Almost Innocent (14 page)

He smoothed back my hair, tucking a section behind my ear. “I’ll be back before you know it, okay?”

I tried to smile. I really did. I didn’t know how to tell him that this was good-bye, that I wouldn’t be here when he came home. Because if Dusty didn’t kill me, I was running. So far away that no one would find me again.

My child would not be brought into the world I lived in. There was no way in hell I’d let him witness his mother go through the things I went through, and there was no way I would subject him to whatever torture Dustin was sure to send his way.

He may have been conceived by the sperm of Satan himself, but it was my blood that ran through his veins. He was my child. He was going to grow up to be smart and funny and kind. He was going to love animals and his momma. And he would never hurt a woman just because he could. I would make sure of that.

My lips were dry and cracked, but I ran my tongue over them anyway. I needed to say good-bye, because Declan had been the light in my dark for so long that I needed him to know none of this was his fault. I would have to hide from him too though, because I couldn’t take the chance that his brother would find me.

“Dec,” I started apprehensively, and he immediately turned his attention back to me. “I need to tell you something.”

His entire demeanor changed. He pushed his shoulders back, and the stance he took almost made me fear him. It was so similar to what his brother did before he wielded out his “punishments.” Dec was just as dangerous as Dustin, but twice as deadly.

I’d heard the stories of course. Dusty liked to tell them every time he thought my opinion of his brother was too high. I’d never been afraid of Declan though, and I’d never seen him do anything even remotely terrifying. I had a hard time reconciling the man I adored with the man others saw.

If I could believe my boyfriend, Declan was a murderer, a cold-blooded killer, a gun for hire. Grown men feared him not because of his size, but because of his ruthlessness. They were wary of Dustin because he was insane and no one ever knew what would set him off. Dec, on the other hand, was calm and collected, never losing his temper before he did his job.

That made him a nightmare, according to his brother, because if Declan was that coldhearted when things weren’t personal, no one wanted to see how he’d act when it was. So no one, except for Dustin, tried to get on Declan’s bad side. Dustin made it his mission to hit Dec below the belt, which made it even harder for me.

Dustin was a bad man. Pure evil. The devil incarnate. But everyone seemed to owe him a favor. Or ten. He was almost untouchable. And well protected. If someone came at him, a hundred more fought back. No one in this town challenged him and lived to tell the tale.

Declan was a good man. Everything his brother was not. No one owed him anything, but he was respected just the same. He may not have an army standing behind him, but he stood tall on his own.

Then there was me, caught in the middle. I belonged to one brother but was in love with the other. A true Greek tragedy with a modern twist.

Only in this version, I was nothing more than a pawn. Something that Dustin held over his brother’s head. Dec couldn’t make a move against Dustin, because Dusty would take it out on me. I’d learned that the hard way. And I couldn’t tell Dec what was going on for two reasons. One, it would destroy him and Dustin would win. And two, Dec would go after his brother. Then Dustin’s men would kill Dec without a second thought because while he was a Callaghan, he wasn’t their boss.

So I was stuck. And now I had to say good-bye to the man that I loved enough to stay in this shitstorm for as long as I had. I’d protected him as much as I could for years, believing Dustin when he told me that if I ran, if I left him, he would tear Dec from limb to limb. One day, after a particularly painful beating, he’d gleefully outlined his plans. The specific ways he would make his brother pay had hurt me more than his fists and still made me nauseated.

I’d never understood how anyone could want to hurt their own brother that way. His plans didn’t stop at just Dec though. I’d made the mistake of falling in love with Fiona too. She was the sister I’d always wanted but never had. And because I loved her, Dustin enjoyed making detailed threats against her.

The hell I’d survived was nothing compared to what Dusty would let his men do to her. She’d barely survived what they’d already done. The fear that his weren’t idle threats, that he really would hurt his brother and sister, had kept me with him for years.

But this baby changed everything.

By this time next week, I’d either be dead or in hiding.

Declan, standing tall and threatening, did not scare me. Yet the shadow of his big brother left me quaking to my core.

