Alpha Mine (The Alpha Council Chronicles) (36 page)

Though introduced to him earlier, Kat found nothing comforting or familiar about this man. His brow furrowed, drawing his eyebrows down menacingly over his eyes, and the perpetual frown on his face made it look hard. They had obviously saved the scariest man for last.

A cold sweat broke out on Katrina’s forehead. It seemed all the men were trying to use mental powers to help her regain her memory. She felt their presences in her mind as they worked with her. The thought that the enormous man in front of her now might also invade her mind terrified her.

Without so much as a hello, he grabbed her head with his large hands on each side of her face and brought it forward until their foreheads touched.

“Close your eyes,” he barked at her. “I want you to think about the first memory you have after the amnesia and we will work back from there. I want you to think about driving to the ranch.”

Katrina’s body trembled. She felt the man’s power surround her, push into her mind. His mental touch bordered on painful, causing her to shrink from his touch, but Demetri held her fast. Completely at his mercy, she felt wholly trapped with this man. Only her desire to retrieve her memory kept her from screaming out.

When the session ended, Katrina slumped in her chair the moment Demetri’s large hands released her head, grateful that the painful session had ended. Relief consumed her, not because her memory was back, but because she was glad to have some space between her and Demetri when he left the library. She remained seated after he left her without saying a word, trying to work up the courage to go down and face the overwhelming men below.

The sound of the stairs creaking under Demetri’s massive muscular weight drew Stephan’s attention.

“I’ll give you this, the female has courage,” Demetri said as he descended the stairs. “I could smell her fear while I worked with her, but she stayed with me and tried her best to remember.”

“Well, how did it go?” asked Stephan hopefully.

“I’m sorry. I’m afraid it didn’t work,” Demetri announced to the group, coming to sit beside Nicholai on the black couch.

Alexander crossed his legs at the ankles on the coffee table. “Well, that’s it then. We’ve all tried to help Kat get her memories back.”

“All but Michael,” accused Vladimir in this thick accent.

Marcus turned a questioning look to Stephan. “Yeah, that’s right. Where is Michael anyway?”

“He mentioned something about being in the middle of a building project back in Savannah. He took the first available flight home,” Stephan informed the group.

Marcus tsked. “Leave it to Michael to put his own needs first.”

“I want to thank you all for trying to help Kat.” Stephan met each Alpha’s eyes in a show of respect, then leaned his head back against the couch in resignation.

There was no hope now. They’d tried everything they could think of to help Kat. He would just have to accept that her memories were lost forever, and he had only himself to blame.

“With Gage gone, Kat’s safe. We could finally be together for eternity and I’ve ruined it.” Stephan turned his down-trodden face toward Nicholai. “I’ve taken away any chance we had at being happy. She might never love me again.” The thought made his heart clench with a fear that sent a shudder down his spine.

“I’m really sorry,” sympathized Marcus. “If I had just let you drink from her the first night you met, you would have known she was your heartmate and things might have been different.”

“You were only trying to protect her, and I thank you for that.” Stephan laid a consoling hand on Marcus’ shoulder before continuing. “I mean it, thank you for protecting her and keeping her safe these past years. I can never tell you how grateful I am that she had you to watch over her. Even if we do not have a future together, I will be forever grateful for the brief time we had.”

Nicholai leaned forward, resting his hands on his knees when he spoke. “I hold it true, whate’er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; ‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

“Exactly. I now truly understand what Alfred, Lord Tennyson meant by that.” Stephan scrubbed his hand through his dark hair.

For the first time in his long, long life Stephan felt totally helpless. Unable to help Kat retrieve her memories, he was now at great risk of losing her forever. If she could not remember her feelings for him, she might decide to leave him. He could not stomach the thought. A knot formed in his throat as he tried to imagine him letting her go. Again.

It would be impossible, he knew. He’d loved her even before he discovered she was his heartmate. Now that he’d tasted her blood, his need for her drew him to her. He would always be tied to her soul, her body, her blood. She was the other half of him. Without her he could not live, but being without her was exactly what he now faced due to his decision to take her memories of him.

