An Heir of Deception (40 page)

“But don’t you see, Alex, should anyone discover the truth about me nothing else would matter. It wouldn’t matter how I looked—that my skin and hair are this color. It wouldn’t matter that my father was an earl or that my husband is a marquess and future duke. They would only see the part of me that’s my mother. The part that will never be good enough.” Charlotte willed the tears not to fall.

“I have never lived my life to satisfy those in Society or elsewhere and I never will. I love you and everything that makes you who you are. And for that I will forever be grateful to your mother.”

“Oh Alex, you say that now but you don’t know what the future holds. They have always accepted you even when your father did not.”

“Will you stop loving me?” he asked.

Startled, Charlotte responded without thought. “Of course not.”

“Then why do you think I’ll stop loving you should things get hard or unpleasant or scandal falls down on our house? Do I appear to be a man lacking in character? A man weak of mind as well as spine?”

“No, you are a good man. You are the best man. But can anyone be sure unless one’s love is truly tested? Maybe I’m selfish, but we are finally together after five years and I simply don’t want to risk losing you again. But I fear I shall in any case.”

The person who’d written the letter was still out there. That she was sure of.

Alex’s face was a myriad of emotions: frustration, anguish and love. He studied her a long time before saying in as defeated tone as she’d ever heard, “Charlotte, if you do not know me well enough by now, then I truly did lose you five years ago. If I don’t have your trust in this, then we have nothing.”

He remained there long enough for his words to settle in and drag her under like quicksand. He then turned and strode from the room, leaving her standing alone and numb. Moments later, she heard the hollow echo of his footsteps as he ascended the stairs.

Shaken, Charlotte made her way to a nearby chair and sat down hard. She pressed her hand over her heart.

Five years ago she’d crossed the Atlantic to America alone yet she’d never felt as alone as she felt at that moment.

Chapter Twenty-Two

After everything they’d been through, she still didn’t love him enough to fully trust him
.

The pain of it twisted his insides. Alex remembered the look in her eyes, the wrenching sadness in her face. He was no longer the man she once loved. Somehow, somewhere along their journey to this place in their lives, he had morphed into a man who would judge her and find her wanting. A sheep easily herded by rigid strictures of Society.

And there was nothing he could say, nothing he could do that would change her way of thinking.

Alex lay on his bed, his hands laced beneath his head as he stared sightlessly up at the ceiling. He thought of her maid, and his anger toward Conrad burned the length of his throat.

Alex could still hear the note in his former steward’s voice when he’d referred to the maid. As if she was of such insignificance, he could hardly comprehend the manner in which Alex had spoken to him.

After pulling himself up by the bootstrap and working like the dickens, Conrad had made something of himself. Alex could spot and tag a man like him on sight. Handsome, ambitious, educated and meticulously good at his job, his eyes were far above his rank. He was always looking for something better, wanting more. And there was nothing wrong with that. It was one of the things Alex had admired about him, why after interviewing five other applicants, he’d chosen him for the position.

But with that ambition, came a cold ruthlessness. Conrad hadn’t even believed dallying with the poor girl should have been reason for his dismissal. He’d had the audacity to blame her, a girl who hadn’t yet reached her majority, barely the age when girls of his class were out of the school room. She could have little knowledge of men.

. Marriage to her, irrespective of her extraordinary beauty, fell well beyond the realm of possibility. He’d intended to seduce her and hide her away like a dirty secret, making sure no one would ever know.

What he’d done by dismissing the man was to save the girl from certain heartbreak and ruin. He had done the right thing, the just thing. And for this, he’d earned his wife’s suspicion and distrust.

Alex angled his head to stare at the door connecting their rooms. What he wanted more than anything was to go to her, climb into her bed and slide into her. That is when all the rules and expectations of Society faded away and the only thing that mattered was the pleasure they found in each other. Just thinking about what it felt like when he thrust into her, her inner walls squeezing him, made him hard.

Alex tamped down his hunger. There was no use punishing himself for he wouldn’t find relief for what he hungered for tonight.

She had overreacted. Charlotte knew that, although it had taken hours for her to admit it to herself. She’d allowed her emotions to rule her and her fears to cloud her judgment. Obviously, the knowledge that the person who knew the truth about her had that kind of power over her—over them all—was more than disconcerting, it was terrifying.

And just when she’d allowed herself to breathe more easily, true happiness within her grasp. To have that stripped away, wrenched from her like a buoy from someone adrift at sea.

But Alex wasn’t to blame for this. And now she had what she never thought to have with him; a second chance. And if she mucked things up this time, she knew without a doubt, she’d not get another.

With that in mind, Charlotte rose from her bed. Not bothering to light the lamp, she padded across to the connecting door and opened it quietly.

Alex wasn’t certain what woke him but he awoke hard as a rock, his cock stiff and already aching. This wasn’t extraordinary or a new thing but the intensity of it was. Then he felt the soft brush of female flesh against his naked chest.

