An Angel's Ascent (14 page)

This had gotten out of control in such a short time. I was not this needy, emotional, and definitely not one who whimpers.

He held his arms out as I began to cry. I never cried. I was strong emotionally. I had to be to handle everyone else’s emotions, on top of mine. I did not want to be some whimpering, needy, broken creature. I had to be strong.

“
I know. I’m sorry, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. To be stuck with a creature as pitiful as me.” I felt his disgust at himself, his self-hatred. I was a broken creature, and he the pitiful one, what a pair… what a broken, pitiful pair.

“
It’s not you. I’m just, well, and I’m scared. We have no control in this, and that scares the hell out of me. I have to be in control of my life. I swore no man would ever touch me, unless I said so,” I moved closer to him, nonetheless. I only felt sane when I was touching him, clinging to him.

“
Why?”

Thinking for a bit, I finally realized why.

“
Everyone has left me from day one.” Ugh, abandonment issues, like he wanted to know that. I hid my face with shame in his arm. He only gently caressed my back sending shivers down my spine.

“
I’d never leave you. You can feel it too, it’s impossible. I have to say though, with all the women in the world I have met, I’m glad it’s you. There’s something in the way you are that makes me think. I’m happy it’s her.”

“
Part of me feels the same.” I replied looking up into his glowing eyes. His emotions told me he spoke the truth.

I could not believe this was real. It would not make sense in a book, much less real life.

The man I was falling madly for pulled me to the couch and into his lap. Like a child, I bawled into his chest. He held me tight and gently rocked me. Most men would begin sucking on various body parts, starting with your ear lobes but not Aries. He was nothing like them. He truly wanted to comfort me.

I got up when my stomach growled, and we went to the kitchen.

“
Hungry?” I asked.

I popped bagels in the toaster and rinsed some green grapes off and put them in a bowl. I grabbed two plates and set the table. Aries watched me quietly. The bagels popped up, just as he said sure why not.

“
I don’t usually eat. In fact, I don’t have to. It smells pretty good for once though,” he replied, looking thoughtfully at me. I guess he was assuming I was the cause of his new food cravings.

“
It must be all this crazy Emo stuff going on inside us...” I said, adding fat-free cream cheese to mine.

“
I think being around you is bad for my appetite,” he grinned, showing the tip of a fang, something I hadn’t noticed yet. Did I make them drop, my scent, or the scent of the food? And that’s when I realized his double meaning. I wasn’t sure how I felt about the fangs yet.

Aries was so beautiful that I wondered how it was fair. I was not vain in that sense, but it broke my heart to see him looking back at me knowing I was not his equal in this, and yet he still wanted me.

I was average compared to him. Yet waves of attraction and lust rolled off him, along with confusion, and could that possibly be love? Oh no, this couldn’t get any worse... but this was impossible. I had to be wrong. I’d made mistakes before. Emotions tended to overlap. There was a lot of gray area. Some were mixtures, so hard to think about. No Empath was perfect, if there were even others like me, and neither was I. Maybe I was mistaken.

It had been so long since I’d felt anyone love me that I felt raw and unsure. To love another, truly, this was odd now that I thought about it.

“
Are you going with me to the club?” he asked.

“
Sure. I don’t want to make the band mad by kidnapping you.” I told him looking at my food.

Aries smiled and finished his plate.

He washed the dishes to my utter amazement. He wouldn’t let me near the sink.

“
I got this, go dress,” he said, cutting time sure, but wow.

My jaw dropped. Who was this man? We didn't know each other, and he was taking care of me. If the feelings coming off him were true, I’d have to doubt my ability if they weren't, then I knew why he was doing this. He really loved me. It had to be this fate thing. No human could fall in love this quickly, could they? Even if I believed in love at first sight then in that case it would take days to even realize you were or even weeks. There’s no doubt I wanted this god-like creature, but love? Intense feelings yeah, but I wasn't sure about love. I had my heartbroken plenty. I wasn't going to open the door to love willingly, even with this magnificent man. I obviously couldn't fight it. He’d paused at my expression and was waiting for me to move, I guess.

