An Enormously English Monsoon Wedding (9 page)

The dim interior was illuminated by dozens of second-hand lamps, and crammed full with collectibles, curios, old furniture, even older paintings and just plain junk. Shelves and tables wobbled under pyramids of books and ornaments. It looked chaotic, but Erin and Doug knew exactly where everything was.

‘Hello, Erin.’ Gina, stunningly pretty in her late thirties, with a mass of brown curls, and dressed in white shorts to show off her endless tanned legs and a vividly coloured low-cut top, which made the most of her cleavage, gave a tentative smile. ‘Is Doug around?’

Sod it, Erin thought. She hated having to lie. ‘Er, um, well, he had this huge consignment in from the sale rooms this morning and –’

‘OK. Don’t bother.’ Gina sighed. ‘It’s all right. I just wondered, that’s all. Just tell him, when you see him, that I’m still short-staffed so I’ll be working in the pub this lunchtime as per usual. If he fancies a pint he’ll know where to find me.’

‘OK.’ Erin smiled gently. ‘I’ll tell him. But, Gina –’

The bell pinged again.

A hot and harassed-looking
couple with two bored teenagers in tow, both attached to mobile phones, looked startled in the open doorway.

‘Hello.’ Erin smiled. ‘Sorry if the bell made you jump. It’s in the doormat. We have to keep the door open on hot days otherwise we’d suffocate in here, and if we’re in the stockroom we wouldn’t know if anyone was in the shop and then –’

‘Erin,’ Gina, always the businesswoman, hissed. ‘They’re
customers
. They don’t need to know that stuff. Just serve them.’

Erin grinned and sailed straight into saleswoman mode. ‘Please come in and look around. If there’s anything particular you’re looking for, please ask.’

‘Better,’ Gina said approvingly, easing her long legs round a triangular table piled high with faded cloth-bound books. ‘Anyway, I’ll be off now. Just pass the message on to Doug – if you see him.’

Erin nodded, watching her make her way across the green towards the Merry Cobbler. Damn Doug! Stupid man!

As Gina disappeared, Erin carefully negotiated the crowded shop and beamed cheerfully at the newcomers. ‘Lovely day, isn’t it?’

The teenagers looked up from their texting and scowled at her.

‘Too bloody hot for traipsing round places like this,’ the man said. ‘Brenda here said she’d seen this shop advertised on the internet and thought it would be a good place to pick up some more crap. Bit of a magpie is Brenda. Picks up crap at car boots, jumble sales, junk shops like this – you name it, Brenda can find crap in it. Our house is bloody full of crap.’

Brenda smiled happily and said nothing.

The teenagers looked up, still texting, still scowling, and nodded their agreement.

‘OK.’ Erin took a
deep breath and looked hopefully at Brenda. ‘So, do you collect anything in particular?’

Quickly, clearly before her family could chorus ‘crap’, Brenda nodded. ‘At the moment I’m collecting Wade Whimsies miniatures. I had them as a child and they got thrown out when my mum had a blitz. I loved them so much. I can’t see any here, though.’

‘Oh, yes, Wade Whimsies – lovely. And we do have some, over here.’ Erin led the way through a maze of various small cupboards and three wing-backed chairs, round a glass case of moth-eaten stuffed owls that she never liked looking at because they looked so mournful, and pointed to a glass-fronted cabinet. ‘We’ve got quite a few of the original 1950s Disney editions in here. We’ve got nearly all the
Lady and the Tramp
characters and some from
Bambi
and –’

Brenda clasped her hands together and gave an ecstatic sigh. Her family groaned.

The doormat pinged again and Sophie, her short black hair standing up in excited spikes, jigged up and down on the doormat. It sounded like a really bad rendition of ‘Jingle Bells’. ‘Erin! Quick! Can you get away for lunch? Now?’

Erin paused in unlocking the cabinet and shook her head. ‘Sorry, Sophie. I’ve got a customer and please-get-off-the-doormat.’

‘Oooh nooo! You must be able to escape,’ Sophie squeaked, still on the mat, still jigging, still accompanied by a series of discordant and intermittent chimes. ‘Erin, please. It’s a matter of life and death!’

‘Get-off-the-mat and … what?’ Erin suddenly felt sick. ‘It’s not Florence is it? She hasn’t been run over?’

Sophie stepped off the mat. The cacophony stopped. Brenda and her family looked relieved.

‘God, no. Sorry if I
scared you, sweetheart. Florence was happily sunning herself on Doug’s windowsill when I came in. No, it’s nothing like that.’

Erin exhaled. ‘Then why? No, honestly, I can’t.’

