An Innocent Affair (11 page)

‘I rarely do what I should.'

‘I noticed that.'

‘Where does Rebecca work?'

‘London. She's a banker.'

She ought to have made the connection before— Anna's lady banker. If Alex made a habit of sleeping with other women that would explain the tension Anna had noticed in her. Though Hope hadn't noticed any signs of stress. ‘Is the distance convenient or inconvenient?'

‘If you're trying to get a display of guilt or remorse you're wasting your time. You didn't know Rebecca existed the night we spent together…'

‘Too right I didn't!'

‘Last night you did.' Hope flushed under the intensity of his stare. ‘And yet you'd have let me make love to you with her in the same house.'

‘In your dreams,' she lied wildly. She couldn't escape the sobering reality of his words.

He caught the toast as it shot out. ‘Perhaps we should compare those some time.' He intercepted her blank look. ‘Dreams,' he elaborated. ‘Marmalade or honey?'

‘I'm not hungry.'

‘Honey I think,' he responded, as though she'd not spoken. ‘As my mother would say, you look peaky.'

‘I don't. I look quite good.'

‘Granted. It really is effortless for you, isn't it? Women would hate you in their droves if they suspected how little work you put into your appearance.' The warm expression in his eyes as he bent over and placed the plate before her made her stomach muscles quiver violently. ‘Eat anyway.'

She bit into the toast. ‘I thought your mother was dead, Alex,' she said tentatively, wondering whether his choice of tense had been accidental.

‘Dead! Hell, no, when the old man traded her in she moved back home to Yorkshire.' His lips thinned at the memory and his eyes were bleakly resentful.

‘But you lived with him.'

‘He was the one with the money. She thought it would be better for me.'

‘And was it?' Separated from his mother at a tender age—her heart ached with sympathy. It had been a long time since she'd taken her own stable and happy childhood for granted. Now she knew how rare those magical years had been

‘Speculation is a pointless exercise. I prefer to reserve my energies for things I can alter.'

Focus was something Alex was generously endowed with, she silently reflected. ‘Do you see her much now?'

‘Not as often as I'd like. I've asked her to move down here, but she's a very stubborn, proud lady.'

‘She must have hated him,' Hope mused.

‘Actually she never stopped loving him. But then there's nowt so queer as folk.'

‘Another quote?' There was a blighting bitterness in his words that made her squirm uncomfortably in her seat. Alex the domineering monster was much easier to learn to hate than a man who'd known loneliness and bewilderment as a child.

‘Derivative, but every one a gem.'

‘Do you stay in contact with your stepmother?'

‘Eva?' He looked amused at he thought. ‘Not since I bought out her shares in the company.'

‘Was she very…?'

‘Wicked? Evil and cruel?' He laughed. It was a hard sound. ‘I hate to wipe that very fetching light of sympathy from your eyes, Hope, but Eva barely noticed I was there—at least not when I was a child.'

‘But you're more friendly now?'

‘I didn't mean a special bond developed, Hope. I meant that once I became adult—barely—I became a lot more interesting to her.'

Hope's eyes opened wide with shock ‘You don't mean…?'

‘I mean Eva has always been a woman who needs constant reassurance that she's attractive. This takes the form of seducing the male of the species.'

‘Did she…?' Embarrassed, she looked away from the cynical gleam in his grey eyes.

‘I held out—just.' To her surprise he recalled the past with wry humour rather than psychological trauma. ‘She was a very attractive woman and I had hormones coming
out of my ears. My mother winkled the truth out of me and threatened to inform Dad. I had no more trouble with Eva.'

‘Did your father ever find out?'

Alex laughed. ‘Dad was too busy pleasing her and trying to influence the people who mattered,' he observed ironically. ‘In some ways his preoccupation with Eva took the pressure off me. My father wasn't an easy man to please. After I'd worked for him for a few years I went to university to study design, and from there to Italy. Car design was always my first love.

‘Dear God, woman!' he exploded suddenly. ‘How the hell do you survive out there with all that empathy?' Looking at the soft sympathy in her eyes infuriated him. Every time he put this woman into a neat compartment she bashed down the bloody walls. It was driving him crazy!

