Allie's War Season Four (6 page)

July 15, 2007

San Francisco, California

“WHAT DO YOU think?” I ask her.

I bite my lip, staring at my reflection in the mirror. The dress looks different on me than I remembered when I tried it on in that thrift store in the Mission. Now, in the dimmer light of my old bedroom at my mom’s house, that same dress, which seemed so cool and antique-y and unique seems to make my bust look smaller, my hips wider, my legs shorter compared to my body. I can see the fabric creasing strangely around my waist. Instead of forest green, it looks more like a muddy gray in this light.

Turning sideways, I try to decide if I like that view better or worse.

I look like a kid. A kid pretending to be an adult.

My mother comes up behind me, laying a hand tentatively on my shoulder.

She helped me with my hair, getting it to behave enough to pin it into an upsweep with hairpins tipped by different-colored glass beads. The effect was supposed to be elegant, but somehow, I can only see the messy parts, the parts where my unruly, bleached white hair escapes all of my mother’s attempts to make it look like something it’s not. I know it’s not mom’s fault; she’s able to work miracles with her own hair. Then again, my mom’s hair is beautiful, a dark, heavy mass of curls that look good up or down, or even in one of her casual, knotted ponytails that she manages without a mirror while she’s working.

I feel like a frump next to her.

I can’t even comfort myself I’ll grow up to look more like her: I’m adopted.

More than that, there is something missing as I stare at my reflection. My mom looks like a woman whereas I look like a kid, even past my chronological age. A kid with all the sharp bits pointing in the wrong directions. Too small to resemble anything remotely close to one of the sex symbols I’ve seen in magazines and feeds all of my life. No real curves. Nothing any guy would like, much less Jaden, who seems to stare hardest at the girls who look the opposite of me.

But this was his idea. He wanted to do this. He made the appointment, and yeah, it was at the Elvis church in Portland, but for him, that was romantic. He loves Elvis.

“You look beautiful,” my mom assures me.

I’m twenty-two years old. I’ve just graduated college. I shouldn’t need reassurance from my mom anymore, but I do. My dad’s been dead for five years now.

Five years, two months, three days.

“Are you sure?” I ask her, glancing up at her face. Her brown eyes hold so much love, I bite my lip, suddenly fighting emotion. “Mom...don’t.”

“I can’t help it.” Using her fingers, she wipes her eyes when they grow suddenly bright. She fights to smile, but all I see are those tears, the grief and love and fear that lives behind them. “I’m sorry, honey. But are you sure you want to do this?”

Her voice holds a deeper worry, a hesitation that tells me she’s afraid to ask, afraid to interfere, but afraid not to, too.

“...Are you positive, Allie-bird?” she says.

I hesitate, too, feeling that thread of doubt worming into my own mind.

I nod then, looking back in the mirror. “I’m sure.”

“You’re so young,” she says. “You’ve hardly even had any
boyfriends.
Marriage is a big step.” Hesitating, as if still unsure if she should go on, she adds, “Are you sure, Allie? Are you sure Jaden is ready for this? That he’s the right one for you?”

Swallowing, I look at myself in the mirror.

Studying myself from a few more angles, I push my shoulders back, and decide the dress looks better that way. If only I can remember to keep them like that, as soon as I leave the mirror.

“I’m sure,” I tell her again.

I look up at her, smiling. Again, the look on her face hits at something in my heart, some shockingly vulnerable part of me, a part that makes me feel like a little girl all over again. I see myself suddenly in her eyes, and realize that little girl is all she sees.

“I’m sure mom,” I tell her, squeezing her fingers. “I love you. And I love Jon. A lot. But you don’t need to worry about me, either of you, and anyway––”

“––I DON’T WANT to hear it,” Revik warned.

The younger seer’s full mouth curled into a frown. He started to speak again, but before he could get out the words, Revik shook his head, once. His own jaw hardened when he found he understood. He spoke over the younger male’s expression without bothering to reach out with his light for the specific objections in Maygar’s mind.

“––I told you. I don’t want to hear it,” he said.

The younger seer opened his mouth.

“––I mean it, Maygar,” Revik growled. “I don’t care.”

Maygar’s frown deepened, even as anger rose to his dark brown eyes.

“No excuses,” Revik said, reminding him of the agreement they’d made when they started these sessions. “...Now, try it again. From the beginning. Or I start training you the way I was taught. No modifications.”

Maygar’s eyes hardened more, becoming brown stones in his high-cheekboned face.

“Yes,” Revik said, his voice colder. “You’ll like it less than this. Significantly less.”

Maygar glanced at the one-way window, right before he looked back at Revik. Something in the gesture conveyed helplessness, which only managed to anger Revik more. He hit at the younger seer with his light, until he had his full attention again.

