Amplify (2 page)
Authors: Anne Mercier
T
o my mom for teaching me about the love of music.
From the nights when we were little and listened to the Bee Gees and Tom Jones to road trips with the 50s and 60s oldies. I remember vinyl records, 8-tracks, and cassette tapes of artists ranging from Elvis and Alabama to Olivia Newton-John, Rod Stewart, and Elton John. I remember doing aerobics to fun music and our "cleaning Saturdays" with whatever music fit the bill for that day roaring from the stereo speakers.
Mom, you helped shape my love of such a diverse range of music and for that I will always be grateful.
Chapter Nineteen-Lucy/Jesse/Lucy
2015 Publishing & Travel Schedule
A Very Xander Christmas (Rockstar #2.5)
Wherever You Will Go – Stephanie Smith
Never Let Me Go – Jessica Gibson
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Rockstar Character Chart
era
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U
ndone by Hailey Reinhart
Safe and Sound by Julia Sheer
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I
’M SINGING ALONG
to the radio with Lucy, happy and laughing, as we head back from vacation with her family when we pull up to the gates at my house. Now, as a ten-year-old girl, I normally wouldn’t admit this, but I missed my mom and dad. They are my best friends and the fact that they spoil me might be why.
I’m excited to see them. It’s been ten days. We had a great time in Florida at Disney World and Epcot and all that. The teacup ride made me sick, though. Joey, Lucy’s brother and my annoying cousin, made fun of me for the rest of the day until Lucy socked him one when her parents weren’t looking.
I had the most fun when we made our way down to Miami and stayed with Grandpa Giovanni. We swam and ate and played until we couldn’t anymore. I was almost sad to go. Almost.
I run up to the front door while Uncle Anthony and Aunt Regina are still getting out of the car. I throw the door open and run inside.
"Mama! Daddy!" I run to the great room where they usually are and it’s empty. Hmm. I pout a minute. Maybe they’re out on the terrace working today. They do that sometimes.
"Mommy?" I call out.
I open the side doors and notice papers on the ground. I frown. That’s not like them at all. They never make a mess with their work and important papers. I look at the table and see the half-full glass of iced tea, the ice barely melted. They must be out here somewhere. My heart kicks up in happiness and anticipation. I can’t wait to hug my mommy.
I walk out further.
"Mama! Daddy!" I call out once more. I step down the stairs and walk toward the pool. They’re not swimming, but I see mommy’s shoe lying on the walkway beside the pool. Maybe they’re changing for a swim. Eww, maybe they’re doing
it
.
I call out louder for them and see my mommy’s other shoe. I head toward the pool house and knock on the door, just in case they
are
doing it. Gross.
"Mommy? Daddy?" I slowly turn the knob and push the door open.
I step inside and I can’t process what I’m seeing. Mommy and daddy and so much blood. So much blood.
"Mommy!" I run over to her and I see the hole in her forehead with a stream of blood running down the side of her face and more gushing out of her throat.
Who would hurt my mommy? Why would they do this?
Someone’s screaming and later on I’ll learn it’s me.
I turn to my daddy who has matching wounds.
I burst into sobs. They’re lying side by side, their hands joined.
"No! No, no, no!" I cry, holding their joined hands, kneeling in a pool of their blood—thick, rich, and still warm. I hold their hands to my chest and rock back and forth, sobbing. When I can’t hold myself up, I fall and curl up between them.
I don’t know how long I’m there, but by the time Anthony and Regina find me, I’m covered in blood as I hold their hands, resting my head on my mommy’s chest.
"Mommy, mommy, mommy," I cry. I want my mommy.
I see Uncle Anthony out of the corner of my eye telling Aunt Regina something I can’t hear. I can’t stop calling for my mommy, hoping this is all a bad dream and I’ll wake up and she’ll be laughing her bubbly laugh while she and daddy joke on the terrace while they work.
"Sera, bella, you must come with me now," Uncle Anthony tells me.
I can’t respond. I just keep calling for mommy and daddy when Anthony picks me up, murmuring softly as I reach out for mommy one last time.
There are a lot of people here now, men in uniforms. They’re too late. We’re all too late. Maybe if I hadn’t been gone, this wouldn’t have happened. I wasn’t here for mommy and daddy when they needed me. I could have hidden and dialed 911 like they taught me to.
I’m so sorry, mommy and daddy. I should have been here. I could have saved you from the bad people. I’m sorry.
"I want my mommy," I tell Uncle Anthony through my sobs.
"I know, baby girl. I know."
Those are the only words I speak for nearly three months: Mommy, daddy, or I want my mommy and daddy. Blood and bullet holes, throats sliced with rivers of blood are what I see in my dreams, my nightmares, in my daymares. Are there such things as daymares? Maybe I invented them.
"Mia bambina, don’t cry," mommy tells me in her lavender silky flowing gown like nothing I’ve ever seen her wear before.
"Mommy!" I cry out and she hugs me. My daddy hugs me from behind.
