An Unexpected Love (Women's Fiction/BWWM Romance) (20 page)

A hint of rosemary and lamb hit David’s nose when he walked
into the dimly lit living room that night. A table sat in the middle of the
floor covered by a luxurious, red tablecloth. A vibrant, floral centerpiece sat
in the middle of the table next to a bottle of red wine. Low music played in
the background. Thin, red cloth shielded the lamps to give the room an auburn
glow.

Valerie twisted into the room with two wine glasses.
She wore that white, sheer nightgown he bought her last year for their
anniversary before things had gotten so out of hand.

 
“You’re home.”

She smiled brighter than she had in months. That
twinkle she used to have when she looked at him had claimed her eyes again. Her
creamy, tan skin glowed underneath the auburn lighting.

The nightgown perfectly accented her sensuous shape
and the movement of her hips. It had been so long since he’d not been afraid to
be alone with her for fear of another argument.

“I’ve missed you.” She set the glasses on the table.
“Let me take this for you.” She took his briefcase and set it beside the wall.
“I’ll take this for you too.” She slid his blazer off him. “You smell good.”

“Thanks…uh…” He raised an eyebrow. “What’s going on?”

“I’m fixing your favorite: lamb chops.” She leaned to
the side far enough for him to see
all
the way up her thighs underneath the see-through material. “And I’m wearing
your favorite nightgown.” She turned around. “I hope I do it justice.”

 
“Oh.” A lump
caught in his throat. “Believe me, you definitely do. But I’m confused as to
what’s the occasion.”

“It’s David Night.”

“David Night?”

“Yeah.” She stood close to him and put her arms around
his waist. “Every week, we’re gonna have some David time.” She kissed his cheek
and brought her soft lips down his neck. “I’m gonna use that time…to make
you…feel special.” She tugged on his collar. “It’s because you deserve it, and
because I’m sorry I’ve been making you feel like you didn’t matter.”

He gaped.

“When I said I’d pick a baby over you, I didn’t mean
it.” She touched his cheek. “A baby would mean nothing without you. I love
you.”

She kissed him.

“I love you too.” He swept his hands under her hair. “I’ve
been thinking. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so rigid when it came to the
procedure. It’s just that…”

“
Shh
.” She laid her finger
on his lips. “We’re not getting into that tonight.”

“But I don’t want you to think it’s not as important
to me as it is to you. Val, you’re my life. I want a baby with you as much as
you want to be pregnant. I want us to be a family and be together forever.”

“I know.” She hugged him. “I’m gonna stop trying to
control the situation though. I’m gonna let things happen naturally.” She
lifted her head from his chest. “I want a baby, but I’d still be happy without
one.”

“What brought on this revelation?” He scooped up her
hands. “You sound like the old Val again.”

“I went to see Corrine, and she clarified some things
me. She told me about last night.”

“Val…”

             
She
lifted his tie, saying, “It’s okay.”

“I swear that nothing happened.” He sighed. “I came on
to her, but I never wanted her like I want you. She was just someone there who
gave me what you didn’t.”

“I know.” She kissed him. “Corrine and I have decided
to start over, and we’re gonna go to counseling together.”

“Counseling?”

She nodded.

“Oh that’s wonderful, babe.” He held her tight. “I’m
so proud of you. I just want us to be happy again.” He twirled her around. “You
know what?”

“What?”

She moved her hand down his shirt. “Feels like old
times, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, it does.”

“Remember when we first met?” He led the dance. “We
danced all night long. I remember looking into your eyes and just wanting to
dive into them because I loved how you looked at me.”

“I’ve missed being close to you, David. I need you.”

“You got me.” He hoisted her into his arms. “You got
me right now, Val.”

“David.” She laughed. “Put me down. The food might
burn.”

“Let it burn, baby!” He ran out the room and to the
stairs. “Let it burn!”

****

Three Weeks Later

Patrick answered his front door. “Hello, Layla.” He
switched his eyes to Cross. “What’s he doing here?”

“He’s my friend,” she said. “You should get used to
seeing him.”

The men exchanged glares.

“I just wanna check on Shanti.” Layla took her purse
off her shoulder. “I didn’t come here to argue.”

Patrick stood close enough for his breath to brush her
face. “How are you holding up?”

 
“How do you
think I’m holding up?” She moved back. “I’m worried about Shanti night and
day.”

“No…I mean…” He gestured to her. “Are
you
okay?”

“Oh, you mean do I think I’m gonna crack because of
this?” She faked a smile. “I’m no psychic, but I think I can deal with some
things without having an episode, Patrick.”

