Almost to Die For (8 page)

He brightened when he saw me approaching, and I had to admit he had a dazzling smile. Plus, thanks to a Russian father and Romany mother, he had thick, dark curls and a kind of smoldering intensity that both frightened and enchanted me. Like the rest of us, he’d dressed the part of the young witch. In his case, he opted for the billowy peasant shirt with poet sleeves and tight leather pants. Wow, he looked good in those. The motorcycle boots were a nice, modern touch, especially with the ankle jewelry jangling like spurs near his heels.

I had some trouble meeting his eyes by the time I stood next to Bea, who thoughtfully widened the circle to include me. The other person in their group was Shannon, who was not yet fifteen. She had tinsel woven into her tight cornrows and glitter on her cheeks. Shannon was the opposite of me in many ways—baby plump, dark skinned—but the biggest was that she was a prodigy: so good at magic that she’d be Initiated early, almost two years ahead of schedule.

“Did you see Nik’s new ink?” Shannon giggled excitedly. “Show her! It’s totally awesome. I can’t wait until I’m eighteen and I can get a tattoo.”

Nikolai raised his sleeve to the bicep to show off a band of intertwined blue and green dragons. Where it was decorated, his skin looked rough and raised and I noted a tiny scab over one of the darker lines. “Ow,” I said sympathetically. “I bet that hurt.”

“Ha! You owe me twenty bucks,” Nikolai told Bea.

“It’s a technicality,” Bea said with a faux pout. “She might not have
asked
if it hurt, but she still mentioned it.”

“Yeah, but I told you she wouldn’t be cliché.” Nikolai gave me an approving glance, as though he expected me to generally perform above average. I struggled not to blush furiously at his attention. Turning back to Bea, he added, “I say you owe me.”

“Fine, you’ll just have to come over to my house and collect it after school,” Bea purred. Could she be more obviously flirting? I tried to catch Shannon’s eye so we could talk about something else, but Shannon had that same adoring look riveted completely on Nikolai.

“My mom would never let me have a tattoo,” Shannon said. “You’re so lucky.”

“My dad thinks only gang members and prisoners get tattoos,” Nikolai said with a shrug. “But my mom is cool with it.”

“I wish my mom was a Gypsy,” Shannon said.

“Romany,” three of us corrected in unison, and we all laughed, even Shannon, after she grimaced a little “oopsie” face.

“Hey,” Nikolai said with a shy smile. “Happy birthday, Ana. I got you something. Remind me to give it to you, after.”

My blush deepened. “Uh, thanks.”

“Yeah, happy birthday,” Shannon added quickly.

I thanked everyone, and we all fell into an awkward kind of silence.

“So here we are,” Bea said conspiratorially. “The Four.”

We all looked at one another in turn. During the ceremony, we’d represent the four directions, the four elements, and the four winds. I would be east and represent air and new beginnings, Bea would be the fiery south with her flirtatious passion, Nikolai would be west’s deep mysterious water, and Shannon would anchor us all in earth in the north.

“Are you guys ready?” Nikolai asked. “I am so psyched.”

While everyone else nodded, I didn’t know what to say. At least since things started with me in the east, it’d be over quickly. I hated to ruin everyone’s big night, but at least they could retake the test next year. I felt especially bad for Nik. His Initiation had already been delayed because he was getting some sort of special training from his folks’ people.

“Ana? What’s wrong?” Nikolai’s soft voice cut through my tangled thoughts.

Before I could answer, Bea interrupted, “Her dad showed up tonight.”

“What? No way!” Nikolai and Shannon shouted in surprise, and then began to bombard me with questions: “Seriously? ” “What was he like?” “Is he here?” “Is he a witch?” “What did your mom do?”

Luckily, before I could even begin to formulate a response, the bell that called the meeting to order rang out. We all hushed and turned toward the center of the room where the high priestess stood. Tonight, the high priestess would be Bea’s aunt Diane, who seemed to look directly at me when she said, “I dreamed of tonight. It will be auspicious for these young people, and we shouldn’t keep them waiting any longer. We’ll set up in the grove. . . .”