Looking down at me, his eyes searching mine, Dec gripped my shoulders tight. “You can tell me anything, Little G.”

I swallowed and fisted my hands so that my nails dug into my palms. “I’m going to miss you. Most of all.” I shrugged. “I just wanted you to know.”

His eyes moved over my shoulder to where I knew Mark was leaning on the car, watching me with his evil eyes. Dec couldn’t see anything more than his blood, the boy who used to be his best friend, but I didn’t see anything more than the piece of shit who got off on causing pain. Declan raised his hand in a wave before sliding his eyes back to me.

“Listen to me closely, Gabs.” He took a deep breath. “Mark is going to keep an eye on you for me.”

A sob ripped through me, but Declan probably thought I was crying because I was happy. He’d never understand the relationship Dustin and Mark had, and I’d never be able to tell him.

“He’s my best friend, Gabby. He’ll keep you safe. In the meantime”—he slid a small cell phone off his truck seat and handed it to me in a way that no one else could see what was going on—“I’m speed dial number two. 9-1-1 is number one. If you need me, I don’t care what time it is, you call me. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

I nodded, tucking it into the front pocket of my jeans.

“It’s untraceable. My brother will never know you called me.” He pulled me in for a hug. “Everything will be okay. I promise.”

Tears burned my eyes as I watched him wave once more to Mark, offer me a smile, climb into the cab, and drive off. Just like that, I was alone.

The knot in my stomach twisted tighter, forcing me onto my side. It was excruciating, and I was pretty sure I was dying. I dry heaved, sobbing when I didn’t get the relief that I desperately needed. The baby. Something was wrong with the baby. My hands flew to my stomach, desperately trying to keep him away from my stomach and away from my baby.

“No!” I screamed, realizing there was no baby. Instead of the roundness I’d had when I carried, I was flat and soft.

Grady is real. You are real. You are safe. You are alive. They are gone. They cannot hurt you anymore. I repeated the chant that my therapist had taught me. But before I could go through it more than once, the pain in my stomach struck again, and I lost focus for one millisecond.

It was enough time for the memories from that final night to take over.

“Gabby?” Declan answered the call on the first ring, his voice panicked. “What’s wrong?”

“He knows,” I whisper-shouted, fear racing through my veins.

“Gabs?” His voice would seem calm to anyone who didn’t know him as well as I did, but I heard the worried undertones. “You gotta tell me what we’re talking about, babe.”

“Dustin knows that I was trying to leave him, and he’s on his way home.”

Dec swore. “Call 9-1-1!”

“I can’t.” My fate had suddenly become very clear. “They won’t come until it’s over. He made sure of that.”

“Gabby, where is my dad? I’m calling my dad!”

The fear in his voice told me everything I needed to know. Declan couldn’t save me this time.

I started to cry then, because I knew no other option was left. This was it. “He got called away. He left for Ireland last night.”

“Okay, Little G.” Dec’s voice lost all fear, and he took on that authoritative tone I secretly loved. It wasn’t scary like Dustin’s, but was something he used when he was protecting the ones he loved. “Where are you?”

“Our apartment.”

“I need you to do me a favor. Can you do me a favor?”

I nodded even though he couldn’t see me.

“I need you to go outside and go to the main house.”

“Your mom isn’t home.”

“Gabs, listen to me, okay? Are you listening?”

“Yes.”

“Move. Now. Go outside and run to the main house.”

I did what he asked, not sure what I was doing, but hurrying just the same.

“Go up to my room. Tell me when you’re there,” he said.

I climbed the stairs two at a time until I heard the rumble of Dusty’s Jeep pulling into the yard. “He’s here, Dec. Dustin’s home.”

“Hurry, Gabs. My room! Run!”

“I’m here.”

“Under my nightstand is a gun safe. Pull it out.”

I dropped to my knees and pulled the metal box out to me.

“The combination is 3-1-1-8-0.”

My hand hesitated over the lock. “That’s my birthday.”

“Gabby, focus. Open it up. Hurry.”

