An Unexpected Attraction (Love Unexpected Book 3) (12 page)

“Hey, what’s up? Miss me already?”

“Hardly,” Brenda said. “Do you have time to talk?”

“Sure. What’s going on? Something wrong?” The inflection in her voice went higher at the end.

“Nothing to panic about, but I…I need to tell you something.”

“Okaaaay.”

Brenda swallowed, apprehension in her stomach. “You have to promise not to tell anyone what I’m about to tell you.”

“This sounds serious.”

Brenda flicked the indicator to merge into the left lane between a truck and a sedan. “It is. Do you promise?”

“Of course.”

She took a deep breath and blurted the words. “I have feelings for Jay.”

“Jay who?”

“Jay.”

“Our Jay? As in, Jacopo Santorini who we had drinks with tonight?”

Hearing her use his real name made Brenda laugh, especially since Sophie pronounced it incorrectly, as so many people did. That’s why he preferred to be called Jay.

“It’s Yah-koh-po,” she said. “And yes, that’s who I’m talking about.”

“Back up. What am I missing? Where did this come from all of a sudden?”

“I’m about to tell you something, but it’s complicated. I need to tell someone or I’ll go nuts.” Her fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “Jay and I had a—moment, I guess you could call it—years ago, when he and Jenna were dating. Over the course of our friendship, Jay and I developed feelings for each other. I don’t even know how it happened—gradually, I suppose, but he was with her.”

“Are you saying you and Jay…?”

“No, we never had sex.”

“So what happened?”

Brenda decelerated and allowed a car to pull in front of her. “We kissed…and a little more than that.” She wanted to bare her soul but wasn’t ready to give all the details. “To further complicate things, I have a secret to tell you about me and Nick.”

“Oh shit. What?”

“I had sex with Nick.” She winced, waiting for the fallout.

“
What
? And you never told me?”

“It happened a long time ago.” Brenda shifted in her seat, trying to get more comfortable with her confessions. It actually felt good to finally tell someone. “Nick and I had sex the night Jay and Jenna got married in Italy. It was a beautiful location and romantic and maybe I felt a little broken-hearted.”

“You mean because of Jay? You had feelings for him way back then?” Sophie asked.

“A little.” She sighed. “A lot. In fact, the reason I had sex with Nick was because of my feelings for Jay.”

“You have to explain that.”

Brenda thought for a moment. “When I first met Jay, I was attracted to him immediately. It was completely unexpected. But I convinced myself my attraction to him was no big deal and would eventually go away. Unfortunately, it never went away and only increased the more time I spent around him. Having those feelings had felt like a betrayal of my friendship with Jenna. Then one night, he confessed to having feelings for me, too, and he kissed me. We kissed each other.”

“Wow. Where was I? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I couldn’t tell you. I couldn’t tell anyone. I felt awful because I enjoyed it so much, and because…you know…Jenna. Plus her father had gotten me that internship at his magazine. How could I betray my friend in that way?”

“So what happened afterward?” Sophie asked gently.

“We pretended it never happened, but of course I never forgot. Then the next thing I knew, he and Jenna were engaged. So…” Her voice trailed off as she recalled the pain of seeing her friend wave the large diamond under her nose. The jealousy she’d felt at the time had been almost unmanageable. “I know it’s no excuse, but we were in Italy with wine flowing like water. And when Nick came to my room, he was funny and sweet, and we…I think we were both looking for something that night. We slept together the night of the wedding, after Jay and Jenna left for Paris. I regretted it the next morning, but Nick told me he loved me. I crushed his spirits and told him it was a mistake.”

“Ouch.”

“Believe me, the conversation was awful. He looked devastated.”

“And then what?” Sophie prompted. “What finally happened?”

“He left my room. When we saw each other later, I asked him not to tell anyone. I don’t know why it mattered, but I didn’t want Jay to find out. Silly right? Considering he’d just married Jenna, and I was the maid of honor in the wedding. For about a month afterward, things were awkward between me and Nick. But he eventually called and we went to dinner. He insisted that he didn’t mean to tell me he loved me. He’d gotten caught up in the wedding and the beautiful location.”

“Did you believe him?”

