Always in my Heart (The Subzero Series, #2) (12 page)

We all burst out laughing as I try as hard as I possibly can to not picture my future brother in laws bare ass – bunny tan lines or not.

“You know there was this time Tyler was going to the store. He made this list of things he needed to get and he asked me to write down anything I needed. It just so happened that particular week I needed tampons,” I smile and laugh at the memory I was sharing. “So I wrote regular tampons on the list and Tyler came back with a box that said super on them. I asked him why he bought me missile sized tampons and he said because he though super sounded better than regular.”

We all started laughing.

“Oh, I can see that!” Skylar exclaimed. “I mean I can actually picture him in the aisle, looking at the different boxes wondering why on earth you would want something regular when you could have something super!”

“That’s actually kind of cute.” Caroline says.

I nod as I look around the table at the girls I am sitting with. Two hours ago I felt like I wouldn’t smile at anything anytime soon. It’s amazing what being around a few good friends can do for your soul.

“Thanks girls, I really needed to laugh.” I say.

“Are you feeling any better?” Caroline asks.

I press my lips together sadly and shake my head. “No but at least for a little while I wasn’t so consumed with how broken my heart is. I just never thought Tyler would do this. I mean, I knew she had a thing for him. She wasn’t exactly shy about it so I’m not surprised she tried something. What I didn’t expect was for him to tell me that he kissed her back after he got caught thinking he could keep it from me.”

“Are you going to talk to him?” Chloe asks.

“At some point I guess I have to but I’m not doing it until I’m ready. Right now I can’t talk to him.”

My phone vibrates in my purse. I pull it out to see that it’s Tyler calling me...again. Just seeing his name on my phone makes my heart plummet. I sigh and look at Chloe.

“I think I’m ready to go. I’m just...emotionally drained.” I say.

She nods as she stands up. We say our goodbyes and head for home...well Chloe’s home anyway.

My phone rings again as I am climbing in to bed. I have to put a stop to this. If he loves me, if he truly and honestly loves me he’ll leave me be and give me some time.

––––––––

I
’m a wanker. A complete sodding wanker.

I’m pretty sure the reason Abby has left me is because I didn’t tell her about that kiss and not so much because the kiss actually happened. Although I am sure she is pretty cross that the kiss happened in the first place. I can’t believe I didn’t notice any one snapping pictures. Not that I am trying to justify myself and my actions. I should have told her to stop but I didn’t. I also shouldn’t have kissed her back.

I plop down onto the couch, lean my elbows on my knees and drop my face into my hands. My cellphone starts blaring inside my pocket. I pull it out, glance down at the screen and sigh when I see Chloe’s name on the display.

Great, just what I need right now.

The question is, am I getting a call from Chloe my publicist or Chloe my girlfriend’s sister?

“Hello Chloe.’

“Hi Tyler,” She pauses. “You want to tell me what happened?”

I tell her the whole story not leaving out a single thing. I tell her about the guys warning me about Cath’s intentions and Cath asking me to walk her out. I tell her about closing my eyes and Cath kissing me and me finally stopping her.

“She hates me now.”

“I don’t think she hates you.”

“I need to win her back.”

“Just give her some time.”

“I can’t do that,”

“Tyler...”

“No,” I cut her off. “Whatever you are about to say, my answer is no. I love that woman and I am going to do whatever it takes to win her back. You just wait and see.”

About an hour after Abby leaves a knock sounds at my door. I rush over to it and swing it open, my heart pounding with hope and high expectations, only to find Jack on the other side.

“Damn...I was hoping it was Abby at the door. I didn’t expect to see your ugly mug.” I say.

“Hey now, my mum says I’m beautiful on the inside and that’s all that counts,” Jack jokes. “Besides, why would Abby knock on the door?”

I shrug. “Maybe to add a tiny bit of dramatic flair to the situation?”

“I think your situation has enough dramatic flair. What the hell happened?”

Jack follows me into the living room where I drop myself back down onto the couch. I cross my arms over my eyes and shake my head.

“I’m assuming it involves Cath. I told you to stay away from that girl.” Jack says as he sits down next to me.

