Amelia's story (2 page)

Her
parents could no longer control thei
r own daughter, and so
G
randad Thomas would knock her from one end of the kitchen to the other
, and still she would smile
, finding it
all
hilarious. He did not beat her often
;
however
,
when she was totally out of control he would hit her about the house. They reached the point of sheer frustration with my mother and eventually were happy to relinquish all responsibility and pass her on to Christopher, my father.
However, Christopher’s parents had knowledge of Heidi’s previous stint in the psychiatric ward due to some investigations carried out when their own concerns about Heidi were raised.
G
randma and
G
randad George, Christopher’s parent
s
, paid a visit to the local doctors
,
and behind closed doors they asked my mother’s physician for some insight into what
was
wrong with her.

They stated that their son was about to marry Heidi
,
and that they knew something was not right
—
the public outbursts
,
uncontrollable temper
,
unreasonable behavio
u
r
,
and unwarranted hate. The physician
,
of course
,
was not at liberty to discuss patient information
,
but he advised Christopher’s parents to tell their son that when it gets difficult
he should just run the other way and don’t look back. Of course
,
this is not a response that would be giv
en today;
this was a small community village
where everyone knew each other and
they were all friends. Family situations were handled so very differently back then.
Marital consent was refused by Christopher’s parents, so a long engagement
ensued
, during which time holes started to appear in their relationship
and arguments became a daily occurrence. My mother
’
s public outbursts became an embarrassment
,
and my father could not control when these would occur, as they were not
goaded in anyway whatsoever.

They
could be walking down a street
, and for no apparent reason my
mother would start screaming and shouti
ng, occasionally even lashing out.
Father was no longer keen to marry Heidi and called off the engagement, but
he
had no idea that she was with child (me
). However, M
other knew what
she wanted and how to ensure she had her wish,
my father’s hand in marriage.
Mother made the trip from Hull to Beverly to request a meeting with the base padre
,
Rev. Hemmingway, at R.A.F. Leaconsfield, to announce the pregnancy and explain how she had felt that
my
father had jilted her. What happened following this meeting cou
ld not be comprehended in 2012—
the church, armed forces
,
and
my
mother all came together to collude in what was to be a forced marriage. This meeting took place without my father’s knowledge
,
and
at that
point he had no idea that my mother was pregnant.
Very soon following this meeting, my father was called to HQ for an urgent meeting with his CO. He was puzzled, anxious
,
and wondered what could be so serious that warranted an urgent meeting at base. On his arrival, my father was directed to the general office and ordered to wait outside until he was called. As he stood waiting by the door, my father began to feel more and more
anxious
.

Suddenly, the office door opened
,
and he was called in by his CO. Father straightened his uniform and walked in. What he
saw
before hi
m made him freeze with nerves—
Rev. Hemmingway and Heidi. He wondered what could have been so important that required
t
he
reverend
and mother to be present, and a little part of him knew that it was
my
mother who
had instigated this situation, but he had no idea why.
Father was infor
med in no uncertain terms that M
other was pregnant with his child. At that exact moment, he felt their eyes piercing through him
, as my mother
stood there with tears rolling dow
n her face,
the perfec
t picture of a wronged woman, and
the padre patted her on the back with a consoling hand. His CO and Rev. Hemmingway continued to stare
at
my father coldly, whose facial expr
ession showed a scared twenty-year-old man
caught in a trap.
Father was offered a few choices as his misdemeanors
were laid out before him. H
e was going to be charged on several accounts of con
travening camp standing orders,
for being away from his station without permission, for not assisting wi
th chores . . .
the list of fantasy petty charges spill
ed
out before him. Last but not least
, Rev. Hemmingway mentioned
t
hat deserting his fiancée while
pregnant was not good for anyone.
The CO went on to explain the choices my father had:
1.
Choose to
ignore your responsibilities—
then you will face all charges as mentioned earlier.
2.
If you do the right thi
ng by proceeding to marry Heidi
and accept your responsibilities, then no such charges will be brought against you.
Entrapment work
ed.
A
s a young
twenty-year-old
man, passionate about his career in the R.A.F,
he
did the only thing he could do and agreed to marry
my
mother. Following his decision
,
all charges were dropped. Hard to believe such a thing could happen, but back then this was common and not unheard of at all. Reluctantly
,
both sets of parents signed the relevant documents to allow them to marry.

