also looked frail. And old.

It hit me in the same set of seconds that Tarsi
was
old.

It made her seem incredibly vulnerable to me suddenly, in a way I’d never let myself contemplate while Vash was still alive.

“Bite me, Esteemed Sister,” she said conversationally.

Forcing another smile, I rolled my eyes at her, clicking.

She wasn’t finished.

“Yes,” she said in her accented voice, quirking an eyebrow at me before she gave Balidor a look. “We saw a few things, while you and your husband act like great big adolescents who didn’t just have loud, uncivilized sex an hour ago, where
some
of us can hear it.”

Despite the faint humor in her tone, her eyes grew more serious.

“You sure you want to hear this, Bridge? Right now? Here?”

My jaw hardened. I didn’t glance back at Revik, but I felt his fingers tighten on my shoulder. When I didn’t speak, Tarsi let out a purring kind of sigh.

“I suppose you’re right,” she said. “No point in hiding any of this, now.”

She glanced at Balidor. While I read nothing in his face, I felt him agree with whatever Tarsi said to him, right before she turned back to us.

“You are fighting him,” Tarsi said. She drummed her fingers on the table, which somehow felt more comforting than impatient. “He is trying to pull you apart. Both of you are fighting him. You are fighting him very hard.”

I stared at her, feeling my light react. It snaked around me in sharper currents and waves, enough that I knew some part of me already understood her words, even if the full story hadn’t made it to my mind yet.

I glanced over my shoulder at Revik when his fingers tightened painfully. His face remained unreadable. I felt reactions in his light that told me otherwise, but I didn’t try to read those either, or any of his actual thoughts.