Ambition and Alavidha (41 page)

She lay there,
there was no point getting up and stared at the empty rundle bed in
the corner. This was the bed the cadet Lind slept on, this was the
bed her Lind should be lying on but he wasn’t, wouldn’t ever be.
She would just have to accept it. She would never become
vadeln-paired. She would remain here, thinking about what might
have been when the last Ryzcks left.

For a few days
more the rearguard would remain, keeping the border closed,
allowing the last wagons to reach the rendezvous then they too
would slip away. She imagined herself standing forlornly on the
Stronghold ramparts watching them run away, never to return,

That entire day
Tara remained in her cubicle. She listened to the Senior Cadets
upstairs clattering about as they got ready to leave. She tried not
to listen to their excited voices. There was a last flurry of noise
above her and then silence.

Tara was alone
in the barracks. She didn’t mind. She didn’t care.

Nothing
mattered any more.

* * * * *

It was
mid-afternoon when Davad found her.

His grey haired
head peeped in. Tara knew who he was. He had been one of the Vada
weapons instructors once, before he had retired.

His blue old
brown eyes were compassionate as he spied her lying in her
misery.

“Well,” he
said, swinging open the door and entering, “Tara Josensdochter
isn’t it? Sister of Thalia and Hal?”

Tara
gulped.

Davad said
nothing, he was watching.

At last Tara
raised her face to look at his.

“I don’t know
what to do,” she whispered.

“I understand,”
he said in as a gentle a voice as he could manage, how is
ex-students would have marvelled, “that’s why I’m here.”

“You are?”

“I’m here to
help.”

“No-one can
help. It’s all over.”

“Don’t say that
young one, nothing is over until it’s over, do you hear? You’ve
still got your health don’t you? You’ve got brains. There’s still a
lot you can do with your life.”

“I wanted to be
like Thalia,” she gulped.

He sat down on
the foot of the bed.

“I shall tell
you a story,” he said, “lie back and listen. I was very like you
are, once. I came here to the Stronghold when I was about twelve,
desperate to life-bond with a Lind and to join the Vada.”

“You did?”
Despite herself, Tara was getting interested.

“Jumped ship as
a matter of fact. Was a cabin boy on the old
Malinon
, she
were a trade lugger that plied her trade between Port Wylie and
here. I’d always been fascinated by stories about the Lind so I
jumped. I hid around the town for a while picking up odd jobs here
and there. One day I met a man, Weaponsmaster Alkin’s predecessor
he was. Don’t know why, maybe he felt sorry for me or maybe it was
something else but he took me back with him here to the Stronghold
and set me to work in the salle, keeping it tidy, cleaning weapons
and the like. Even made me attend lessons, I never had much
lessoning before I got here. He taught me how to use the weapons I
was looking after and told me I showed promise. Told me that if I
worked hard over the years I could become very good. So I worked
hard. I always hoped a Lind might find me suitable so that I could
become a cadet but it never happened. I was upset at the time but I
got over it. So will you.”

Tara had her
doubts about that.

“I got very
good and in my early twenties I joined the weapons staff here as an
instructor. I trained cadets, the militia and others and kept on
doing it. It’s been a long and happy life. I met a girl, got
married and had children. I’m a grandfather now, eleven times
over.”

Tara was
sitting up, her eyes fixed on Davad. She had stopped crying.

“Where are your
family now?” she asked.

“Here, every
blinking one of them. They have farms all around here, none of them
ever did take to weaponry.”

“They didn’t go
with the rest.”

“Why should
they? Their homes are here, that won’t change. No Lind has even
sniffed around any of them looking for a potential life-mate.
Empathic we are not.”

“But didn’t you
want to go?”

“My family are
here.”

Davad got to
his feet.

“Now young
lady, no point lying here wallowing in self pity. You have to keep
busy. Tell you what, you go get a wash and a clean up. I’ll wait
for you. Then we can go down to the salle and I’ll give you a
lesson in swordsmanship. You never know, you might be a natural.
Your brother Hal was good.”