“Damn, Layla. Don’t you realize how much I still care
and will always care?”

She and Cross walked in as she told Patrick, “Shanti
needs to come home. She’s been here long enough.”

 
“It’s not my
decision.” Patrick closed the door. “No one’s forcing her to stay here.”

“But I don’t understand why she feels she can’t come
home.” Layla fought tears. “Is it because of
Liyah
?
Me? Does she blame us?”

“She’s been through something we couldn’t imagine,”
Patrick said. “There are no instructions for dealing with this. We just gotta
be there for her.”

“You love this, don’t you?” She held her purse to her
side. “It makes you happy that you look like the great parent, and I look like
a fuck up.”

“For the last time, Shanti
wants
to stay here.” Patrick huffed. “Don’t take it out on me
because your daughter doesn’t wanna be around you.”

Layla fought the urge to smack him. “I’m not gonna let
you get to me today. I wanna see my daughter.”

Patrick blocked her. “We need to talk.”

Cross stood closer to him, perhaps to remind Patrick of
his presence.

“We don’t have anything to talk about,” Layla said.
“All I wanna do is see Shanti and leave.”

“We don’t have anything to talk about?” Patrick asked.
“Am I supposed to believe that?”

“I don’t care what you believe.” She clenched her
teeth. “Now please
move
.”

“You heard her,” Cross said.

Patrick stuck his head in the air and moved aside.

Layla and Cross went upstairs to the guest bedroom.

“Shanti?” Layla called as she lightly knocked. “It’s Momma.
Are you sleeping? May I come in?”

She didn’t answer, so Layla cracked the door open.

Shanti rested in bed. Her eyes were still looking at
that beige wall with the same expression she had every time Layla visited her.

“You wanna be alone with her?” Cross asked.

“No, it’s okay.” Layla stood beside the bed. “You’ve
been here three weeks, Shanti. I’m tired of coming here to visit you. I miss
you and want you home.”

Shanti flicked a strand of wavy hair out of her face.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Layla sobbed. “Do you
understand that?” She bent down to her. “I want you to get out of this bed
right now and live your life.”

She wriggled under the cover.

“Get up.” Layla ripped the sheet off Shanti and threw it
on the floor. “Get out of that bed and snap out of this!”

Patrick walked into the room.

“I’m not gonna let you do this to yourself anymore.”
Layla hauled Shanti out of bed. “I’m not going to let you be a prisoner to
this.”

Shanti moved like a limp doll in Layla’s arms.

“Look at me.” Layla shook her. “Look at me, damn it!”

Cross reached for her. “Layla?”

 
“No, she has to
snap out of this!” Layla shook her again. “This isn’t you, Shanti. You’re
stronger than this. You’ve always been strong.” She hugged her. “I miss you. I
miss your spirit. I miss that beautiful, positive light in my life. Please.”
She rocked her. “Just because you were raped it doesn’t mean you can’t have a
life. Say something.” She tugged on Shanti’s hands. “Say something, damn it!”

“That’s enough.” Patrick pulled Shanti away from Layla.
“She has to do things when she’s ready.”

“No!” Layla wailed as Patrick helped Shanti into bed.

“She’s not living, so she might as well be dead!”
Layla cried into her hands. “I can’t see her like this anymore.”

“Layla.” Patrick gripped Layla’s arms. “Listen—”

“No.” She wiggled free of his hold. “You’re crippling her.”

A vein popped out of his forehead. “I’m not crippling
her.”

 
“Yes, you are.”
She pointed to the bed. “You’re enabling this. You’re making her think it’s
okay for her to be lying up in this bed.”

“We have to be patient, Layla. I thought you of all people
would understand that.”

“Depression is a sickness, Patrick,” she whispered. “I
know what a sickness looks like. I’ve dealt with it all my life. She can’t let
this control her. She has to get on with her life.” Layla moved from around
Patrick. “You got to, Shanti. Don’t let Khalil take your life away. Don’t give
him that kind of power.”

Shanti’s expression slightly changed. Layla could only
hope it was because her words hit home.

“I love you.” Layla rubbed Shanti’s hair. “You were
always the one keeping me together. Please, baby.” She kissed her cheek.
“Please, don’t let what happened break you.”

“I…don’t know how to live any…anymore.” Shanti sobbed.
“I don’t know how.”

“You do know how.” Layla sat on the bed. “The first
step is dealing with it. You can’t stay in this room forever. Do you even wanna
live?”

Shanti wiped her damp cheek. “I don’t know.”