“Balidor’s not going to help you,” he warned, resting his hands on his hips. Lifting one, he gestured towards the same one-way window etched into the organic face of the room’s wall. “No one’s going to fucking help you, Maygar. You said you wanted this, and I have neither the time to waste nor the inclination to pretend I give a damn about your feelings of inadequacy.”

He gestured around the broader room, a nearly featureless square cell they’d built in the basement of the four-story Victorian.

A good chunk of his leadership team now lived in the same building, but mainly slept upstairs. Revik knew plans existed to move the whole operation a few hundred...if not a few thousand...miles inland of either of the two main coasts. He approved of the overall strategy, but he wasn’t leaving here until she was able to be safely moved.

Balidor understood.

In fact, Balidor hadn’t even argued, which Revik appreciated more than he’d expressed, or likely would express to the Adhipan seer. Balidor made a joke about the mountain coming to Mohammed, then put his people to work, leaving Revik to do his. They only interrupted him when they needed something specific.

Revik appreciated that, too.

Balidor brought materials here from nearby labs and medical facilities, now abandoned by the humans that used to run them. He had his people constructing everything to be portable for when they eventually moved their base, designing most as prototypes, or even as temps.

Revik kept tabs enough to know that Balidor had also started recruiting more openly from the refugee population, to cull whatever specialized skill sets might be needed in the coming days and weeks. He knew Balidor had Deklan doing the same in New York. Some of those refugees they even trained alongside their own people now, if they had a high enough sight rank, or a skill rare enough that it seemed worth the added investment.

For the first time, Revik had an opportunity to see Balidor’s own invaluable skills and areas of expertise directly in action. Balidor always worked for his wife before. Revik had never directed him like this, and he found him easy to work with...and surprisingly respectful of his authority, despite a tendency to be overly paternalistic.

In some ways, he was even easier than Wreg.

Not that he could really fault Wreg’s performance of the past few months, either.

Balidor and Wreg had both been working tirelessly for what had to be over twenty weeks now, converting most of the houses on Alamo Square to their own purposes, setting up security and infiltration teams to monitor the Barrier, determining local food and water supplies and the layout of what remained of San Francisco’s local population, both human and seer.

Of course, few remained in the city at this point, even among the indigent...although scavengers carved out territory, roved in bands, and fought amongst themselves. Mostly human, they learned to steer clear of Revik’s territory pretty fast. That same territory had expanded in the weeks since, and now included all of what had once been called the Western Addition, NOPA, Buena Vista Park and a good chunk of both the Fillmore and the Haight, upper and lower.

Allie’s neighborhood.

None of those who once inhabited the Victorian-style houses at the base of the small park of Alamo Square and its hill had been around to complain when Revik took them over. He and his people found evidence of looting, broken windows, drug pipes, dead bodies, spoiled food, vandalism of the walls and furniture...but no one alive. The area also stood far enough above the flood zones as to be relatively safe, despite the ongoing earthquakes and storms.

Still, the location was temporary, and it felt temporary.

It felt temporary to all of them, Revik knew, even apart from what they would soon need, logistically and otherwise, for a more permanent colony. On some level, it was utterly insane to stay here, given San Francisco’s location along major fault lines and its proximity to the sea.

Revik didn’t care.

Truthfully, he rarely left this specific building.

The cell’s walls glowed with organic life, shimmering with a disconcerting glimmer of sentience as his eyes and light followed their snaking trails. It was the second such room Balidor and his technicians had attempted to build. While it didn’t quite have the impenetrability of the tank Galaith built in the mountains of Asia––which had been designed to cut a seer totally off from the Barrier––when fully activated, this room came close.

Even this constituted a prototype. Balidor had his technicians working on the next generation already, for after they moved.

Revik’s eyes returned to the other male while he thought this.

“Plenty of other seers want to be on the ground for this,” he growled into Maygar’s silence. “Plenty of other seers would kill themselves for the opportunity to help, particularly at this level. Say the word, and I’ll start training for a different approach...one that doesn’t need a second telekinetic seer.”

Maygar’s frown deepened, but something in that last speech caused his dark brown eyes to clear. He shook his head, once, while Revik watched, clenching his jaw as if he didn’t trust what might come out of his mouth if he were to speak.

Revik found himself hardening his light against the expression there.

He saw the grief behind it. He felt enough of a flavor of Allie’s light that his pain returned, clenching into a hard knot in his chest. He felt the intensity of Maygar’s hurt...and that sadness resonated briefly with his own, enough that he had to fight back his light, to control it with an iron hand before he did something he would regret.

His words came out the same as before.

“Try it again,” he said, aiming his light deliberately at the relevant structure over the younger seer’s head. “Exactly like I showed you.”

That time, Maygar nodded, his expression taut, almost vulnerable in its determination.

“All right,” he said, unfolding his arms. “...I’m ready.”