“Not
Thalia?”

“Average,” he
replied, “but good enough. She wasn’t a natural, had to work at
it.”

“I’m probably a
dunce,” Tara said but she was a mite cheered at the prospect of a
lesson in using a sword. “I’ve never held a sword in my life.”

“You’ll not
know until you try,” he said, “now be quick, I haven’t got all
day.”

Tara realised
he expected her to follow and right quickly. His last words had had
more than a hint of command in them so she got up and hurried to
the ablutions annex. A quick splash and she felt a lot better.
Towel wrapped round her body she scudded back to her cubicle and
began to dress. The only clean clothes she had were the ones from
the stores, cadet uniforms, a bit worn round the edges but they’d
have to do. She put them on and slipped her feet into the boots,
also of Vada make and rushed outside.

Davad nodded
but said nothing. He began to walk as if he expected her to follow.
Tara did, trying to match her step with his but not succeeding. She
took three steps for his every two.

When they
reached the salle and stepped inside Tara stopped and looked
around. So this was where Thalia had learnt how to use the sword
she carried. Thalia had said in her infrequent letters that on wet
winter days sword lessons were taken indoors, un-mounted weapons
practice she had called it.

“We’ll being
with the simple moves,” announced Davad, handing her a wooden
practice sword. He had a similar one but it was older, well worn,
it’s grip dark with age. “I’ll demonstrate and you try to copy
me.”

The next bell
had Tara wondering what she had let herself in for. This was more
than hard, it was
hard
. Her sword arm grew tired and her
wrist became like sap oozing out of an allst tree. Her back began
to hurt and her legs? The jelly feeling was indescribable.

At last Davad
called a halt

“That’s enough
for the first day,” he said and directed her to the area where she
was to rack her sword. “Always put your weapon away,” he
instructed.

Obediently she
did as he ordered.

She got a
surprise when he said, “same bell tomorrow. You did well for a
first attempt.”

He nodded and
left, the salle door swinging shut behind him.

* * * * *

Tara spent the
next bell exploring the salle. Davad hadn’t said she couldn’t after
all. She began to feel sad again. The weapons practice had been
sore but fun but such bells couldn’t, wouldn’t last forever. Soon
she would have to go home and her time here at the Stronghold would
become a fading memory.

* * * * *

It was sunset
when a panting Kolyei arrived at the outskirts of the township of
Vada.

Now, where is
she?

The emotive
emissions were less strong than the day before but they were still
there. Using his innate ability Kolyei opened his mind and let
their thread lead him to her.

* * * * *

Tara was eating
a meal with Davad in the
Lazy Lind
. He had realised that
eating in the almost deserted cookhouse in the Stronghold would be
bound to upset her so he had invited her to dine with him.

“It’s a great
eating house,” he had described it.

“I’m not that
hungry,” Tara had said but he had insisted.

“Not good not
to eat. Come.”

So Tara
had.

Now she was
sitting in a comfortable chair in front of a scarred but well
polished table, eating a slice of spicy kura roast with roots and
salad. There would be greenfruit and cream to follow she knew. She
had heard Davad had ordered it.

She was
surprised at herself for actually being hungry and eating but
supposed that her exertions in the salle had whetted her
appetite.

She was
drinking her gingrootbeer when she felt the jolt.

She stopped
drinking and looked around, not understanding.

She felt the
jolt in her mind again and she snuck a look at Davad. He was
talking to the chef and it was obvious they had a lot to talk
about. Neither man was paying any attention to Tara.

It’s as if
my mind is expanding!
She was staring at her plate. All of a
sudden she no longer felt in the least bit like eating any
more.

* * * * *

Kolyei
sauntered in the direction of the
Lazy Lind
. The streets
were emptier that when he had been here before but he had expected
that. The last, long wagon train had gone. The few people he did
meet greeted him with a quiet courtesy mixed with sadness. There
were so few Lind left and very soon there would be none.

