An Irresistible Bachelor (11 page)

He took a deep breath. “I'm not like that anymore.”

“Are you sure about that?” she muttered.

“Back then, I never would have apologized to you because I wouldn't have felt badly. Now I do. I know I don't have a lot of credibility when it comes to . . . things like this, but you've got to believe me. I had no intention of going down that road with you.”

She stared at him, measured him. “Have you ever cheated on . . . her before?”

“No. And I never planned to.” He walked over to the couch and sat down, putting his elbows on his knees. “I just got caught up in the moment and I made a mistake. I don't know what else to say.”

Her gaze shifted to the window, and, after a moment, returned to him. “I'm not like those women you're used to. I'm . . . just not.”

No, he thought, she certainly wasn't. She wouldn't put up with being used and he had no desire to treat her casually, either.

“I know that,” he replied. “I found it impossible to turn away from you. That's my weakness. Not your fault.”

Her head lowered and she stared at the floor for a while.

“If I stay, it's for the work. Not because I'm interested in playing games. I don't want you to do that again.”

He frowned. “You mind if I ask why not?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“What I mean is, do you have someone in your life?” He didn't really think she'd answer him, but he wanted to know.

“That's totally irrelevant. Because even if I were alone, that doesn't mean I'd be looking for you.”

He had to smile. “You've made that very clear.”

Gradually, the tension left her shoulders and her chin started to drop.

“So, can we be friends?” he asked, surprised to realize how much that mattered to him.

“No, we can't be friends.” Her eyes drifted back to the window. “You and I, we are never going to be friends.”

He didn't like that answer.

“Why not?”

“We have nothing in common.”

“Untrue. We both like art. Dogs. Grace Woodward Hall. I'm sure the list could go on and on.”

She shook her head. “I work for you. Just like the other hundred or thousand or however many people make up the Walker Fund. I'm simply one of many—”

“No, you aren't.”

“—and I want to stay that way.”

“Have you always preferred anonymity or is this just a special case because you want to avoid me?”

“This time I'm choosing it.”

Jack's hunter instincts sharpened. “And when was it not your choice?”

Quickly, she turned away. “This conversation is over.”

She walked across the room and picked up her toolbox, putting it on the table with a declarative sound.

He studied her for a moment, wondering what had caused her retreat. What exactly she was hiding.

“Tell me something.”

“No.”

“You don't know what I'm going to ask.”

“And I don't care.”

More gently, he said, “I just want to know. Did you get hurt by someone?”

She looked over at him, her eyes sparkling with outrage. “You're out of your mind—you know that?”

He stood up. “I'm just thinking it might explain something.”

“And what exactly do you think needs explaining?”

“Why you pulled back from me.”

The blush that came to her cheeks was just about the most attractive thing Jack had seen in a while. And it was confirmation, regardless of whatever denial she was about to throw at him, that she'd felt the same way he had in that closet.

Her chin rose again. “Maybe it's as simple as I didn't like it.”

“That wasn't what it felt like to me.”

“Then maybe you just enjoyed it enough for the both of us.” Her eyes flicked down to the fly of his pants.

The idea that she'd felt his arousal made him clench his teeth with need.

He knew he should back off. He knew he should just let it all go because if he pushed her too far, she was fully capable of walking out on the project. On him.

But he just couldn't. Her defiance captivated him, making the compliance he got from other women seem pale and uninteresting.

“Callie, I don't care if you pushed me back because you don't like me or because I was inappropriate or because I moved too fast. All of those are no doubt true. But I would appreciate some honesty. You liked it when I kissed you.”

She gave him a righteous huff. “You ever have trouble fitting that ego of yours indoors?”

He shook his head slowly. “Not in a place the size of Buona Fortuna. I'd probably have a hard time with a ranch or a split-level, though.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but then a smile tugged at the corners of her lips and she turned back to the toolbox.

Damn, but he wished she'd share the expression with him.

Jack took a step toward her and then forced himself to stop. “Listen, there's nothing wrong with pleasure, and most people, when they're lucky enough to find it, don't want to stop. Unless, of course, they're already with someone or they've been hurt before, which brings me back to my point. You are one of the most defensive, closed women I've ever met. It makes me think that someone's done a number on you.”

She glanced at him over her shoulder and the smile was gone. “I have no intention of discussing my personal life with you. It's none of your business as it doesn't impact our
professional
relationship. And I am not defensive!”

He cocked an eyebrow and smiled softly.

She cleared her throat and looked away. “Maybe I'm just wary of strangers. Which is a very healthy thing.”

“Does that mean, if you knew me better, you wouldn't be so cautious?”

She laughed, and the rueful edge to the sound was a relief to him. “I'm always going to be wary of you.”

“Callie. Look at me.”

It was a while before she did.

“I really am sorry. And you can trust me. With anything. With your life. I'm not going to hurt you.”

She frowned and chewed her bottom lip. Seeing her white teeth come out over the softness of her mouth made him forget his good intentions for a split second.

Her voice was almost a whisper when she finally spoke. “But you kissed me while knowing you were engaged. Didn't you?”

He shut his eyes. She had him on that one.

She began taking small jars out of the toolbox and lining them up on the table. “Maybe we should wait for the painting to arrive before we go to the MFA. And I—ah, I think I'd like to get set up now.”

It was an effective change of subject and suggested she wanted some time alone. He knew he couldn't force her any further, but sure as hell hoped she took what he'd said to heart. In spite of his actions.

