An Unyielding Desire (After The End Book 2) (6 page)

*****

She spent four days in bed, until the persistent aches and pains had mostly disappeared. The bruises on her body had faded to yellow and brown splotches, and she no longer hurt between her legs when she had to use the chamber pot. Mina saw herself for the first time in the mirror and gasped in horror. It wasn’t a vanity thing. She just hadn’t realized a person could endure so much punishment. Her face still looked puffy, and her nose was swollen, though Emme hadn’t thought it was broken. Shane must have pulled some of his punches, because he had only given her the one broken bone. Of course he didn’t want her dead, just too frightened to tell anyone. That, and he’d been enraged that she had tried to stab him.

She stripped off her nightgown, eyeing her back and the other spots she couldn’t see with a normal inspection. Having seen most of her body in flashes the past few days didn’t prep
are her for the awful sight of all the marks presented at once. It was overwhelming. Bruises covered her back and ribs, left by his fists and feet. His hand marks on her thighs were a vivid reminder of the way he’d pried her legs apart and raped her a second time after the beating. She could still feel him on her.

It was too much, and she turned away from the mirror, keeping her gaze averted whenever she came close to seeing her reflection as she took a pan bath and dressed in outside clothes. The idea of facing everyone almost made her climb back into her bed and pull the covers over her head, but she knew she couldn’t do that. Every hand was necessary to make sure they had enough food for winter, so she had to get back to her everyday tasks. Besides, lying in bed, obsessing over what he had done,
and remembering every detail of the assault wasn’t helping her get over the attack.

Feeling nauseated from nerves, she went downstairs, glad to have caught a lull between meals. She brewed the tea her sister had made for her, determined not to miss a single cup. There would be no baby with Shane if she had to claw it out of her stomach herself.

After drinking the tea, she found her mom, who was inventorying their cache of canned goods in the pantry. Janie seemed surprised to see her, but gave her a quick hug before returning to counting the mason jars of tomatoes. “I didn’t expect you up and about yet, sweetie.”

“I know, but just lying there…well, it’s making it all worse.”

“Why don’t you sit down?”

Mina shook her head. “Nah, I need to move around a bit.”

“You want to make pies? We’ll need at least two for dinner, and I thought we’d made a big pot pie with the leftover chicken from last night. That should fill up everyone.”

“Sure.” Mina went back to the kitchen, starting the familiar task of making piecrusts. Hers
wasn’t anywhere as good as her mother’s, but she didn’t think anyone would turn it down. She was in the process of kneading the dough and rolling it out when the door opened. Without thought, Mina lifted the rolling pin like a club as someone entered the kitchen. Relief made her sag against the counter when she saw Coop. “Hi,” she said softly.

“Hey.”

He came to stand nearby, but not touching. Just his presence was soothing in a way no one else’s had been, and she had to resist the urge to step closer and lean against him. It would be too strange and awkward if she acted on the impulse.

“I wanted to check on you. I’ve been trying to every day for the last four, but your mom and sisters are like tenacious little Yorkshire terriers, nipping at my heels and driving me away.”

She gave him a pale smile at the imagery. “I asked for no visitors.”

“Oh, I didn’t know.” Without asking, he reached out to snatch an apple from the bowl farther down the counter.

“Hey, that’s for the pies,” she protested.

He took a big bite, giving her a grin. “You won’t tell, will you?”

The words were too close to some of the things Shane had said, and she closed her eyes, swaying as her breathing accelerated. Mina struggled for control, but couldn’t seem to escape the grip of the memories flooding through her.

“Mina, are you okay?”

She heard his voice, but wasn’t able to regain control until he touched her shoulder. With a deep, shuddering breath, she opened her eyes. Her pulse returned to normal gradually. “Okay,” she said softly. “Bad moment.”

He nodded, looking sympathetic. “I’m so sorry. If I hadn’t taken the time to get water, I would have been there to stop that animal.”

