An Eternity of Eclipse (54 page)

“Why not?” I breathed out, my voice bitter not only because he wouldn’t tell me what I wanted to know, but also because I was enjoying being in his embrace all too much.

“The gift God gave all of you is a life filled with questions,” he replied in a wistful tone, carelessly stroking the curls of my ponytail. He exhaled the smoke with a relaxed sigh, staring thoughtfully at the starry skies. “It’s what helps wield your imaginations and it’s what keeps you living—it’s what gives you meaning in life. If I give away the answers to the most important mysteries of life, then you have no more reason to live for it. And what a bore that will be for you, Gracie.” He glanced down at me briefly, his eyes smiling sagely. “As a human being, you are blessed with ignorance. You should accept it as your bliss as opposed to discarding it as your burden.”

And there he inspired the most important question—a question that I couldn’t believe I had never asked. With bated breath, I voiced a question that sent goose bumps throughout my entire body.

“Have you ever met God?”

The hard muscles of his body tightened.

For a transitory breath, his face was cool of emotions.

The only sounds that could be heard were the howling of the wind, the light creaking of the Ferris wheel, and the soft swishing noises coming from our alcohol bottles. Even his cigarette seemed to have burned out at the verbalization of this question.

Face stoic, Eclipse took an unusually long swig from his drink.

“I am a full-blooded Demon,” he finally answered, his attention more on stroking my hair and flirting with me rather than the conversation. He flicked his cigarette away, allowing it to fall to the mercy of gravity before it descended into oblivion. “I do not have the honor of meeting God.”

“Honor?” I was surprised by his choice of terminology. “That’s an interesting choice of word.”

“Not all Demons have a negative perception of God,” he enlightened mildly. Even though he appeared apathetic with his answers, I could tell from the subtle inflection in his voice that he was more than invested—he just didn’t want to show me how invested he actually was. “I happen to respect God very much. I mean, I happen to respect power and God is an indisputably powerful entity. It only makes sense that I would admire and envy his station in life.”

“Why don’t you have the honor of meeting God?”

This time the stoic expression on his face lasted for several discernible seconds.

With a controlled, even tone that throbbed with pent-up resentment, he finally showed some emotions when he answered, “Because of who I am. Because I am a pureblooded Demon . . . because I am the son of the first Fallen Angel . . . and because my father has performed the unforgivable sin and renounced God as the creator, God will never accept me. Because of things I cannot control, he will never deign to look upon me.”

His gaze on me turned scrutinizing, almost envious. The strange thing was that he didn’t appear envious of me exactly, but of everything—and everyone—I represented: humans.

“For someone as powerful as me, I am made to feel insignificant. My existence is overshadowed by the likes of your . . . kind.”

I shouldn’t have provoked him, but I kept pushing him to continue anyway. “Why is my kind so special?”

“You’re not special,” he corrected, his eyes turning critical. “None of you are.” He went on, and no matter how offensive the content of his words, I knew that he wasn’t trying to personally offend me. Eclipse was simply expressing his resentment for my race. “There is absolutely nothing extraordinary about any of you. You are insignificant in a world so powerful. The only thing that makes you the envy of the rest of creation is that you are blessed. Though he created you to be weak and insignificant, he also gifted you with his unwavering love. You can disrespect him, renounce him, and hurt him all you want, but if you truly ask him for his forgiveness, then he will grant it to you because he knows that you do not know better. He accepts you for your imperfections. He accepts you for your weakness because, in truth, he created you to be that way.”

He smiled self-deprecatingly, looking out into the distance once more. His face was pale and filled with emotions I couldn’t decipher.

“I do not have that honor or that type of absolution. Instead, I am punished—damned the second I took my first breath. In a world filled with people who have renounced him as the Creator and defiled his name, he continues to love them from afar. But me, I’ve always known of his existence and respected his name. Yet he will never deign to look upon me.” He turned to me briefly. “This is the primary reason why God does not deal with hunting or killing Demons. This is why his Angels are his messengers and his weapons. There is an honor to being in his presence and he will never give that honor to a Demon.”

Eclipse shook his head, laughing disbelievingly. A lackadaisical smirk contoured his lips while he emanated indifference. He closed his eyes for a second, as if making peace with God’s snobbery.

“To be honest, it’s a shame that I can’t meet him because aside from the bitterness I hear from the Angels who fell with my father, I could surmise that he’s really nice and cool when you’re on his good side.” He grinned like a little boy would when talking about his favorite sports celebrity. “I imagine it would be fun to meet him, hang out with him, talk to him about the birds and the bees, and even play checkers with him.”