“I'll leave,” he said. “But I want you to know that I'm glad you're staying. And that I really do want this to go well. For both of us.”

When she didn't respond, he walked across the room. Pausing at the head of the stairs, he said, “Callie?”

She looked up. “What?”

“Are you with someone?”

As her face reddened, he told himself he was stepping over the line again.

Although not as much as when he'd kissed her, he thought drily.

“What I mean is, do you need time off? Or to have someone come visit?” He spoke casually, trying to cover his tracks.

Because he wanted to know for himself, not to be gracious.

She frowned before responding. “I was planning on working right through.”

“And any visitors?”

She went back to the toolbox, pulling out wooden sticks and wedges of cotton. “Ah—no. No visitors.”

The shot of satisfaction that went through him made Jack want to curse.

Get the hell out of here, you idiot.

This time, he left quickly.

AS JACK walked back to the house, he looked up at the dull, cloud-covered sky and knew that getting Callie to stay solved only part of the problem he'd created.

What the hell was he going to tell Blair? The only explanation he could think of was that his self-control had slipped.

Which was no explanation at all.

Staying faithful to Blair had never been a problem before. When she'd asked him for monogamy a year ago, he'd agreed to the request and been faithful ever since. He'd wanted her to be happy, and besides, he'd begun to think about settling down with her anyway.

Since he'd made the commitment, he'd had plenty of opportunity to fall back into old habits with the ladies. Just last week he'd had another offer, as a matter of fact. Down in New York, at the Hall Gala, Candace Hanson had cornered him and suggested they put an elevator to good use. Take a little trip up the building while she went down on him.

It was curious, he thought. Candace was beautiful in a very made-up, carefully tended kind of way. And she'd obviously been interested and willing. Able too, no doubt, considering all the men she'd been with. Yet he'd found turning her down ridiculously easy.

There had been a lot of Candaces. Lovely women with a variety of angles and agendas, all willing to give him whatever he wanted. The fact that he'd walked away from them had been a testament, he'd assumed, to his relationship with Blair. But maybe he just hadn't been truly tempted. Except he just couldn't understand it. After a year of saying no to obvious offers, he found it a little hard to believe that he'd blown his perfect record on a woman who was at best ambivalent about him.

No, ambivalent was the wrong word. Callie was quite clear about what she thought of him and absolutely right to be wary, he thought. Because he didn't feel all that honorable when he was around her.

As Jack stared at the clouds rolling by, he really wished he hadn't lived up to his reputation back there.

Maybe the whole engagement was a mistake. An exercise of good planning over emotions. He heard Blair telling him he didn't love her and thought he could have made a major miscalculation.

He had been rather laissez-faire about the engagement from the very beginning. He'd asked her in front of Grace and her bodyguard, for Christ's sake, which was neither private nor particularly romantic. And he hadn't been very enthusiastic when she'd asked him when they should have the ceremony. Or where.

When Blair had questioned him that night at the Plaza, he'd gotten defensive, presumably because he felt so sure of it all. But maybe he just didn't want to look at what was going on between them for fear of seeing everything that was not.

And Blair was right to be surprised that he'd asked at all. When they'd first gotten together, he'd given her his antimarriage speech, the whole thing about the trip down the aisle being nothing more than the first step toward divorce, and therefore, a financially unattractive proposition for him. He'd had no interest in getting hosed by an ex-wife, not after working so hard for his money.

Had his fundamental opinion of married life changed? He supposed it really hadn't. But his father's death had made him start to think about the future. About children. For the sake of his unborn sons and daughters, he was willing to take a shot at the flawed institution and he knew no other woman who'd make him a better wife. Hell, maybe he and Blair could beat the odds and stay together for the long term.

Maybe he'd eventually fall in love with her.

The problem was, as he thought of Blair now, he could feel nothing but guilt in his chest. There was no spark, no wild passion, just deep fondness.

Although surely the remorse meant something, he thought.

But then again, you could feel like an absolute ass and regret something you've done without being
in
love with the person.

And what about Callie? Jack's conscience forced him to consider whether her elusiveness was her appeal. If it was, he hardly had a reason to make any big changes in his life. Or hers. Or Blair's. If everything with Callie came down to his love of a good chase, there could be one and only one outcome. He was known for getting what he wanted, and once he reached his goal, it was only a matter of time before he moved on to the next target. The cycle had ended up making him a lot of money.

And getting him branded as a playboy.

Jack shook his head, knowing he needed to take a deep breath and calm the hell down. He was skidding out of control, which was a pretty reasonable response when someone's life had taken a sudden lurch from its plotted course. But he didn't need to throw out everything he'd planned just because of one kiss.

No matter how good it had been.

He was not breaking off his engagement. And he wasn't going to tell Blair a thing.

He didn't relish being a liar, but there was no reason to burden her with his mistake. She'd be hurt, and as long as he had no intention of doing it again, he didn't want to put her through the pain.

And it would never happen again. He wasn't going to blow everything he'd committed to just because he liked a good chase. Because that was all the kiss was about.

As for Callie?

His breath left him in a rush and he figured his self-control might need a little help. If only there was a way to make her less available—

Gray Bennett was in town, he thought. And handsome. Single.

Maybe his old friend was someone she'd like. If he could set the two of them up, that would mean he was covered on all fronts.

Totally committed to his fiancée. With Callie being otherwise occupied by a charmer.