‘I don't know what…' she began in a bewildered voice.

‘Are you a sucker for every hard luck story? People take sympathy and use it.'

‘Are you suggesting I become as hard and impersonal as you?'

‘I certainly don't take what people tell me at face-value.'

‘You start with the assumption that people are out to mislead you.' This attitude horrified her. ‘Caution's OK, but pathological mistrust is ridiculous. I'm not an idiot, Alex, I know most people aren't saints.'

‘You think there are
some
saints, then?'

‘You can laugh,' she responded, stung by the mockery in his manner. ‘But I'll carry on giving people the benefit of the doubt.'

‘My God, you're a closet romantic!'

‘Am not!'

‘Are too.'

Their sudden laughter was strangely companionable. Hope found herself loving the way the laughter lines around his eyes deepened, driving the austerity from his strong face. He looked so approachable it would have been easy to forget…

‘How do you know I've not been making up my deprived childhood to get you back into my bed?'

The laughter died abruptly from Hope's face. Talk about being brought back to reality with a bump. ‘I'd be surprised that you'd go to so much trouble. I thought your arrogance was so supreme you'd think a nod is all it would take. Besides, what about the barge-pole?'

Alex looked at her blankly.

‘The one you wouldn't touch me with,' she reminded him softly.

‘Oh, that barge-pole. I haven't forgotten it,' he assured her.

‘I'm relieved to hear it. I'll call Adam—he'll pick me up.' She pushed aside her half-eaten toast. Her stomach rebelled just looking at it.

‘There's no need. I'm going into town anyway. I'll have to stock up on essentials; the last time we had a major thaw the river broke its banks and I was stranded for three days. I'll just feed the birds first.' He turned and pulled a plate of steak from the fridge. ‘Unless you're going to donate Daphne for their breakfast?'

The memory of the cruel beak and talons made Hope shudder. ‘Have you got more than one bird?'

‘Besides the falcon, a harrier hawk and a barn owl. A friend of mine runs a falconry centre about twenty miles away. He's developed a sanctuary there for sick and injured birds of prey. You'd be surprised how many of those there are. He persuaded me to go hunting with him
a while back, and now I've got three of his orphans. A bit like you and Daphne.'

‘Hardly. It's cruel.'

‘What is? Keeping wild creatures or letting them hunt? Falconry is an ancient sport. The birds would be dead if Jim hadn't taken them in. There is no master-servant relationship with birds of prey—that's what I like about it. They could survive in the wild if they wanted to; they stay because it suits them. Why don't you come and see for yourself?'

He looked surprised he'd made the offer.

‘All right.' Curiosity overcame her caution.

The large wooden structures were in the sheltered courtyard of stone outbuildings at the back of the Mill House.

‘Watch the ice,' Alex warned as she manoeuvred herself over the slippery cobbles. The snow was fast becoming slushy, but Alex had shovelled pathways through. She watched as he fed the two birds. Their claws looked amazingly large and powerful compared to their light bodies as they tore at their food. They were cruel, but very beautiful.

‘You've met Hector—this one's Prospero.' He indicated the smaller bird. ‘He's a Merlin.'

‘He's so tiny,' she marvelled.

‘Here, put this on.' Hope froze in surprise as Alex slid a leather gauntlet on her wrist, but she wasn't too alarmed—both birds were in their pens. ‘Lean against me,' he instructed as he took one crutch from her grasp. Her back to him, she automatically leaned against him for support. ‘You're cold. You should have put on a coat.'

Hope felt breathless. ‘You didn't give me much chance.'

‘Now, hold your hand above your head. A bird will
land on the highest point, and you don't want that to be your head.' Hope glanced around in bewilderment as Alex raised her hand.

The size took her by surprise. She'd never seen an owl up close before. The wing span as the bird sailed majestically towards her took her breath away. The creature's snowy plumage put the snow to shame.

‘I didn't hear a thing,' she gasped.

‘The wings are soft, so she's lethally silent. She's quite heavy,' Alex warned as the talons found a purchase on the leather.

‘Where did she come from?' Hope whispered, unable to take her eyes from the magnificent creature.

