Almost Innocent (26 page)

“I don’t want to disturb you,” I told her, patting her thigh, “so I’ll grab the boys and we’ll get out of your hair.”

She looked up from the laptop, features twisted in concern. “You could never disturb me. Stay.”

“Listen, woman,” I growled playfully as I moved back to her chair and settled next to her, “you need to finish this damn book so I can have you to myself for a few days.”

“A few days?” Her voice was filled with disappointment as her eyebrows drew together, the unasked question clear.
How long would I be here this time?

“I’m not leaving any time soon,” I promised. “I brought blueprints from a new project, and they’ll keep me busy for weeks. I’ll need to go Stateside at some point in the next few months, just to check on Moira and Niall. But if there is an emergency, they know how to reach me.” I settled my chin into its spot in the crook of her neck. “If not, they know I’m with my family.”

She relaxed back into me as I looked down the beach at where our boys were playing.

“Dec, what’s going on at home?”

I stifled a sigh. I had no way to avoid this topic any longer, even though I dreaded the discussion. “Moira wants to retire. She’s had it.”

For the first six months after Gabby, Fi, and Grady left, I stayed in Maine, tying up loose ends. And easing myself out of the business. Moira had taken over all of Callaghan Industries except for the developmental side—that was still mine. Well, mine and Fi’s. Since my original partner, the man we no longer spoke of, was dead, Fi had inherited it. Now though, my mother was done.

“And she wants Fi to take over?” Gabby asked.

That was a good assumption. Fiona
was
my big sister, and Moira had proven over the last few years that a woman could run CI as well as any man. Life would be so much easier if that was all Moira wanted.

I ignored the question, using it as a segue. “How is Fi? Really, I mean.”

“Better.” Gabby’s head turned to the right, and mine followed. “Usually this time of day, she’s out running.”

I found Fi about a half mile down. At least I thought it was her. Usually she was alone or with the dogs, but today, the silhouette of a man joined her.

Gabby pointed in her direction, as if I hadn’t seen my sister already, and I felt my body stiffen. “She’s been seeing the photographer from town.”

“The old guy?”

Gabby laughed. “The man three years older than your sister, yes. He’s a widow with two little girls.” She turned her face toward mine. “Fiona’s in heaven. She’s happy. I heard her singing in the shower today.”

Fi didn’t have to work—not with the money she got from her half of the business. She could have moved anywhere in the world, but she wanted to help out with the boys as much as possible, so she’d stayed close. Once Grady had gotten older, she took up painting as a way for her to work through her memories and the pain of what had happened. There were so many breathtaking spots here where she could sit and practice, healing in the warm sea breezes, that I was sure she’d never have a chance to capture them all. She’d even started to sell her work at a local café, where she’d been introduced to other local artists. Including the old photographer.

The idea of my sister singing in the shower, something she hadn’t done in years, made me relax instantly. If she was happy, I was happy.

“Really? Shit.” I didn’t have the words to express my feelings as I looked at the duo, coming closer at a steady pace. “If he hurts her—” Thoughts of violence littered my mind.

“You’ll buy us ice cream and alcohol and take the boys away for a night so she can cry it out,” Gabby snapped.

I grinned. “That’s exactly what I was going to say.”

Gabby laughed, lifting a hand to my bare cheek. “I missed you.” Then she slapped me gently—twice. “Now spill. Don’t make me keep waiting.”

“Moira wants Grady for the summer.”

A single light-blond eyebrow rose as she digested my words. “No.”

“Gabs…” I lifted my hands in surrender, hoping she’d understand I didn’t want a fight. “Hear me out.”

Gabby narrowed her eyes at me, crossing her arms, but she stayed silent.

I sighed. “She misses her grandsons. But since she knows you won’t let Colin go over just yet, she’s only asking for Grady. She wants to take him to colleges, remind him of what life on the mainland is like. She’s not asking him to move back there and take over. She doesn’t want him anywhere near the business. She simply wants to retire and do something that a normal grandmother would do.”

Her eyes moved over my shoulder, probably to the boys, and her face softened slightly. Shaking her head, she insisted, “I don’t want him there.”

I squeezed her thigh in comfort. “You can’t keep him here forever.”

Gabby scowled playfully. “Are you sure?”

I nodded, smiling. If Gabby could shelter our children, she would do it forever. “I’m sure. He’s gotta grow up at some point.”