“Don’t think that way.” Mina put down the rolling pin, realizing she’d been gripping it until her knuckles turned white. “You can’t change what happened.”

“No, but we can keep it from happening again. Do you feel up to taking a walk?”

Slowly, she nodded, taking a moment to wipe her hands on the dishtowel. “I’ll have to hurry though, so these will be done for dinner.”

Mina followed him outside, surprised to find the beginning support
structures in place for a sturdy fence. One of the soldiers whose name she didn’t know was busy laying bricks, while the others strung wire in a different section.

“It won’t be pretty,” said Coop. “We couldn’t find enough supplies to make just one type, so it’s a mishmash of styles. Still, it should do the job and keep out the bad people.”

She nodded, but inside, her stomach churned, especially when she glanced at Shane, who was toiling away like the rest of them. Mina looked way quickly, but couldn’t force down the surge of fear. To her, the fence wasn’t going to keep the bad people out. It was just another way of keeping her trapped inside with the scariest person she had ever met.

Chapter Four

Sometime during the past few days, the group had expanded the seating in the kitchen, swapping out the old round table for a rectangular one that seated everyone. There were a variety of chairs, most of which didn’t match, but it gave the kitchen a homey feel. It would have been like a large family
gathering for a holiday, except she had the great misfortune of being seated across from Shane. At least Coop was on her right side, which provided some support.

“This is delicious, Mrs. Marsden,” said Shane, after he’d taken a big bite of the homemade chicken pot pie.

“Thank you, Shane, but the credit goes to Mina. She made most of the meal.”

He gave her a wink. “Delicious.”

She was probably the only one aware of the sexual undertone. Mina gave him a tight nod and tried to swallow the bite in her mouth. It tasted good, though not like Mom’s, but it just didn’t want to go down. Continuing to struggle, she sat quietly as the soldiers and her family discussed their immediate and long-term plans for keeping the farm safe. She tried to pretend that she wasn’t aware of the covert glances directed toward her, along with the pitying looks. Mina appreciated them feeling bad for her, but it didn’t change anything, and it just made her feel more like a victim.

Halfway through the meal, she was surprised to feel Coop’s hand on her thigh. She looked down at it and then up at him as he gave her a small squeeze.

“Try to eat something, Mina,” he said softly. “You need to rebuild your strength.”

She nodded, her throat clogged with unshed tears for a moment. When he started to move his hand, she acted on instinct, grasping it with her own and just holding it for a couple of minutes, drawing silent strength. When she let go to lift her fork, she found her appetite had returned slightly and managed to eat some of her serving.

“Sweet apple pie.” Shane made a production of licking his fork. “I haven’t had anything this tasty for a long time, ma’am.” His gaze lingered briefly on Mina before moving to her mother.

Janie
smiled. “Once again, you’ll have to thank Mina.”

He grinned. “I’ll do that.”

She shuddered, losing what little appetite she’d found. Mina set down her fork and slid away from the table. “Excuse me,” she murmured. Without waiting for a reply, she turned and left the kitchen, aware of the buzz of sympathetic conversation following in her wake. In her room, she slammed the door and beat her fists against her bed several times. It didn’t do much to help relieve the anger and fear coursing through her. It wasn’t right to have to sit across the table from Shane and pretend like he hadn’t violated her.

If she couldn’t tell anyone, she’d just have to kill the fucker
, she decided as she paced. That was the only alternative, right? Handle the problem herself and make it go away. After the things he’d done to her—and had threatened to keep doing, though she didn’t really expect him to follow through on that—she didn’t think it would be at all morally difficult to shoot or stab him. The problem was finding a way to do it, to catch him unawares and have a chance in hell of compensating for her lack of experience and his strength.

She paused in the middle of pacing, shocked to a standstill by the reality that she was plotting to murder someone. Had it really come to that? In this new world, could she count on anyone besides herself?