‘She hunts at night, but she nests free—the other side of the house. I'll offer her some food. Are you all right?'

‘She's beautiful, Alex,' she whispered in an awed voice.

‘I know.' His eyes were not on the half-wild creature.

‘I
S IT
done?' Hope opened one eye and looked hopefully at her brother-in-law.

‘Quite done,' he confirmed.

‘I didn't feel a thing,' she marvelled. Critically she looked down at her pale leg and wriggled her toes. ‘That thing makes an awful noise,' she said, grimacing at the small mechanised saw he had just put down.

‘You big baby,' he teased. ‘I hope you appreciate I don't normally participate in such mundane tasks.'

‘I'm honoured,' she responded drily.

‘You're a terrible patient. It's obviously genetic.'

‘Anna's much worse,' Hope objected.

‘As I said, it's genetic. Are you going straight up to London?'

‘You can't wait to get rid of me, can you?' she teased.

‘That's it, throw my hospitality back in my face.'

Hope grinned. ‘Actually, I have packed, but I thought I'd stop off at the farm on the way to see how the work's coming along. I'm reading for the part in the morning.'

‘The West End, eh? Are you nervous?'

‘Terrified,' she confided, ‘but excited.' The idea of working on the stage was thrilling, and it was something she'd always dreamt about. She still couldn't believe that she was being given an opportunity.

‘Wouldn't the understudy normally have stepped into the breach when one of the leading ladies' appendix pops?' Adam asked curiously.

‘Normally she would, and she is at the moment, but she has got a bad case of morning sickness that wasn't
planned for—the sort that lasts twenty-four hours a day by all accounts. She can hardly stand up, let alone play the main support.

‘I'm probably making a big mistake here,' she mused out loud. ‘Not content with taking over from a successful and highly popular actress, I'm going to muscle in on a company who all know one another. Me! Who has no stage credibility at all! I'm stark, staring mad. At least I know the lines—the local amateur dramatic company did a production in my last year with them.'

‘You'll do fine,' Adam said, with the hearty conviction of someone who didn't have to prove the point himself. ‘I didn't know you acted back in your teens.'

‘Not act, exactly, more scene-shift. I was too tall for all the local male leads by the time I was thirteen, but I did learn everybody's lines in the hope of a flu epidemic,' she confessed wryly. ‘I also tripped over a lot.' It's to be hoped I've grown out of
that,
she thought with a strained smile. There was only one way to find out.

 

Driving her own car again was bliss. It was marvellous not being reliant on anyone else. The morning was crisp and clear, she was young and healthy, and she had the rest of her life to look forward to. Only one thing marred the perfect picture. Try as she might, she couldn't stop the memory of Alex blighting otherwise perfect moments like this.

She parked in the courtyard of the farmhouse. There was only one van parked there. She couldn't remember who was meant to be working today. The new carpets were being fitted on Friday, and she hoped everything was going according to plan. The schedule had been tight.

It had been quite a juggling act, co-ordinating the plumbers, electricians, plasterers and carpenters that
were needed to complete the repairs before her parents got back from their cruise. She'd despaired of pulling it off, but just when she'd been tearing out her hair Adam had somehow worked some magic. She suspected the magic had consisted largely of bribery, with a bit of mutual back-scratching thrown in, but by that point she hadn't cared.

The front door was ajar so she went straight in. ‘Hello, anyone there?' she called out. There was no reply, so she went up the stairs towards the sound of industry. The plaster from the upper hall ceiling had been pulled down and she could see a pair of boots between the ceiling joists. She stepped over the flex of an electric fire that took the chill of the air. Great, the electrics were back on line. ‘That's what I like to see—hard work.'

The figure lowered himself down between the gap in the joists with an impressive display of agility and strength.

‘We aim to please.'

Hope felt the colour race to her cheeks. She looked around, more in hope than expectation—no, he was alone. ‘Is that the royal we? What are you doing here, Alex?'

‘There was a hitch with the joiners.'

‘That doesn't answer my question.'

‘I'm being neighbourly. What's wrong? Don't you think I'm up to the task?'

‘I'm sure you've got better things to do.'

