Always Me (19 page)

“Because of the things I said.” I traced one of his tattoos with my finger, bracing myself over what he would say next.

He pulled his arm out from under the pillow and cupped my cheek in his hand. “You had every right to say what you did. I was an ass, and you should be mad at me.”

I kissed his palm, curling my fingers in his. “I was. Now…I don’t know. I just…”

“Tori,” he kissed my forehead. “I’m sorry for practically attacking you last night. I shouldn’t have done that but…I can’t control myself when you’re mad.” He cleared his throat. “It was a dick move on my part, and I’m so sorry.”

My cheeks heated at the memory, but I no longer felt the shame I felt before going to bed. Waking up to him helped ease that feeling. “Well, it was pretty intense, but I didn’t say no or stop. I’m sorry for…”

He silenced me with a kiss. “Stop. You don’t have to apologize for anything.” Sebastian smiled. “I just have one thing to say though.”

“Oh?” My gaze flicked to his.

He smirked. “Angry sex with you is fucking hot.”

I giggled and snuggled against his arm. “Yeah…it was pretty amazing. I just didn’t like the feeling of…”

“The feeling of what?” he asked quietly.

“I felt ashamed because I couldn’t control myself and let you...do…yeah…” I cleared my throat and looked away.

“I’m sorry, baby. I don’t ever want to make you feel that way again,” he said softly.

I smiled lightly. “I know. I just don’t like being told what’s good for me. I’m an adult. We’re in this together. I love you and…” I sighed and leaned my head against his arm. Tracing the outline of the tattoo,
Amore
, curiosity got the best of me. “Who did you get this tattoo for?”

“Why do you assume I got it for someone?” There was a twinkle in Sebastian’s eyes as they looked at me intently. Such a tease.

“Well I know it means love in Italian and you wouldn’t get it just because...” My cheeks heated at his intense gaze.

Sebastian took a deep breath. “I got it for a friend who had the same tattoo that died. It’s a tribute to him.”

“Oh.” The jealousy that soared through me originally simmered.

A smug grin formed on his face. “You thought I got it for a woman, didn’t you?”

I scoffed and pulled away. “No. I would never think that.”

Sebastian grabbed my arm, pulling me under him. “No? What if I did get it for a woman? What would you say?”

I huffed. “That’s not something that I really want to think about.”

He laughed. “There has been no other woman who makes me feel the way you do. I was yours from the first time I found out that you read porn.”

“It’s not porn,” I exclaimed, giggling.

“Baby, words or pictures…either way, if there’s explicit sex, it’s porn,” he teased. “I had a feeling you were kinky when I first met you, and I was right.”

“I don’t see you complaining.”

His eyes darkened and he leaned down, placing a soft kiss on my lips. “Not at all. That’s why we do so well together.”

I smiled and cupped his cheek in my hand. “Now as long as that woman that you supposedly didn’t get the tattoo for is no longer in your life, than we won’t have any issues.”

His gaze darkened. “Oh baby, I love the jealous feistiness that comes out of you, but don’t worry, there is no other woman in my life, and none of my tattoos are for a woman either. Not yet anyway.”

I breathed a sigh of relief and then frowned. “Not yet?”

He grabbed my waist, flipping me onto my stomach and started tickling me.

Laughter burst from my middle, as my body shook through the torture. “Stop. Oh God, stop.”

He laughed along with me as his fingers tickled my sides.

“Please,” I gasped, tears rolling down my cheeks. “I...I…can’t take anymore.”

His tickles slowed and he covered me with his hard body. “I love your laugh. Feel better baby?”

I sighed, happily. “Yeah, I do.” It was’ like the laughter released all of the tension from the last two years, and I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

“If I were to get a tattoo for a woman, it would be for you.” Sebastian moved my hair from my nape and placed kisses on my skin.

My heart swelled. The thought of seeing my name etched on Sebastian’s body was seriously sexy.

“You’re so beautiful in the morning,” his hand roamed down the side of my body.

I smiled, snuggling into my pillow. “I am?”

“Yeah, you are. I love waking up to you.”

My heart fluttered and I kissed the
Amore
tattoo. “What happened to your friend?”

“Bad business deal gone wrong.”

“Oh…did you want to talk about it?”

