Alluring Turmoil (20 page)

“Excuse me. I need some air.” And I grab Bradi and Erik and pull them with me off the stage and into the hall. Micah is holding tight to Bradi, so he trails behind.

Once we reach the hall, I drop down to a squat and sit on the back of my knees as I cup my face in my hands and scream in my head.

Erik drops down beside me. “Lexi, what’s wrong, love? What did she say to you?”

“Nothing… Everything… I don’t know… She didn’t know who I was… She’s slept with Jude… I broke him.” I’m rambling and talking into my hands.

“Wait… what the fuck? She told you she slept with Jude?” he sputters out.

“Oh hell no, I’m kicking that bitch’s ass!” Bradi screams and tries to go back towards the stage. But Micah holds onto her firmly.

“Wait! No… sh-she didn’t come out and say she slept with Jude. She just said they were over a long time ago and they are friends… but I read between the lines.” I choke on my words. “I mean, I know he’s been with other people since me. Shit, he’s a rock star for God’s sake. But to see her and know that they’ve been together… She’s beautiful. How many more women am I going to hear from about them having sex with my man? How am I supposed to be ok with that, E? I don’t know how to live in
this
world!”

“Well, that’s still a shitty thing to do. Who does shit like that?!?! She’s a bitch. And she’s not
that
gorgeous, Lexi! She has nothing on you!” Bradi is still seething and ready to go to battle for me.

Micah kisses her head. “Calm down, Baby. Not that I don’t think you can take her, because you’d totally whip her ass. It’s just not worth it. Jude dedicated that song to Lexi in front of 30,000 people. Everyone knows who he’s with… who he wants to be with.”

He looks at me. “Lexi, seriously. I know you’re upset and I don’t blame you, but you can’t let this shit get to you. Jude has a past. We all do. It’s not the past that matters. It’s what we do in the present. And in the present, that man wants
you
!”

“He’s right, Lexi” a familiar voice interjects. “I’m sorry that you found out like this. Yes, Blue and I have been together, but it was a long time ago and there is nothing there now but friendship and mutual respect.” Jude holds his hand out to me to help me up. “I don’t want her in that way. I don’t want anyone else in that way. Just you, Baby.
Only you!”

His eyes are pleading with me to take his hand.

I reach up and grab it.

Jude

My heart fell to my knees as I looked over and saw Blue and Lexi with their heads bent together, and then I saw Lexi tense up. It took everything in me to stop from jumping over the guys and running over to the side stage to see what was happening.

I can only imagine what Blue was telling Lexi. We’ve known each other since we had our first number one hit. Blue was an intern at Rock Hard Magazine and we became friends. One night after drinks, things got sexual and after that, we’d hook up from time to time, but I never thought about her romantically. We used each other, plain and simple. She’s seen me at my lowest. Back when we’d hook up, I was drunk all the time to numb the pain. I’d sleep with any attractive woman who offered herself up to me. Blue is who made me see what a mess I had made of my life. She’s who snapped me back to reality.

I told her about Lexi earlier today, but I only mentioned that we’d dated before and we were back together now. She’s a bright one and she’s seen me through my “other” relationships, throughout the years. She told me she didn’t believe it when I told her I’d bought a house here, and was going to live here most of the time, to be near Lexi.

Once I was able to get off the stage, I found Blue and demanded she tell me what had just happened.

“Nothing, Jude. I swear. I think she figured out that we’d slept together, but I apologized for treating her like shit earlier. I told her she was ‘the girl’ and she acted as if I spoke Chinese. She said she needed air and left. That’s all. I swear! I’m sorry, Jude. You should go after her though,” Blue told me.

As I jump off the stage and run into the hall, I hear Lexi’s conversation with her friends. My heart drops at the pain in her voice. I can’t have her feeling like this. I need to explain.

After my explanation, I wait, holding my breath as I pray she takes my hand.

She reaches up and places her tiny hand in mine.

I wrap my fingers around hers and pull her up. Pulling her straight into my arms and burying my face in her neck, I place a kiss on her pulse point. “Thank God, baby. Thank God. I’m sorry.”

She touches my face and kisses me before saying, “It’s ok, Jude. I know things have happened… with both of us. And as long as I’m the one you want to be with… I’m yours. Ok?”

I hug her tightly and whisper, “You promise?”

Her mouth on mine answers my question.

“So, as awesome as this shit is, we have some fans to greet! As soon as we do that, we can all head out of here.” We look over and Dade is smiling at us with the rest of the guys, Lexi’s friends, and Blue and her photographer standing beside them. “And it looks like y’all might want some
alone time
.” He smirks.

Blue looks at both of us and gives us a toothy smile and thumbs up. Everyone is staring at us and smiling, everyone except one person.

Jessie is looking at Blue with a perplexed expression…

I take Lexi’s hand, kiss her palm, and turn to head to greet Bayou Stix’s fans. I’m not letting go until I have to.

