Always Conall (Bitterroot #2) (17 page)

“Went to see my mom.”

“Oh… geez,” she groaned. “Did you tell her about Conall?”

“Yep.
And she’s got all kinds of wacky ideas about a happily ever after.”

“You know, they may not be so wacky, Sage. But, regardless, I’m going to get your mind off things. Where are you at now?”

“Just leaving Mom’s apartment.”

“Okay, meet me at your place. I have somewhere I want to take you.”

Sage

Brynn’s idea to keep me from dwelling on Conall and Mattie certainly did exactly that.

She pulled up in front of a little store that I hadn’t even known existed.

“What is this, some sort of small boutique or salon something?” I asked. It was hard to tell just what sort of shop it was. The windows were tinted dark and a faint shadow of lace could barely be seen. No displays. No signs other than the scripted one over the door that read “
Eden
.”

“Or something…” she smiled with a shrug. “I need to pick up a surprise for Kian. Come on…”

I followed her into the dimly lit store, and was immediately hit with a dark, erotic incense that sent a tingle through my stomach. My eyes perused the shelves and displays.

Oh my God.

It was a sex shop.

Oh. My.
God.

In my shock, I glanced over at Brynn who was watching me with a devious smile on her face.

“Oh, don’t go all virgin on me now,” she laughed. “You’ve got a kid. You know what sex is.”

“Yeah, but… oh my God…” It was all I could think and apparently all I could say. Then it hit me…
Brynn… and Kian…
“Wait, you said we were here to get a surprise for Kian. You and Kian are into stuff like this?”

“Don’t knock it ‘till you try it,” Brynn shrugged before she turned towards a shelf of gleaming jewelry. “Ooh, pretty.
Exactly what I was looking for.” She held up a pair of what sort of looked like earrings (but not) covered with rhinestones that glittered as she jiggled the packaging a little. I looked a little closer and read what they were, realizing where they were supposed to go.

“Oh my God.”

Brynn laughed.

“Those go on your nipples?
How?”

“Well, I’m not going to show you.
Google it.” At my horrified expression, she quickly added, “Actually, don’t Google it. It would probably scare the shit out of you.”

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

Brynn only smiled wistfully and shrugged. “That’s not necessarily a bad thing, Sage.”

“Oh my God.”

“Actually, though,” she put the set back and grabbed a different one, this one had a chain. And three of the clippie parts. “This is more of what I wanted.”

“Oh my God,” I murmured…
again
. “I’m a little afraid to ask, but where does the third one go?”

“Guess.”

“Oh my God.”

Brynn laughed again. “Would you stop saying that? Here,” she said, turning towards a shelf full of items that seriously made me blush.
Penises in every size and color. Other things that were obviously meant to simulate a cock, but didn’t seem to have the graphic characteristics. I was almost too embarrassed to look, yet, like a hideous car wreck, I couldn’t pull my eyes away. “Let’s look over here. You need to branch out, but with something less scary. Let’s find you a nice new vibrator.”

“I don’t even have a nice old vibrator,” I murmured.

“Oh, dear. You’re totally missing out then.”

“Really,
Brynn… I don’t need a vibrator. I’m just… um…” I looked around at the room to see a large display of…
tails?
“Holy shit… are those tails?”

“Yep.
On plugs,” Brynn smiled.

“Plugs?”
I asked and looked at them again. “Oh, plugs! Oh my God! Those look like pony tails.”

Brynn began to laugh, pulling down a plug with a long, silky purple swirl of pony tail. “You could totally dress up like Twilight Sparkle.”

“Right, like that’s going to happen.” I was part mortified… yet, to be completely honest, I was also part…
intrigued
.

“Never say never,”
she grinned. “I’m
totally
buying this for you. I have to. It’s too funny.”

“No, you don’t. You really don’t.”

But she totally bought it anyway. I was
totally
mortified. Pretty sure I’d never stop blushing again as long as I lived.

As soon as I got home, the pony plug tail thingy went straight in my dresser drawer, not even removed from the bag, and I vowed that it would never ever
ever
be removed from the packaging.

Ever.

Oh. My. God.

But Brynn had been right about one thing.

She definitely got my mind off Conall and Mattie for a bit.

Conall

I opened the back door of my pickup to help Mattie out of her little purple and silver car seat. I’d gone back to Target and bought a second one on my way over to Kian’s gym that afternoon, hoping she’d feel more comfortable with me if she had some familiar items around.

Hence the stuffed Twilight Sparkle (I could finally remember that one pony’s name anyway) that she snuggled tightly in her pudgy little arms.

After leaving Brynn and Kian’s, we’d gone to Toys R’ Us, and she picked out the soft and snuggly pony to cuddle, along with a couple My Little Pony coloring books, one of which came with stickers and a packet of pastel crayons. Then we went to Dairy Queen for Oreo Blizzards, and colored together (yes, I colored in a My Little Pony coloring book in the middle of Dairy Queen) while she chattered my ear off telling me even more about her ponies.