Brenda thought for a moment. “No, but he’d wanted us to go back to the way our relationship had been before, and he’d promised he hadn’t told anyone and wouldn’t.” She’d been relieved. “After the way he was behaving tonight, I’m pretty sure he still has feelings for me.” Brenda pulled into the driveway next to Mrs. Chen’s car but remained in her vehicle. “If I pursue a relationship with Jay—”

“Are you saying you want to?” Sophie asked. “Because I have to be honest, the tension between the two of you was noticeable tonight.”

“You noticed?”

“Yeah. He definitely has feelings for you, too, Brenda.”

She rested the back of her head against the seat. “This is purely hypothetical. If I pursue a relationship with Jay, then there are two people who could get hurt. Or at the very least, it would be an awkward situation.”

“As far as Nick is concerned, he doesn’t have dibs on your vagina because he had sex with you first. Besides, he’s been married
three
times. Although, now it makes sense why none of his marriages lasted. Sounds like the first one, at least, was a rebound marriage, sort of an
I’ll-show-you-I-don’t-love-you marriage
, which ended in a disaster.”

Nick’s first marriage had lasted a little over two years before his wife filed for divorce, accusing him of mental anguish, among other damage. He’d been married two more times, and both marriages had also ended in divorce, though more amicably.

“Then there’s Jenna,” Sophie said thoughtfully.

“Her father’s the reason I’m the entertainment editor at the
ER
. He gave me an internship in college, and thanks to his connections, I landed the assistant editor job at the magazine in Chicago. None of that would have happened if Jenna hadn’t spoken to her father on my behalf.”

“If you owe anyone it’s him, not her. But just like Nick doesn’t have dibs on your vagina, Jenna doesn’t get ownership of Jay’s penis for the rest of his life. I’ve told you that before.”

“It’s not a good situation to be in, Sophie. If Jay and I get together, we could potentially hurt Nick
and
Jenna, and there’s no doubt in my mind I’d lose their friendships. If a relationship with Jay doesn’t work out, or if I tell him about me and Nick, I may lose him, too. And…” Her throat tightened. The nighttime darkness suddenly felt more oppressive. She’d already lost Jay to some degree but feared the finality that would come if he learned about her and Nick.

“
And,
that’s the real issue, isn’t it?” Sophie asked quietly.

Brenda didn’t answer, but Sophie was right. She was afraid that if Jay found out about her and Nick, he wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her.

“This is like one of those TV shows where all the characters have slept together at one point or another. Like “Friends” or one of those medical shows. I don’t know the names, but I’m sure you know what I’m talking about.” Sophie didn’t have a television and thought it was a travesty to waste time watching shows which were, simply, time wasted in her opinion.

“Gee, thanks.”

“Sorry.” Sophie inhaled sharply. “Wait a minute, if I’d hooked up with Jay, being that you like him, that would have been awkward.”

“Yes, it would have been.”

“You would have hated me,” Sophie said.

“Probably. Now you see my dilemma.”

Sophie laughed at her candor. “Oh sweetie, I know this isn’t easy, but what are you gonna do? Not be happy because of some sense of loyalty toward Jenna? Or because of some sense of guilt toward Nick?”

Brenda gnawed her lip. “I don’t know what to do, Sophie. Am I crazy? Am I overthinking this?”

“You can’t always be the good guy. Sometimes you have to do the not-so-nice thing and think about yourself for a change. People do it every day.”

“I’m not that person. I couldn’t face myself in the mirror.” Even now she felt numb and empty at the thought of hurting her friends.

“Tell me something, was it good with Jay?”

“Sophie!”

“Not in a sick, give-me-all-the-details kind of way, although you could if you want to.” She snickered. “Let me rephrase. What I meant to say is, has anyone ever made you feel the way he does?”

Even before their first kiss—more than a kiss, as he’d pointed out—there had always been something between them. Their unmentionable secret had never been mentioned, but on rare occasions, he would look at her in a way that suggested he remembered, like she did. She’d had boyfriends and lovers, and after a time the rolling boil of passion had decreased to a slow simmer. But having Jay as a constant in her life all these years had ensured she never forgot.

“I’ve had good and bad relationships,” Brenda said, “and I’ve been very happy in a couple of them.”

“But has anyone ever made you feel the way that Jay does?”