She sighed, dropping her hands and squeezing mine. “What happens if I didn’t parent him right?” She shrugged, worry transforming her face. “I never told him…” Her eyes found mine. “If he’s there and he starts to turn, I can’t get to him. I can’t save him.”

“Gabby…” I sighed.

That had been her biggest worry all along—that Grady would wake up one morning and transform into a monster. It hadn’t happened yet because it wasn’t going to.

“Don’t you ‘Gabby’ me!” she snapped, frowning before she whispered, “I have every right to worry. He has that monster’s blood in his veins.”

“He has the same blood in his veins as I do, the same as Colin—Callaghan blood.”

“No.” Gabby shook her head. “They were monsters.” She didn’t have to explain who “they” were.

“I have the same demons that Logan and Dustin had. There will always be darkness in my soul. It’s who I am. The boys will have that same darkness. But Grady will never let it take over, not like it took them, because he has something they never did.” I slid a finger down her nose before I cupped her cheek as I leaned in close. “You were my light, Gabs. My focus. Without you, I wouldn’t be me. And to those boys”—I tipped my head toward the spot where they were playing—“you are the sun. Their world revolves around you. As long as you’re here, there is no room for darkness in them.”

She bit her lip, watching the kids again. “What if something…” She swallowed hard, not finishing her sentence. She didn’t have to. She knew I would protect him and make sure nothing went wrong. Then she nodded. “It’s his choice. If he wants to go, he can. Colin will be devastated without him though.”

Glancing back at my boys, I smiled. They were laughing, kicking water at each other, and being kids. More than that—they were being brothers.

“It’ll be tough at first”—I turned back to my wife—“for all of us. But, they’ll be fine. They’re great kids. You must have done something right.”

Gabby nodded. “I did. I fell in love with you. Not that I had a choice.” She laughed, the sound tugging at my heart.

“Then I must have done something fucking fantastic, Little G. ‘Cause I’m the luckiest son of a bitch alive.”

“That you are.” She pushed off the seat, leaving her computer in her spot. “I’m going to go play while I still can.”

“Hey!” I called when she was a few steps away. “What about your ending?”

Gabby shrugged. “Everyone deserves a happy ending. I’ll finish it later.” Tipping her head toward the kids, she gave me the sexy smile I’d dreamt about for years. “Come play, husband. We’ve missed you.”

I watched as the woman I’d loved for as long as I could remember joined our sons. I was the luckiest man alive. I had a woman who loved me unconditionally and two boys who loved us and each other unequivocally. A wife who had been my best friend since I was fifteen, and two sons who would be best friends until they were separated by death. Gabby, who overlooked my last name and loved me in spite of it, and Grady and Colin, who would never know the burden of theirs.

These three were my world. The one person who loved me and protected me even when she didn’t have to. And the two boys who were loved more than anything, who I hoped would always remain almost innocent.

D
id
you know that this book all started because of a Facebook post? Really. On November 19, 2015, I posted this:

Ever run into someone you’d never thought you’d see again and the first words out of your mouth aren’t “oh, my God! Hi!” They’re, “When in the hell did
you
get out?”

No?

Welcome to my life.

Maine, contrary to popular belief, is a large place. So, imagine my surprise when I stop for a pee break, two hours from my house, and literally bump into a boy I used to know. Well, he’s all man now. And, unlike me (and the other men I know who did time) the years have been kind to him. How in the hell does that happen?

So, I’m trying to figure out what’s worse. The fact that I know more than one person who has been to prison. Or, the fact that I’m so screwed up I think he’s still attractive.

See what you missed by not being my friend? Ha.

Fellow author Jeannine Colette responded first, telling me that I had to turn that story into a book.

And, Almost Innocent was born.

Come join me on facebook because you never know what I’m going to say.

www.facebook.com/carinaadamswrites

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I
f you made
it all the way here, you know that Almost Innocent touches on a serious and heartbreaking issue that many people have to face on a daily basis.

Domestic Violence. Two words that bring out a mixture of emotions in me, from sadness to anger. No person, no matter what age, no matter what gender, should ever have to fear a person they love.

Yet, they do.

My beta readers had varying reactions to this book. One told me she couldn’t understand why Gabby, a smart, beautiful woman, would stay with an abusive prick like Dustin. Another, a DV survivor, called me crying because it was too real for her. The flashback that Gabby has in the kitchen was something she experienced many times before. A third sent me a long message telling me that her best friend was trapped in a relationship now and could not see what was happening to herself.