Cross and Layla entered into his living room after dinner.
He did his Southern roots proud with his version of chicken fried steak, gravy,
mashed potatoes, and cream corn. Layla rubbed her tight belly, stuffed from the
amazing dinner, and sat on the couch.

Cross turned on some music.

If only she hadn’t been worried about Shanti every
five minutes, she’d be able to let loose and enjoy herself. But she felt
herself slipping into that stressful state that usually preluded some type of
episode, and she couldn’t let that happen.

Cross slow danced to the couch.

She grinned.

No, she couldn’t slip backwards when things had
finally gotten into place.

Cross held out his hands. “Wanna dance?”

 
“Dance?” She
groaned. “After that meal I can barely walk. You’re gonna have to tow me
outta
here.”

He laughed and sat beside her. “You could stay the
night.” He swept his hand underneath her hair and kissed her. “It’s weird that
we haven’t made love yet. We’ve played around and done some things, but not
‘it’ yet.” He touched her thigh. “Can you believe that with as much as we want
each other?”

Believe it?
It’s the other thing I’ve been thinking about besides Shanti. But it won’t
happen until I can concentrate on you fully like you deserve. I can’t do that
right now.

“It’s not because I don’t want you.” She slipped her fingers
into his. “I’ve had so much on my mind lately.”

“That’s why I didn’t wanna bring it up.” He slipped
his arm around her. “I want you more than I’ve wanted anyone, but I didn’t
wanna rush you.” He kissed her cheek. “I don’t mind waiting.”

She chuckled. “Men always say that but never mean it.”

“Okay, I don’t
wanna
wait.” He rolled his eyes with a smile. “But I want it to happen when
you’re truly ready.” He slipped his finger under her chair and kissed her.
“I’ll be here whenever the time is right.”

“I just…I haven’t been with a man other than Patrick
since high school.” She fidgeted. “The idea of being with someone new sexually
is kind of overwhelming.”

“I understand.”

 
“I know it
sounds strange since we’ve done
some
things,
but intercourse is different.” She sighed. “I still haven’t fully gotten into
the groove of being divorced. It’s a huge adjustment, especially for women.
Patrick handled many things for the household, and I gotta get used to doing
that now. For example, my bathroom sink is backed up. Patrick usually called
the repair people or fixed things around the house.” She swept her hair from
her face. “It got me to thinking how much he actually took care of, and maybe I
didn’t always appreciate it.”

“I’m sure you showed your appreciation all the time.”
He stroked her hair. “Besides, if you need a sink fixed…” He tapped his chest.
“I’m your man. I can check it out.”

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” She pinched his chin,
feeling the fine hairs of his five o’clock shadow. “There’s nothing you can’t
do.”

“Please.” He scoffed.

“Well, there doesn’t seem to be.” She shrugged. “Look
at how you went right back to teaching as if you never left. I wish I could be
like that.” She wiggled her foot. “I’m beginning to ‘feel’ again, and I see
it’s not always a good thing.”

“What do you mean you’re beginning to ‘feel’ again?”

“Toward the end of my marriage, I felt numb. I was
just going with the flow, like a robot. I’d become detached, and now it’s like
my circulation is coming back.” She jiggled. “I can feel emotions again. I’m
living again.”

He smiled.

“I love it,” she said. “But at the same time, I’m
finding it hard to concentrate on some things because my mind is cluttered.”
She touched her head. “I’m feeling the pressure at work. I’m not saying I can’t
handle it, but I’m remembering how stressful it can be sometimes. But mainly
it’s Shanti.” She propped her foot on the coffee table. “I miss her so much,
Cross. We were so close before this. She was probably my best friend.”

He guided her head to his shoulder.

“Before I met you, Shanti seemed to be the only person
who really understood me. She’s so smart. I could open up to her—like she was
someone my age, or like she’d gone through the same stuff too.”

“That’s a precious gift to have such a bond with your
child.”

“And you think
I’m
strong? I’m nothing compared to Shanti. She can hold the world on her
shoulders and keep stepping. She used to help Patrick with everything when I’d
be in and out of Wellington. She’s the one always holding the family together
and making sure everything is okay. That’s why she’s so protective of
Liyah
. You’d think she was the older child. You know what
her name means?”

Cross felt her hair. “Uh-uh.”

“Peace. Shanti means peace.” Layla lifted her head.
“And that’s what she does…she keeps the peace. She’s the one who pulls
everything for our family in line. Without her, everything’s crumbling. It
kills me to think of her soul dying. I want her to get out of that bed and be
who she really is.”