My
mother
and father had a very small wedding, and
they were married by none other than Rev. Hemmingway
. There
were only
a small number of people
in attendance.
Everyone knew t
his was not the pairing of those
two souls who had once wanted to be together, so the whole affair was kept minimal.
Everyone wore forced smiles
on
their
faces for the group photos
,
and then
moved on to the small reception that took place in a pub
overlooking
the square.
My parents
went on a two-week honeymoon to Scotland
,
where they spent some time in a cozy cottage
overlooking
the sea. My father soon had to return to base with his new assignment in the cable bay, where he worked as a wireman
to make up wire looms for aircraft modification. Mother was growing daily, and so were her unpredictable moods (more so than usual), which father
attributed
to pregnancy hormones. This went on until the night I was
born, a cold wintry night on
December
14
. No sooner was I in this world
did Father
head off to the local pub for a few drinks. Mother remained in hospital for a couple of days.
Within
a short period of time, Mother and F
ather were given an R.A.F. house on base as a permanent residence, which was a palace compared to the bed
-
sit they were origina
lly in. It was a spacious three-
bedroom house, fitted with everything they would need
,
and this is where all three of us stayed until my br
other, Jake, was born eighteen months
later. My father was training to be an Aircraft Engineer, which served him in good stead much later on in his career as he went on to secure a position working directly for the
Sultan of Brunei
as
Chief E
ngin
eer for his many private planes
.

However,
my mother was getting itchy feet
,
and
she
started going out more and more to social clubs with her friend
,
wh
ile
my father was away on assignments. On one such occasion
,
she
’d
met a man
,
Robert Thomas, with whom she began an affair. When my father was posted away, she would use th
at
time to build her relationship with Robert. One day after being away with the R.A.F. for a few weeks, my father returned home earlier than expected to find my mother and Robert naked in bed
.
I do not know where Jake and I were at this time
,
but thankfully
we were
not anywhere in the vicinity.

My father
flew into a violent rage and beat the
living daylights out of Robert and
then turned on my mother and gave her a beating
also
. He was arrested but not formerly charged with assault. This was to finalize the end of a doomed relationship. Luckily for my father, this
would not
affect his career as a promising young
A
ircraft
E
ngineer. He was not at all interested in Jake and I, or what might happen to us, as long
as he was as far away from my mother
as possible.
Father never had the time or the peace
of mind to form a bond with his two children, so missing us was not a worry for him. Our father could not have been happier for his eventual escape to his new life; this was what he had been dreaming about. He never looked back, not once.
As f
or my mother, her affair
change
d
all our lives
forever
. Mother moved in with Robert almost immediately,
and
things were once again
tough. We
were all living in a cramp
ed
little bed
-
sit
,
wi
th virtually no money and a bad-tempered mother. Robert and M
other eventually married
,
and Robert decided he wanted to adopt us with a little help in the decision from our mother. The adoption took place a couple of years later. This was met with no resistance at all from my father, who was more than happy to sign the relevant documents and han
d over complete responsibility
so he could continue the rest of his life. He fel
t he had no bond with Jake or I,
and
he
did not want to f
ight for his right as a father,
something he made abundantly clear, much to the disgust of his parents who tried everything to persuade him not to sign the papers.
My
g
randparents had pleaded with my fat
her not to sign his rights away.
G
randma George was on her knees, crying and pleading to our father, but it was to no avail. This was to be the end of my father’s presence in o
ur lives for over three decades.
T
his was something I have since disco
vered broke my grandma’s heart,
and
she never really forgave my father for doing what he did. There was a bridge leading into the village where my
g
randparents lived, and they both lived in hope that one day, when we were old enough, Jake and I would walk over it together to see them once again.
My
g
randparents said their goodbyes
,
knowing my mother would never allow them to visit
us
ever again. She had lied to everyone
,
and led my father’s family to believe she and Robert were immigrating to Swi
tzerland with both Jake and I—
a terrible deceit by anyone’s standards. To keep children away from their
g
randparen
ts is unthinkable;
they were good people who often took care of us
and had a lot of love to give,
a
s if we were their own children.
Jake and I were their first
g
randchildren and stayed with
G
randma and
G
randad George for ove
r a month during a period when Mother and F
ather were trying to reconcile their differences
.
The bond our
g
randparents had with Jake and I was very strong.