Apparently, I hadn’t learned everything there was to know before after all. She said I could be a Brony, which made me smile even if it still seemed kind of emasculating to a certain extent. She even gave me the Brony sticker from the coloring book, some pony
prince dude, and told me to keep it in a safe place, so I stuck it to the center of my billfold.

So manly.

We walked to a nearby pet store where she
oohed
and
ahhed
over the hamsters and guinea pigs. The lizards and fish intrigued her. The snakes and spiders made her jump up into my arms and bury her face in my neck. I held her close and carried her away from the creepy little critters, feeling a little awed by the trust she placed in me. Almost choking up a little at the thought that she knew her daddy would take care of her.

The whole afternoon was really…
phenomenal
. Exhausting. Amusing and enlightening.

The only part missing was Sage.

Evidently, Mattie sort of felt it, too. “I miss Mommy,” she said quietly on the way back to the apartment.

“I’ll bet Mommy misses you, too,” I offered.

“Do you think she was lonely?”

I’d been trying not to think of that all afternoon. But seeing the tears in her eyes as she’d driven away… she was probably a wreck. “I think she’ll be really happy to see you, kiddo,” I replied.

Sage quickly opened the door when we reached the top of the stairs, making me think she’d been sitting on the edge of her seat waiting and listening. She appeared almost breathless at first glance, smiling at me nervously, then pursing her lips at the stuffed pony in Mattie’s arms.

With my shrug, she chuckled slightly in defeat. “You’re hopeless.”

“I’ve got five years of being a sucker to make up for,” I smiled wryly. “So what did you do with your day?”

Sage immediately blushed scarlet and quickly turned away. “Oh, just hung out with Brynn…” she murmured. “Hey, Mattie, why don’t you go put your pony on your bed and
wash your hands for dinner.”

“Okay, Mommy,” Mattie called out as she skipped down the hallway.

Sage smiled and turned back to me, looking shy and uncomfortable all of a sudden. “You’re welcome to stay, if you want. For dinner. It isn’t anything too exciting, just chicken and rice soup, but…”

Fuck
, I wanted to. Badly.

“I’d really,
really
love to, Sage, but I can’t. I’ve got a lot to do at the ranch to make up for being gone all day,” I said, setting down a bag that contained all the things Mattie had talked me into buying that day. “Here’s a bunch of stuff that we picked up. Coloring books and a few other things she picked out.”

“Do you want to take it with you?” Sage offered. “Keep it out at your place? It makes sense for you to have some stuff for her.”

Oddly, the thought hadn’t really occurred to me that she’d ever be out on the ranch with me. Not that I didn’t want her there, but I hadn’t considered that Sage would let me.

“When I was out there the other day
,” she said, “before… well, you know… um, I was talking to Jacob. It crossed my mind that Mattie would love it out there. The cows and the chickens and the baby horse.” Sage chewed at her lip for a second. “Since we’re working on getting a parenting plan written up, it might be good for you to start pulling some things together. So she feels at home when she starts staying out there with you sometimes.”

“Yeah,” I said in a bit of a stupor, still slightly amazed that she’d trust me with that.
And more than a little freaked out by it. But in kind of a good way. A freaky good way.

“Maybe one of these weekends, you could take her out there,” she suggested.

“You’d let me?” I blurted out.

“She’s your daughter, too, Conall
,” she wistfully reminded me.

“I know, I just…” I started and then my voice trailed off. Sage was shaking like a leaf, and I realized how hard this was for her. How much this really meant. Respect swelled inside me, appreciation and concern. “Thank you.”

“See? We can do this…” she said, releasing a deep breath.

Just then Mattie came galloping down the hallway. “Daddy better wash his hands,” she chirped as she headed to the kitchen.

“I can’t stay, kiddo,” I said, stopping her in her tracks. “I’ve gotta get back out to the ranch to feed all the critters.”

“But you’re my daddy,” she said, her face falling. “You’re s
’posed to be with us.”

I walked over to her, kneeling down and to focus on her shattered little expression. “Mattie, we’re still kind of figuring out how all this is going to work.
Because, sometimes mommies and daddies don’t live together. But I promise that I’ll
always
be your daddy. You’re stuck with me, kiddo.”

“It’s kinda like your friend Rachel,” Sage offered. “She lives with her mommy sometimes and her daddy sometimes. So
… sometimes, you’ll be here with me, and sometimes you’ll be out at the ranch with your daddy.”

“At the ranch?”
Mattie’s eyes went wide. “With the horsies?”

And just like that, she was over it.

I mean, really. Like anything could compare with horses. Even her mom and me, apparently. I chuckled a little. “Yeah, with the
horsies
.”