I raised a brow at his last words.

Was it ironic that I found it endearing that a Demon would want to do such silly things with God?

“Checkers?” I prompted, hiding a smile. “The very spawn of Satan wants to play checkers with God?”

Eclipse nodded unabashedly before carefully adding, “Don’t misunderstand though, Gracie. I may want to meet him, but this doesn’t change anything. He doesn’t believe in me because he has good reason not to. It is not in my blood to be loyal to him, to fear him, or to bow down to him. It will
always
be in my blood to want to dethrone him—to punish him for choosing humans over my race. It will always be in my blood to look at him as my enemy.”

I smiled coolly, nodding at his words. “The unending war between good and evil, right?”

He shook his head. “In my eyes, there is no war between good and evil. To me, anyone who goes against me is at war with me. If you piss me off and if you threaten my existence, then you will pay. It’s as simple as that.” As a huge gust of wind crashed like a wave upon us, Eclipse was brought out of his reverie. Sighing and relinquishing the spotlight on himself, he focused his attention on me instead. “What about you, Teacup? Do you believe in the almighty Heavenly Father above?”

Now it was my turn to place a cool expression on my face.

I turned to the distance for a split second, looking up at the star-canvassed sky and then the world ahead of me. “I believe in the existence of God, but I do not believe that God exists for me.”

In my peripheral vision, I could see Eclipse tilt his head, curiosity dwelling in the depths of his eyes. “Care to elaborate on that?”

I shook my head as a silent way of telling him that he wasn’t going to get any more out of me. I may have felt comfortable opening up to him vaguely, but Eclipse would only get small admissions with me. I didn’t trust him enough to open up any more than I had to.

I tilted my own head at him and posed another thought that came to mind. “What did my six-year-old self say to you, Eclipse? About the thing you can do to get on my good side?”

A teasing glint shone in his eyes. Just like I had put up the walls with him, he was going to do the same to me. “It’s a secret.”

I batted my eyes at him disapprovingly. “You’re keeping a secret that
I
told you from me?”

A carefree grin appeared across his mouth. He leaned back and nonchalantly folded his arms. “Maybe one day I’ll tell you,” he appeased tauntingly.

“That’s not fair.”

He lifted a challenging brow. “You keep things from me as well, Gracie.” He straightened himself and locked his gaze with mine. “Give me something in return and I will tell you all the secrets in the world.”

I studied him with careful eyes. “What else can I give you that doesn’t require my soul?”

He smiled enticingly, slowly moving his gaze downwards and locking it on my lips. The muscles in his jaw tightened. It was as if he was using all his willpower to not lean over and press his lips against mine.

“If being intimate with me wasn’t so toxic to you, then I would’ve bartered for a single kiss long ago.” He smirked dryly to himself, his eyes running over me with appreciation. “What a pitiful state I’ve found myself in. I could have any woman I want, yet here I am playing abstinence with you and yearning for a simple kiss.” He let out a weary breath as he tucked my loose bangs behind my ear. “I cannot wait for the day when all of your veils are lifted—when I can truly have you all to myself.”

“How come you’re still single?” I couldn’t help but ask when I saw the leeway to do so. “Lyna says that you’re an elitist, but I imagine you’ve been exposed to the best of the best. Why haven’t you given yourself to anyone yet?”

He easily held my gaze, his fingers stroking the lining of my jaw with care.

“Would you believe me if I told you I just wasn’t interested?” He shrugged halfheartedly, bringing his hand down and pulling me closer to him once the cold air began to steal our warmth. “I’ve seen my fair share of the most beautiful women I will ever lay eyes on, yet none seem to possess the ability to hold my attention for very long. The only thing that truly consumed me was my pursuit of power. In human terms, I was a workaholic and the worst kind. That’s why I’m still single . . . because no one has interested me enough to pull me away from my first love—which is my undying love for power.”

I smiled at him, getting him right where I wanted him for the next stage of our conversation. “You didn’t voluntarily become a Dimmed Demon, did you?”

Although he feigned ignorance, I knew my words hit a nerve.

“What do you mean?” he asked slowly.

“I don’t know you very well, but I do know that you’re very power-hungry.” I gazed intently into his eyes. “Your overpowering arrogance tells me that you are not the type who would allow yourself to fall into this pitiful state unless you were forced into it somehow . . .”