Immediately, an image of Coop came to mind, but she dismissed the idea before it could even fully form. She couldn’t tell him. For one thing, he was Shane’s friend and might not even believe the other man was capable of such a thing. If she did tell him, and he believed her, what would he do? Something rash, like run off and confront Shane? In a fight, which of them would win? Would Shane kill Coop? It seemed likely, if he really was as cold-blooded as his claims had suggested. That thought left an aching sensation in her chest.

Her pacing eventually caught up to her, and Mina’s meager energy reserve seemed to give way abruptly. She collapsed on the bed, curl
ed into a ball, and buried her face in the pillow. She hadn’t really cried yet, other than small bouts of tears here and there, and still the tears wouldn’t come. The release would surely be cathartic, but she couldn’t seem to get past whatever dam was blocking her emotions. The familiar sodden ball settled heavily in her chest as she eventually drifted into sleep.

*****

She found it fairly easy to avoid Shane for the next few days, in part due to the new plan of pairing up. No one was supposed to go anywhere unaccompanied, though she noticed the men often still went off on their own. However, none of the women had a chance to go anywhere by themselves. Since Coop was the one acting as her partner most times, she didn’t mind it at all.

It was a hot afternoon with
the women, except Dana, gathered in the kitchen to prepare some of the late-summer harvest for canning. Mina focused on her task, listening to the others without participating.

“When did this all become women’s work again?” asked Kelly. “Why the heck aren’t any of the men in this hot kitchen, boiling alive while canning?”

“Because they’re all out building fences and digging the trench for the escape tunnel,” said Chelle, pausing to pop a raw pea in her mouth. “Would you rather do that, Kelly? I imagine one of them would trade with you.”

“No, there’d be no trade,” said Lia with a sour expression. “That man would just insist on staying to act as Kelly’s freaking security detail.”
With ruthless precision, she peeled the skin off a tomato she’d removed from the boiling water and dunked in the cool water. “Can’t go any-freaking-where around here without somebody following you around.”

“It must put a cri
mp in your love life,” snapped Mina before she could stay the impulse.

Lia looked up, frowning. “What?”

Mina shook her head, not meeting her sister’s eyes.

“Well, I don’t mind it,” said Emme, “Especially if it’s Owen. He’s cute.” She giggled.

Kelly rolled her eyes. “You’re twenty-four and a college graduate, even if your degree was only naturopathy. That’s too old to be giggling like a teenager.”

Emme pelted her with a pea. “Kelly, you might be a certified genius, but your bachelor’s degree in engineering
isn’t going to be nearly as fun to cuddle up with at night as a warm male body, especially in our sucky new reality.”

Their mother smiled. “She has a point, dear. Lighten up.”

Kelly’s mouth gaped. “Mother!”

Janie
sighed. “You don’t think your father and I had five children by discussing the merits of French poetry every night, do you?” Poetry had been her mother’s college major when she met a third-generation farm boy one summer when her car broke down on a cross-country trip with some girlfriends. She had traded in poetry for cow pies, she liked to tell the girls, but hadn’t regretted it for a minute.

“Oh, that’s just gross. No one wants to hear about your sex life with Daddy.” Kelly was beet red.

“I don’t mind,” said Chelle cheerfully. “Mr. Marsden is prime real estate, ma’am.”

Janie
grinned. “He sure is.”

The other women laughed, except Kelly, who looked outraged. Mina managed a small chuckle, feeling more normal than she had for a while. So far, no one had given her a look of concern, or had the question in their eyes that they didn’t want to utter.
How are you coping?
Coping was a strong word, but she was enduring, focusing on getting through each day, sometimes broken down by hours, or even minutes.

“Coop seems to be your shadow,” said Emme, looking at her with a small smile.

Mina shrugged. “He’s nice.” He also didn’t demand anything from her. If she wanted to talk, he let her. If she wanted silence, he was content with that too. “He makes me feel safe,” she said softly. When she was with him, she didn’t spend every moment looking over her shoulder, wondering if Shane was going to try to attack her again.