An Ordinary Me (18 page)

“Reese, I’m here. I don’t know if you can hear me or not…”

I paused.

“I’m so sorry this happened to you. I promise you I will never let anything bad happen to you again.” I held her hand and rubbed my thumb over hers hoping she would feel my touch. I had never seen a girl as beautiful as Reese. I knew it from the moment I first saw her.

“Please just wake up and be okay, I will never take you for granted again.”

The lumps in my throat were choking me. I was losing all self control. Please God don’t let me lose her. I was a fool that took too long to realize what I had in front of me. Please don’t take her from me when I am finally ready to tell her how much she means to me.

“I love you, Reese Owens. I tried to fight it, I tried to resist you for your own good but I couldn’t, I can’t. You are the only girl for me. I’ve known it for a long time but fought it. Please don’t let this horrible accident take you from me. I’m begging you…and I have never begged for anything in my entire life. You were placed in my life for a reason. I know that now. You are special.”

I waited for any movement to reassure me she was okay, that she was listening to me, as if our hearts could talk to each other.

“I will tell you how much I love you every day. You deserve to hear it every day. I have been wanting to tell you for so damn long.” I wasn’t able to fight the few drops that slipped from my eyes. The pain felt like my heart was being carved out of my chest with a dull knife. No matter how hard I prayed and begged I was going to lose her. I felt it. It was completely and utterly out of my control.

I saw a slight movement on her eyes but wasn’t sure if I had just stared at her sweet face for so long that I was imagining, simply a figment of my imagination.

I leaned in and kissed her forehead not caring anymore if she saw me crying, not caring about anything other than her. I sat back in my seat convincing myself that I had finally been able to confess to her my feelings. I had to believe she really did hear me. I traced her cheek with my finger before I hung my head relenting with regret that I had held my love in for her for so long. I wanted to know she heard the words I had said to her and that she knew I loved her like I did.

I looked at her face promising to myself I would never let anything bad happen to her again.

I saw her head turn just slightly to me. “Garrison.”

“Hey, baby.” I reached up to touch her cheek.

She mumbled with a shaky, scratchy voice, “I love you more.”

I had tears falling from my eyes. Tears of fear, relief and hope. As I drove here, I knew the real possibility that I would never hear those words out of her pink lips. Hearing them from her mouth made me want to break down with relief.

The very person I took for granted not even once thinking maybe she was supposed to be in my life instead of fighting it.

I knew I needed to say something funny so that I could get rid of these lumps in my throat.

“I know you didn’t want me to leave for college but wasn’t this a little extreme.”

She just smiled. Her face was more bruised than not. Laughing would probably hurt her fragile body.

“I have no idea what I would have done if I would have lost you. You are everything to me. Do you hear me?”

She shook her head just slightly, and I saw the tears coming down her face.

“Don’t cry, baby. All that matters is you’re okay now.”

“I hope I will be.”

“You will. I know you will. Your parents have the best doctors in the state working on you.”

She took a long swallow and it looked like she was struggling. “Do you need anything?”

“Ice chips.”

I got up and walked out to see where I could find some. I found the ice machine and brought her a cup of ice and fed it to her with a spoon.

“I’m so stupid, Garrison. I’m so mad at Autumn. I should have just walked home.”

“You could have called me.”

“You were going to bed. I didn’t want to mess up your drive to college.”

“I’m pissed as hell at Autumn, Cannon and Ryan. They shouldn’t have put you in that situation.”

“I was just trying to get back home. I was so happy after our night together. We had such a great night.”

“And it all could have been taken from us if you wouldn’t have survived this. I would have never asked you to meet me if I knew you were sneaking out, Reese. I would have come to you.”

She started crying again, and I felt helpless. “Don’t cry. It’s all done now. You are okay and that’s all that matters.”

“But what if I’m not…”

“That’s not an option, Reese. You will be okay.”

I got up and sat beside her in the bed, holding her hand with one arm and putting my other around her as much as possible. I started to sing the words that I had hoped she wanted to hear.

When you love a girl from a distance, you want to touch her cheek so badly, bring her close when she is suffering, and protect her from heartache. Be the only one that gets to love her and promise her a forever.

Dreaming of a future with her that won’t exist when my mask falls and she sees the real me because you I am not half as good as she is. Maybe this one girl can heal my stubborn heart and teach me love is worth it. Because in the end, baby, all my heart wants is you and me. You are it for me, always were and always will be.

She muttered trying to stop her crying and catch her breath, “I will never get tired of hearing that song, Garrison.”

“I love you, Reese, more than I have ever loved anyone.”

Her sweet voice replied, “I love you too. I always have.”

I kissed her hand that I was holding. “I love hearing you say that.”

“I will never stop saying it.”

Her crying slowed down and she started to smile through the tears that were still streaking her beautiful face. Her breathing became normal, and I continued touching her face softly to relieve her and soothe her.

She had finally gone to sleep so I carefully got up off the bed and walked out of the room.

~ ~ ~

I walked out and down the sterile hallway towards the waiting room. Mr. and Mrs. Owens met me at the door as I was walking in. “How was your visit?”

“It was good, all considering.”

“Did she seem like the medicine was starting to wear off?”