Eclipse expelled an amused chuckle. His teasing finger traced the side of my neck, sending electrical circuits flying through me. “It is very bold of you to suggest that I was forced to come here.”

Inflexibility pulsated in my eyes. I wasn’t going to let him charm his way out of this one. I was on to something and I wasn’t going to let it go.

“What did you do to become a Dimmed Demon?” I asked slowly and carefully. “What did you do to piss off your brothers so much? What did you do to make yourself such a hated entity in your world that even Demons are looking for you?” My eyes implored his to finally tell me the truth. “What happened that caused you to descend so far from your throne? Why are you nothing more than a Demon fending for his life right now? Why are you at the mercy of a human girl?”

The mocking expression that was supposed to deter me from this conversation waned on his face. He smiled, this time his expression genuinely impressed. “You’re not just a pretty face, are you, Teacup?”

“Answer my questions, Eclipse,” I said in my sternest voice. Sensing that he would not give me what I wanted, I decided to charm the information out of him—just like he did with my six-year-old self in the police station. “I promise I’ll like you more if you answer.”

His brows cocked up in amusement. “You’re using your affections as a bargaining chip?”

I nodded, hoping that my own charms would be enough to butter him up. Luckily, it seemed that Eclipse’s obvious liking to me helped seal the deal. Trimming down a layer of his wall, he finally bequeathed me with the answer I was seeking.

“The first thing you should know about me is that I’m not a good guy,” he told me simply, his expression serious. “I’m sure you know that already, but I want to clarify that even when compared to other Demons, I am still not the good guy. I may appear nice because I dote on you, but I’m not like this with anyone else. And to be perfectly honest with you, I am slightly taken aback with this . . . kinder . . . side of me, but I attribute this out-of-character trait to being a Dimmed Demon. In any case, where I come from, I am a very hated entity.”

“Why?”

Then, as we sat suspended above the world, defying gravity and swimming with the air, he finally revealed the true reason for his current state in life. 

“I am a Fallen Demon.”

“Nothing big is coming, my love."
35:
Soul Mates

My eyes enlarged at the strange term. “A Fallen Demon?”

He nodded.

I was stunned with what he was sharing. “How did you become a Fallen Demon?”

Eclipse stared deep into my eyes, his gaze challenging me to deduce the answer myself. “How did my father fall from Heaven?”

“He tried to overthrow God,” I answered mindlessly before my eyes widened further. It was then that I realized Eclipse’s sin. “You tried to overthrow your father?”

He nodded again, regally folding his arms over his chest as only a Prince could. “I tried to overthrow the monarchy he created. I’ve always been known to be a very ambitious Demon. With this type of disposition, a shared governance is not one that sits well with me, especially a weak and flawed shared governance at that.” He peered up at the dark skies, his brown eyes taking on a darker hue. “If I don’t agree with the politics of a governing body and if I think it could be better under my sole reign, then I’m not the type of Demon who campaigns for support—I demand it. I take it by force.”

I could hear my heart beat in my ears as I stared at him with anticipation.

“What happened?” I asked almost breathlessly, trying to keep my excited voice down. It astounded me that he was opening up to me. I was all ears.

“I gathered my army, brought forth one of the biggest wars in Hell, and attempted to overthrow my brothers from the monarchy my father created.” He sighed regretfully. “Obviously my plans of being the greedy younger brother didn’t pan out. When I was overpowered by my brothers, I was thrown into captivity and ultimately punished for my ‘treason’ against the established monarchy.”

“Why weren’t you killed for what you did?” I asked, posing the most obvious question. “Why are you still alive?”

And why are you here with me?
I asked in my mind.

A half smirk formed on his mouth, resentment threading his face. “Because it is not in the blood of myself or my brothers’ to kill each other. We all stemmed from our father so in that respect, we would never let each other die. But just because death is not an option, it doesn’t mean that we do not enjoy watching each other suffer.” His focus meandered across the brightly lit booths below us. “As my punishment from my Elder Brothers, my powers were stripped.” He swallowed tightly. “To be stripped of the full potency of my power is quite possibly one of the worst punishments anyone could give me. When they locked me in my Kingdom and left me to brood over my pitiful state, I had given up all hope in life.”

The anger emitting from him was difficult to ignore. Even in the silence, I could feel his fury seep into the air, thickening it with rage. Humility wasn’t a strong suit for such a prideful Prince.

