Alone with Mr. Darcy: A Pride & Prejudice Variation (14 page)

Elizabeth had assumed her father would
visit Mr. Darcy the day after their arrival in London, but he seemed
disinclined to stir from Gracechurch Street. Finally, after three days, she
waited until she found him alone reading the newspaper. “When do you plan to
call on Mr. Darcy?” she asked, her mouth dry.

“What, in such a hurry to discover he has
deceived you?”

“Or that he has
not
deceived me. I
promised to contact him, and if you do not intend to call on him, I will send
him a letter as I originally planned.”

He folded the newspaper and set it aside.
“Lizzy, what has become of your sense of humor? Your Mr. Darcy seems to have
had an unfortunate influence over it. I have already told you what will happen
when I speak to him, and while I am in no hurry to have him laugh in my face, I
will go tomorrow. Are you satisfied?”

But the next two days brought rain, so he delayed
yet again, until Elizabeth could hardly bear to be in same room with him. All
she wanted was an end to the uncertainty. No matter how many times she reminded
herself Darcy was not like her father, the niggling doubt had taken root.

Night was falling when Mr. Bennet finally
returned. He looked calm, and a tremulous smile grew on Elizabeth’s face. She
had been right. Her father had been mistaken. She was not surprised when he
made no effort to speak to her alone immediately, since he always disliked admitting
to being in the wrong.

She found her chance just before dinner.
“May I have a moment of your time?”

He raised an eyebrow. “If you wish.”

She ushered him into the small sitting
room and closed the door. “Well?” Her heart was pounding.

Her father sank down in the upholstered
wing chair. “It was much as I told you it would be, although I give him credit;
he did not laugh when he read your letter.”

Was he teasing her? “I did not think he
would. What did he say?”

“That he was sorry the situation had
caused difficulties for you, but unfortunately marriage was not an option. As I
told you he would.”

Bile rose in the back of her throat. Could
it be true? Surely he would not have dismissed her father with nothing, not
after the extent to which he had helped Maria Lucas! “Is that all he said?”

“He offered to settle a small amount of
money on you, or alternatively to locate a man willing to marry you. And pay
him for the privilege, presumably. So I grant you, I did underestimate him in
thinking he would not care at all, but he still has no intention of marrying
you.”

So Mr. Darcy wanted to marry her off to
someone, as he had arranged to marry Maria Lucas to Chamberlayne. What a fool
she had been! Elizabeth bit her lip till it hurt, fighting to keep tears back,
tears of pain and humiliation. “And does he plan to find a husband for me,
then?” she choked out.

Her father waved his hand. “I told him we
would manage on our own, and he would have to find another way to assuage his
conscience. So that is done, and you are well rid of him. Truly, I would not
wish to see you married to that disagreeable fellow and in his
debt.”   

“So I see. Well, then, if you will excuse
me, I must see if Jane requires any assistance.” It was a very weak excuse, but
she might lose her wits if she had to keep looking at her father’s smirk. She
needed to be alone, to think. Or perhaps just to cry.

***

That night, Elizabeth crept out of the bed
she shared with Jane and tiptoed downstairs to the dark sitting room where she
could let her tears fall freely. No matter how good a face she put on during
the day, it was time to face the truth.

Mr. Darcy was not going to come to her
rescue. Why would he, after all? Marriage to her offered him nothing.
His
reputation
was unblemished, and why should he care what the people of a country town in
Hertfordshire thought of him? He had no reason to tie himself to a woman so far
beneath him. Either he had not meant his offer in the first place, or more
likely a little time and distance had reminded him of the gulf that lay between
them, not to mention all the disadvantages to him of such a match.

Oh, why had she believed him? Why had she
allowed herself to be seduced into caring for him, into thinking he cared about
her? Most likely he had simply not wished to deal with her hostility during
their involuntary confinement together, and a few kisses had broken up the
monotony of the days. What a fool she had been!

She pressed the heels of her hands into
her eyes as she struggled to muffle the sobs wrenching through her. How could
she have allowed herself to make such a terrible mistake? She had known the
sort of man he was from his behavior during his stay at Netherfield, and Mr.
Wickham had even warned her about him. But all it took was a few sweet words
and she had tumbled straight into his hands, all her misgivings forgotten. And
all these weeks she had been
missing
him and longing for his presence!

Had he been relieved when her father left
without further demands, or did he have a moment of wistful regret when he
thought of her? She would never know. After everything that had passed between
them – everything she
believed
to have been there – he was
only willing to undertake the same efforts for her sake that he had for Maria
Lucas, whom he did not even know. He had not even sent her a message through
her father. Now all she could do was to cry and pound her fists against her
thighs until the pain drowned out the ache inside her. 

***

The next day Mr. Bennet left for Longbourn
and Elizabeth began the rest of her life without Mr. Darcy. If she was paler
than normal or seemed to pick at her food, these were belied by the smiles and
teasing she forced herself to produce. She had no intention of humiliating
herself even further by confessing her foolish expectations to Jane or her
aunt.

She thought she had Jane fooled; after
all, Jane was still focused on her own disappointed hopes of Mr. Bingley. But
Mrs. Gardiner cast sharp looks in her direction from time to time, so Elizabeth
attempted to smile even more brightly.

A few days later, her uncle brought home
one of his employees for dinner. Mr. Hartshorne had seemed quite taken with
Elizabeth on one of her previous visits to London, though it had been
understood nothing more than that was possible. After all, she was a
gentleman’s daughter and he was employed in trade.