He looked at me, his jaw clenching and unclenching. “A friend of mine and I were with this guy, his name was Nico Reyes. Good kid, just hung out with the wrong people.”

The lines in his forehead dug deep, and his jawbone flexed.

“We had gone to this drug dealer to pick up a load for Jose, and it backfired. After we gave them the money, we got jumped. Nico…yeah…he didn’t make it.”

“How old was he?”

“Sixteen.”

My stomach jumped with sadness, but I didn’t ask anymore. We lay there for a couple of moments, him on top of me, our naked bodies pressed together but not sexual in any way. It was heavenly. “Sebastian?”

“Yeah, Tori?” His voice sounded deep with emotion.

I realized that I didn’t know much about him or his childhood. Surprisingly, that didn’t bother me at all. He was there now and I was in love with him. As long as he was there for me and Antonio, I didn’t care what his past held. If he wanted to tell me then I would listen but I wouldn’t ask questions before then.

“I…we don’t know much about each other’s childhood and stuff so if you ever want to talk, I’m here. I just wanted you to know that,” I said in one breath, not sure how he would react.

His breath caught. “You…you want to hear about my childhood?”

I turned my head. “Of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

Sebastian’s dark eyes filled with adoration. “I love you.”

I smiled. “I love you. I meant what I said though. I know you’re not big on talking.” I poked him in the side, making him jump. “But I would really like to know…more. About you.”

Sebastian cleared his throat and kissed my shoulder. “I never met my parents.”

I bit back a gasp. I wasn’t expecting him to actually open up. My heart fluttered at the fact that he was finally talking to me. “I never met my dad.”

“You don’t need to when you have a mom like yours. I now know where you get your feistiness from.”

I laughed. “Yeah. We’ve had our issues but we’re working on it.”

“I’m glad.” Sebastian rolled off of me and rubbed small circles over my back.

“What happened to your parents?”

“From what I was told, they both died. From what, I have no idea. All I know is that I was left on the street by someone,” he said.

I gasped and turned to him. “You were on the street? How old were you?”

“Yeah…well, Jose took me in when I was ten so before that.”

“So Jose raised you.”

His dark gaze met mine questioning how I knew that.

“Garrith told me. When I was in the hospital after we both got shot.”

He nodded. “Yeah, if you can call it that.”

My heart broke at what I was hearing.

“Baby, it’s fine. I’m fine now. Don’t cry…” he kissed me softly and rubbed his thumbs over my cheeks.

I didn’t even realize that I was crying. I wiped under my eyes. “Sorry.”

He smiled. “Don’t apologize. You’re empathetic and I love that about you. Don’t change.”

My heart swelled. “I just…you were just a baby. I could never imagine leaving Antonio out on the streets for some random person to find. You’re lucky you survived.”

Sebastian took a deep breath. “Yeah, I know. That’s the only thing I’m grateful to Jose over. If he wouldn’t have taken me in, who knows where I would have ended up.”

“I’m so sorry that happened to you. No wonder you have issues opening up, and the fact that you’re a guy doesn’t help either,” I teased, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere.

He lightly chuckled and rose to his knees. “Thank you.”

I looked up at him. “For what?”

“For getting me to open up.” He trailed kisses down to my shoulder blades and I gasped when he bit me, liquid heat pooling in between my legs. “You are the most beautiful person I know, Tori. Inside and out. I could wake up to you every day.”

My stomach jumped at his words but I didn’t respond. Not knowing where he was going with this, but I hoped he would say what I wanted him to say.

He slowly moved down the bed, kissing my back, licking, nipping and sucking my skin, sending my heart into overdrive. “I love your body.”

I stretched my arms out above my head and sighed with bliss.

“The way your back dips into a luscious ass.”

I looked back at him and watched him smooth circles over my tailbone with his finger.

“I could dive into you and stay there forever. Wrapping you around me and fucking you wild until we were both panting for more.” His gaze met mine, dark and heated with lust and...love. He pulled the blanket down, cool air coating my naked body. He ran a finger down from my tailbone and stopped just above my ass.

I looked at him, silently begging him to go lower when my words from last night rained in my mind. “Sebastian.”

“Do you still want me to stay?” he asked, hesitating in his movements.