Kat quietly descended the stairs, trying not to draw attention to herself. Of course that only resulted in complete silence. Six pairs of eyes rounded on her as she made her way down. She felt self-conscious in the penthouse with a bunch of strangers who apparently knew her, but she couldn’t remember any of them. Oh sure, all the men had been nice enough to help her, even the scary ones, but she still felt awkward around so many people she didn’t know, especially when they kept asking her to remember stuff.

“Don’t let me interrupt. I was just going into the kitchen for a bite to eat,” she volunteered and made her way through the room. She heard the murmuring start up behind her as she entered the kitchen.

After pulling open the door to the fridge, she leaned over and opened the crisper drawer withdrawing an apple. She’d just taken a juicy bite of the Red Delicious when she turned to find Nicholai had joined her. She jumped in surprise. How was it that these large men moved without a sound?

“Can I get you something to eat?” offered Katrina.

“Sure,” he replied with a kind smile.

“What would you like?” Katrina opened the refrigerator wide so Nicholai could see the possibilities inside.

He eyed the apple in Kat’s hand with desire. “That apple actually looks good. Is there another one?”

Kat reached in, grabbed another Red Delicious, and gave it a toss in Nicholai’s direction. He easily plucked it from the air as he moved with her to the kitchen table. Kat’s eyes widened when he set a faux leather bound book down onto the table.

“I think you should see this, Katrina.” Nicholai tapped the book with one finger.

Nerves tightened her stomach. “What is it?”

“Just a little something I thought you might enjoy.”

Kat really liked his thick accent. It made her think of cold Russian nights under warm cozy blankets.
Yummy,
she thought taking a bite of her apple.

“Go ahead open it.” He pushed the book across the table so it came to rest in front of Kat.

Kat opened the book gingerly and Nicholai took a generous bite from his apple. Her mouth gaped open when she saw what was contained within.

Chapter 43

Marcus fell onto the couch beside Stephan, and slapped him on the back with a rough hand. His gaze raked Stephan’s face steadily. “You look long in the tooth.”

“With each breath I take, I smell honeysuckle. It’s everywhere. It surrounds me.”
Touches every place in my heart.
“She is such a part of me, and yet she doesn’t even know me.”

“Well you can fix that,” suggested Marcus. “Give her time. She fell in love with you once, she’ll do it again.”

“I don’t even know if she has any idea what she does to me.”
She completes me and I will love her forever.
“I want to spend the rest of my life by her side, loving her, protecting her, caring for her. Forever.”

“I know you will get your chance,” assured Marcus. “The two of you were meant to be together. You won her heart once, you’ll win it again. I don’t doubt that for a minute.”

“I wish I had your confidence.” Stephan shook his head slowly back and forth. “I hope you are right.”

“I know I am. Give her some time, some space. Let her get to know you again. She’ll come around, just like she did before. And just think you’ve already won her once, so you know what to do.” A reassuring smile that reached his eyes lit Marcus’ face. “Not to mention the worst is over for now. We can breathe again knowing that she is at least out of danger.”

Stephan sighed, ringing the back of his neck with one tired hand in an attempt to ease the tension in his muscles. “I can only hope you are right, Marcus,” he repeated. “I don’t know what I would do if I lost her. I don’t think I could live.”
It hurts because there is no sparkle in her eye when I reach for her, no love in her voice when she says my name.
“
It’s killing me to know what we had; what I might have ruined forever.”

“Let’s look on the bright side,” said Marcus, ever the optimist. “She’s here in your house. She isn’t running in fear of us. She hasn’t asked to go back to the ranch. She has been willing to talk to us and listen to what we have to say about the memories. I’ve been reading her as I’m sure you have too. You know she believes us about her past.”

Stephan nodded in acquiesce. “Thank the Fates we have pictures to prove we knew her so she will never have reason to doubt us.”

“Exactly, see it’s not all bad. Tonight’s our last night all of the Alphas will be together. Why don’t we try to have a little fun. Have some alcohol, a little food and blood—behind Kat’s back of course,” Marcus added quickly when Stephan threw him an are-you-kidding-me glance. “And who knows where the night will lead for you and Kat.”