After several heartbeats of allowing the silence to envelop him, his eyes found mine again. Almost immediately, the resentment melted away to reveal an appreciation for me. 

“Then one day I remembered your existence. A girl so desired in my world that a veil was placed over her to protect her from Demons and Angels alike. A girl so special that it is speculated amongst the Royal Court that she is a Source of Evil, a rare breed that comes once every several lifetimes. In the most pitiful state of my existence, I remembered you and your existence. It occurred to me that one ambition might have been taken away from me, but that didn’t mean my quest for power had to end.”

He smiled gently at me.

“You gave my life meaning again, so-to-speak. Although they saw tremendous value in you, none of my brothers would ever risk their existence to convert you. It is notoriously known that a Source is difficult to convert—something always gets in the way for anyone who attempts it, basically making it a guaranteed suicide mission.” He let out a prideful sigh. “No matter how dangerous you are, in the end, I knew that you were going to be worth everything. Converting you would bring me back the power and glory I’ve always wanted for myself—and I was willing to put everything on the line for that reward. So I went to my brothers and the Elders of my world. I told them that although I knew my punishment was to be jailed in my Kingdom for the rest of eternity, I wanted to take my ambitious nature elsewhere. Since no one was keen on risking themselves to convert a potential Source, I told them that I would do it as a means of ‘redeeming’ myself. The deal was that I would acquire your soul, bring you back as a soldier of Hell, and return to my original station in life.”

“Everything you do is for the glory, isn’t it, Eclipse?” I finally asked caustically.

I appraised him in disappointment. Don’t get me wrong. I never once suspected that he had honorable motives when it came to being here with me (and it was a relief that he was finally being honest). Regardless, it still sucked to hear that I was nothing more than a tool used to bring him back to his original state in life.

Sensing my reserved hostility, Eclipse moved closer to me.

“I’m not going to tell you pretty little lies, Teacup,” he said softly, his fingers delicately stroking over my cheek with care. “I’m not going to tell you that I’m here because I’m in love with you because this will never be true. The truth is: I came here because I was at a dead-end in my life and everything that you represent is my second chance to make things right—to reclaim my rightful throne.”

His lips quirked upwards while his eyes gazed favorably at me.

“Not to mention converting you would mean that I would be able to succumb to my own desires. I’ve never had anyone hold my attention and interest like you do. I will never love you, but my lust for you seems to be growing stronger every single day. It would be a lie if I were to tell you that I haven’t become attached to you as well.” His soft eyes stared into mine. “However angry you may be, you should know that I’ve taken a strong liking to you. You have become very special to me, Gracie. Hell, if it keeps going like this, I think my lust for you might rival my lust for the throne.”

Though I was briefly touched by his words, I couldn’t shake my irritated thoughts about everything he shared with me. “I used to think that I was a selfish and self-absorbed person, but you take the crown for being the most self-serving entity in the world. You are unbelievable.”

He grinned, accepting my insults with grace. “I told you I’m not the good guy in this equation. I’ve told you from the beginning that I will never love you—that all of this is just physical attraction and lust. I’m a Demon, Gracie. My intentions will never be selfless.”

His fingers lightly brushed against the skin of my cheek.

“Your only true consolation is that no matter how skewed my intentions may be, I have taken a very strong liking to you. It just so happens that seeing you happy makes me happy as well. Since this is the case, the bottom line is that I will always take care of you. I will protect you, I will keep you safe, and I will kill anything that threatens to take you away from me. My selfishness, my own need for self-preservation, and my inability to love anything more than myself will help seal this guarantee of mine to you. You don’t have to worry, Teacup. I am selfish, but I do take care of the things that I treasure. And you are no exception to that rule.”

My heart skipped a beat as his words rolled over me. Though I probably shouldn’t be, I found myself faintly touched. The Demon did not confess his love, but the very fact that he allowed himself to grow attached to me—to care about me—was a big concession in itself. I have never had anyone say such nice things to me.

I did not know how to respond. I wasn’t good with this sentimental stuff. Nevertheless, I knew that my silence said it all. I would never believe him entirely, but at that suspended moment in time, I believed everything he told me.

Perhaps Eclipse isn’t as diabolical as I deemed him to be,
I thought tentatively.

I slowly grew lost in the pools of his eyes, finding it difficult to turn away from him. It wasn’t until his hand cupped my face that all thoughts dissolved into oblivion. A companionable silence overtook us in the most basic of ways. The increments of time became irrelevant; all that seemed to matter was reveling in one another’s existence. While the cold wind swam like an ocean around us, canvassing over us and hiding us from the rest of the world, Eclipse did something that caused my heart to skip a beat.