Lexi

J
ude is holding so tightly to my hand my fingers are tingling, but I don’t complain. We’re about to walk into a room full of female fans who all want to screw the band, so he can hold my hand as tightly as he wants to. These chicks need to understand that he’s with me.

We stop at the door to the room they have reserved for the Meet and Greet and Jude leans into my face, looking into my eyes. “Lex, things can get pretty crazy at these things. Women and men are very aggressive and sometimes they get very touchy feely. I just need you to be prepared for what you might see in here, ok?”

I look at him and smile devilishly. “It’s ok. I understand. I want my hands all over you too, so I completely get it.” I wink and kiss him quickly.

“Shit, Lex, you can’t say stuff like that! Look what you did!” He points to his groin where something is standing at attention.

I smirk.

“Well, that’s all mine. And as soon as you get in there and appease your fans, the sooner we can leave. I have a bed with a reservation in your name. Checkin time is in two hours!” I duck under his arm with a smile and pull him with me towards the room. As he opens the door, I hear him groan.

Jude and the guys are great with the fans. They hug and take pictures with all of them. I watch as more than one female fan shoves things in his pockets or whispers in his ear. He smiles through it all, but keeps meeting my gaze… reassuring me.

Bradi and Micah decide to head out and Erik leaves with them. I tell them that I’ll catch a ride with Jude.

I continue to watch the crowd and the way the band interacts with them, as I lean against the wall. My feet are killing me, and all I want to do is sit down, and take my shoes off.

Someone stands next to me, and I catch Blue’s eyes. “They love him. He’s got this amazing way with the fans.”

I keep watching Jude as I answer her. “Yes, he does. He’s always had that effect when he sings.”

Blue takes a deep breath. “Look, Lexi. I feel like I owe you an explanation. Jude and I… we were never romantically involved. Never. We were friends and I was there for him when he needed someone to be there for him. Yes, we’ve been… together… but even that was just…
sex
. No love, not even romance. Neither of us has ever harbored those feelings for the other. We were just friends. He was in a bad place and I was there. But as someone who knows him, someone who’s known him for about eight years now, I can tell you that I’ve never seen him with a woman the way I see him with you. He’s got a happiness about him that I’ve never seen before. I just wanted to tell you that, and apologize again for coming off as a raging bitch.”

I look at her in a new light. “Ok. Thank you for telling me that. I really do appreciate it. Jude and I… we have history… but he means the world to me… the absolute world.”

She shakes her head and smiles, “Yes, I can see that. Shit… everyone can see that. The two of you together are electric. It’s a great thing to see. I’d love to find that…”

She sounds sad. Why would this beautiful woman be sad? Then I notice where her eyes are focused.

Interesting. Very interesting.

“You’ll get it. Really. When you least expect it, you’ll find it, Blue,” I say with a gleam in my eyes.

“Maybe… I’ve kind of given up.” She shrugs and shakes her head. “Hey, it looks like they’re wrapping up.” Her chin inclines towards the guys as a guy in a suit is trying to hustle the crowd out of the door. “See you around, Lexi. You’re good for, Jude. I’m happy for you both. Be gentle with him, ok?”

In confusion, I respond. “Sure, Blue. Thank you. And I will, though I don’t know why I would need to be gentle with him.”

She shakes her head at me one last time and says, “Just trust me, ok? Be gentle. Night, Lexi.”

I’m puzzling over her response as she quickly turns on her heel and walks away. She meets up with the geeky photographer and together they leave.

Jude and Jessie make their way over to my spot on the wall. “What did
she
want?” Jessie spits out, as Jude says, “What were you ladies talking about? Everything ok? Where are Erik, Bradi, and Micah?”

I answer both guys. “Nothing. We were just talking. Jessie, stop being a dick to her. I think she likes you.” Jessie’s eyebrows disappear underneath his hair and his mouth opens and closes, but no sounds come out.

Jude just raises his brows and smirks at Jessie’s expression.

“Everything is good and they decided to head home. They were tired. Can you bring me home, Jude?”

Jessie finally finds his voice. “You’re crazy, Lexi! Blue does not
like
me. She hates me, and I don’t know why… She just pisses me off! You-you’re flipping crazy, Lexi!” His words are saying one thing, but his eyes are following her movement as she exits the room, and starts walking down the hall.

Jude bumps him in the shoulder. “You’re an idiot, Jessie! A complete moron!”

He grabs my hand and calls out over his shoulder to the rest of the guys. “Later, guys. I’m out of here. Great night. Awesome concert! Thank you all! I’m taking Lexi home now.” He pulls me out the door, down the hall, and into the parking lot, before anyone can say anything.

He leans me against his bike, boxing me in and takes my mouth roughly. Thank God he’s holding me up because my knees give out and I have to grab onto his shoulders to keep from collapsing.

When he’s done devouring my mouth, he pulls back and chuckles at the look of pure desire on my face. “I owed you that. Now, let’s get you home. We have a reservation… with your bed.”

Holy hell…

Jude

Well that almost backfired. I wanted to leave her panting, crazy with desire, but I managed to rile myself up just as much.