I did what he asked and pushed the top open, momentarily distracted by the picture taped onto it. It was Dec and me at maybe fifteen or sixteen, our arms around each other. So innocent.

“Did you get it open?”

“I did. I don’t know what to do. I don’t even know how to load it.”

“Baby, it’s all ready to use.” He soothed. “I need you to take it and hide it somewhere you can reach it if you need to. I’m on my way. Try to calm him down, but if that son of a bitch lays a hand on you, you shoot him.”

“Dec”—tears streamed down my face as I looked at the gun in my hands—“I don’t know how to shoot.”

“Point at him and pull the trigger. That’s all you have to do, babe. Point and shoot. And keep shooting until he stops coming at you.”

“Gabriella!” The scream sent terrors through me. “Come out, come out wherever you are.”

Declan’s voice was calm on the other end of the line, “Hide the phone. Hide the gun. Go do what you can do until I get there.”

I didn’t even have a chance to say good-bye, because I could hear Dustin moving around downstairs, getting closer to the stairs. Stashing the gun, I forced the bile down my throat. I ran into the hall to play a game.

A game of life and death.

“Hey, baby.” I swiped my cheeks, trying to make any evidence of tears disappear, and called down the stairs, trying to force my panic down and calm my breathing. “What are you doing home so early?”

Dustin rushed up the stairs, sneering at me the whole time. “What in the hell are you doing here?” He glanced around the hall, looking to see which room I’d been in.

I pointed toward the room Moira had turned into a nursery. “Your mom had a delivery of baby things arrive today, and she asked me to go through it.” Dustin didn’t buy it, but I rambled on anyway, hoping he would. “I’m actually glad you’re home. I can’t wait for you to see—”

I swallowed the last of the words when he grabbed me and slammed me back into the wall, his hand closing tightly around my throat. “I don’t give a shit what my mother bought that little bastard.”

I tried to keep myself calm. Dusty liked it when I got upset. “Honey,” I gasped as his tightened his grip, “what’s going on?”

He smiled. The same one I once thought was so charming. The one that I now had nightmares about.

“Mark called.” He spoke so casually, as if we were having drinks on the back deck and he wasn’t squeezing my throat so hard that my eyes watered. “Can you tell me why he found your passport and a packed bag in the car?”

Mark. Declan had put his trust in the wrong person. I wasn’t sure that Mark had ever loved Dec as much as he’d pretended.

I ignored my hatred and focused on the task at hand. I’d defused situations worse than this before. “Your mom”—my voice was no more than a whisper now—“is sending us away for a romantic getaway before the baby comes.”

“Oh, yeah? Why in the hell would she do that?”

“She said you looked stressed. You do, baby. Let me make it better.”

He dropped his hand, and I leaned over, trying to gasp and cough at the same time. The backhanded slap surprised me—I thought I’d talked him down. But no. Dustin was apparently in the mood to play.

When he got like this, he’d take me to the brink of passing out, make me beg him for my life, then bring me back. Only to do it all over again. I wasn’t sure I had it in me to go through it again.

I fought though. Keeping the knowledge that Declan was coming for me in the back of my mind, I fought for my life.

Every slap, every punch, every kick, I pled, told him that Mark was wrong, that I would never leave him because I loved him, and begged him to see reason. He forced me out of the hall and into his old bedroom, and he tore the room apart as he beat me.

It felt as if it went on for hours. I wanted to give up, to go to sleep. Dustin was having too much fun to stop though. I could tell from the happiness on his face that he was only getting started.

He threw me back into the wall, and I slumped onto the floor. Covered in blood, spit, sweat, and vomit, I was starting to give up. I couldn’t do it any longer. Declan obviously wasn’t coming, and if this was the end, why was I fighting so hard?

The baby had stopped moving long ago, after the third or fourth time Dustin’s steel toes connected with my stomach. I’d stopped listening to the hatred spewing out of his mouth long before, but I knew whatever he was saying then was aimed at the baby. I’d failed to do my one job as a mom—I hadn’t protected my baby. What in the hell kind of person was I?