There were plenty of eligible men in the world. Thousands. Millions. Surely she could find one as charismatic as Jay. The fact that she hadn’t yet didn’t mean he didn’t exist.

Nonetheless, sadness filled her heart. She was torn, and she shook her head in answer even though Sophie couldn’t see her. “No. No one’s ever made me feel the way that Jay does.”

Chapter
Twelve

Two other people received their vehicles before the valet arrived with Jay’s Mercedes. When the valet pulled up with the SUV, both he and Nick hopped in.

“You okay, buddy?” Nick asked, putting on his seatbelt.

“Why do you ask?”

“You’ve been acting strange since I arrived yesterday.”

“I’m good.
Perfetto
.”
Jay pulled out of the parking lot. Nick was staying at a hotel near the airport. Jay should have let Sophie drop him home to save himself the trip south.

“You don’t sound good,” Nick said.

“Well, I am.”

They drove for several miles in complete silence. Nick fiddled with the air conditioner vent and moved around restlessly. Obviously he had something on his mind.

“What is it, Nick?”

“Am I that obvious?”

“Yes.”

Nick glanced at Jay. “I’m crazy about her.”

Jay’s hands tightened on the steering wheel. “I guess you’re talking about Brenda?”

“Yes.”

Even though he’d guessed, the declaration still surprised him. “Are you serious?” he asked, to make sure.

Nick ran long fingers through his dark hair. “Yeah. I’m in love with her.” He spoke in a forlorn voice and his expression was downright pitiful.

In love
?

Jay opened his mouth to speak and then closed it. The collar on his shirt felt restrictive all of a sudden, and he unfastened the top button. “I had no idea you felt this way. Does Brenda know?”

Nick shook his head. Even in the darkness of the vehicle, Jay saw his face coloring in embarrassment. “She has no idea. If she knew, she’d probably cut all ties with me.”

“Why do you say that?”

“You know Brenda. She’s got a big heart. She would feel guilty and want me to move past my stupid crush, and she’d cut me off to make sure I did.”

Jay silently agreed that sounded like something she’d do. Hell, she’d cut him off because of the way he felt about her, although the situation was a little different. “Don’t you think you should maybe…do that, though? Get past it?”

A bitter laugh came from Nick. “Easier said than done. While I was in Europe, she and I talked every now and again.”

“You called her?”

“To check on her, and to catch her up on what I was doing. To be honest, it was completely selfish. The sound of her voice always brightened my day.”

“You never told me you were calling her.” Brenda had never told him either.

“It’s no big deal, but it made having feelings for her harder to deal with. You have no idea how hard it’s been for me.”

Not true. He did have some idea, actually.

“She’s everything I want, and I wonder if I didn’t destroy any chance with her with all of my marriages.” He ran a hand down his face. “At least when she lived in Chicago we could hang out. We’d get together for lunch or dinner or catch a show or something. Now that she’s here, I’ll never see her anymore.”

In all honesty, Jay didn’t know what to say to Nick’s confession. He ran a hand over his jaw and let out a puff of air. “Tell you what, I’ll come up to Chicago and we’ll have a guys’ night out. How’s that? We’ll party, get drunk, and screw a bunch of women.”

That prescription had worked for him ten years ago after he and Jenna divorced. The more women he’d slept with, the better he’d felt about himself.

Nick remained silent and stared straight ahead. “I’ve already screwed a bunch of women. It hasn’t helped.”

“Listen—”

“I haven’t been with as many women as you, of course, but lately, every time I’m with a woman, Brenda’s face is the one I see. I have to face reality. I won’t be happy until I can have her again. And I plan to convince her we should become a couple.” He looked at Jay, determination in his eyes. Jay thought he saw challenge there, too.

“How are you going to do that?” A vein throbbed in the left corner of his head, threatening a massive headache.

“I don’t know, but I’m going to do it,” Nick said. “And I could use your help.”

“
My
help? Whatever you have in mind, count me out.”

“Don’t you want to hear what I have to say first? I don’t need you to do anything except keep an eye on her.”

“Are you kidding me? No way,” Jay said with vehemence. “No way I’m keeping tabs on Brenda for you.”

“I’m not asking you to bug her phone,” Nick said. He shifted to face Jay. “Just…let me know if she gets involved with anyone. If there’s any competition. I can’t keep an eye on her from Chicago.”