“Do you think that maybe she won’t ever be who she was
before?”

 
“I hate that
boy.” She balled a fist. “I hate how he stole her light. Who does he think he
is that he can just violate my baby and walk away like it’s nothing while she’s
tearing apart?”

“The police still can’t find him?”

 
“His momma
claims he ran off, and she doesn’t know where he is. I don’t wanna talk about
him.” She actually felt a bitter taste in her mouth from thinking about Khalil.
“Everything about him makes me sick, and I’ve never even seen the boy.”

“Let’s concentrate on us now.” He stood. “Let’s
dance.”

“I can’t do this, Cross.” She sat on the edge of the
sofa.

 
“Oh yes, you
can.” He pointed to her. “We’ve danced many times before, so I know for a fact
that you can.” He laughed.

“No, I mean…” She clasped her hands. “I can’t do
this
right now…
us
.”

The brightness that usually shined when he looked at
her, faded. “What are you talking about?”

 
“I’m being
emotionally pulled in many directions, and I don’t wanna have too much on my
plate. I want to be able to give you all of me, and I can’t do that now.”

“Yes you can.” He sat down and took her hand. “You
give me enough. I’m not complaining.”

“You should be complaining. I feel like I take up our
time together with all my issues.”

“You don’t, Layla. I don’t care what we talk about. I
just love being with you anytime I can be.”

“I feel the same. I’m in love with you, Cross. But
sometimes that’s not enough.”

He swallowed loudly. “Love is always enough.”

“I’m afraid that I might have another breakdown or
something, and I’ve just gotten things back on track. There’s just too much
going on right now.”

“That’s why you need me. Layla, come on.” He pulled
her close. “I need you just as much. Just like I helped you, you helped me. You
were right about me hiding at the center. Hell, you’re the reason I faced my
fear of coming back into the real world. I came out to be with you. Nothing
else matters to me.”

She held in tears. “It’s so hard to walk away.”

“Why do you need to walk away?” He jumped up. “I don’t
understand. You need me more than ever now. This is when we should be getting
closer, not farther apart.”

“It’s too much right now.” She laid her hand on her
cheek. “I need to concentrate on everything else that’s going on, and I can’t
do that and be with you.”

“You don’t wanna see me anymore?”

“I wanna see you more than anything.” She stood. “I
love spending time with you. But I can’t breathe, Cross.”

“You said I help you to relax and forget about
everything, so why are you pushing me away? You need me to help you.”

“I want to be with you without having all this other
stuff going on.” She walked to the back of the couch. “It’s getting to be too
much pressure. I’m sure you understand.”

“Oh?” He turned off the stereo. “You’re sure I
understand because I’m always so understanding, right? Well I don’t understand,
Layla. I think you’re being a fool.”

“A fool? Wait, who do you think you’re talking to?”

“You.” He pointed. “Since we met, we’ve both done
well. I’m not having spells, and you aren’t having episodes. It’s because we
help each other and support each other.”

“Cross, you can’t say we’ve not had those problems solely
because we’re together. As much as I wanna believe that, you know that’s a
fantasy.”

“We’re good for each other, Layla.” He grabbed her.
“Look at me. We’re starting a new world together.” He kissed her. “I thought I
made you happy.”

“You do.” She closed her eyes. “But I need a break
from something right now, and I can’t take a break from the rest of my life.”

He let her go.

“As much as I wanna be with you, I won’t sacrifice my
sanity for any man.” She walked back to the front of the couch. “I gotta do
what’s right for me. I need some time and we can…”

“Pick up where we left off?” His voice cracked. “I’m
supposed to just wait for you to fix up your life and then come back to me?”

“I…” Her eyes tingled from tears. “I was hoping you’d
wanna
wait.”

“I love you, Layla.” He lowered his head. “But if you
walk out on this, I don’t know if I can wait. Things aren’t so easy for me either,
but being with you makes everything worth it.”

“It’s because I care about you that I can’t do this
right now. It’s not fair for me to be with you with all that’s going on.”

“You’re doing this for me?” He grinned. “You’re
breaking my heart for me? You’re telling yourself that to feel like some saint,
Layla?”

“No. Why are you being like this?”

“Because I’m pissed!” He flung his arm. “I just found
you, and I don’t wanna lose you.”

“You’re not losing me. I just need time!”

“How
much
time?” he yelled. “Do you even know?”

She couldn’t think of a suitable answer. He ran his
fingers through his hair. “Then I guess there’s nothing left to say.”