Why didn’t Gabby leave? Because she couldn’t. Dustin had broken her. He used her love for Declan and Fiona against her. He would never have actually hurt them, but Gabby didn’t know that. She couldn’t see Dusty for the pathetic excuse of a man that he was – she only saw a man who had hurt and degraded her, over and over, until she believed the things he said.

I want you to remember that Gabby was leaving him. She loved her baby more than she loved anyone, including herself. Gabby is not a weak character. She’s the strongest woman I’ve ever written.

Thank you for sticking with me – through the journey of my books, through this story, and through these notes. I am extremely proud of this book and hope that you enjoyed it. Hugs.

B
ambino - I love you
. Even when you drive me crazy. You may be the worst housekeeper known to mankind, and you may be addicted to that pathetic video game (seriously, put the fucking phone down and pay attention to me), but I know I’m lucky to have you by my side. It’s hard to marry your best friend, especially when you get hitched so young, and let’s face it - I’m a handful. Thank you for loving me, just the way I am. And, most of all, for being my safe place and protecting me, even from myself.

Boys, out of all my books, this will be the one I let you read when you’re older. I want you to remember that the people that truly love you don’t hurt you. Mummy loves you, all the way around the world and back again, but if you ever lay your hands on your partner in anger, you better pray the police find you before I do. And, may God help the person who hurts my babies.

Samms and November (bwahahaha), I’m so sorry you have to put up with my snarky ass. Ok. No, I’m not. I’m not sure how the three of us ended up friends, but I fucking love you. The World’s Best PAs!

Ada Frost, Amanda Samms, April Wells, Jennifer Skewes, Kim Doe, Lauren Runrow, Lauren Sweeney, Stefanie Pace, and Theresa Martin – you are THE best beta readers EVER! Thank you for doing one of the hardest jobs there is. I love you all! I’m sorry that I gave some of you this book without telling you how dark it was. I promise to warn you next time! Don’t ever leave me, ‘k? I can’t be me without you. Ok. That’s not true. BUT, I can’t write like I do without your support.

Neda, at Ardent Prose PR, I don’t even know what to call you any more. Publicist? Manager? PR Guru? Savior? Friend? It doesn’t matter what your title is, you are amazing and I adore you. Thank you! Ride or Die, babe. Ride or Die.

Gel, at Tempting Illustrations, thank you for the most beautiful teasers I have ever seen! I’m so happy that you’ve become a friend and I look forward to talking to you always.

Sommer, at Perfect Pear Creations, the cover is more than beautiful – it’s perfect! I know I was an annoying pain – let’s blame it on the fact that Travis is so handsome that I couldn’t wait to see the finished product. I can’t stop staring at it.

Cassie, at Joy Editing, you are simply amazing! I don’t know what I would do without you. Thank you!!

Leigh, the book is beautiful. Thank you!

Camille, thank you for letting me pester you with legal questions! And, thank you for being my Disney loving, dog adoring, free spirited friend. You make me feel like I’m not alone.

Travis, you are definitely my Declan. Always. Thank you for being on the cover!

Friend, it took twelve years, but I’d forgotten how much I missed you. It’s hard to remember when you don’t see someone every day, and then you run into them and it all comes crashing back. I know you don’t think you are a hero, but I disagree. You saved me, took a self-sacrificing journey so that a girl you once loved could live the life you hoped she would. A thank you will never be enough. I promised I wouldn’t use your name, but that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate you.

Jeannine, thank you for suggesting I turn that encounter into a book!

My A Secret Affair ladies – thank you for being such an amazing group of supporting authors!

Bloggers, THANK YOU! I would not be able to follow my dreams without your support. I’m extremely lucky that so many of you have become personal friends. Do not ever estimate how much you help authors do what they love!

Jenn Balan – I thanked you in my first book because you were a never ending support. A thank you now seems silly because you won’t see this where you are now. I miss you. Every single day. I love you. My life was changed because of you. You left this world much too soon – long before I was ready to say goodbye. Sometimes I forget you’re not here anymore and when I remember, my heart breaks all over again. I wish I could give you one more hug. Or, that we could share one more laugh. Until we can, know that I am so honored that you were my friend. I’m still going to hell, babe, straight to hell, even though you’ve gotten your wings.

Thank YOU, reader, for coming on this journey with me. I get to play with my imaginary friends because of you. I adore you all!