Elizabeth was as pleased to see him now as
she was likely to be to see anyone, which was only a very little, but he was a
distraction from her thoughts. At least until she noticed the glances he was
exchanging with her uncle and the oddly almost triumphant smile he wore when he
looked at her, and she realized they must have been discussing her and her
newly limited options.

Just as Mr. Darcy had paid Chamberlayne to
marry Maria Lucas, Mr. Gardiner had brought home Mr. Hartshorne. Bile rose in
Elizabeth’s throat, and she had to excuse herself to regain her composure. In
the small room she shared with Jane, she stared at her wavy reflection in the
aging mirror.

There were still more bitter facts she had
to face. She could not return to Longbourn without facing a scandal and harming
her sisters’ hopes for the future, and she could not stay with the Gardiners
forever. If Mr. Hartshorne was willing to consider her, she ought to be
grateful. After all, at least she knew he had admired her when he had nothing
to gain from it and she had enjoyed his company, and that was more than most
other men could offer. If Mr. Darcy was being practical about his marriage
options, then so must she.

 Even if the idea of marrying Mr.
Harshorne made her stomach ache.

She blew out a deep breath and pinched her
cheeks to bring color to them before she returned to the dining room, her lips
forced into a smile.

***

Darcy strode to the study with a spring in
his step. He had not expected Stanton back so quickly, or rather he had not
dared to hope for a response from Elizabeth so soon. It was not as if he had
anything of importance to say to her, certainly nothing to justify the risk of
a secret correspondence, but the pleasure of maintaining even this slight
connection to her was worth it.

Stanton usually waited for him in the
leather chair beyond his desk, but today he stood just inside the door, his
face unreadable.

Darcy motioned him to the chair. “Well?
Was your errand successful?”

“Miss Lucas is married and off to Norfolk
with her new husband, and Mr. Wickham is safely in Marshalsea Prison for
inability to pay his debts.” Stanton tossed a bundle of paper onto Darcy’s
desk. “These are from his creditors. He will not be released unless you receive
payment for these.”

“Excellent.” After what he had done to
poor Miss Lucas, Wickham deserved to rot in prison, and it would have the added
benefit of keeping him far from Elizabeth. “Were you able to deliver the letter
to Miss Elizabeth?”

“No, sir, I was not.” Stanton held out the
familiar envelope, its seal intact, but did not meet Darcy’s eyes. “The young
lady is not in Meryton.”

Not in Meryton? She had said nothing in
her recent letter about plans to travel. “Were you able to ascertain where she
is?”

Stanton shook his head, his gaze still
lowered. “No, sir. The locals seem ignorant of her whereabouts, saying only she
was sent away somewhere. The servants at Longbourn are close-mouthed and
resentful of questions when it comes to Miss Elizabeth, although they are happy
enough to gossip about her younger sisters. Her sisters are sufficiently
indiscreet that most likely I could obtain the information from one of them,
but I thought I should inform you of these events first.”

So this was more serious than a journey
for pleasure. The room suddenly seemed colder than it had a minute before. “You
say she was sent away? Why?”

Stanton finally raised his eyes to meet
Darcy’s, his face still expressionless. “It has become general knowledge that
she had an assignation with a gentleman during a recent spell of inclement
weather.”

Darcy’s throat felt thick as he faced
Stanton’s accusing gaze. “Blast it! When was this discovered?” And why had she
not informed him?

“Over a fortnight ago.”

So there had been more than enough time
for her to contact him, but she had not done so, although he had made his
wishes perfectly clear. Why had she chosen disgrace over honorable marriage to
him? It made no sense. His stomach churned. The first thing was to find her -
but he had no idea where to begin looking.

Colorlessly, Stanton said, “Shall I return
to Meryton in the morning to seek further information, sir?”

“Yes. You… No. I will take care of this
myself from here.” He reached into a desk drawer for a bank note. Stanton took
it from him, but with a hesitation which might almost have been reluctance. Was
Stanton expressing disapproval of
him
? Darcy could almost read it in his
face. “There is another matter I would like you to look into. My father’s
second wife, now remarried, lives in Devon. I would like to know anything you
can discover about her, her reputation, her behavior, her plans, and most
especially if she has been saying anything about my sister. Here is the
direction.” He handed it to Stanton.

Stanton’s eyes flickered over it. “I know
the town. I checked on her several times at your father’s behest.”

Darcy attempted to hide his surprise.
“Will she recognize you?”

“I doubt it.”

“What did you find when you went there?”

“There was little to discover. She had set
up a household in a small house on her family’s estate and was active in paying
visits in the neighborhood. Your father asked me particularly to check on
whether any gentlemen showed her particular attention, and as far as I could
discern, she took great care never to be alone with any gentleman, though she
was on friendly terms with several of them.” He folded the paper and placed it
in his coat pocket. “Will there be anything else?”

“No, that will be all.”

Stanton bowed and departed, closing the
study door behind him.

Darcy paced to the window, staring blindly
out into the garden. Devil take it, why had Elizabeth not agreed to do the
sensible thing in the first place? Then neither of their good names would have
been besmirched. But to be fair, she had not had to work hard to persuade him.
Had he realized then how much he would miss her, he would have insisted on
marriage, regardless of the need for it.

Yes, that was it. In the morning he would
do what he should have done in the first place – ride to Meryton and
speak to Mr. Bennet. He and Elizabeth would be married as soon as possible.

Suddenly he could breathe easily again.

***

Darcy chose back roads to reach Longbourn,
not wishing to draw any unnecessary attention to his visit. Presumably there
was quite enough talk about him already in Meryton, and he had no desire to be
subjected to more accusatory looks, especially when he had done everything that
could be expected of a gentleman. The fact that his accusers were unaware of
this did not make him any more comfortable.