“Yes, more than anything.”

“Good. Then I’m not going anywhere, baby.”

“Really?” I asked on a breath.

“Yes, really. I’m so fucking sorry for everything that I have put you through. I know I can’t expect you to believe me but I pray that you do. I realized at first that loving you, scared the shit out of me. I didn’t love anyone. Not even myself and then I met you. You helped me change into a better person.” His confession shocked me.

“Sebastian, loving you scared me too. I hardly knew you but then I fell in love with you anyway. When I thought you had died, I found out I was pregnant…” I turned to him, lying on my side. “Antonio is my miracle baby. Our miracle baby.” I placed my palm on his cheek.

He kissed my hand, his eyes turning glossy.

Big bad Sebastian getting emotional on me. It broke my heart.

“As soon as I found out that you had my son, I wanted to come back to you. I didn’t even know you were pregnant until after you had given birth.”

“Who told you?”

“Garrith told me first. It was his idea to bring me back to you. I could have laid low but something told me that Jose was lurking and I didn’t want to bring him directly to you.” Sebastian frowned. “Looks like that happened anyway.”

“Hey, he was bound to find me eventually. You can’t control him,” I said, ignoring the fact that Jose had been in my son’s room.

Sebastian’s jaw clenched and unclenched. “I’ll get Jose for you. For the shit he put you through and me…God, the childhood I had because of him.”

“That’s not your fault.”

He sighed.

“How long have you and Garrith known each other?” I asked, assuming he wanted to get off the subject of Jose.

“I got thrown in jail a couple of years ago for smuggling drugs. Garrith approached me, asking if I wanted to work with the FBI to bring Jose down. I jumped at the shot to take the fucker out since I couldn’t do it myself. He may be slimy, but he’s fucking smart.” Sebastian ran a hand over his shaved head and sighed.

I thought a moment over everything he had said, still surprised that he actually opened up to me. Not really knowing what to say or how to comment, I just said the first thing that popped into my head. “Thank you for talking to me.”

He smiled lightly. “You’re the first woman who ever got me to talk, so thank you.”

Lying there with him felt normal. Familiar. I could do it every day for the rest of our lives. I stretched my arms out underneath my pillow and sighed.

“I love you, baby.”

My stomach flipped at his words. “I love you, Sebastian.”

He slid closer to me and kissed my shoulder, letting his soft lips linger on my pale skin. “I love you so fucking much.” Running his fingers lightly down my back, his dark eyes bored into mine, watching me. He dipped his finger lower and before I had a chance to respond, he thrust his fingers into my waiting heat, making me whimper.

“Oh God.” My skin bloomed with anticipation as he teased me, slowly thrusting his fingers in and out of me.

He removed his fingers, trailing them over my tailbone again.

“Sebastian,” I begged, pleading for him to continue. My body burned for him.

“I love how you arch like a cat...” He traced a finger from my nape all the way down my spine, sending ripples of shivers through my body. “Your body is so responsive to me.”

His words...erotic and deep were melting my insides. I could listen to him speak for hours, loving when he told me what he was doing. “I also love how you like a little pain with your pleasure.”

I gasped and then moaned when he lightly bit my shoulder. “Please.”

“Just lay back and enjoy baby.”

“But...I want to touch you.” I wanted to feel his hard velvety skin in my hands, against my body. In my mouth.

He shook his head. “This is all about you.” Running a hand down the length of my body, he rose to his knees and kissed my tail bone.

“Why?” I breathed.

“Because I’m apologizing.”

Oh...instead of telling me he was sorry, he was going to show me...my pussy clenched. Oh God.

He spread my legs, kissed my tailbone and then ran his velvety tongue along the sensitive skin under my ass cheeks.

My heart swelled and I whimpered at the ticklish feeling. “Sebastian...”

“Shhh...just enjoy, baby. We can talk more after.”

I nodded. Forever...he wanted to be with me for the rest of our lives. Antonio and I had him back.

My thoughts were interrupted when a light swat landed on my ass making me squeak. “Stop thinking so much.”

My skin tingled in anticipation for him, waiting for his next move.

He rose to his knees and towered over me, kissing my shoulder. “Do you want it fast and hard or slow and...” He licked my ear sending shivers down my spine. “...sensual.”