"Where did you go? Who hurt you, mommy?"
"My little one," daddy whispers, "your mommy and I are in heaven now but we are with you always."
"No! You’re not there. I want you and mommy to come back with me. I want to play games and watch movies. I want to hug you. I just want you with me," I sob.
"Oh God," mommy whispers as she cries and wipes my tears. "I know this is hard, but you need to be strong, Serafina. If we could come back, we would be there, you know this. But we can’t."
I shake my head in denial as tears flow down my cheeks.
"So stubborn," she says with a soft smile. "My baby, you are stronger than you know and you will have Uncle Anthony and Aunt Regina to take care of you now." She presses a finger to my lips when I try to interrupt. "I know it won’t be the same, Sera, but you must move forward. You must pull yourself out of this darkness and let them help you. You must live."
"I don’t want to, mommy. I want to stay with you and daddy."
"Little one, it can’t be done. If there was a way, I would be with you in a heartbeat. Since we can’t, you have to lean on those who can. You must live. You can grieve, but you must live as well. Can you do that for me, Serafina? Can you live?" daddy asks.
I tuck my chin to my chest. "I don’t know," I whisper.
"Can you try, little one?" daddy asks.
I look up into his brown eyes, so deep and dark like the richest chocolate, they shimmer with tears. Daddy never cries.
I know they need this from me but I don’t know if I can.
"I can try," I sob.
My daddy tightens his hold on me, hugging me tight, as my mommy smoothes down my hair.
"My heart hurts, daddy," I wail.
"I know, baby. I know. It will hurt less as time goes on."
I shake my head.
"It will. I promise you."
"Daddy!" I wail.
"Oh my baby girl, you’re going to be okay. You’re a Russo through-and-through. Nothing can keep Russos down for long."
"But, daddy, our name is Manzini."
He frowns and nods. "But you must embrace the Russo side of you and be strong. Do good. Be all I know you can be, Serafina."
I frown as I cry. "I’ll try."
He wipes my tears and smiles a shaky smile. "That is all I can ask."
"We’ll be here for you, Serafina. In your dreams. Guiding you when you need us most," mommy tells me as she kisses my hair. "I love you, Serafina. Be strong and remember. Accept what’s in your heart and trust it. Your heart will never betray you."
"We will make sure of it," daddy promises.
I sniffle and nod. "I love you mommy. I love you daddy," I cry, wrapping an arm around my daddy’s neck and the other around mommy’s.
"I love you too, little one. We both do," he whispers and they shimmer away.
I sit up in the bed gasping and sobbing. Cage lifts me into his lap, wraps his arms around me, and rocks me gently. I cling to him.
"It’s okay, Fee. It’s okay."
I just cry.
"It’ll all be okay. I’ll make sure it’s okay," he promises, kissing my cheek and stroking my hair as I sob.
"I don’t know what I’d do without you," I whisper between sniffles.
I feel his smile against my cheek. "Then isn’t it a good thing you’ll never have to find out," he tells me, and I know he means it.
He pulls back to meet my gaze and wipes my tears with his thumbs. "Okay?"
I shrug a shoulder. "As good as it gets."
"That’s pretty great if you ask me." He winks.
I snort and he smirks. I lift a hand to his cheek.
"Thank you."
He nods. "Anything for you, Fee. You know this." I smile inside at the nickname he only uses in private.
I nod and reach for a tissue. "Stay with me?"
He smiles. "I’m not going anywhere."
He sets me on the bed and slides in next to me. He pulls me on top of him, my head resting on his chest as he rubs his hand up and down my back, the other holding one of mine.
"I don’t know how you can sleep like this. I’m not exactly a lightweight."
He snorts and I smile. He’s been doing that more and more lately and I like the sound.
"Fee, I bench press more than you weigh. Besides, I like the feel of you wrapped around me," his voice dips.
Cage Nichols is built. Muscles hard and defined. He’s disciplined and works out daily. He’s so sexy and I get that damn fluttering sensation in my stomach.
I look up and meet his gaze, then my eyes slide down to his lips. I don’t bother resisting the urge. I just lean in and kiss him, just a press of my lips to his, soft and gentle, lingering, which he returns.
When I pull back, one side of his mouth kicks up and I smirk back.
"Sleep, Fee. I’ve got you now," he tells me. I nod and settle back in, his chin resting on top of my head, his left hand holding my right, our fingers interwoven, my other hand resting beneath my head.
"I feel safe with you, Cage. I don’t feel safe anywhere else but with you," I confess sleepily.
He kisses the top of my head. "I won’t ever let anything happen to you."
I nod slightly. "I know."
"Good."
I let out a sigh and relax into his hold, into his warmth. For so many years I’ve been afraid. It’s a relief to be able to truly relax and breathe without the scent of fear flowing around me.
Cage runs a hand over my hair and down my back. "Just rest, Fee," he whispers. I close my eyes and let the peaceful warmth of Cage lull me to sleep.