I walked back into my room and put on another of my new outfits.

As I finished dressing, I thought about what I’d felt. You’d think with me being an empath I’d know love anywhere, surprisingly it was the one emotion most people had never really felt. Couples felt strong desires of lust and longing, and genuine happiness but never those of love, feelings of bliss. Humans walked around through life content that the person that they are with cares enough for them to be faithful and kind, and that was enough. Love was not even one emotion. It even differed with each person. Some felt really protective, some jealous, and some felt complete trust. Love was several layers.

Hence my theory why most couples fell apart, because it was not love, but something else altogether.

Not me that’s for sure as I’ve said many times so far. I was waiting for love, for a hero to claim me. Here, was a hero, well maybe, but if it wasn't love could I hold true to my self-sacrificing promises? Were these strong feelings going to make me break and screw him like there was no tomorrow? Would Aries loving me be enough to allow that?

These questions floated aimlessly through my mind. I think he was waiting for me to panic or go into shock. I mean, I’d just found out I may be some hero-goddess woman out to slay the bad guys and protect the good ones. Had a man who claimed that he was some twisted version of the mythic vampire, and I was fighting these undeniable spikes of longing, desire, attachment, and fear of abandonment. Hell, I think I may’ve been in shock to think of it that way. What mortal woman wouldn’t be? I had to be this foretold warrior, or I was just plain crazy, right? Ah, hell.

I sighed, which ended in a groan. Dressed, I wandered back to the kitchen and was shocked. Well, he was five hundred odd years old. He’d probably done everything, from cleaning, hard labor, to, well, rock star... My kitchen was absolutely spotless.

Did I want this? I had dreamed all my life that some great man would charge along on his white steed and save me from something, and make me have mind-blowing feelings. Well here he was , and I was questioning it. I guess that was what made me sane. I felt relief at that thought and closed my eyes briefly.

Aries eyes swept up and down me , and the powerful feelings of desire and lust blasting me, causing me to look up at him. Guess I looked good in this outfit. Gay guy was right. It enhanced my sexy, hee hee.

My thoughts were twisted and perplexed. I needed several moments to comprehend it all, and I very seriously doubted I was going to get that, no matter how much I really wanted to. My life just went from busy and fulfilling, to chaotic and confounding, in a space of twelve hours or so.

Aries noticed the distraught look on my face and gently pulled me to him. Normally, I wasn’t this touchy feely with people, and would sucker punch anyone who got this close.

Just then there was an adamant knock on my door. I couldn't immediately think of whom it could be; no one ever knocked on my door. I gave a particularly menacing growl and rolled my eyes. Aries chuckled as I stomped to my door. The feelings from the other side were conflicted. Okay, now I really was stupefied.

“
Who is it?” I snapped a little too harshly. I was instantly contrite when I heard his voice. Ah, shit. I was always letting my temper and sudden impulsions rule my actions, leaving me in sticky situations such as this. I really needed to control it, before I did something really idiotic.

“
Michael.” Oh, damn, among other cuss words that flitted through my head.

CHAPTER EIGHT

I slowly cracked open my door, thanking myself for putting the couch out of sight when I last rearranged the living room. I knew Michael couldn’t see Aries from there.

I slipped into the tiny L shaped hall.

“
Hey.”

He looked at me funny and noticed the darkening circles under my eyes, the paleness of my face, and the way I held myself. It was like I was keeping myself in one piece with my arms wrapped around my middle. I knew he noticed the outfit , but his eyes only saw my distress. He was such a good friend, even if I found him sort of annoying at times.

“
It’s almost eight. You don’t look so good... I didn’t know what to think when Frank said you had left...” He stuttered. He had not believed me at first. Yep there it was the disbelief. I stopped being offended at others more than human responses when I was still a teenager.