‘Step away from the Wade miniatures.’ Doug appeared from the storeroom and removed the cabinet key from Erin’s hands. ‘Do not touch the Wade miniatures.’ He grinned at the still-cooing Brenda. ‘So, do we have anything here to add to your collection?’

‘Oooh, yes,’ Brenda breathed.

Her family groaned again.

‘I,’ Erin said, lowering her voice and glaring at Doug, ‘am perfectly capable of serving this lady.’

‘I know,’ Doug said gently, unlocking the cabinet and handing Brenda a tiny Lady and Tramp. She squealed in delight. ‘But I owe you one. With Gina – yes, I was listening, and you were very tactful – and now Sophie seems about to burst if she doesn’t tell you something. So, you go to lunch and I’ll man the fort.’

‘And manage to avoid Gina in the pub without feeling too guilty?’ Erin shook her head. ‘You’re such a coward, not to mention totally insane, but I’m not going to have to be told twice. I’m off.’

She beamed at the still-cooing Brenda and the rest of Brenda’s glowering family, and picked her way across the shop to Sophie.

‘OK. I’m all yours. Now what’s so desperate?’

‘Nalisha’s here! Already! She’s in
the surgery!’

‘She can’t be.’ Erin’s heart sank. ‘She’s not due for two days.’

‘Well, she is, and ohmigod,’ Sophie breathed, ‘she’s so funny, and so friendly, and soooo beautiful. You never said she was that stunning.’

Erin groaned.

‘And her car!’ Sophie’s eyes were wide with excitement. ‘Wow. It’s a BMW sports convertible. It’s like something out of a Dior advert. And …’

‘Yes, OK, but why the heck is she here today? Oh God, that means I’ll have to see if Esme Bates has any rooms available and –’

‘Whatever.’ Sophie grabbed Erin’s arm. ‘We can sort it all out while we have a drink. That surgery is like an oven and I’m gagging. Come on.’

And with her arm
linked through Erin’s, Sophie hurtled across the green towards the Merry Cobbler.

*

‘… and she said she’d come down two days early because she was at a loose end and couldn’t wait to get involved in things here,’ Sophie said as she and Erin sipped iced cider under a big striped umbrella at a table outside the Merry Cobbler. ‘She said she didn’t tell Jay because she wanted it to come as a surprise.’

‘Oh, it has.’ Erin swirled rapidly melting ice cubes. ‘All of it. Believe me. And what has Jay said to her?’

‘He hasn’t seen her. He doesn’t know she’s here yet. Neither does Bella. They’re doing an emergency Caesarean on Mrs Blundell’s Yorkshire terrier.’

‘Oh, poor little Tulisa! How many puppies is she having?’

‘Probably far too many for a Yorkshire terrier, but she’ll be fine. Jay’ll make sure she’s fine. We really don’t need to worry about Tulisa, do we? I want to know all about Nalisha. Is she really Jay’s ex?’

‘No! She’s just his best friend from childhood.’

‘Yeah, right. That’s like you saying your best school friends were Johnny, Brad and George.’

‘Shut up!’ Erin giggled. ‘They grew up together. She’s like his sister. That’s all. And where is she now anyway? She’s not involved in the Caesarean too, is she?’

Sophie chuckled and blew bubbles into her cider. ‘Nah. She wanted something to do while she waited for Jay, so I’ve left her sitting behind the reception desk. We’re closed for lunch but she’s going to man the phone. She knows where I am if we get an urgent call.’

Erin frowned at Sophie. ‘You sound as if you actually like her?’

‘I do, well, what little I’ve seen
of her. She’s nothing like you said. Not stand-offish at all. She’s really friendly and she let me skip off to lunch early, and she says she’ll do my correspondence filing and my online updates, too.’

‘Is that allowed? Patient confidentiality and all that?’

‘She’s practically family. And I’ll let anyone do my filing.’

Erin shook her head. ‘Didn’t she want to see me? Did you tell her you were meeting me and we were going to the pub?’

‘Yes, but she said she’d prefer to wait for Jay.’

I bet she would, Erin thought darkly.

‘Well, as soon as I’ve finished this cider, I’m going to start as I mean to go on,’ Erin said. ‘Nalisha and I need to have a little chat.’

‘About the wedding?’ Sophie leaned her elbows on the tabletop. ‘She said she had some advice for you.’

‘Bloody hell. Is there any part of my life you haven’t covered?’

Sophie giggled. ‘You’re soooo jealous of her!’

‘No I’m not! I’m just annoyed that she’s here early, with no warning, when we really don’t want her, and that she thinks she can advise me on my own wedding, that’s all.’

‘Well,’ Sophie said, grinning, ‘if it meant I could end up looking as gorgeous as she does, I’d let Nalisha advise me on
anything
.’