‘Actually, I'm glad of the opportunity to get my hands dirty. I don't find anything demeaning in manual labour.' He held out his big square hands palm-up, and Hope felt the shivery, forbidden sensations stir in her belly.

‘I wasn't suggesting there is.' She tore her eyes away from the sight, only their upward journey did nothing to improve her equilibrium. The green cord shirt he wore
had at some point in his labours come unfastened a few inches above his waist. Up to this point she'd managed to avoid looking at the expanse of hair-sprinkled flesh. The strongly delineated muscles of his torso gleamed with a light coating of moisture. The blood was pounding in her ears by the time she reached eye level.

‘I sometimes rebel against the schedules, sales targets and interminable meetings,' he continued. ‘I play hooky and go and help out on the shop floor. One thing my father insisted on was that I started at the bottom—sweeping floors being the bottom. I learnt every stage of production. I might not be as fast as the men these days, but I can still build one of our cars with my own hands, from start to finish, if push comes to shove. There's nothing to beat the achievement of seeing the results of your labours taking shape under your eyes.' His pride in this capability shone in his face.

‘Don't your men feel uncomfortable with you working with them?'

‘I've never been much for the “us and them” management style. It's counterproductive and inefficient. Besides, they don't react to my sweaty body the way you do. If they did I might feel uneasy.'

Hope gave a startled gasp as a wave of mortification swept over her. ‘Men look—why shouldn't women?' I can't believe I was
that
obvious! ‘You've got a good body. There's nothing personal.' She was proud of how cool she sounded.

‘Such a liberated lady,' he breathed admiringly. ‘And no cast to cramp your style any more.' He looked down at her legs, clad in a fine-denier black. His eyes followed the curve of her calves and the elegant slimness of her thighs until they disappeared beneath the hemline of her leather skirt.

‘I'll be able to wear jeans again. It was relief getting
rid of it. Almost as much of a relief as it will be to get rid of you,' she sniped. Being caught ogling like a sex-starved teenager was a major blow to her pride. He had more raw masculinity in his little finger than most men had in their entire bodies.

‘You're not satisfied with my work?' He picked up a cloth from the nearby ladder and slowly wiped his hands. The sinews in his forearms corded.

‘I'm sure it's exemplary, but it's not…not appropriate for you to be working here,' she said primly.

‘Do you mind expanding that a little? I'm a bit slow on the uptake.'

If only he were, life would be a lot simpler. ‘If you must know I'm sick of being beholden to you!' she flared thoughtlessly.

‘Afraid of the reckoning?' he taunted.

The glitter in his eyes made her wonder just what sort of reckoning he had in mind. Speculation made her stomach tighten with excitement. ‘I'm not afraid of you or anything you could do,' she boasted emptily. ‘Just leave.' She made a rather grand gesture with her arm.

‘I told Adam I'd help.'

‘This isn't Adam's house,' she fumed. Short of hiring a crane, there wasn't any way of moving him.

‘Neither is it yours,' he pointed out with irritating logic. ‘As I said, I'm being neighbourly. Your parents are my neighbours. I've turned over a new leaf.'

‘Why?'

He sighed. ‘Suspicion in one so young. You're the one who complained I didn't pop round for tea and sympathy.'

‘I thought you advocated suspicion.'

‘You think everything I do has some dark design, don't you?' he said harshly. ‘Maybe I'm just doing it out of love.'

Hearing him joke about it hurt. Pride made her keep her expression noncommittal. ‘Perversity, more like—just to irritate me.'

‘You think I'd go to that much bother on your account? Besides, if you hadn't turned up unexpectedly today you'd have been none the wiser.'

‘I'd have got your bill.'

He grimaced. Her response appeared to irritate him intensely. ‘Does everything boil down to that for you—money?'

‘What's that supposed to mean?' she asked with dangerous calm. She enjoyed the fruits of her labour, but not even her worst enemy had ever accused her of avarice. ‘You expect to be rewarded for what you do. Why should I be any different?'

‘It comes down to
what
you do, I suppose,' he drawled, regarding her with a superior sneer that made her teeth grate. ‘You take off your clothes to titillate men for money…'

Hope's nostrils flared and her chin went up. ‘I have
never
taken off my clothes!' she cried. She'd refused several small fortunes to do just that on numerous occasions. ‘I get paid to
wear
clothes, not take them off.'