“I thought I was in control of the situation.”

“I sure hope you are prepared to grovel at Abby’s feet because that girl is upset.”

“She was pretty angry when she left here.”

“She was crying when I left my place.”

I mutter a string of profanities under my breath.

“I suggest figuring out what you are going to do to get her back and doing it soon. I have a feeling if you and Abby break up Cath isn’t going to hesitate to jump right in. If she kissed you while you were in a relationship, lord only knows what she will do to you if you’re single.”

I need a plan...a good plan...one that works.

What exactly does one do to say “I’m sorry for kissing another woman and not telling you only for you to find out along with lord only knows how many other people when you read it in some shoddy rag of a magazine?”

Seems to me, and I am no expert, that it is going to take a lot more than flowers and candy to get Abby back.

I’ve been ringing her phone all evening and it keeps going to voicemail. Finally, after what must be the thirtieth time I’ve called in nearly three hours, she answers the phone.

“What part of I don’t want to talk to you do you not get?” She asks angrily.

“Oh I get it.”

“Then why do you keep calling me?”

“Because I want to let you know that I’m not giving up on us.”

“Tyler...”She pauses to sigh and I take that opportunity to say what I want to say.

“I love you and, no matter what you say, I know you love me too. I’m not calling to beg you to take me back. I’m calling to tell you that I’m not giving up. I’m going to win you back. I haven’t the slightest idea how, but I will come up with something and it will blow you away.”

“I have to go Tyler. I can’t talk to you right now.” She says, her voice faltering.

I can hear the sadness in her voice and it rips me apart because I did that to her. I hurt her. I made her cry. I made her leave. Now I have to make it better.

“Ok Abby. I just...I want you to know I love you and I am so, so sorry I hurt you.”

She pauses and I can hear her crying softly on the other end.

“Goodbye Ty.”

She hangs up the phone and I am left feeling like an ass.

I know I need to give her time and that’s why I am going to fight the urge to call, text, email or Facebook her. I’m not cutting off all contact with her though because she has to know how much I want her.

The first thing I do the next morning is ring the florist. A friendly sounding woman answers the phone, asking how she can help me.

“Yes,” I say. “I am a total jackass that did something stupid followed by something even stupider and I need to send flowers to the woman I love as soon as possible. What flowers do you recommend when trying to say I’m sorry I’m such a cock up and I’ll never do it again? Not roses though. She doesn’t like them because she feels they are overrated as a flower...Though I am sure your roses are simply lovely.”

“Well, how much trouble are you in dear?” She asks.

“I’m on the verge of losing her.” I cringe as I admit it.

“If that is the case, you may want to stick to something safe, such as her favorite flower. You don’t want to upset her any more than you have. Do you know what her favorite flower is?”

“An orchid, she loves this kind of orchid. It starts with a D or maybe there is a D in the name...or maybe it’s an S.”

“Could it be the Dendrobium Orchid?”

“Yes! Yes! That’s it. I only remember that because it somehow makes me think of some sort of a constellation.”

“Dendrobium Orchids are quite lovely. We can do that in a bouquet of fifteen stems or thirty.”

“Thirty please, as big and beautiful as you can make it. I need all the help I can get.”

“Would you like a vase to go with it? You can choose from clear, purple or silver.”

“Purple please. It’s her favorite color.”

“What would you like the card to say?”

I hesitate for a moment. I need this card to say the perfect thing...but is there even a perfect thing to say in this situation?

“Sometimes less is more, dear.”

“Could you make it say I’m sorry for betraying you and breaking your heart? I love you forever, Tyler.”

“And the name of the recipient?”

“Abigail Carver.”

I give her Abby’s address at Chloe and Jack’s and also order a second bouquet to be delivered to the bakery. The second bouquet is a mix of Asiatic and Peruvian lilies. I have no idea what those are but the lady on the phone assures me they are gorgeous.

Next I ring up this place called The Naughty Chocolatier. They have these white mint truffles that Abby loves. I get the girl to send out two chocolate truffle towers - one to Jack and Chloe’s and one to the bakery, just as I did with the flowers.

I feel like I need to send her something else but what?