Diane continued spelling out the administrative things she needed done—where people would stand, what things needed to be preplaced, and where. I knew it all already by heart, and I found myself watching Diane as she talked. Diane was a stout woman, the sort people always said looked as though they came from “sturdy, peasant stock.” Her steel gray hair was cut short. Tonight she wore a simple black button-down shirt and matching jeans that didn’t do much to flatter her gender-neutral, squarish figure. She would have looked severe and decidedly unfriendly had it not been for her quick and easy laugh. Diane found so much humor in the world that she was rarely without a broad smile or a deep, explosive belly laugh. She was a kind and fair teacher, if demanding. I always really liked Diane, even though, at first, I’d been scared of her gruff exterior.

I was glad that Diane would be the one officiating this disaster. If anyone could potentially salvage it, it would be her.

Now Diane was waving everyone off to their respective assignments. After a noisy exodus, the five of us remained in the room. Diane came up to the circle of friends, and gave each a soft smile. “Okay,” she said. “I want you all to take a moment to meditate before you take your positions in the circle. The Initiation is more than just a test. It’s a coming of age. When we are finished tonight, you will be transformed into witches of the coven—full members with all the benefits and responsibilities that entails. While you’re meditating, I want you to consider what you will contribute to our group. When you’re ready, come out with an open and willing heart.”

“In perfect love and perfect trust,” the four of us intoned with a weighty seriousness.

Diane laughed. “Remember to have fun too.”

“Thanks, Auntie Diane.” Bea smiled.

“Yeah, thanks,” the rest of us agreed, though my voice was softer and more nervous than the others’.

Diane seemed to sense my hesitation and caught my eye. She put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a quick, reassuring squeeze. “Nothing ever goes exactly as planned. Make your own destiny.”

I frowned in mild confusion. That was certainly a strange thing to say for a pep talk. “Uh, okay.”

With a nod to everyone, Diane swept out the sliding glass door with a flourish, leaving us on our own.

“What’s with the destiny thing?” Bea asked, jealousy creeping into her voice.

“Shhh,” Shannon admonished, bowing her head. “We’re supposed to be meditating.”

“I’m sure she meant that for everyone,” Nikolai said. “She just happened to be looking at Ana.”

“You guys, you’re breaking my concentration,” Shannon said, moving away from the group to stand on the other side of the built-in stone fireplace.

“Sorry. Jeez, who knew you needed absolute silence to concentrate? I thought you were supposed to be some kind of magical genius,” Bea said, though her eyes stayed locked on me.

I just wanted to shrink away from this whole affair, so I said, “I meditate better outside. I’m just going to step out onto the porch.” Before anyone could protest, I went to the back hall and grabbed my shoes. Without even bothering to put them on, I slipped through the glass door and closed it behind me.

Once outside, I let out a long, slow breath. The glow from the interior electric lights cast soft yellow light on the wide, cedar planking of the deck. A few patio chairs rested against the wall, and I plopped into one and pulled on my tennies.

Bea could be so jealous, and of the stupidest stuff. Honestly, I would happily exchange places and let Bea be the one with all the so-called “destiny” hanging over her head. Why had Diane said that, anyway? Had she dreamed something specifically about me after all? And did it have anything to do with Ramses showing up?

As if tonight needed more complications.

Once my shoes were laced, I got up to lean on the railing. The wood creaked, startling a rabbit from its hidey spot in the peonies underneath. The bright white of its cottontail quickly disappeared into the thick forest.

Was that a good omen?

Honestly, I didn’t know much about animal totems. It really wasn’t my area of expertise. Nikolai would know, though. I thought about going in and asking him, but when I glanced back at the cabin, I could see that he and Bea were holding hands, their heads bowed. Trust Bea to find a way to meditate
and
flirt!

Turning back toward the night, I glanced up at the sky. The moon rose just above the line of trees. Its cool, subtle light cast a silvery edge on everything. Magic filled the air; I could sense it. Maybe everyone was right. Perhaps I shouldn’t be so doom and gloom. Just because my powers had never manifested before didn’t mean they wouldn’t tonight, did it? The rabbit might be a good sign after all. Weren’t bunnies supposed to be all about fertility? Maybe some wild seed would sprout inside me right now, at this instant, and everything would actually work out perfectly.