Fully awake and desire buzzing like a drug in his head, he turned to find Charlotte regarding him, her blue eyes hooded, her hair ripples of liquid gold on his pillow. Slowly, she ran her tongue along her full, pink bottom lip.

“I missed you in my bed.” Her voice was all throaty seduction.

He took in her muslin white nightdress, translucent enough to render it inconsequential and wholly superfluous. Her nipples pushed impudently against the material as if begging to be feasted upon.

Saliva pooled in his mouth as lust spread through his body like liquid fire. “Then why are you wearing anything at all?” he asked in a desire-laden voice.

A siren’s smile tipped the corners of her mouth. As she pulled herself up to a seated position, her thigh made startling, lust-inducing contact with his aching cock. Without the slightest hesitation, she yanked the garment over her head and then tossed it blithely on the floor beside the bed.

Hunger was practically consuming his insides. Her nipples were pointing directly at his mouth.

“I want you.” And in a bold move, she ran her hand down his chest, her fingernails scoring the hot skin of his lower stomach.

His ribs jumped as she curled her slender hand around his erection. A breath hissed from his throat and ended in a drawn-out groan.

“Damn, Char.” He fell back on the bed, pleasure making him weak and needy and demanding. “Do it harder.”

Her clasp tightened on him and her hand worked him faster. Alex was certain he was going to explode. The sight of her dainty hand wrapped around him, pleasuring him, sent all the blood rushing from his head to his cock.

“You always take such care in pleasing me. Well I want to pleasure you tonight.” Even as she spoke in that husky murmur, she didn’t remove her gaze from his cock.

Alex’s hips fell and rose under the urgent sweep of her hand. Blood roared in his ears.

Then she did something so shocking, he lost a foothold on reality. Bending her head, she swirled her tongue around the head of his cock. Had he the capacity to speak, he would have praised her but her tongue on him had left him without even the ability to think and his breathing was reduced to pants and groans.

“Ummm.” He was officially incoherent.

Staring up at him through slumberous eyes, she enclosed the head of his erection in her mouth. His hips jerked clean off the bed. She smiled but didn’t release him from her wet grip.

Pleasured seared him. But as good as it felt, this time he wanted to come inside her. Before he could explode, he hauled her up and flipped her onto her back. A startled gasp escaped her lips as he propped her leg over his shoulder, leaving her open to him.

Her desire glistened on the pink folds of her sex. He tested her readiness with a blunt probe. She was tight and wet, her body prepared for what she’d started.

Barely open, her blue eyes glazed with desire as she stared helplessly up at him. “Alex.” His name came out on a breathy sigh, full of need and yearning.

Grasping his throbbing erection in his hand, he slowly pushed his way inside.

She closed around him, her feminine walls squeezing him. He halted midway home, the pleasure so acute he feared he’d spend himself before he could satisfy her.

“Alex.” This time his name sounded something close to an urgent wail. She clenched him harder, tighter.

He gritted his teeth and then bit the inside of his mouth in an attempt to hold off his coming release. The last time he’d failed to bring a woman to completion during intercourse, he’d been all of seventeen and drunk on whiskey and rum.

Going slow may have seemed an achievable goal seconds ago, but it was clear he lacked the control to follow through. Thrusting hard, he buried himself to the hilt.

Her breasts bounced, her hips arched and her eyes fluttered closed as a gasp escaped her lips. He wanted to be gentle with her but his body had a mind of its own, immediately setting a brisk, urgent pace.

Her leg was malleable in his hand as he began thrusting, pumping into her with enough vigor to force her passion-glazed eyes open, and then pulling out so far only the tip of his cock remained inside her and she moaned in protest.

He may have made it another minute or two if she hadn’t thrown back her head, lifted her hips as he buried himself deep in her and clutched his buttocks possessively.

The touch of her hands and the sight of him plunging inside her set him off like a rocket. The climb to the ultimate release was the most excruciating he’d ever had. And the explosion, when it came, ripped through him with such force his mind went blank.

But a part of him must have regained consciousness because he felt the moment her orgasm took her. She pulsated around him as her body went taut and the sound she emitted walked the fine line between a scream and a moan.

Wrung dry and utterly spent, he flung himself from atop her and onto his back. With his heart pounding loud in his ears and his chest heaving, Alex pulled her damp, limp body snug against him. Even now he couldn’t bear to be apart from her.

“Alex,” she said, her voice throaty and low, “I’m sorry for being such a goose. I do believe you love me. It’s just—”

“Shh, I’m just glad you came to me tonight.” His arms tightened about her, pressing her breasts together and forcing them up high on her slender torso. How he had done without this woman in his life for all those years was a mystery. But he had survived. Thank God for that.

Pushing damp strands of her hair back over her shoulder, he pressed a kiss on her neck. “Stay.”

And that was all that needed to be said.