How dared he make it sound tacky and sordid? She'd be the first to admit she'd been lucky, but she'd worked damned hard, and to hear him casually denigrate what she'd achieved made her furious.

‘Don't you find it demeaning to pose provocatively with the sole intention of inflaming men?' He considered her flushed face through narrowed eyes.

‘With the sole intention of selling something—usually clothes, and almost always to women!' she contradicted hotly. ‘And I don't find anything I've ever done demeaning, with the exception of sleeping with you! I find
it hard work.' She gave a wild laugh. ‘But then the same could apply to sleeping with you too.'

The venom fell sweetly from her tongue, but looking at the taut, set lines of his face made the hot words shrivel. That one step too far, she silently cursed. I can't stop myself taking it.

‘Your memory of the occasion seems to be more vivid than mine.'

‘That's a lie,' she gasped. She might be unsure of a lot of things at that moment, but she
knew
she was on solid ground with this.

His lips curved into a wintry, sardonic smile. ‘A lie for a lie,' he murmured huskily. ‘You started it.'

‘I'll take it back if you will,' she offered. A breathless sort of excitement was swirling through her veins. ‘It wasn't hard work sleeping with you.'

Satisfaction, hot and hazardous, blazed in his eyes as she made the husky confession.

‘I haven't forgotten a single detail of making love to you.' The air almost visibly crackled with static electricity.

Hope cleared her throat noisily. ‘Right…humph. It's good to have the record straight.'

‘Isn't it? Perhaps we should repeat the experience—if you've got a space in your calendar.'

A nice way to pass the time—that was all it was to him. She knew that already, but it hurt to have her fears so thoroughly confirmed.

‘Nice idea, but I'm off to London soon—now, actually. There's nothing to hold me here now.' She bent her knee and flexed her foot to illustrate the healthy state of her injured limb. Just in case he thought anything else had held her here.

‘What's in London?' The question was casually curious.

Whilst she hadn't wanted him to give her a hard time, the fact that he'd accepted her departure without a flicker of concern added insult to injury. ‘Work—friends. I'm reading for a part in the West End.'

‘Hope Lacey conquers the world.'

She didn't want to conquer the world. She wanted to conquer one man. She wanted one man to beg her to stay. She wanted him to declare he couldn't live without her, but that was fantasy time and she knew it. She meant nothing to Alex. Sure, he desired her—but that wasn't enough.

‘That's a little premature…maybe next year.'

‘This is goodbye, then.'

Don't cry, you idiot, she told herself fiercely. Don't cry! She blinked back the hot sting of unshed tears. ‘Bye.'

A hand curled around her forearm as she turned. She spun around.

‘Haven't you forgotten something?'

‘What…?'

‘My bill.'

‘Anna has my address,' she began, turning to go once more. She couldn't bear a long, lingering farewell. If she didn't get out of here this instant she'd do something crazy, like say, I love you!

‘I don't think we need a middle man.' He jerked her closer.

She gasped as she read the starkly explicit expression in his eyes. ‘You're not actually suggesting I sleep with you as payment for services rendered? Out of gratitude! I didn't read any quote that was that ambitious.' She tried to sound amused, but the quiver in her voice spoilt the effect. The unspoken suggestion was outrageous, but outrage wasn't the emotion that was uppermost in her
mind as she glared back at him, desperate to hide the fact she had found his suggestion incredibly arousing.

‘I'm not suggesting you do anything out of gratitude,' he grated, pulling her securely into his arms. ‘Need is the incentive, here—mutual need. I've tried to ignore it, rationalise it, but I can't think straight.' His eyes blazed down at her. ‘Do you think I'd actually let you walk out? Just like that! On to pastures new.'

‘Actually, Alex, there isn't much you can do to stop me.' The lust and contempt she saw in his eyes made her feel sick. In the midst of her confusion she wasn't able to distinguish the plain fact that he was the target of his own contempt. She stopped trying to twist out of his arms; her struggles only made his steely grip tighten.