I wonder if Chloe would be upset if I sent a puppy over there for Abby?

Most likely she would not be too happy and I already have one Carver woman upset with me. No need to add another one. The picture albums on the bookshelf catch my eye and I walk over to pull them off. I sit down on the sofa and start flipping through them. There are pictures from our first date. I took her to this place called Medium Groove’s which is a jazz bar. We had the best time. I knew that night she was the woman for me.

I took a picture from that night, one from our first Christmas together, one from the day we moved in together, one from this past New Year’s where we are kissing and tinker tape is falling all around us and one from our last date, when we went to the speakeasy bar. I know I said I wasn’t going to email her but I never said anything about tacking things to Jack’s door when I know she isn’t home. Plus, I’m just going to write something on a sticky note not send some long drawn out letter so it’s different.

I grab a sticky note and a pen and write a simple
I love you – Ty.

I place the pictures inside an envelope with the sticky and write her name on the front.

I glance at the clock and mutter a string of profanities when I see the time. Grabbing the envelope, my keys and my cellphone, I rush out the door, jump into my car and drive over to Jack’s flat. I don’t see his truck or Abby’s car in the parking lot. Chloe doesn’t have a car, but that doesn’t really matter since I am about ninety eight percent sure she is at work right now. I park my car, grab the envelope and jog up the steps to the third floor. I don’t have any tape to stick the envelope to the door, and I don’t really want to cram it underneath, so I finagle it inside this weird wreath hanging on the door that Chloe made out of wine corks. 

There’s a part of me the wants to knock on the door just to see if maybe someone is home but I don’t know what I would say if anyone actually answered. Plus, I was supposed to be at the studio about two hours ago.

~*~

“W
here have you been?” Noah asks as I rush into the control room.

He is sitting in there with Domino, Bash, Colin, Ann and Marie. Cath, Dean and Jack are in the recording booth strumming on their guitars. Domino presses a couple of buttons and Noah and Ann’s voices flow through the speakers.

“Did Jack tell you?” I asked him.

Noah frowns as he glances through the window at Jack and then back to me. “No, he didn’t tell me anything. What’s going on?”

“Abby left me.” I say.

I glance warily at Ann and Marie, not wanting to say too much because I don’t know what they would say to Cath and I don’t want to deal with her right now.

“She left you?” Noah asks, sounding somewhat surprised. “Why?”

“Because I got caught kissing Cath and I kept it from her.”

“Wait...what?”

I roll my eyes not really interested in rehashing this but feeling as though I have no choice because I already said something to him. I take a deep breath and sigh.

“When we were at Barnaby’s and I walked Cath outside. She kissed me and I kissed her back. I keep it from Abby because it didn’t mean anything but the guilt was getting to me and I decided to tell her but before I got a chance, pictures of me and Cath kissing showed up in some tabloids and she saw them. She asked me to leave and I said no so she left. I spent the morning sending her flowers and chocolates and pictures of us...anything I can think of to win her back.”

“Alright, guys that’s it for now. Come on out so we can get the drums laid out now that Tyler has decided to grace us with his presence.” Domino says to Cath, Dean and Jack through the intercom.

I feel everyone turn and stare at me. Without saying anything to anyone, I grab my drumsticks out of my back pocket and head into the recording booth. Once Marie is set up at hers, Bash gets on the microphone and tells us to go ahead.

I glance over at Marie and she moves her lips to count us in without actually saying anything. I start playing and every emotion I have felt over the couple of days flows through my fingers and into my drum sticks. I am beating my floor tom, rack toms and crash cymbals so hard that I am surprised my drums stick aren’t cracking in half. I don’t think I have ever played the drums with so much feeling before and the more I drum, the more my emotions are all over the place. I’m sad and I’m angry and I’m hopeful and I’m furious.

I’m angry that Cath kissed me knowing that I have a girlfriend and I’m furious that I kissed her back. That’s not me. I’m not that guy. I’ve never been that guy.

I am so into the drumming zone that I don’t even hear Bash tell us to take a break. I probably would have kept slamming my sticks against my drums if Dean hadn’t run up and grabbed my crash cymbals.