Anais and the Broken War (The Blood Mage Chronicles Book 5) (18 page)

I COULDN’T TAKE my eyes off them as they danced. All of my annoyance at Cedric’s behavior drained away. I wanted to get drunk too. I wanted something to take away that feeling that my heart was being clawed out of my body by some vicious trick of fate.

Clara came out of nowhere in a dress with an impossibly low neckline, stomping up to them and stopping the flow of their steps. She put a hand on Azriel’s shoulder and whispered into his ear. Mediera stepped back, and Clara took her place in his arms. She pressed her body up to his and they danced in slow rhythmic steps. She was claiming her stake. I went rigid. I didn’t think it was possible, but this was worse. They stopped dancing and moved to stand near the table with the flowing champagne, mere inches away from me.

He handed her a glass, and she kissed him.

My heart tore apart. How could he let her kiss him? How could this be possible? I wanted to die. Why was I fighting? Why did any of it matter? I had to leave. I had to be anywhere that wasn’t here.

I turned around to give my excuses to Cedric, but he wasn’t standing near me anymore. I looked around. He was slumped next to an empty bench clutching a glass in his hand. He looked dismal.

“She’s dancing with Fynn. How could she?” Cedric sniffed. “It’s like she doesn’t care about me at all.”

There’s nothing quite so dire as seeing your fears and insecurities reflected in another person–especially in a miserable aching person.

“She cares. And you’re being ridiculous,” I told him, forcing the words out.

“No, no, no. I’m going to make him regret taking my girl.” He pulled himself awkwardly to his feet and tried to lunge past me.

“Cedric, no,” I grabbed his arm and pushed him away from the dance floor and back into the grass. As we struggled, we started to garner more than a little unwelcome attention, and I smiled awkwardly at the men and women who eyed us with curiosity.

“Let’s get you inside. I think anything you do right now will end in disaster.”

“Okay,” he murmured, deflating as he accepted my suggestion.

Although it was awkward, he leaned on me, and the two of us started to walk away from the courtyard to the darkened steps of the townhouse.
 

“It looks like you might need some help,” Thomas offered as he loped up and joined us.

“Thanks.” Gratefully, I let Thomas take over the task of shouldering Cedric. It didn’t seem much easier on him, as he had nowhere near Cedric’s mass.

Once we reached the entry, I took over management of Cedric, while Thomas fished a small brass key from out of his pocket. Cedric mumbled incoherent nonsense as Thomas opened the door.

“You should go back to the party,” Thomas told me as he pushed Cedric inside. “I’m going to see if I can get one of the servants to set up a bath. I wonder if they can manage it so late in the evening. I suppose I’ll find out.” He grimaced and closed the door in my face.
 

I didn’t want to go back to the party. I just wanted to disappear into the blackness of the night. For once, I wasn’t weighed down by worries over the war or over Uthur’s future. I was consumed with the present. I closed my eyes and sank against the wall of the townhouse. Perhaps I could just stay here until morning. No one would miss me.

“You aren’t sleeping are you?”

My eyes shot open. A man in a black velvet jacket with ornate silver buttons and short cropped dark hair stood before me, his dark eyes glinting. His angular features and hawkish nose were infinitely familiar. He looked every inch the lordling. He looked impossibly far away.

“What are you doing here?” I stammered.
 

“I live here. Or rather, I live three doors down.” He pointed to a door to one of the neighboring townhouses.

“I thought you would be in Farshire with your family.”

“They were here in Courtshire. Or rather, my father and brother were here. The lords’ council has been holding emergency sessions for quite some time.”

“Oh.”

“I thought you would be happier to see me. You look angry.”

I tried to fix my face into a smile, but I couldn’t.

“I saw Clara kiss you.”

He snorted. “She’s very determined to marry me.”

My jaw tightened and I glared at him.

He laughed. “Is that jealousy in your eyes?”

“You were kissing her,” I said again.

“I know. I’ve been walking on eggshells since I got here. Being the heir to a lordship makes you a target for every girl of marriageable age. Clara’s not even as bad as some of the sisters.”

“So while I’ve been fighting a war, you’ve been cavorting with pretty girls.”

“I’ve been doing more than that,” he said softly.

“I sent you here to be with your family.”

“You sent me here because I was inconvenient.”

“I was offering you your life back.” I rubbed my nose. “Which you have every right to live as you like. Shyte. I’m tired and I can’t think.”

“Ani, this is just a game.” He gestured to the courtyard. “By being the merry gallant young lordling I can gain invitations to dine with the lords in their homes. Not only can I vote however I want in the council sessions, but I can influence the other lords. Thomas is doing the same thing. We’ve actually accomplished quite a lot.”

“Shouldn’t your father be voting?”

“He went back to Farshire mere days after I arrived. He couldn’t leave fast enough. Justin’s not of age, so he can’t act as father’s voice, but I can.”

“Thomas said you plan on relinquishing your claim on your family seat,” I said, my voice softening.

“I told Thomas it was my father’s wish. But in truth, it was my idea. I came back to protect my little brother, only to find that he borders on hating me. In effect, I usurped his position. In three weeks, he turns eighteen, and I’ll make it official.”

“But, what will you do? Where will you go?”

“I had intended to go back to Barriershire and find you. But, now that you’re here, it appears I no longer have to make the trip.”

“You would have gone back?”