‘Listen to yourself – you’ve gone all girl-fan. So sad.’ Erin drank the last of her cider and stood up carefully, making sure she didn’t rock the table and send the glasses flying. ‘I’m going to see Nalisha and be pleasant and welcoming, and then ring Esme Bates and see if she can bring her booking forward.’

‘Or she could stay here.’ Sophie
nodded towards the pub. ‘Gina does B&B, doesn’t she?’

‘Did I hear my name being taken in vain?’

Erin groaned as Gina undulated sexily out of the Merry Cobbler’s rose-covered doorway to collect glasses. ‘Hi, Gina. No – Sophie was just wondering if you had a spare room.’

‘Been chucked out of your flat, have you, Soph?’ Gina blew strands of hair away from her face. ‘Too many all-night parties? And yes, I’ve got a couple of rooms free.’

‘It’s not for me. It’s for Nalisha,’ Sophie said. ‘You know, Jay’s
friend.
’

‘Ah yes –’ Gina gave Erin a sympathetic glance ‘– I’ve heard all about her. And I thought she wasn’t coming for a few days and when she did she was staying at the Bates Motel.’

Erin flapped her hands. ‘She’s here now, but don’t worry, I’ll go and see Esme Bates and sort it out. I wouldn’t want to inflict her on you.’

Sophie giggled. ‘Erin’s jealous.’

‘Oh, God! Grow up! I’m not jealous – just annoyed.’

‘Understandably.’ Gina smiled kindly, then flapped her curls away from her face. ‘Jeeze, it’s hot out here. Mind you, it’s even hotter inside and there’s only me and Part-time Pearl and old Sam to serve. Part-time Pearl is already complaining about her “poor ol’ feet giving her gyp”, and Sam’s gone selectively deaf today and is slower than a snail, love him. If you hear of anyone even slightly able-bodied looking for bar work I’ll snap ’em up. Er, by the way, Erin, did you see Doug? Did you mention …?’

‘Yes and yes. He’s, er, busy with a customer at the moment, though. He’ll … um … probably be across as soon as he’s free.’

Gina smiled happily.

‘Right.’ Erin stood up. ‘I’m off to sort out Nalisha’s accommodation. I may be some time.’

Now cursing herself for having
given the still smiling Gina false hopes, Erin took a deep breath of scorching air and set off across the green towards the vet’s surgery.

Nook Green sweltered. A heat haze hung motionless over the village. Everywhere was silent, somnolent, drowsy. A few villagers gossiped idly in whatever shade they could find. A radio played muted nostalgia from an open window and the air smelled of scorched, baked earth.

Scrunching her way diagonally over the tinder-dry grass, kicking up little puffballs of dust, Erin was so immersed in her thoughts that she hardly felt the sun prickling the top of her head and the sweat trickling down the back of her vest.

And for the first time in months, her forthcoming marriage to Jay wasn’t the thing that was uppermost in her mind. Well, not directly at least. There was Doug and Gina to worry about now, and the two-faced Nalisha and possibly a further clash with Deena.

Erin gulped the warm, stifling air and sighed heavily. Usually, the pretty familiarity of the village acted as a balm whatever her problems. But not today. Today, the symmetry of Nook Green – with St Lawrence’s church at one end of the green, the Merry Cobbler at the other; the Old Curiosity Shop to one side and Jay’s veterinary surgery opposite; and all of them linked together by an uneven circle of skew-whiff cottages and mellow redbrick houses, not to mention the Nook Green Stores and Post Office – failed to comfort her.

She was almost unaware of the canopy
of delicious shade offered by the lacy tracery of the towering sycamores and horse chestnuts, of the glorious fallen-rainbow cottage gardens, or the distant shouts of children playing on the Nook Green recreation ground on one of the myriad lanes that radiated in high-hedged ripples from the centre of the village.

Even the hotly exotic scents of flowers and the incessant babble-over-pebbles trickle of the Nook – yet another tributary of the River Maizey – as it wandered aimlessly through the green’s tussocky grass, both of which usually delighted her, went unnoticed.

Oh, sod Doug and his cavalier approach to his love life. And sod Deena Keskar and her interfering, however well intentioned. And even more sod Nalisha for – well, just being Nalisha.

Erin quietly opened the door of the vet’s surgery and almost recoiled. It was like an oven. A fan whirled pathetically on the reception desk, spitting puffs of warm air back into the stuffy room, and pools of sunlight shimmered hotly across the waiting-room floor.

Nalisha didn’t look up. Her head bent over a sheaf of papers, she sat behind Sophie’s desk, seemingly unaware of the heat. Wearing a gossamer-thin blue and green sari, Nalisha looked mermaid cool, unruffled and elegant.