There were times Michael reminded me of a little boy. I had to find an excuse even if I hated doing so, but maybe if he saw Aries he would get the point and finally move on. How to do this, without hurting him too badly though...

“
Well, I was speaking to Frank and started feeling dizzy and not myself, Aries came over to say something to Frank when I almost hit the floor. He caught me and Frank told him to walk me home. He said I didn't need to walk alone. I really didn't want to ruin your night Michael, so I agreed. I’m not much of a friend by not coming and telling you myself. Frank said he'd handle it.”

“
Oh. Yeah, he told me. So are you okay?”

“
I’m getting better , and I’m still going tonight. Would you like to come in for a minute?”

He nodded and followed me. I hoped this didn't back fire.

Aries must’ve known I was bringing him in because he stood up. He looked at me, Michael, and then held out his hand. He seemed unsure of what I wanted , and I felt spikes of jealousy and anger. Ah, hell… I could never get it right when it came to men.

Michael looked back and forth between us, skepticism clearly all over his face. Denial, anger, jealousy and intense feelings of betrayal hit me from him. I nearly buckled. How was it like this? Well, that’s certainly men for you.

“
Hi Michael, I’m Aries, band leader of the Undead Ones.” Aries thankfully remembered his manners, although it was clearly obvious who he was. Aries was also in the same outfit as before so it was clear he had not been home.

“
Hi. So he stayed over?” he asked looking at me accusingly after only glancing in Aries direction. He looked confused and more than a little upset. I couldn’t blame him, much. It was not any of his business though, when it came down to it. I was an adult.

“
Don't worry, I’ve been a total gentleman,” he said holding his hands up as if to ward something off. Aries must have sensed some of the things I was from him.

“
Michael, I’m going to be honest, I like Aries a lot, and I don't know where our friendship may end up, and it is just friendship at the moment. He travels and I own a business. You're a great friend Michael, you’ve been a lot of help to me and I don't want to lose you. I can see that you feel more... But you’re just a friend to me…” emphasizing friend, and then an idea hit me.

“
Raven likes you that way, and you haven't really seen it because all you can see is me. It’s not fair to any of us if I don’t tell you this. Go downstairs and invite Raven with you tonight, give her the chance you and she deserve. I’ll close the store and pay her for the night. I guarantee you that both of you will have some fun. She needs a really great guy like you. You two could make each other really happy. She’s a great friend of mine and a fantastic woman, and I know if you give her a chance you will see it too.” She was so going to love me.

Michael smiled at the part where I complimented him, men, but then it seemed realization hit him hard. He was barking up the wrong tree, as they say. Feelings of embarrassed pain, sorrow, and anger hit him, then humility, then dawned the intrigue and general amusement. Damn, the opposite sex had major emotional baggage. You could never tell it just from looking at them though, hard as stone. A little slow at times too it seemed.

“
Thank you Angel. I’m sorry I didn't see this before. Aries I’ll stomp your ass if you hurt her,” the last was said with a smile. Well, at least he was getting the bigger picture, like I said, good friend.

Michael was strong, an athlete but Aries I knew could handle him easily. Not that I’d say anything of course.

“
No worries there kid. I couldn't hurt her if I tried. She's a miraculous woman , and I feel lucky just to know her. I know you know what I mean.” Know, know, and know… wow I would have been tongue tied.

I walked my friend out, wondering what Aries was implying. He had met me roughly twenty-four hours ago and couldn't know much about me.

After showing Michael out I returned to Aries who was now standing at the window.

“
So you like me a lot?” he asked as he turned. Amusement glinted from his eyes and the half grin. Was that confidence I sensed? He was being egotistical again.

“
Without question, but I think it has to do with fate, if I love someone I want to be the judge of that. So far I think I’d have felt these things anyways, maybe this magical whatever knows we are right for each other and takes feelings we’d have had anyways and just started us out this strongly with them. I hope that’s the case. I don’t want to be in love with some maniac, insane, evil person.”