Eight hundred
and six years the Vada had lived here.

Even the
children Kolyei met were quiet.

He padded
through the streets, following the emotive beckoning. He knew he
was close.

He stopped at
last and looked up at the sign which read the
Lazy Lind
.
Kolyei could not read but he new the building for what it was when
he sniffed at the air. He smelt the stale beer-spills, his nostrils
wrinkled then his tail began wagging as he recognised the aroma of
well cooked food.

Now he began to
push the awareness of his inner self out, a chela length at a time.
There was no point scaring her out of her skin. His awareness
entered through the door and began to range round the room as he
sought the mind contact.

There, there it
was. He homed in on Tara and latched on.

* * * * *

Tara felt his
mind enter hers. Her eyes opened so wide that Davad later said he
thought they would pop out of their sockets.

: Tara :
‘said’ the awareness and Tara knew in that instant that nothing
would ever be the same again.

“Tara?” queried
Davad with concern, “what’s wrong?”

She didn’t
answer, she couldn’t, the words refused to form.

: Tara :
Kolyei telepathed
: come with me :

In a daze Tara
pushed her body up until she was standing.

“I have to go,”
she told Davad, “you understand, don’t you?”

Davad did. He
may not have experienced a vadeln-pairing personally but he knew
this dazed look of old. He had after all spent the best years of
his life amongst vadeln.

“He is
outside?” he whispered.

Tara’s face
broke into a smile of pure, undiluted joy. He described it later
like it was as if the sun had come out after a month behind
clouds.

“Go to him Tara
and Lai bless you,” he said. “Take him back to your cubicle. I’ll
let Susa Malkum know. It’s a pity, for me, I’d have liked to have
kept you on as a pupil. We of Vadath will have great need of good
warriors in the years ahead of us but go. What is his name?”

Tara thought
about that. Helpfully, Kolyei supplied the information.

“Kolyei,” she
answered, “his name is Kolyei.”

Davad half led
her towards the door, she was unsteady on her feet; he opened it
and pushed her with gentle hands outside.

* * * * *

And so it was
that to Davad Talanson went the honour of being present as the last
ever vadeln-pairing was accomplished.

Tears came to
his eyes as he watched Tara put her arms round Kolyei. He kept
watching as the two of them, Tara holding on to Kolyei’s neck ruff
as if she would never let it go, turned and began walking away.

Tara would not
be staying in Vadath. She would leave with the last.

No more
tears.

He was full to
the brim with satisfaction as he closed the door and asked for his
bill.

Davad Talanson
felt so special and privileged in that moment that someone could
have told him he was a hundred feet tall and he would have believed
it.

* * * * *

-61-

THE STRONGHOLD
OF THE VADA - VADATH

Tara sat at the
desk in her cubicle sucking the end of her pen.

What should she
say? What could she say? How did a daughter explain to her parents
that she wouldn’t be coming home, not ever? How did she say that
she wouldn’t even be living on the same planet as they were?

“Don’t belabour
the issue,” Davad had advised when she had asked his advice. “Stick
to the facts and write them down. You
can
write, can’t
you?”

“Yes I can
write,” she had answered, “but saying what I want to say is so
horribly difficult.”

“Keep it
simple, tell them you’ll always love them and leave it there.
They’ll hear all about it all soon enough.”

Tara sighed,
dipped her nib into the inkwell and began.

‘
Dearest
Father and Mother’,
she wrote
, ‘when you get this I will be
gone. Sorry I didn’t say goodbye when I left but when you get this
I hope you’ll understand. I had to go. It’s not that I don’t love
you both, I do. I will miss you, I promise and I’ll not let Thalia
and Hal forget you either. It’s not that I didn’t want the life
you’d planned for me, it was just. Well, it wasn’t enough.