In a fluid movement, he leaned in. He pressed his forehead against mine while his hand held my face, sending slivers of warmth into my already flushing body. I wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol rendering me weak or my own lack of self-control, but I couldn’t force myself to move away from him. Instead, I inhaled his enticing scent, enjoyed the heat jumping out of his powerfully built body, and savored the sensation of being the object of his affection.

Then with deliberate slowness, his nose nipped affectionately with mine as I imagined Eskimos would do to “kiss.” The intoxicating scent of Jack Daniel’s, along with his own natural scent, overwhelmed my senses as I flushed at his sensuous actions. It was pure irony that we were both old enough to have intercourse, yet we were playing with each other as if we were children. If I weren’t the other person in this scene, I would’ve laughed.

As though surprised by the way he was behaving, Eclipse subtly brought us out of the intimate ambiance we were in. He may have been open-minded about divulging some aspects of his life, but he was not open-minded about appearing vulnerable in front of me.

“. . . Do not fall for me,” he whispered softly. His once brown eyes darkened into an obsidian hue. It was more exotic now. It was less human, more immortal, but still utterly intoxicating.

It took me a few heartbeats to register what he said and several more heartbeats to grasp the precarious situation I was in—that I was actually allowing Eclipse to tease me without putting up a fight.

“Excuse me?” I uttered in confusion, coming out of my daze.

The ardor in his eyes remained, yet his words sounded firmer than ever before.

“Do not fall in love with me, Gracie,” he reiterated. His dark voice pulsed with a mixture of desire and restraint. His hand was still cradling my face with care while his thumb caressed my bottom lip. “Take me as I am, entertain yourself with me, but never fall in love with me. I am capable of many things, but love is not one of them.”

My eyes sharpened in offense. I pulled out of his hold, finally regaining my sensibilities. Attempting to hold onto whatever wit I had left, I firmly asked, “What on earth would possess you to believe that I would fall in love with you?”

He smiled lightly at my hostile actions. A free hand was now gliding through my hair, stroking it with adoration.

“Just a fair warning, Teacup,” he said with amusement. “I would break your heart if you saw me as anything more than extravagant sex.”

I knew what he was saying: “
Enter and play at your own risk
.” I scoffed to myself, shaking my head at him. He didn’t need to tell me those rules. I already had them engraved in my selfish and self-serving mind.

“Do not think so highly of yourself, Ashtray,” I told him, my voice pulsing with confidence. Who would be naïve enough to fall for him of all things? “Only the foolish would fall for the Demon of Lust.”

He smiled approvingly, pleased with my answer. His gaze fixed on my lips, staring at them as if memorizing every curve. “I know you’ll be smarter than that.”

With that warning out of the way—and as if no longer able to control his own desires—he suddenly leaned in.

His decadent lips were a breath from meeting mine when I said, “Don’t fall for me either.”

Eclipse stopped just before our lips met, his hot breath caressing over my lips. His eyes appraised me, his gaze finding hilarity at the hypothetical and improbable event in which a Demon would ever fall in love with a human girl.

When I saw this, I smiled challengingly at him. Even though I knew he would never fall in love with me, I wanted to put it out there to make myself appear dangerous as well.

“You will regret it if you do,” I added ominously.

“I know I will,” he agreed before giving up all self-control. He slowly moved his lips towards the base of my neck. His wicked mouth kissed the sensitive skin there, causing a maelstrom of pleasure to erupt within me. His lips traced up the column of my neck, leaving white-hot kisses in their wake. As he left me sighing in bliss, he murmured, “I’ve fallen too far from my throne already. God knows I don’t need to fall any further from grace . . .”

Lost in a haze of need, my breath lodged itself in my chest. I indulged in the feel of him braising his sinful lips along my neck, praying that this glorious experience would never end. His kisses along my neck were slow, sensual, and exhilarating—it felt as if he had all the time in the world to sit there and brand me in a way that no human man ever could. An involuntary mewl of pleasure escaped my lips, and he groaned in approval, his lips becoming more fervent.

I was becoming mindless from the extravagant pleasure when I felt warm blood trickle from my nose.

Aware that my body was getting ready to deteriorate from the intimacy of his touch, Eclipse reluctantly extracted his lips from my neck and gave me one last lingering kiss to my collarbone.