Alexander moved behind them. “I have to agree with Marcus. If you just give her time, she’ll come around. You’ll see.” He rested both hands on the back of the couch. “For tonight just have fun. Show her a good time. That’s the first step in dating a woman.”

“All right,” Stephan agreed reluctantly. “Perhaps you two are right.”

Marcus clapped his hands together once and rubbed them heartily. “Sounds like party time. Let’s break out the C and C.”

“C and C?” asked Alex, straightening.

“Cuisine and cocktails,” explained Marcus with a grin.

“Make mine Vodka—straight up,” chimed in Vlad, who had been silently listening to the conversation up until then.

Demetri, echoing Vlad’s look of elation, said, “Make mine a true Bloody Mary if you would.”

“Will do,” Marcus replied and turned on the stereo before making his way to the bar.

****

Flipping through the book Nicholai had given her, Kat’s perusal of the photos made her frustrated. She couldn’t remember being at the places she saw in the pictures, did not remember having worn those costumes before.

In the picture she now looked at she wore a Cleopatra costume and stood next to a man dressed as a mummy. She tapped the mummy costume. “Who’s that?” she asked taking another bite from her apple.

“I believe that is Marcus. From what I understand the two of you loved dressing up on Halloween,” Nicholai informed her.

“Huh.” She huffed, turning her blue-gray eyes to the next picture. This time her face and the face of the person beside her were quite visible. In the picture, she and Marcus stood side by side at the Hoover Dam.

As she flipped through the album she noted how at ease and happy she appeared in all the photographs. Each smile seemed genuine. She ran her hand over the cellophane covered photos, wishing she could remember something of them, even just one, but none of the memories came to her.

She continued to peruse the album until she came to a picture of her and Stephan sitting in a gondola. “Did I ever go to Italy?” she asked in surprise.

Nicholai swallowed his mouthful of apple and chuckled. “I don’t think so. If memory serves me, I believe that is the gondola ride in the Florencia Hotel here in Vegas.”

“Ohhh.” She ran one finger down the picture of Stephan’s face, circling it on his chest. She noticed how instead of looking at the camera like she had been, his head was turned toward her. The look on his face, one of total rapture, made him seem like he was having the time of his life just sitting there next to her.

She breathed a heavy sigh.

“Do you remember anything?” Nicholai asked quietly.

She looked down again at the picture before shaking her head and replying solemnly, “No. Not a thing.”

“Well, that is okay.” Nicholai shrugged. “It was worth a try. I hoped reviewing some pictures might run your memory.”

Kat looked at him with confusion. “You mean
jog
my memory?”

“Yes, yes. Sometimes my English still gets mixed up,” he apologized with a shy smile. “So did any of the pictures jog your memory?”

Kat shook her head and took a last bite of her apple.

“I am sorry, Katrina. I hoped the pictures would help.”

“I wish I could remember. We seemed so happy.” She laid her hand over the picture of her and Stephan as a song whispered into the kitchen from the living room.

After chucking their apple cores into the trash free throw style, Nicholai rested his elbows on the table and steepled his fingers, thoughtfully resting his chin on his index fingers as they touched.

“Let me ask you something Katrina. Do you know how long some people wait to find true love?” Not waiting for her answer his rhetorical question, Nicholai continued, “Some people wait a lifetime and never find it. If you knew the love of your life stood in the next room, would you not go to him?”

Would she? Yes, she decided, she would.

“Love requires bravery, a leap of faith. Will you leap, Katrina?”

Before Kat could respond, Nicholai stood, smiled down at her and extended his hand. “Come, let us go join the party.”

Kat took his hand wondering what the evening might bring if she just dared to leap.

Chapter 44

Kat sat in the living room surrounded by beautiful specimens of male virility and she would have had to be dead not to notice. Each man was handsome in his own way from Alex’s cowboy looks to Vlad’s dark chiseled features. All of them had an air of confidence about them, like they would gladly take on the world and knew they would win. But it was Stephan to whom her gaze kept returning.