“Oh, Ani. Of course, I would have gone back. There’s no one else but you.”

From somewhere in the distance, bells rang triumphantly, and he took my face in his hands and he kissed me. I wanted so desperately for us to fall back together. I wanted so desperately for this to be real.

“Oh madam, thank you,” the small girl said as she threw her arms around me.

“Sophie?”

“Master Erlich told me that I was to be your maid.”

I grinned at her. I had forgotten to speak with Thomas about the girl. Mediera must have mentioned it to him last night. Although when she had found the chance, I couldn’t imagine. “I hope you don’t mind. Perhaps I should have asked you first.”

“No, no, madam. That was not necessary. This is a boon for me. A ladies maid is such a grand position.”

“I’m glad you’re pleased.”

“I am. But madam, I am not a very good seamstress. And I don’t know a great deal of the court fashions. I may not be of much help to you.”

“We’ll figure it out together.”

“Should I help you dress?”

“Please.” I nodded.

Sophie knelt down and fingered both the day dress and the evening gown that lay haphazardly on the floor.

“Do you have anything else?” Sophie asked as she fretted over the wrinkles and the stains.

“No. This is it, I’m afraid.”

She picked up the day dress, which was soiled at the bottom from walking through the grass.
 

“I can clean it tonight, after you turn in,” Sophie offered. “But I think you will have to wear it like it is today.”

“That would be appreciated. I’ll try to visit the Abbey today. Perhaps they will give me a few simple black dresses.”
 

Sophie frowned. “The sisters rarely dress simply. Or in black.”

“Of course. Well, they may have something suitable.”

Sophie took her time buttoning up the back of the dress and attempting to straighten the wrinkled panels. It still looked quite acceptable to me.
 

“Do you know if the family is in the morning room, eating breakfast?” I asked her.

“I think so, madam.”

I left Sophie and headed downstairs. Mediera sat at one of the tables in the morning room, toying with a boiled egg with a silver fork. She looked up at me as I entered the room.

“Where is everyone?” I asked her.

“Clara and Thomas have already eaten and Cedric is still sleeping. Apparently he had too much to drink last night. Thomas said not to expect him up until late in the afternoon.” Mediera frowned, digging her fork deeper into the egg. “I don’t understand why Cedric can’t act rationally.”

“He’s miserable,” I answered.

“I know. But, there’s nothing I can do to fix it. I can’t marry him. He can’t rejoin the army. He can’t do anything. He’s just stuck.” Mediera swallowed hard and hunched her shoulders. “And he’s still angry with me for what happened with Uthur. Oh dear, I miss him so much.”
 

I sat down next to her and put an arm around her. “I miss him too.”

“Did we make a mistake?” she asked me. “Do you think he’s really safe?”

I didn’t have an answer. I just held her as she shook. Finally, she wiped her eyes and took a deep breath. “It had to be the right thing. But, it still leaves Cedric at loose ends.”

“Perhaps Cedric should leave. He could start over. He could go to the new world. He could find Uthur.”

“We can’t leave. I can’t leave.”

“Not you. Just him. There’s supposed to be a port somewhere on the northern coast of Candel. They must have ships that go to the new world.

Mediera looked down at the table. “I don’t know,” she whispered.

“Do you really think I could go?” We both turned around to see Cedric standing in the frame of the door, his broad shoulder spanning most of the doorway.
 

“I think you can do whatever you want to do,” I told him.

“You don’t think Thomas will try to stop me?” he asked.

I shook my head. “I doubt it. But, why don’t you ask him?”

“Where is he?”

Mediera sniffed. “He already left for the council meeting.”

“I forgot it was a meeting day,” Cedric said. “He won’t be back until this evening then.”

“Why aren’t you there too?” I asked Mediera.

She snorted. “I’m a woman. They won’t let me in the room. My ambassador is there though. I’ve instructed him to vote with Thomas. I don’t think he likes having his hands tied, but I’ve given him little choice. Thomas will let me know if the man disobeys me.”

“That’s ridiculous,” I said. “You should be there.”

Mediera grimaced. “We all have to face the unfairness of the world from time to time. We all have a part to play.”

“You don’t seem to mind playing yours,” Cedric quipped.

“Stop it, Cedric,” she said.

“I’ll talk to Thomas tonight,” Cedric said. “He’ll be back by dinner.”

“You would really go?” Mediera asked softly.

“It has to be better than staying here.”

C
HAPTER
17

COURTSHIRE’S ABBEY WAS a tall glass building that reflected sunlight at every angle. It had none of the gothic mystique of Barriershire’s Abbey. The front doors were wide open, and I followed a shabbily dressed woman and three children as they walked through the entrance.

A group of girls stood in the front of the hall, singing a lovely melody while a woman plucked the strings of an impossibly large harp. Some people sat in ornately backed benches that were in evenly spaced lines across the room with flowers twined through their backs. Others stood near the front, listening to the music. There did not seem to be any rhyme or reason to how they positioned themselves. Light streamed into the chaotic scene through glass walls.

Near the back, two women, well-dressed with elaborately styled hair, sat at a small table greeting people. I left the group milling by the singers and walked down the flower-strewn aisle toward the table. As I walked, I touched my arm and felt the thin layer of moisture that was developing from the humidity that enveloped the room.

“Is there an event today?” I asked one of the women after she handed a man a small iron tab from a basket.