Anything was possible, right?

It’s not like I didn’t believe in magic.

Thus buoyed, I skipped down the short flight of stairs and headed for the trail that led to the glen. I was as ready for the Initiation as I’d ever be. Tall grasses tugged at my jeans, and within steps of the cabin the woods became dark. I slapped at a mosquito and stumbled over a tree root. Just when I thought I should head back to the cabin for a flashlight and bug spray, I spotted a candle in a glass bowl. It floated like a flower, shedding shimmering, delicate light on the path. Two more steps revealed another.

It was a beautiful effect. I smiled when I reached a curve in the path that was slightly elevated and could see the trail of flickering lights leading to a natural opening among the trees.

Once within the circle of trees, I saw that candles had been placed in a large circle. The coveners stood in single file around the inner edge, a circle within a circle within a circle. Everyone whose eyes met mine smiled warmly and encouragingly. Mom gave me a nod and a proud look. The person standing closest to me stepped aside, and I jumped over the candle barrier and made my way into my designated spot. A larger, unlit candle had been placed at each of the exact cardinal directions. I found the one in the east, and picked up the little book of matches with trembling hands. Diane stood in the center of the circle and gave me a broad wink.

My stomach twisted in knots. I concentrated on taking slow, deep breaths and going over the words I would say in my head. I hadn’t memorized anything specific—I wasn’t supposed to. But there was a sort of order to the ritual that involved welcoming the spirits of the air, and listing some of the qualities that I wanted to invoke for the purpose of the Initiation. But nothing stayed firmly in my head for very long, and I found myself shaking even harder by the time the others made their way along the wooded path to the glen.

Bea looked very poised and pleasantly aware of the eyes on her. Nikolai took his place with a subdued seriousness, while Shannon hopped on the balls of her feet with barely contained exuberance. I slapped at a mosquito that lit on my shirtsleeve, and tried not to barf.

Diane cleared her throat. “We are gathered here tonight on this full moon to bear witness to a momentous transformation.” Her voice was clear, and she turned slowly in place to address everyone in the circle. “Tonight novices will become one with the coven, and be True Witches in their own right. Tonight these novices will come into their power. So mote it be.”

“So mote it be,” replied the coven in unison.

Bea’s dad, who was acting the part of the high priest, picked up his broom from where it lay on the ground beside him and began symbolically sweeping the edges of the circle. He moved in a counterclockwise direction, and said, “I banish negative energy from this circle.” Occasionally, as he moved past someone, he’d take an extra moment to mime brushing them off. Bea’s dad could read auras and could tell when someone was carrying extra negativity. In his day job he was a computer programmer. Other than the thick glasses and bushy beard he wore, you couldn’t tell. He biked to work every day, and had a trim, athletic body, which was currently covered in a dark, hand-sewn tunic and jeans.

When Bea’s dad got to where I stood in the east, he batted furiously at the air, as though trying to chase off a hoard of bad energy. Very self-conscious that it was my bad attitude he was battling, I tried to help by clearing my mind and centering. Closing my eyes, I drew on my inner stillness until, finally, he continued around the circle. I noticed he stopped and worked furiously at each direction, though not nearly with such animation as he had by me.

All too soon he returned to his place and it was time to begin.

I took a steadying breath, and my eyes scanned the coven and the woods beyond. In the oak trees that lined the circle, I thought I saw movement. Yes, definitely. I saw it again, a flash, almost as if there was someone waving at me, trying to get my attention. I squinted until I was almost certain that someone squatted in the branches of the trees, watching the proceedings with penetrating, unearthly eyes. In fact, there seemed to be a number of someones lurking just outside the circle. I thought I could hear their panting breath, like wolves just beyond the fold.

Others seemed to sense it too. Nikolai suddenly twisted his neck to look over his shoulder, up into the branches. Someone in the circle stifled a gasp. Diane raised her hands as though to remind everyone to focus on the Initiation. “The circle is not yet cast,” she said with a note of urgency in her voice. Until the circle was complete, we weren’t safe from outside magical attack. I thought Diane must sense the others’ presence too. With a look to me, she said, “Let us begin.”