“Yes, ma’am, it did. She feels really bad about what happened. She is so bruised and looks like she is in so much pain… She finally fell asleep so I wanted to let her sleep for a while.” Then I lost it. I broke down in the waiting room not caring who witnessed it. I slouched over and put my hands on my knees and cried.

“I feel so guilty… I love her so much and I can’t take her pain away. I can’t do anything to make it better.”

Mr. Owens tried to comfort me. I felt him put his hand on my shoulder. “Garrison, son, none of us can. This had nothing to do with you. You have to be strong for her just as we do. That is the only thing that is going to help right now.”

I stood back up and wiped my face with my hands.

“I know she was just put in a bad situation. I had no idea she was sneaking out to meet me and I would have never left her if I would have known Autumn, Cannon and Ryan were staying longer. I had no idea the guys would get so drunk they would need a ride home.”

“Reese will have some consequences to face but right now we are just glad she is going to be okay and the surgery went as smoothly as it did. We got really lucky. She will have an uphill battle recovering but we will get through it. The thought of us losing one of our children is not something I can handle. They are too important. You will understand one day,” Mrs. Owens said.

“I hope I do one day. I’m going to step out and get some fresh air. I’d like to go sit with her again. I need to go out and try to see what I can do about missing a couple days of school.”

“Oh that’s right, I wanted to tell you congratulations on getting in at Texas State.”

“Thank you, sir. Although with Reese being in this accident I don’t want to be away from her.”

“You can’t miss school for this,” Mr. Owens announced.

“I can’t be away from her… not like this….”

“Let’s just take it one day at a time,” Mrs. Owens said calmly. You can tell she is the calm one in the family. I wondered if that is how Reese would be in the future or if I would be the calm one.

Reese

Garrison just left the room and I knew my parents would be coming in soon.

I was so tired but was trying to keep my eyes open to talk to them. I wanted to tell them how sorry I was.

I started to nod off when I felt Mom’s hand on my forehead and then a kiss.

“Mom…”

“Hey sweetie.”

“I’m so sorry. I know I let you down.”

“Let’s not talk about that now. Let’s just get you better and then we will talk about everything. All that matters right now is you’re okay.”

“I just wanted to see Garri…”

Dad spoke up, “Reese, we have always liked Garrison. We could tell he was a good kid and liked you. We probably knew he liked you before you realized it. If you would have just asked us we could have figured something out.”

I shook my head.

“But instead you risked your life and this all could have ended in a different way. You could have died, Reese. This wasn’t something that could have been fixed. You were bleeding inside your body…”

“That’s enough right now, Carl. There will be plenty of time to sort everything out.”

“Natalie is ready to come see you so I’m gonna bring her up on the next visiting hours. I love you, Reese. I hope you don’t ever doubt that. You were my first little bear and I will thank God for the rest of my life that he let you stay here with us.”

“I love you, Daddy.”

Chapter 16

Reese

I have been home for a month recovering. I have a long road ahead of me and will have injuries that will remind me of my bad choices for the rest of my life. I have scars from my surgery and pain in parts of my body I otherwise wouldn’t have. Garrison was at my side the entire time in the hospital. He and my parents shared time so I was never alone for a minute at the hospital. Garrison even helped me brush my teeth and my hair. Every day he was there he showed me so much love that I knew without a doubt he was the guy I wanted forever.

He tells me daily how much he loves me and that he knew he was going to love me from the first time he saw me. Garrison says he has loved me longer so his love is stronger than mine for him. I laugh letting him pretend to be right but I knew he was wrong. I loved him far more.

This summer will be a recovery for me instead of getting ready for my junior year in high school. I’ll be grounded until I graduate or that is at least how it feels. I won’t be able to dance on the Pantherettes until I am recovered enough, which may not be until second semester.

Autumn is scared to drive so she doesn’t anymore. She got her license suspended so it’s for the better. She has been spending her days around my house trying to wait on me and make up for everything. She feels guilty and lost.

Ryan dumped her right after the wreck, breaking her heart. He had already moved onto another girl. I hated to tell her I told her so, but I did. She was in this huge rush to do everything, a race against time and look where it got her. All her firsts were given to someone that had already moved on.

Garrison was his usual amazing self. He was able to talk to the dean and they have allowed for him to start back up in the fall rather than the summer session. I begged him not to do it because of me, but he wouldn’t listen. He wanted to be by my side. The original plan was he was going to live in the dorms but when everything happened to me he didn’t want to be that far away. I didn’t want him that far away either. He got an apartment that is halfway between here and Texas State so he isn’t that far from me. Maybe fifteen minutes at the most.

He spends every moment he can with me. I have been a little stir crazy not able to leave the house other than for therapy but when he is here it makes it all better.

We have gone over that night a million times. We talk about the good times, and why he wouldn’t tell me what he was feeling for me earlier. It felt good to know what I was feeling he was too. He just was afraid. It still renders me speechless that he thought he was not good enough for me. He is the best there is.

Although I was ordinary, to Garrison I was much more. I thought he was amazing and I was right. I just had to let him see I could see it. If only he could have seen what I saw when I looked at him, through my eyes. He wanted ordinary and in return gave me extraordinary. After all, he did know how to love, and I was the only lucky girl to receive it. Together we were nothing but exceptional.